Me and We

Send in your own questions for us to work with on a future Listener Questions episode.
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A candid and conversational episode where Bonnie and Mallika respond to 4 listener questions. 
Topics covered: 
- The difference between fear and anxiety 
- Resonating with other's in their loss of someone important 
- Internalizing resources from others 
- Getting out of political negative predictions 
- How we can be in a relationship that doesn't meet our dependency needs

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

How can we use our aggression that arises in conflict to "box" others and ourselves into a place of choice, a dilemma? 
How can we work with our differences in energy/desire? 

We are not suggesting you go out and try this one right away. Take some time to practice it with yourself!
Where can you find (within yourself) a dilemma, a place of choice between what you've chosen to DO and what your values inform you to do? 

Bonnie and Mallika explore and clarify this skill, which allows us to use some of our retaliatory impulse. 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

BONUS EPISODE - Here in the United States, we are in the middle of a particular heightened context right now, October 2024. Can you stay with your experience in this episode? Can you get some clarity on the frames and skills? 

In this episode, Bonnie and Mallika use this current context to walk through Building Blocks 1-5. 
BB 1 - Seeing Systems
BB 2 - Accepting Perfection
BB 3 - Accessing Emotions 
BB 4 - Embracing Trauma
BB 5 - Channeling Energy 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

It's helpful to look at 3 channels which our energy might be in: 
Willing
Wanting 
Committing 

We often find ourselves in a dynamic with our partners of "more interest" and "less interest." This is a HARD place to be, and helpful to have ways to work with this dynamic.  Whoever has less interest, has more power. 

In this Building Block, Bonnie and Mallika define and explore this dynamic, and offer some helpful ways of framing that give us more clarity, more options and more satisfaction!

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

How are we stronger in the broken places? 
How can we embrace our trauma, and claim the strengths and resources we have developed because of our traumas? 

Our creative system has developed the perfect responses to our context and to our traumas. What beauty and strength can we see in ourselves and our patterns? 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

When we start feeling like our context (work, partnership, etc) is not good enough and there must be something better, we often get pulled into thinking about action: do I say, or do I go? There is suffering here, in the ambivalence of action.

How do we shift out of suffering . . . given that this IS my context . . . what is this a good enough context for? What goal can we meet here in this context as it is? Is there a way that we can make use of our relationship to get better at having move satisfaction? So that, no matter where I go, I can have more skills, resources and capacity to manage my feelings? 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

We are NOT here to say that it's a skill to act out our revenge and retaliatory impulse. BUT it is a skill to allow the impulse and feeling without acting it out. This impulse is healthy!
Bonnie and Mallika discuss how to gain wisdom from this impulse, that many have shut off access to. And how this impulse is related to our dependency on each other to know that we matter. 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

 In this episode, Bonnie and Mallika launch in with 5 specific dependency needs, how they feel in our being, and why they are important in our relationships!
Some of us didn't have certain needs met when we were young. All of us, in some way, experience in us (or in other) "the dependent self."
Sometimes we get into a place where "trauma meets trauma", and more than knowing all the pieces of what's happening, it's more about recognizing the feeling of trauma and pausing when we are activated.
When we can go into, know about and lead others towards our dependency needs we have a greater chance of having them met, while still holding that it is not actually the responsibility of others to meet  them just the way we want. 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

Bonnie and Mallika explore how we can use key moments to shift from generalizations to specific experiences, "in the moment" experience. And how do we let our "Goldilocks" part have space to feel "I don't like it like this! It's not exactly how I want it." 
Mallika shares her real life context of having a new puppy and the challenges it's bringing up with her husband. 
Can we catch our secondary responses? And pull back to our primary emotions?
If we are going to change our stories, we need to capture these key moments in which we can create a new story: 
- one that's more satisfying for us 
- one the doesn't get us into trouble when we approach our partners with our old stories 

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content. 

What are primary emotions?
Which ones are most helpful on this journey of personal and relational growth? 

Bonnie and Mallika dive into which emotions free up our energy, and which ones keep us stuck, in this 3rd Building Block of "Me & We."

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the use of her music.
Listen On Spotify

Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the content.