Subtle arches. Pretty toes. Svelte ankles. Are you into feet? Step up and take the test on this week's Matt & Brendan. Also: champagne waterfalls, melted blends of cheese and that hauntingly beautiful Kanye/McCartney collaboration.

Matt congratulates Brendan on his late adoption of emoji speak & Instagram. Gift list wishes are fulfilled for the fellas. The presents allow Matt to express his artistic side while Brendan sees an opportunity to deepen connections with a long lost hero.

What are the six simple rules for dating some random lady at a bar? Find out on this week's Matt & Brendan. Also, Matt tests his endurance as part of a personal quest to help his fellow man. The only question is: Would the nog hold him back?

Matt & Brendan dip out in order to learn the highs and lows of getting hooked on Molly. Jingling Santa's jolly balls is the most priceless Christmas moment in recent memory. Dick Butkus' sitcom career teaches an important lesson about drinking.

How does one shake the winter doldrums? Matt & Brendan suggest retail therapy. If that doesn't work, maybe a comedy showcase and drinks at the wrong bar? Still no dice? This might be a case for a vloggy alter ego w/ zero patience for Madison Avenue.

Matt & Brendan raise eyebrows with swapping suggestions, orientation implications & jalapeno beef sticks. Seeking out a secret beer sale costs a pretty penny and tequila neat gets messy. Also, check out what the checkout girl raps about her neck & back

Turkey for Matt,Turkey for Brendan. Let's eat turkey legs but not the tendon. Love to fry the turkey & let it boil. Just don't spill the fire-y oil. Eat that turkey & potato mash. Sit down next to a star from "Crash". Turkey lurkey doo & turkey lurkey dap

Emcees Matt & Brendan are pleased to poll the crowd and Uber around the city w/ giant posters bearing their likeness. Sensing a sexual hippie vibe inspires belly laughs & Imaginary waffles. Also: crop duster revenge & cash envelope tug of war.

Once upon a time Matt & Brendan walked dogs near Bountiful Peak(s) when they saw millions of beautiful, sparkling chesticles of all shapes & sizes. Rows of cabbages were everywhere. M&B squinted at what they thought was movement among the cabbage leaves.

Matt & Brendan's 21st Amendment: Hot Toddy. Preserving a moment in time proves costly at Target. Judging a chili contest becomes tough for those w/kind buds of the taste variety. Debit roulette could provide a financial windfall for one legendary lawman.