Melancholy Minutes

If there is one thing that drives me mad, it is the attempt to make a non-family situation a family situation.

As listeners of this podcast, I am sure you already know being a family member to me is probably a death sentence.

That being said, how many people excuse poor behavior because they don't want to confront you?

If you find out, can you let me know?

It's a difficult situation. You barely trust yourself, but you also want to trust others.

You can't do that either.

There are many methods to build trust in others, you have to test it out on yourself first. Find the openings in your schedule. Look for ways to change your trust. Work within a structure. Understand why you're wasting time and how you can proceed from there.

All these things help you find trust in yourself. The real question is who is letting you down in your personal life and what can you do to make the change?

This holiday is full of interesting things, but it is also full of bad memories and the death of celebrating any sort of holiday in my family. Of course, you have to realize this was intentional as my own beliefs were destroyed by the people who didn't have much to go on and had no money to even try.

On this day, be safe and be sound. Don't party too hard and enjoy the interesting costumes out there. Also, be wary of those who wish to ban costumes. This is a slippery slope of ghoulish proportions. 

WIth the sickness wave passing, I now must face the coughing fits and possible pneumonia.

Of course, this means I get to reflect on my past and where I constantly fail myself. Where this becomes an issue and how I limit my life and my abilities.

It comes, of course, down to money and the obsession to worship money as a deity.

Pretty simple, says it on the tin. 

I am not good, but it is expected.

I am not getting better, but it is expected.

I am sick, so that isn't helping.

The compounding illness indeed.

During my time off physical sickness, it also brings to light my struggles with mental illness during the season.

Seasonal illness is the worst, but it is also made worse by the situations at hand. No hope, no change, no focus. Nothing will make things better. These months, it is best to ride it out and try to catch up at the same time.

If you have a story you'd like to share about your struggles with seasonal depression, I would love to hear it!

You might know what love is, but I have no idea.

Everything I thought was love was instead control. Everything I loved I pushed away. Everyone I loved I eventually betrayed.

These are the terrible things you have to face when you are coping with gaslighting.

You are not alone if you are detached from love.

This isn't to say we are sticking up for narcissists.

Instead, we are lumping in people who we don't agree with and calling them narcissists.

We want to give them a stigma so they will relent and admit their wrong-doing.

The slippery slope we experience is when we start using words to define something that isn't correct is quite dangerous indeed.

As it says on the tin. Strap in and let the body politic run away in your mind!

How about seven minutes?

This episode touches on how gaslighting destroyed my positivity and turned me into the ever aware and always tired abuse victim.

If you have been gaslighted, you are not alone. You have my empathy.