Send us a text

What happens when your body remembers what your mind has forgotten? In this deeply resonant exploration, Dr. Scott Conkright unveils the powerful concept of narrative repair—the process through which we heal not by forgetting our trauma, but by returning to it with enough safety to complete the stories that were interrupted.

Trauma doesn't just live in our thoughts. It resides in our posture, our breath, our automatic responses to connection and vulnerability. These embodied patterns—what Dr. Conkright calls dynamic vitality affects—were learned in relationships where our full emotional expression wasn't welcomed or supported. We learned to make ourselves smaller, dim our energy, hide behind automatic smiles, and soften our voices not as conscious choices, but as adaptations to environments that couldn't hold our authentic presence.

The path to healing involves recognizing that much of our shame isn't personal but cultural. We're surrounded by impossible standards of perfection—bodies that don't age, productivity without pause, relationships without rupture—creating a framework where normal human experience feels like failure. True liberation begins when we grant ourselves permission to embody authentic presence: staying bright when complimented rather than dimming, taking up space rather than contracting, letting our voices carry weight rather than apologizing for our existence.

This episode redefines coherence not as making everything make sense, but as the ability to feel what happened while staying present with yourself. It introduces the "feeling mind" as the bridge between sensation and meaning—not solving life like a puzzle but animating it like a song. If you've ever felt disconnected from your body's wisdom or trapped in patterns of shame that seem impossible to escape, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap toward embodied authenticity and emotional authorship.

Take the free self-discovery snapshot at scottconkright.com and join our newsletter for weekly insights about upcoming therapy groups, meetups, and live workshops. Your life isn't a problem to solve—it's a feeling to follow.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

Your body whispers truths your mind has yet to comprehend. The nervous system, with its intricate web of responses, stores experiences that predate our ability to form words—carrying forward relationships, traumas, and joys long after conscious memory has faded.

Dr. Scott Conkright takes us on a profound journey through the landscape of emotional integration. We begin by exploring how adulthood marks a pivotal shift from mere emotional reaction to reflection. This threshold isn't simply about maturity; it represents the moment when our fragmented experiences begin weaving into coherent narratives. The prefrontal cortex, now fully developed, collaborates with our emotional centers rather than being overruled by them. Our feelings don't diminish—they become richer, more nuanced, carrying layers of meaning across time.

Trauma disrupts this natural integration. When overwhelming experiences flood our systems, the body remembers what the mind cannot narrate. This isn't just about troubling memories; it's about protective patterns that once saved us but now limit our full expression. The nervous system gets stuck in survival choreographies—shoulders that curl inward, voices that remain flat, bodies that brace against even loving touch. These aren't personality traits but embodied strategies from when the world felt dangerous. The profound confusion that follows affects our very sense of identity: "Who am I if I can't trust what I feel?"

The path toward healing isn't found through cognitive insight alone but through relationship. A traumatized system requires presence, patience, and bodies that don't flinch—because what trauma breaks isn't just affect regulation but trust in human connection. Healing begins in that sacred space where someone can recognize old protective patterns rising and choose something different, not through force but through awareness. It's the moment when the body says, "This happened," and someone responds, "I believe you." Ready to discover where you are on your growth journey? Take our free self-discovery snapshot at scottconkright.com and join our community of healing.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

Have you ever wondered how we transform from reactive infants into reflective adults capable of emotional sophistication? This fascinating journey through human emotional development reveals the remarkable neurobiological revolution that reshapes our inner landscape.

Starting as creatures of pure reflex, our earliest emotional systems function like uncalibrated fire alarms—all intensity with little modulation. The infant experiences the world through immediate, unfiltered reactions, with the endocrine system still learning to calibrate its responses. But slowly, through care and time, toddlers begin developing the first hints of emotional regulation.

Then puberty arrives, bringing a radical transformation. As the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis awakens alongside the existing stress response system, a complex chemical dialogue begins. Hormones like testosterone, estrogen, and oxytocin don't just drive physical changes—they fundamentally reshape how emotions are experienced and interpreted. This neurobiological revolution transforms us from cat-like beings (reactive, impulsive) into more dog-like emotional systems (relational, attentive to social cues).

Most profound is the emergence of "affect grading"—the sophisticated ability to experience subtle variations within emotions rather than just their extremes. Instead of moving directly from calm to rage, adolescents develop intermediate experiences like irritation and frustration. This capacity allows teenagers to begin crafting narrative identities, linking their emotional experiences to autobiographical memory and creating coherent stories about who they are becoming.

The ultimate achievement of this developmental journey is affective sophistication—the ability to experience our full emotional range while maintaining the capacity to modulate, interpret, and choose our responses. We learn that while we have feelings, we are not defined by them. We become authors of our emotional lives, capable of saying: "This is what I felt, this is what I chose, and this is who I am becoming."

Want to understand how your emotional landscape was shaped? Listen now and discover the remarkable story of how we become storytellers of our own emotional lives.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

Your body remembers what your mind may never have known. Deep within muscle and tissue, in the rhythm of your breath and the tension in your shoulders, lies a somatic record of your earliest relationships—created long before you had words to describe them.

This profound exploration of embodied memory reveals how our nervous systems develop in relationship with others. From our first moments, our bodies are recording not just what happens, but what to expect. A warm smile becomes an internal feeling of safety. An unanswered cry teaches the system to amplify distress or shut down entirely. These aren't conscious strategies but bodily adaptations that become our implicit knowing of how the world works.

The science behind this process shows how subcortical brain regions store affective experiences before cognitive memory develops. This explains why, even as adults, we might feel unsafe without knowing why, or find ourselves repeating relational patterns despite our best intentions. Our earliest experiences create a somatic script—not a narrative we consciously follow, but a feeling-based blueprint for how to move through the world.

But here's what makes this understanding so powerful: because these patterns were formed in relationship, they can be transformed through relationship as well. Through therapy, friendship, and love that stays present with our big feelings, we can gradually reshape our nervous systems. This healing doesn't happen through insight alone but through new experiences of being seen, understood, and accepted—creating new embodied memories that expand our capacity for connection.

Want to understand yourself more deeply? Start by listening to the wisdom of your body. It holds truths your conscious mind may still be catching up to.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

What if everything you thought you knew about emotions was backwards? Our journey begins with a startling truth: before you could think, speak, or even know who you were, you existed as a creature of pure affect. We dive deep into the fascinating world of pre-cognitive emotional experience, exploring how babies communicate through their first language—the language of feeling expressed through their bodies.

We examine the profound implications of being born with an underdeveloped stress response system, where feelings don't just occur—they become your entire reality. Drawing from the work of pioneers like Winnicott, Reich, and van der Kolk, we unpack how these early affective experiences create lasting patterns in our nervous systems. The conversation reveals how dynamic vitality affects—the choreography of our core feelings—continue to influence our movements, relationships, and responses decades later.

Perhaps most importantly, we discover that these patterns aren't fixed. Understanding how the body becomes its own echo opens pathways for healing and transformation. Through awareness of these deeply embedded rhythms, we can begin to author new stories about ourselves and our capacity for connection. The vulnerable creature you once were still lives within you, and learning its language might be the key to understanding yourself more completely.

Subscribe and share your thoughts on how early emotional experiences have shaped your own patterns of feeling and connection.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

What if your emotions weren't just random feelings but actually sophisticated firmware—hardwired systems constantly running in your brain's background? This groundbreaking idea forms the foundation of our deep dive into affect theory and its profound implications for authentic happiness.

Your emotional operating system isn't infinitely variable. We're all born with nine specific core affects—biological responses that tag experiences as important, dangerous, pleasurable or socially significant before conscious thought even begins. These aren't subjective emotions but universal firmware that shapes how we process everything from relationships to life goals. Understanding interest/excitement as your curiosity system, enjoyment/joy as your reward mechanism, and even shame/humiliation as your social repair alert completely transforms how you work with feelings. Instead of fighting against these hardwired responses, you can learn to use them as powerful navigational tools.

Taking this understanding further, we explore how these core affects shape our life stories through four essential relationships: with yourself (as the lead actor), with meaning (as the screenwriter), with money (as the producer), and with others (as the casting director). Most of us live scripts we didn't write and cast people before knowing what story we're telling. By consciously addressing these four pillars in sequence, you create a life that feels authentically yours. Your core feelings provide the raw data, while your evolving life script organizes these feelings into patterns that reflect your deepest values. Ready to transform your emotional understanding and become both the artist and artifact of your own story? Listen now and discover what genuine happiness is made of.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

What drives those who are never quite satisfied, always seeking the next challenge or idea? The concept of "divine discontentment" offers a fascinating lens to understand this psychological phenomenon. Drawing from the mythological figure Theseus, who was cursed/blessed by the gods with an insatiable curiosity, this exploration reveals how certain personalities thrive on constant questioning and learning.

At its core, divine discontentment isn't a flaw but a fundamental orientation toward growth. Using Silvan Tomkins' affect theory as foundation, we discover that interest and excitement are actually feeling states - not just cognitive processes. These drive our curiosity and creative pursuits, while enjoyment and joy allow us to process and integrate our experiences. The perpetually curious mind toggles between these states, always reaching for what lies "behind door number three."

This restlessness can create unique challenges, particularly around shame - that biological signal that interrupts our positive affects when we don't get what we want. Society often weaponizes shame, teaching us to blame ourselves entirely for complex situations with multiple causes. For the divinely discontent, this can manifest as chronic low-level shame or feelings of isolation when others don't share their drive for more.

Finding community with others who understand this particular form of restlessness can be profoundly healing. Rather than pathologizing your desire to learn and grow, embrace it as your unique way of engaging with the world. The journey may not lead to permanent contentment, but perhaps that's not the point. Maybe the divinely discontent find their greatest joy not in arrival but in the constant, curious exploration of what might be possible.

Are you someone who feels this perpetual ache for more knowledge, experience, or understanding? Join our community of the divinely discontent as we explore how to channel this drive into meaningful relationships, creative work, and personal growth.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

That persistent ache when everything looks perfect on paper but something still feels missing – it's not ingratitude or failure. It's what I call divine discontentment, a profound developmental signal that your current reality has become too small for your emerging self.

Through the story of Patricia, a successful CEO wrestling with this very phenomenon, we explore how this sacred ache serves as a compass pointing toward growth and greater meaning. Drawing on affect theory and the pioneering work of Sylvan Tompkins, we examine how our core feelings – those fast, automatic bodily responses that precede emotions – drive our search for meaning and authentic expression.

The moment of "lacense" represents that first crack in our narrative when we realize the story we've been living is no longer our own. For Marcus, a decorated military veteran, this manifested physically: "I know who I was. I don't know who I am now." His body knew what his mind hadn't caught up to yet – a common experience during times of transition.

We also delve into cultural narratives about aging and introduce the concept of "laidalescence" – a revolutionary framework that challenges outdated notions of middle and late adulthood. Rather than viewing aging as decline, laidalescence recognizes it as a phase of adaptation, purpose, and self-renewal that can begin at different points depending on one's circumstances and mindset.

Understanding your core feelings – the biological foundation of your emotional life – provides powerful tools for channeling your sacred ache into transformation rather than suffering. What if that restlessness you feel isn't a problem to be solved but a message to be decoded? What if your sacred ache is the truest thing about you – the part that refuses to settle for a life smaller than your potential?

Have you experienced this divine discontentment? How has it shaped your journey? Share your thoughts and join the conversation about rewriting our stories of meaning, purpose, and growth.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

A sleepless night in Washington DC with an aching back became the catalyst for a profound realization: everything we believe about aging might be wrong. As I lay there wrestling with physical discomfort and society's negative scripts about getting older, I experienced a moment of clarity that would transform not just my own perspective, but potentially our collective understanding of adult development.

From this awakening emerged the concept of Latalescence – a revolutionary framework that reimagines the adult life journey as an ongoing process of growth rather than inevitable decline. Built upon three interconnected principles – Lateral movement, Coalescence, and continuous adult development – this new paradigm challenges us to see aging not as a problem to solve but as an opportunity for unprecedented growth and contribution.

We stand at the threshold of what I call the Great Age Revolution. With lifespans extending dramatically, adding what amounts to an entire second adulthood to the human life cycle, traditional models of retirement and productivity are becoming obsolete. By 2030, more people will be over 60 than under 10 worldwide, yet we lack sophisticated frameworks for understanding this extended period of vital adulthood.

At the heart of Latalescence lies the practice of self-authorship – the conscious decision to become the primary creator of your own life story. Many of us discover in midlife that our deepest aspirations and fears aren't fully our own but inherited narratives from parents, teachers, and society. Early Latalescence begins with this awakening and the courage to align our lives more authentically with our values and wisdom.

This developmental journey also embraces body-based wisdom, integrating our biological responses, emotional landscape, and cognitive understanding into a cohesive whole. Through this integration, we can create meaningful happiness – not by avoiding life's challenges, but by thoughtfully and courageously engaging with them.

Whether you're questioning traditional narratives about aging or seeking new ways to contribute your wisdom, Latalescence offers both practical guidance and an inspiring vision for life's second act. Join me in this exploration of what becomes possible when we break free from outdated stories and embrace the full potential of our continued development.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright

Send us a text

Beneath the words we exchange in relationships lies a hidden language—a rhythmic dance between nervous systems that shapes our connections more powerfully than what we say. This episode ventures into the fascinating world of Dynamic Vitality Affects (DVAs), the subtle patterns of timing, pacing, and movement that determine whether we feel safe, connected, or understood with our partners.

Have you ever felt instantly disconnected from someone without knowing why? Noticed that certain silences feel heavier than others? Experienced the confusion when a simple text lands wrong? These moments aren't just miscommunication—they're rhythm mismatches between two bodies trying to connect.

Drawing from polyvagal theory and affect relational theory, I unveil seven distinct DVA patterns that emerge in the first two years of relationships: the gentle approach of "glide" like a sea turtle moving with intention; the vulnerable uncertainty of "hover" resembling a deer at the edge of a clearing; the emotional urgency of "burst" like a border collie needing engagement; the protective withdrawal of "collapse" mirroring a sloth's conservation; the persistent "loop" of a hummingbird testing approaches; the camouflaged "override" of an octopus hiding true feelings; and the harmonious "sync" of dolphins moving in perfect resonance.

Most early relationship conflicts aren't about compatibility but about crossed rhythms—one person surges while another freezes, one collapses while another hovers. Learning to read these patterns transforms arguments from content battles ("you always/never...") to rhythm adjustments ("I think I collapsed because my glide wasn't met").

Whether you're navigating a new relationship or seeking deeper connection in an established one, understanding DVAs offers a powerful lens for seeing beyond words to the embodied conversation happening between two nervous systems. When we learn to move in rhythm together, we don't just communicate better—we create the profound experience of emotional home.

Subscribe to Meaningful Happiness for weekly conversations that change you, and join me in exploring the science of connection and the art of becoming.

Support the show

For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright