In this episode, Quincy and I hit record mid-conversation and follow our thoughts:
We begin by reflecting on the previous episode with Clairvoyant Elizabeth Mihelich, which leads us to addressing the symptoms I experience from [C]PTSD and the emotional neglect I suffered in my childhood .
Quincy drills down to the deep questions: "In a situation where you never received confirmation that your parents loved you more than religion, (you knew for certain they would never change or that they weren't here anymore) what would be your measure of love?"
I see where I have been okay being neglected in love with friends and former partners. When I am not listened to, I do not feel loved. So how can I undo this pain? I choose to engage in loving relationships with those who value active listening.
Memoirtistry is a practice, years in the making; what I share is my present action to heal the past and envision a future. How do you share a full picture of who you are?
"Not wanting to rock the boat" poisons relationships.
What I gained from this conversation is a new level of safety with Quincy. I haven't felt free with my words in this way with another person since I was married, and having divorced the person I felt this with, it's been difficult to achieve trust in all relationships following. I'm grateful to Quincy for sticking with me all these years; together, we have outlived my marriage.
Purchase I Was a Good Wife: A Self-Portrait on Amazon.
I'm learning how to point to the symptoms of [C]PTSD through my art, as therapy. Everything I do is an attempt to show the work.
And then we get into business. Quincy and I are brainstorming a new podcast!
Book Reference: The Finding of The Third Eye by Vera Stanley Alder (now I'm committed to making it to age 49)
Building a timeline of your life in five-year increments, noting your personal memories and the stories your family have shared to paint a picture of who you are, is a helpful activity.
Eventually we land on discussing a desire (perhaps for a future episode) that Quincy has to rewrite the experience women in his life have had with men.