Mbaacha

show notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jfxZzqHVvOFZkmZ2NsAYbfklQZ8cNpRf2tyucm6b14A/edit?usp=sharing

Today I learned about muting my ego. I went home on Tuesday because my uncle was in town. I’d always had great respect for my Uncle because he seemed to be a person I would want to be like. He is always calm, he is kind, and he is always so generous. I knew going home I would learn from him and that’s exactly what happened. With just the two days I spent with him I was reminded of his peaceful nature. I observed him conduct himself in a way of a man who is at peace with himself. I observed him conduct himself in a way of a man “who had nothing to prove.” He is of course human and there were times when his ego did show. But overall it was obvious that this man let go of his pride a long time ago. Observing him eventually led me to this idea today. My uncle is not only a humble, peaceful man but he is also one of the most successful people in our family, in practically all areas of life. It is now obvious that his humble manner is correlated to his success. I believe that his conscious or unconscious practice of a restrained ego has yeilded him more of a peace of mind, more focus on what is truly important in life, and made him more of a contributor to socecity. The negatives that come to mind when thinking about this idea are that it is a delicate balance, sometimes a little more ego is necessary. Sometimes you have to remind yourself who you are and what you’ve done to take on the next challenge. Another negative that comes to mind is that in putting this idea into practice people may see your humbleness as a sign of weakness and prey upon it to their advantage. Particularly in the world of business. Though, these people can only do so for such a short time. Poor behavior always exposes itself. I’ve had my struggles with ego more so than ever. With living in Baltimore I’ve adapted well to dealing with the negativity of others. I’ve come to embrace the petty intimidation games that come my way. I’ve come to find myself testing other people for fun. That is wrong. That is prideful behavior. Testing other people for fun is not a good longterm habit. It is a prideful act. I’ve observed that a common trait of people who are unsuccessful is pride. My ego is always going to be present so I’m going to always have to fight it. One way to break out of it is to cling to a purpose larger than myself.

Today I learned about organizing the week, the benefits of doing so and the negatives of doing so. By 'Organize the week’ I mean to invest time and effort into setting goals and making plans for the incoming week. It is a step by step process. The first thing I do is Rewrite the reasons why I plan the week. The second thing I do is read what I want my life to look like in the next next five years. The third thing I do is write down the things I want to accomplish by the end of the week. The fourth thing I’ll do is type up these goals into an Evernote. Then starting with Saturday I’ll make a list of goals for each day of the week derived from my original list. The sixth thing I’ll do is plan the accomplishment of these list of each day on Google Planner, starting with Saturday as well. One benefit is that upon writing down a list of goals for the week their is now a baseline for the week. I can now measure whether the week was fully utilized or not. Another benefit is that one is more likely to capitalize on the opportunities the week will present. Sometimes opportunities pop up and luckily I’ve already got the goal on my list for the day ready to be checked off. One of the most important benefits I believe is that it gives the week direction. One keeps doing this over and over and it’s pretty obvious that the small steps one takes to get ahead pushes one further as time goes on. The negatives as far as I can tell are few. It just takes time. It just takes practice. It just takes patience. Small price to pay. Organizing the week is a good way to make sure your life is going in the direction you determine.

Formula: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c7Aoq6TOj5KvrgURPL79AjW7iRmkmL5ITG4N1ztXOw4/edit?usp=sharing

Today I learned about attracting respect. I was walking on the sidewalk and I saw someone else coming in my direction. I quickly moved to the shoulder of the sidewalk where the cars driving. I then noticed the other guy did the same. I read this as a challenge to my position but that wasn’t going to happen. So as we walked closer and closer to each other I stared him down and right before we bumped into each other he moved out of my way but gave me a shoulder bump I’m passing. He then turned around and said “Excuse you.” With a look expecting me to excuse myself. Unfortunately for him I did not. I just walked off. Something told me that he was going to follow me as I turned the corner so I braved myself for the worst. When my prediction prove correct and he met me facing towards him he tried to intimidate me by pretending he had a gun in his pocket. I looked at his pocket and saw nothing. I saw that all he wanted to do was save his ego so I called him “brother”’as a means of communicating that he was my equal. The last thing he said was “I don’t want to see you around here again.” Then he walked off. That interaction reminded me of how most of us are starving for respect. That interaction showed me that the best way to get respect was to attract it. By attracting respect I mean by conducting oneself in a way that an objective person would deem that behavior respectful. Attracting respect means that one understands that it can always be rebuilt through one’s own actions. I think this idea is beneficial because it means that you don’t have to put people down to have other people’s approval. It means you observe your behavior and be objective. You ask yourself “If somebody did what you just did would you respect them?” The downside to this idea is that it takes longer to attract people respect. No one is perfect, there are going to be times where I do things I’m not proud of. It takes constant effort to behave in a way in which the objective person who deem respectful. But it’s better than the alternative. Buying respect only works in the shortterm. Forcing respect is likely to backfire. Genuine effort and patience are things that garner the respect of the objective mind. Nelson Mandela’s father was always the last to speak when gathered with his fellow tribesman.

Today I learned about rejection therapy. I was trying to figure out how I found myself on a way to date. I was retracing my steps and realized the thing that got me on a date was just going through a lot of rejection. For about two months before the date I had made it a discipline to introduce myself to a girl who I found attractive. Anywhere I went if there was a girl I found half way cute I would finagle my way into a conversation with her. Each time I did I wrote what I could of done better, studied it frequently, and overtime I got better at courting females. It just makes sense that eventually after two months I would find a girl that wanted a sip of what I was selling. Each time I got rejected I realize how I easy and easier it got to just move on to the next person. I realized from this past two months that embracing rejection gives one the ability to be uneffected by it, it instills confidence, and it increases activity. After facing rejection so many times it was something that I did not fear anymore. In a way I welcomed it because I knew I wouldn’t let it stop me. Eating rejection for breakfast means to deliberately put yourself in a posistion to be rejected. Do something where the person is likely to say no. This makes one more resilient, more confident, and more willing to go after what they want. It’s easy to half ass this idea and give a half hearted attempt in the act of putting yourself up for rejection but doing so would be missing the point. Putting a sincere effort forth then getting a ‘No’ in return makes you stronger and more able for the next time. You’re going to figure out a way you could of went about it better and be on the lookout for the next chance. It becomes a game. People in general take rejection poorly. This causes bad behavior. Upon receiving rejection I’ve seen people do things for short term wins which eventually are the things that lead to the end of relationships altogether. James Comley the originator of this idea was paralyzed by rejection when his wife left him. He receded into himself. But it was when he realized that embracing rejection was the first step to carrying on with his life. I’m putting this idea into practice by just putting myself up for rejection with girls that I come across, I’m still in the act of courting them but if I get rejected by them I carry on. I think this is a beneficial idea because putting it into practice avoids having a stagnant love life, embracing rejection builds self esteem, and it makes one more willing to go for what they want.

Today I learned that I need to do one thing everyday. Starting out last semester I was apprehensive of about taking Calculus 2. I was warned that it a very difficult class and that many students fail on their first attempt. This made take extra caution. I had seen for myself how difficult the class would be by just the first couple of concepts discussed in the beginning lectures. I began looking for ways to increase my ability to learn. I stumbled across a video called How to Learn Anything Fast. The guy in the video talked about how to get good and anything you really just need to put in 40 minutes of focused practice time for 30 days straight. The concept seemed so simple so I put into practice with my Calculus material and the idea beared fruit. I earned a B in my first exam. With doing calculus problems daily for at least 40 minutes I noticed the positives one reaps when they have a daily discipline. For one I noticed it was so much easier to do other coursework and other disciplines when I got my daily discipline out the way. I noticed it was so much easier to be consistent in the long term longterm with other things because I was deliberately consistent in the longterm with one thing. I also found an increased ability to force myself to do what is necessary when the time called for it. One thing that is absolutely required for this idea is a serious commitment. Without a serious commitment to one discipline then there is no way one can reap the benefits of it. Something i didn’t expect to happen when putting ithis dea into practice was how much more order my days seem to have when there was something I would do everyday no matter what. I think this idea is very important because it makes one more action oriented, it develops ones skill to a ever increasing degree, and it also makes one more likely to stay on track in the longterm.

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtJy69cEOtQ

Today I learned that Everybody wins when Everybody’s honest. I was waiting for the train to come back home from visiting my mom, sister, and brother and felt somebody staring at me. I turned to my right and there was a very attractive girl gradually coming close to me on the escalator where I was standing near. I thought about what to do and I decided to distance myself from the girl. So I stepped away and created some distance from where she would likely stand when she got off the escalator. I turned and looked at her and she looked at her phone but had her body position towards me. I thought about going towards her to say yellow but I decided not too. Eventually the train came and as I walked in her direction to board the train she walked in the opposite of mine to reciprocate the rejection I had served her. I thought about why I had rejected her so immediately. It was simply because I had been rejected not an hour ago from another girl so I wasn’t so willing to try again so soon. Later on that train ride I her the girl I rejected in a casual conversation with the person across from her. From what I heard the conversation ended aprubtly and on bad terms. I had a feeling that the negative energy I delivered to the girl had influence that conversation she had with the person sitting across from her. Later that day I realized that had I been honest with myself and admited that the real reason why I didn’t want to engage with the girl who started off smiling at me was because I feared being rejected twice. Instead of being skeptical as to why she was so inviting to me. That moment taught me that Everybody wins when Everybody is honest. Meaning that being honest with oneself not only benefits you but also the people around you. Pushing yourself to reveal the truth in your own mind makes it easier for others to do the same. Lies easily take root and they grow fast. By practicing honesty for ones sake and the sake of others lies in your vicinity are less stronger because you don’t partake in them. With practicing honesty you see people pickup lies that you know they know are wrong. You see them aim down with amusement. This caused me to loose hope for these particular people. This caused me to be temporarily against particular types of people. But to loose hope in another person would mean to one day eventually loose hope in myself. It seems that since ‘Everybody wins when Everybody is honest’ this means ‘Everybody looses when Everybody is dishonest’. Widespread dishonesty breaks up all types of human relationships. Dishonesty breaks up family’s. Dishonesty breaks up friendships. Dishonesty can even ruin the most productive working environment. This is the case because dishonesty tends to steer things in the negative. And it usually does this fast.

Today I learned that I should focus on being fair more than being liked. I was at my schools bookstore hoping to return a book I had rented for the semester. I didn’t know whether or not I would pass the class but I wanted to make sure I avoided the $185 fee, had I not return the book. I handed the book to the guy behind the counter. He took a look at it and said he needed to show the manager because their appeared to be water damage. I calmly said okay because the book seemed fine to me. The manager came out and presented my book with a ripped spine and said that they could not accept my return. I immediately refused that the damage of the book’s spine was my own fault because it wasn’t. She said okay but then said she could not accept my book because of the water damage. I was angry because this meant that I had to pay $185 for the book on top of the $125 I spent renting the book. I argue with lady about how obsurd the circumstances where but she didn’t budge. Even though water damage was minimal. I said I would weigh other options and took the book with me. After thinking about the situation I had to accept that the water was my fault so I had to buy the book. I reasoned that I could just sell the book online and recoup some of my money. But the ripped spine was not my fault so they would have to fix that. After returning the next morning I debated my case persistently. I did so respectfully, tactfully, but in a way where it wasn’t about me or her it was about what is right and what is wrong. Eventually the lady took the book from me and returned, stating that she would just write it off. I said thank you and left. ‘Focus I’m being fair more than being right’ means to do what I think is honestly the right thing. It means seperating my feelings for the other person. It means disregard if whether or not the person will like me or not afterwards. I like this idea because it encourages people to rely on you. Putting this idea into practice makes one trustworthy. Putting this idea into practice makes it easy for people to deal with you because they know if they play fair you will play fair. This idea does require extra effort to apply. A lot of things aren’t black and white. A lot of things need to be seen from both sides. One has to stop and think about what is the fair thing to do. One also has to be prepared to be the bad guy to illustrate a point, to discipline poor behavior. One also has to accept that the majority won’t favor. People forget that actions have consequences when you remind them of that they get angry at you. One thing to note about this idea is that sometimes you have to apply sympathy. Sometimes a person does the wrong thing. The option to leave them out in the cold is tempting it would be best to remember when you were in their shoes. When you made the same mistakes. Your not doing this so that they like you, your doing it because if the roles were reversed you would want to be shown mercy. Focus on being fair than being liked it’s freeing and a better long term approach to dealing with people.

Today I learned about rewriting the reasons. Last Sunday I got up and I just stayed in bed. And went on a YouTube binge. I found myself aimlessly watching videos I really wasn’t even interested in. I knew I had to cook for the new week and get to the library to do some homework but I just wasn’t feeling like it. I had a sense of stagnation that stemmed from my boredom with being in school. Last semester I was motivated and disciplined. Though this semester I was over it. I felt weak siting there last Sunday willfully distracting myself. I got up and made some food but I still couldn’t find the motivation to leave for the library. It was only after sitting there for awhile did I realize that I had to revisit the reason why I was in college. I had wrote out a reason of why I was in college when I wasn’t feeling so motivated last week. I grabbed my notebook and read it over and over again and I found myself back in the zone to get up and keep plugging away with my studies. Later on I found out that taking the time to routinely ask myself things like “Why am I in college?” and jotting down at least six reasons even if their the same from the last time is beneficial. I’ve found that this practice gives one a sense of purpose. It gives one a sense of fufillment. When I wrote down the reasons why I was in college I realized it was more than about getting grades and a diploma. It was about correcting a mistake I made my first try at college. It was about being a better person than I was. It was about so many more meaningful things that just passing a class and moving on to the next semester. I’ve realized now that meaningful things are easy to forget. This idea does have its downside though. I’ve notice how I now have more of tendency to see things as a means to an end. With putting this idea into practice I can get into the bad habit of overlooking the beauty of the day because I’m so focused on the vision in my head. I guess I have to be mindful about being present and simultaneously being longterm focused. Another thing to add is when putting this idea into practice you see the real reason why your doing something. The not so pretty reason. The reason that your kind of ashamed about mentioning to other people. That silient though still embarrassing moment is an opportunity to address an issue before it grows into something larger. Before I’ll do anything big or repetitious now I’ll take a couple minutes and ask myself ‘Why?’

Today I learned about minimalism. As I was setting goals for the day I noticed a difference. When I sat down and set goals for Monday through Saturdaymy goals were more concise. This made them more effective. But being so tied up with other stuff this week I could only set goals a day at a time. I noticed my list for each day was jammed packed. This resulted in my days being less effective in the overall. I realized that because I was focused on the day I stuffed as much as I could onto my list because I felt that is what is necessary to continue the positive direction of my life. But it became obvious that solely focusing on the day itself caused me to squeeze the day far to hard. I had to take a step back and evaluate which goals were most important in order to subtract the ones that were of less significance. This moment reminded me of the minimalism philosophy. I found out about this way of thinking from the documentary named ‘Minimalism’. From the parts I watched of the documentary I learned about how the philosophy itself is based on focusing more on what is most important to you and substracting what is least important to you. The philosophy flys in the face of consumerism. This idea resonated with me because it seems to be exemplified by people I admire. People like Steve Jobs, Kanye West, and Steven Spielberg. These people seem to produce a few number of high quality products. Rather than a larger number of poor quality products. Only fools are impressed by mediocrity. I really respect people that put there all into whatever they do. Being someone like that is difficult because it requires actually being willing to fail. The thing that is difficult with this idea is that it requires constant practice. Things accumulate over time naturally. One had to be standing at the ready to guard what’s most important. I’m finding that the world will always whisper in your ear to have more. But instead of having more I should focus on having more of what’s most important to me and less of what isn’t.