Who leads in a waltz with a ghost? How DO you pose for a mid-air downward dog? Will Edmund Hillary locate ShaqFash's baby cow strain? And who's YOUR Chief Vibes Manager?

It's a Socceroos Love-in!

Join Shifty, The Artist Formerly Known As Ma aka Glove aka The Landlord, Dr Duke, The Running Men and Minging Cumdog as 'arry The Orator takes us through the bewilderment of victory. If you're after analysis, don't hold your breath . . . unless you're Graham Arnold, in which case - Please Hold Your Breath!

How do we separate the men from the boys? Can a protest against hot snakes lead to an indefinite toilet ban? Will Shaqiri star in 'Colourblind Brewster's Midgets'? And are Sloppy Studs the new Moist Mitts...?

What have the French ever given us? How much respect is too much respect? Has the CumDog got a leather allergy? What was Angel Di Maria's Starlight Foundation wish? And is the 'K' in Saudi Arabia silent?

Did Qatar ban Peter Andre's butt implants? Is Chucky Lozano lurking under your bed? And are the Socceroos going all the way? You bet your sweet patootie they are!

Is an invention really an invention if it hasn't been named yet? Where does a fart truly originate? And can you power head a quintuplet of own goals?

If Thomas Muller is the Tom Brady of Germany and Gene Hackman is the Thomas Muller of Cinema, is Tom Brady the Luca Modric of Tampa Bay?

Who's who in the zoo...?

We break down all the big questions: Will Harry Maguire regret taking penalties with his head? Is the Ayatolla playing up front against the USA? And where on Earth is Juan currently playing - & no doubt winning - foursquare?

Welcome to your new favourite podcast . . . Well, at least, your new favourite podcast based on the football World Cup and ponderances of where former Socceroos are now.

We have it on good authority Mark Schwarzer has gone into midwifery.