Hola funky media radio listeners, it's Michelle, aka Essex Bird with this week's news and updates on the Costa Del Sol, you know, this week is my 13th podcast on Funky Media Radio and not that I suffer from Triskaidekaphobia.....Try saying now after a few wines.!

Triskaidekaphobia, which for those of you don't know, is the fear of the number 13 and I'm under a little bit more pressure today because I'm actually being filmed as I'm speaking to you. Now that's all I can say. So I'm going to try and keep my tongue from colliding with my teeth and get on with what's been going on here on the coast but before I do, I just want to touch back on Triskaidekaphobia because it's really interesting. 

It's estimated that around 800 to $900 million dollars are lost in America annually because of Triskaidekaphobia as people won't fly, they won't do business as usual.

40% of Real Estate Agents admit that houses that have the number 13 in their address are difficult to sell, and they often get sold at a lower price than similar houses with a different number 

There are also many hospitals that have no room number 13.  While many tall buildings, skip the 13th floor.

Even a former US President Franklin D Roosevelt refused to travel on the 13th of any month and would never sit at a table with 13 people. So, there you go. just a bit of useless information for the next Trivia Pub Quiz you attend. Now you know what Triskaidekaphobia you’ll is sleep better tonight. That is, unless you're Triskaidecaphobia er phobic, and is the 13th of the month.

Okay, now let's get into this week three, and an update or I should say, a lack of an update on our friend, the man adrift on the surfboard. If you remember the man. He was rescued. He'd been at sea for three days after falling from a ship and had been floating on this surfboard. We now know that the Coast Guard Vessel Salvamar Vega, took him to Estepona port so a waiting ambulance could take him to a local health center to be treated for like hypothermia but now, his exact whereabouts as of August 25 are unknown. They can't find him!!

How comes, they can find the geezer in the sea after being there for three days and now they have absolutely no idea where he is. Unbelievable!!

Maybe he's David Blaine or Dynamo who knows? I got a feeling that we're never going to get to the bottom of this story. I think he's probably in Calais by now trying to hitch a dinghy ride. Oops.....am I allowed to say that or am I being a little un PC.

You know this over lefty thing is really beginning to make my teeth itch, I totally understand asylum seeking. I always thought that you had to claim asylum in the first free democratic country that you arrived at. I know I'm essentially an immigrant myself out albeit not an asylum seeker. I moved to Spain 12 years ago, the legal way am I add and as an Expat, I guess I should really keep my big gob shut but my family, my children and my grandchildren are still in the UK and some of the goings on out there are turning me into a bit of a political warrior in my old age. So I'm finding it really hard to keep quiet. Either the world is going mad or I am. 

Now, so it seems another story that I brought you two weeks ago, about a company called AstraZeneca, along with Oxford University halted their drug trials for the COVID-19 vaccine. They suspended clinical trials because of an unexplained illness that broke out in one of the study participants. This really dims out any hope of a potential cure by the end of the year. On August 9 according to The New York Times, a very reputable newspaper I'd like to add. A participant based in the UK was found to have Transverse Myelitis. That's an inflammatory syndrome that affects the spinal cord. Thank goodness these people are diligent, and they act immediately on a problem should it occur. I think that will make us all a little bit safer should a vaccine come along and can I just add that I think that's totally going to stuff up Trump's special surprise prior to election day don’t get me started on American politics, that's a whole other subject. Anyway, trials of the vaccine.... They were underway in different stages in like Britain, America Brazil, South Africa and India, and they plan to start trials in Japan and Russia but for the moment it's all been put on hold. Of course the other pharmaceutical companies the major pharmaceutical companies like, you know, SmithKline, Pfizer, Johnson and Johnson are also working hard on a cure and let's hope they come up with something safe soon but I have to admit even I'm getting a little bit fed up with the new norm but we do what we have to do to keep safe don't we ?

Talking about the new normal. This has brought with its different habits which have become part of our everyday life across the globe now. We knew it was only a matter of time and God bless them, the entrepreneurs have sprung into action with this year must have accessory, The Face Mask. 

Now, we started off with those little blue medical masks. Then they weren’t the right ones, so in came the duck bill ones, as I call them. Is it just me, or do you look like someone with a duck billed platypus on your face sideways? They're the strangest looking things. But now we have a game changer. Designers have gone to town and I mean like here you can pick up a pretty patterned mask at any market or growing number of shops for around like five euros which are washable and for an extra three euros, you can get a pack of filters that go inside them, or you can choose to pay 200 euros for a Fendi Mask. Now of course Louis Vuitton is also getting their beak into the action. I've actually seen somebody wearing one of those, or you can choose a 9.99 two pack designed by Mango.

Now Reebok Adidas, and Puma have also jumped onto the bandwagon but to be fair to Reebok, they are doing a Save the Children mask for around like 14.95 euros for a pack of three but every two euros of that goes to the "Save the Children"  charity so at least they're doing something worthwhile. 

I mean who knows if, if, even you know we're doing the right thing wearing them or not but seriously 200 euros for a Mask? You might as well print Dick Turpin on it. When I leave my house with my sunglasses and mask on. I already looked like I'm going out on the rob. I do feel sorry for people working in banks and places like that, the police. Before I mean before they could see who was coming at them and who they were dealing with. Now we will look like something out of Stepford.  

Right I’m getting off the down stuff onto the humorous side. Now you know how I love weird news stories and this week; I’m taking you to Austria. I've decided that there are people in this world who have definitely lost the plot.

An Austrian man battled a wave of pain. So be his own record for the longest full body contact with ice cubes, What? Why? I bet pain wasn't the only thing he suffered I'm surprised his bits hadn't permanently shrunk. I mean, get this a guy called Joseph Koerbel stayed in a glass box, filled up to his shoulders with ice cubes for 2 hours, 30 minutes and 57 seconds on Saturday. A crowd of people watched as Mr. Koebel beat his previous best from 2019 by 30 minutes, in the town square of  Melk in Lower Austria Oh my god I bet that was like really riveting viewing and watching some guy in an icebox....... his previous best? He's done this crazy stunt before. It took 440 pounds of ice cubes that were needed to fill up the box which Mr. Koerbel stepped inside, while wearing nothing but swimming trunks. Me,  I would have demanded a fur coat. One of those seals skin wraps that they give you when you go to these ice hotels, a pair of swimming trunks?

Nah don't think so. In order to fight the wave of pain caused by the freezing temperatures. He told reporters he was trying to focus on positive emotions..... er like what, like he's nuts not shriveling up. Sorry but I can't imagine what positive emotions. I be thinking, other than get me the hell out of here and I want a hot towel. Anyway, after finishing he then enjoyed a celebratory ice cream, as any normal person would.

Did you think that was the end?

No. Mr. Koerbel is planning to beat his own record one more time in Los Angeles in 2021. Now Mr. Koerbel, I wish you all the luck in the world but personally I think you're an absolute lunatic. I really, really do.

Well guys, that's all I have for you this week, nothing too much is really exciting has happened here. So, I've brought you what has been going on. I hope you have an absolutely wonderful week. I will be back with you next one next Wednesday. Stay safe, God bless everybody.  Hasta luego from the Costa del Sol.

www.funkymedia.agency 

www.funkymediaradio.app

Hi everybody it's Michelle, Essex bird, coming to you live from the Casa Del Sol once again and bringing you some updates on some things I've already told you about and some new bits and pieces and I don't know if you remember last week I told you about the most awful fire we had in Laguna village, Estepona and the place, as I said to you went up like a tinderbox because it was all thatched roofs. They have now found out what's happened, well to a point the Mayor along with business owners are going to fast track the rebuilding of Laguna village so that's good news. The building paperwork is going to be rushed through, which here in Spain is a miracle. And hopefully, they'll have this place up and running this shopping and leisure complex centre, will be back open by Easter. April 2021 so let's hope that all goes to plan what I did find out is a man 51 and a woman a 43 were arrested over their possible role in the event. Now, it seemed like this couple had, they'd ughh wired up their ram shackled hut, they're describing it as to the main power cable by plugging in overground cables. So they're now being investigated for possible arson over serious neglect and electricity supply fraud, their passports have been taken off them, no doubt. The National Police have determined  that this was an electrical failure. It happened because this place was illegally hooked up about 100 metres away with power cables and it was declared a level one emergency at 3:20pm in the afternoon. There were firefighters from all over Malaga Province, as well as three helicopters that mobilised immediately to tackle the flames. So God bless the bomberos they work very hard in this heat and all that gear. I would not want to be a fireman it's got to be a heck of a job. Unfortunately the fire burned about 42 hectares of land, and around 30 homes and a large major hotel had to be evacuated and the A7 motorway was cut off in both directions. Now when I say motorway I use this term very loosely because I don't know if anybody's been here to the Casa Del Sol but you will know that we have one road is called the A7, and it runs from way past Malaga, all the way to Gibraltar. There are other roads, there are toll roads, but this particular road is not motorway it's more like a dual carriageway. There are two lanes either side, runs the length of the coast. Everything is off of this road, it doesn't matter where you're going. If you're going from Estepona to Marbella. If you're going Marbella to Fuengirola you have to take the A7 you don't have a choice so when that rug gets stuffed up,  it is a real bugbear for all of us. So let's just hope that they get Laguna Village back up and running, and they're open and ready again for business because people have had enough problems without all this going on. The next update was .....Do you remember that guy that fell off that cruise ship and have been floating in the sea for three days on a surfboard ?

 

Remember him? Well I never got to the bottom of that nobody else has yet either but a lot of questions now are beginning to surface, no pun intended, of how the heck you manage the fall of a cruise ship with a surfboard. The plot thickens. We'll have to see where that one comes out soon as I hear any news I'll let you know,

 

Ahh some more restrictions unfortunately introduced into Andalusia this week, just in case anybody is unsure of Andalusia or what the how it works here in Spain. We have a central government, which is in Madrid, but Spain is split up into states like, bit like America, you have the province of Alicante you have the province of Valencia, and you have the province of Andalusia which is where I live, where the Casa Del Sol is. So here in Andalusia weddings and celebrations, conferences and other events have been reduced down from 300 people to 150 people, and that's in open air events in closed  places. It's 250 down to 100. Now we're only allowed to have 10 people at a table. That's regardless of whether you go to eat whether you go to the event. The rule is 10, no more than 10 people at a table and of course the tables must be socially distanced. The thing that surprised me was, well not surprised me, I guess, free bars are not now permitted. You cannot have a free bar. So if you're having a wedding. Forget the free bar you've just saved yourself a fortune. I think it's because of the whole you know, we have a drink we lose our inhibitions, people get a bit huggy smoochy and we want this whole horrible thing to go away so they've cut that out and venues must be closed by 1am.

 

Also the news about care homes. They will no longer be allowed visitors, if there is one or more confirmed cases of covid in the actual home, relatives will be allowed WILL be allowed to visit. But with restrictions and precautions in place, and local incident rates are also going to be taken into account so you know that's that's understandable.

 

Now this next happening. This next happening, must have been like a scene from a TV production. I kid you not, a Police helicopter swooped down on some Narcos emptying jet bikes on a resort between Marbesa and Nikki Beach which is in Elviria Marbella. If you may you may have heard of, Nikki Beach, this is a place that younger people tend to go buy bottles of very expensive Cristal, shake them and then spray them over the crowd, have no idea why they do that. Personally I would drink it for that much a bottle but if that's your thing, go right ahead.  A group of young people started unloading packages on the beach, while it's being filmed by innocent beach goers. See now I told you about these Photo Shamers last week, I said to you. Be very careful what you do because the next thing you know is, you're going to be the highlight of Facebook for a couple of days. They think that the jetski bikes were unloading packages from a vessel, a bit further out in the sea, so far only one Moroccan male age 35 has been arrested. The police were notified by people on the beach who called in my bag council are now recommending that these high end water bikes be confiscated and handed over to the lifeguards for public use. Personally, I think that is a brilliant idea. I really do think that is a great idea they can be used for the greater good.  Well done Marbella Council. You got my vote on that one.

 

Now I'm going to tell you a little secret I have a secret crush. And I've had a secret crush on this person for a long time. And oddly enough, they own a villa not far from where I live. And this particular crush that I have is on a Spaniard, and my Husband is aware of this crush the crush that I have is on a Spaniard, and the name of the person I'm talking about is Antonio Banderas.

 

Ohhhh just the mention of his name make my knees go weak. Anyway, the poor man has been suffering from this horrible Kung Flu, as I've heard it called for a few weeks and it's now hes thankfully recovered. And I gotta tell you, Antonio Banderas is considered like Malagas Son. He was born here. And they are so proud of him, and he opens the Easter Parade every year here in Malaga. He called a press conference this week to talk about his theatre, cos he's got a theatre Malaga and his upcoming film and TV projects that he's preparing for and a new Broadway musical in 2021. Can't wait for that. Can't wait to find out what that is. I hope he's taking part. Such a lovely guy always finds time, always finds time excuse me for his fans. Oh my gosh, I thought he was so sexy in Evita and in my opinion he still is at the ripe age of 60.  So, Antonio Banderas, if you ever get to hear this. I'm your biggest fan and I wish you well and I hope your upcoming projects are fantastic, fantastic. You know, you know what I'm trying to say see I've gone all gooey cos it's Antonio Banderas.

 

Right. Lastly, lastly, I want to pay tribute. I want to pay tribute to three people that live here on the coast, which I had the pleasure of spending last Wednesday evening with, and I'm happy to call them my friends you know, the people I'm referring to are a lovely lady named Lucy Pardoe who is an absolutely fabulous singer here on the coast, her partner Ollie Hughes, who is our Robbie Williams tribute act on the coast and their friend Stephen. Now, Ollie, aka Robbie came up with the idea, he wanted to entertain people on the coast. It was like one of his inspirations was Live Aid. So then Lucy opened a Facebook page, with the help of their friend Steven, and that page not only went viral but it went global and "Rock the Lockdown" was born. Then they managed to get Acts and Entertainers from all over the world to participate and entertain thousands of us and I mean thousands of us every single weekend online. There was a lineup of Acts and during that time, it was absolutely fantastic. Some of you may have seen it. It kept our spirits up, it kept us clapping. And it gave us something great to look forward to on the weekends. So I just wanted to say, Well done, my friends, Lucy, Ollie and Steven. What you created was amazing. You kept us rocking in our homes, and I know that they have been struggling at the moment, like so many artists on this coast, due to the situation but I just wanted to say thank you so many of us appreciated your hard work and your determination. Now, I know you have a little something going on in the pipeline and I wish you both, all the luck in the world, because all I want to say to you is "Rock the Lockdown,  Fan-bloody-tastic !!  That's what it was.

 So, my friends across the water. That's it for this week. I have nothing else to tell you about, well I kind of do but I've got to keep my gob shut on it so when I'm allowed to tell you, I will let you in on a little secret. But it's television related.  Anyway. God bless. Take care. Have a wonderful week. Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

Download our app, never miss a show!

www.funkymediaradio.app

Hi guys, it's Michelle the EssexBird checking in again from the Costa del Sol and this week we've had a few happenings here in the land of heat and to be honest, it has been the land of eternal heat for the last few months but they say this week the temperatures are coming down, so we've got our fingers crossed and we're all breathing a sigh of relief because I can tell you that I think this honestly has been the hottest summer that I've endured in my 12 years of living here anyway, talking of heat, we've had a another dreadful fire over the weekend, this time in Estepona. That's just up the coast from me a little bit what we're hearing is a guy lit a bonfire on the other side of the road. And because of the strong winds that we had on Saturday, the embers blew across the road onto the beach side, and completely gutted. a really well visited resort called Laguna Village. Unfortunately, all the Chiringitos the restaurants the shops on the beach side have thatched roofs. So, it just went up like a tinderbox. Thank god there were no casualties, but the entire village is just a shell, it is so sad. I have seen the video I've even posted video on my own page on Facebook and it was just abhorrent and it was really horrible. Even the five star Kempinski hotel sustained some damage, as it's at, as well as some other businesses in the wake of the fire, and it just makes you so sad for these people, especially in a time where ordinary folk are just trying to regain a much needed financial boost after having just opened. You know, that's just the saddest thing that their businesses now are all gone. The next story happened on August, the 26th, how this ever happened. I have no idea but a British man apparently was rescued after floating on a surfboard for three days. The guy was fully dressed in a white shirt with rolled up sleeves and claimed he fallen from a cruise ship. I kid you not !  I thought, all the cruises have been stopped at the moment. Mate, if this is an insurance claim, you have so got your timing wrong. He said to be dehydrated and hypothermic, and was taken to Estepona Medical Center or medical the hospital there for treatment. It's all going on in Estepona this week. It seems a bit of a strange yarn to me because no one from where I can see has been reported missing to the Casa Del Sol police that have fallen from a vessel. There have been absolutely no reports and when I say police. We have three branches here, we have the Guardia Civil, we have the Policia National, and we have the Policia Local is unclear at this moment, how this guy managed to survive, but the police are hoping this 55 year old British National will soon be in you know well enough to be identified and questioned and I bet when he's questioned is gonna give them one hell of a story, I mean can you imagine ? I will try and chase that up and see what that was about. We have also had a report this week in Spain, that we have secured. Our first doses of the vaccine of this awful virus. Now according to Spanish sources. The Health Ministry and the Government have told the European Commission, that it will participate in a plan to purchase 300 million doses for EU countries from a British Swedish pharmaceutical company. The name of the company called AstraZeneca, they once the vaccine has been proven safe safely and the optimum word that's the word we all want to hear isn't it safe. Once its safe.

 

then they will announce it. Under the agreement announced on August 14. Each European Union Member State that joins the plan will receive the proportion to their population. So this means that Spain will probably receive somewhere in the way of 31 million doses. The drug known as AZD7442 . Why cant they get it's just a normal name we can all get to grips with ? is currently being developed by AstraZeneca, and the Oxford University. It's not clear what EU states will be paying for this, but the company said that the vaccine is only going to cost a few euros. So it will be made easily accessible to everyone. In the meantime, Spain is also looking into other options like from Germany. It's not expected to be distributed until the end of the year. Possibly the beginning of 2021. Let's just hope it's quicker than Cross Rail. Now, what the heck is happening on your side of the globe people ? The BBC seemed to be falling apart since they were going to make the over 75s pay for their TV licence. They have run a poll (not the BBC) but there has been a poll run 61% of you would like to see that license scrapped. The UK is the only country in the world, where you need a license for your TV. That's crazy. Lord Hill retired last week and the corporation has been taken over by Tim Davie, and they're now talking about scrapping the TV licence, and replacing it with a house tax. So, does that mean that every household in the UK, will have to pay this regardless of whether they own a television or not ? I mean come on BBC  put adverts on, raise some revenue, nobody cares ! Besides, it gives us all a chance to go make a cup of tea or turn the oven down or go to the loo. It's absolutely nuts. The BBC does have a private company too, BBC studios, which is quite capable of earning money commercially, so it's outrageous that it makes you pay 157, pounds to watch rubbish and sometimes slanted erroneous news, and I gotta tell you, according to OfCom, Al Jazeera has better ratings and reputation for the news. Now I bet that shocks you, the rules, apparently, are if you watch tv live or record a live program, you need a license. If you watch from a tablet device, or an iPad, this is covered by your home license but if you plug that device into a wall to watch your tv live if you don't have a TV. You then need a license for your iPad or Android device. What is this madness ? In this already crazy world. They are supposedly taking 3000 people to court, every week for not paying their license fees and spending ridiculous amounts of your license fee money to chase the over 75´s. I'm afraid to say this but the world of technology has changed, and the BBC is becoming a bit of a dinosaur. They seem to forget that these days. We have a choice of how we watch television. For example, if you just want to watch Netflix and you have a subscription to Netflix. You are entitled to do that and you don't need a TV licence. There you go, BBC go to a subscription, then the people that want the service can pay for the service and if not, cut them off. That's what the other services do just cut them off as the Meerkat say simples. Now I heard a bizarre story this week about some man cutting his ears off, and paying 6000 pounds, according to the Daily Mirror for the pleasure of doing this. Why ? but he's a tattoo addict. He's had his ears removed which is now keeping in a jar, because he wants his head to look more like a skull WHY ?   Sandro, who is known as Mr Skull Face on social media insists that even though people call him sick. It's transformed his appearance and made him more confident. He's currently unemployed and not in a relationship. Are we surprised ? hmm

 

The 39 year old from Germany has undergone 17 body modifications people. This includes having foreign implants forearm implants, the back of his hand he's got implants, as well as having his tongue split. Oh, I hate that I hate that That to me is completely vile, his ears were the removed in 2019. He's now planning on cutting off his nose, you cant make this up, cutting the tip of his nose off and having his eyeballs tattooed. He said that this decision to change his body in such a drastic way comes from the heart as opposed to any desire to look cool. I'm sorry I think you've just absolutely lost your noodle mate. He said his extreme body modifications was ignited in 2007 when he saw somebody else have spikes putting their head. No kidding. No kidding. Right. Finally, I would like to finish on a story that I find a little bit Karma and I thought totally hilarious. Now, I don't know if you remember the hate preacher Abu Hamza. You know the guy from the Finsbury Park Mosque. That was preaching terrorism with the hooks on the end of his arms, he was imprisoned for a while in the UK and then he was extradited to the USA. He's now complaining that his human rights are being violated, because he is having to eat kosher food. Palm face,  absolute surprise shock horror. He even went on a 14 day hunger strike. Well, let's be honest this guy could do with shedding a few pounds. Anyway, he's having to eat kosher food, which I can tell you from experience hallal meat is exactly the same as kosher meat, you really couldn't make this up. He is also complaining that his hooks have been taken away from him. Mate, you're in prison, you could harm somebody with those, you could take your own life with those of course they're gonna take them away from you and then on top of it always says that when he turns the taps on to wash in  his cell. It's making his stumps sore. Now this is where I got to apologize and say, I'm really sorry folks. I don't want to sound politically incorrect. I do not want to offend anybody. I don't care what caste, creed or color you are good, I hope, Abu Hamza you suffer for the longest time to come in your American jail cell. After all the terrorist atrocities that went down. I'm sorry, I've got no sympathy for you. I hope I haven't offended anyone I really, really do. I think people are people just that we should all be kind to others and let's just live our lives and enjoy it. Anyway, that's it for this week. That's my rant. Until next week. Have a good one, much love from the Costa del Sol, Hasta Luego

Hi everyone, its Michelle, Essex bird here, reporting to you this week's installments of what's been happening here on the Costa del Sol, and let me tell you first of all it's been another very very hot, humid week.

 

I for one I love the sun but I for one will be glad when things start cooling down because it is getting a little bit intolerable now.  Anyway,  we've had a few happenings here. No major rules from the government have come out this week, but bars without food licenses are having to close. If you are a bar and you don't have a food license.

That's it. 

You're done, so a lot of the bars have closed which is kind of a shame because there are a lot of places here that have closed down and it's really, really looking sad. So, if you've got food license you're okay. You can stay open until 1 am, but the last customers as I said to you last week have to be in by 12 o'clock and the other thing that came in was, they've closed brothels. What a surprise ! I didn't even know, I must be so naive. I didn't even know they had so many brothels here, and I had no idea where they are.

 And I've got absolutely no knowledge on brothels, but I'm kind of wondering, how would you social distance in a brothel. It makes absolutely no sense I thought they would have been closed like from the very beginning, but hey, I'm not running the country. We did have a bit of a sad event this week at 6am last Friday morning. The SISU boutique hotel in Puerto Banus, Marbella went up in flames.

Now I'm sure some of you probably saw footage of it. I don't know if it was reported on the news, the SISU is a luxurious hotel, which a lot of celebrities stay

The rooms range from about 200 euros that's about 180 pounds a night, and, unfortunately, it caught on fire, and it took 10 fire engines and 45 firefighters to finally get it under control, and the blaze took three hours for them to do so and for me the scary thing really was seeing guests climbing out their balconies on the outside of the buildingwhere they've got like this ornamental facade, trying to make their way to safety on the ground. Now according to the news here. There was only one fatality. He was a French tourist he hasn't been named yet. Several people were injured, but they were mainly treated for smoke inhalation.

 

Now, as bad as that is it could have been a whole lot worse because that hotel, I think has about 112 rooms, and they were quite close to full occupancy. So, and it's been there a long time. So I do wish the SISU well I'm glad that everybody got out safely.

 

Also, this week.

 

Marbella and Nerja are closing their beaches at 930 at night.

 

Now the reason they're doing this is, once again, it's the young people that are being attracted to the beach to late night party, and it's become the alternative to nightclubs, this is now the new venue. Let's go to the beach.

So, Nerja to Marbella have decided that, as of this week, as of Monday, the beaches are now closed after 930. The aim of the province of Andalusia is to stop people going to the beach late at night and getting bladdered so that they won't make a mockery of the social distancing, which seems to be slowly disappearing with the tourists and I might add, at this point that this is getting up the noses of some of the residents here, both Spanish and English alike, are getting a little bit fed up with this because we have had one of the strictest, if not THE strictest locked down in all of Europe and it seems to be the younger 20s to 30s group that seem to think they're invincible, and try flouting the law, which I might add, is not a good thing to do here. The police do not look kindly on it, and they are out handing fines to people that are not wearing masks. Now  on a lighter note and to my surprise, we have a shopping center in Marbella and it's called La Canada and I always thought it was a little bit you know sort of up market. They were the first or the only to get Marks and Spencers and we all went crazy when they got Marks and Spencer's, and everybody went up there even though the food Hall is like negligible. It's still Marks and Spencers. They now have got a license for Primark. I'm really shocked Primark in La Canada. Now after years of hand tying red tape, they finally got the approval to open in 2021. I think they started like campaigning for this in 2014 it's taken this long to get it going but they now say, it will take six months to build, depending on the COVID situation here. It's going to cost 11 million euros, and it will generate 300, new jobs, which I might add is really badly needed here on the Costa del Sol, I mean, we've had a Primark in Fuengirola for years and it seems to be really popular with the Spanish, and the English. I mean I gotta say, Who doesn't love a pair of fluffy pajamas. Now, moving on. I'm going to Gibraltar Gibraltar is about 45 minutes away from me by car and they came out ruled last Friday that everyone over the age of 11 must wear a mask in all shops and stores. Now the staff are already required to do so. I found this interesting, because of the reason, they say they are tightening their restrictions, due to young people who have been socializing, on the Costa del Sol this summer. Now that's what I've just told you about. So, local residents in Gibraltar are concerned that there are far too many people not social distancing. So as of now, if you are 11 or over, you must wear a mask in all shops and stores. Now on the subject of masks. I came across a very interesting story. There is an Israeli jeweler, who is selling a gold Corona virus mask. You can get one if you like. For a mere $1.5. million dollars. The 18 karat gold, white gold,  white gold. We've got to be classy. The 18 karat white gold mask will be decorated with 3,600, white and black diamonds and fitted with the top rated N99 filters, at the request of the buyer and this was reported by the designer Isaac levy, here now, you know, I'm having trouble wearing a mask in this heat, and we are all required to do so, you know, but this is something else. Levy the owner of this company said that the buyer had two demands. One that it'd be completed by the end of the year. And two, that it would be the priciest mask in the world. Why ?? I have no clue as to why, I think people have got more money than sense. He's declined to identify the buyer, but he did say he's a Chinese businessman, living in the United States. Now, the glitzed up facemask may lend some bling to the ordinary protective gear that we're all used to, but at 270 grams. Now that's over half a pound in weight. It's nearly 100 times heavier than the surgical mask that you are probably wearing now. So for me in this heat, no thank you. I'm not going for one who says money doesn't buy you everything ?? Yeah. How crazy is that ?? 

Anyway. Finally, I'm going to leave you on a happy note. And that is, this event happened in Switzerland, it's not even here but I gotta tell you about it. There was a Swiss town coated in cocoa powder after a factory glitch.  Residents of the Swiss town, got a bit of a shock when it started snowing particles of a fine cocoa powder from the ventilation system at the Chocolate Factory, which malfunctioned. Now you know Lindt the ones that make those cute little chocolate bunnies. Well they confirmed that there had been a minor defect in their cooling ventilation, and they're roasted "cocoa nibs" which sound absolutely delicious.....in its factory in Olton and that's that's between Zurich, and Basal. The "Nibs" are fragments of crushed cocoa beans and are the basis of chocolate, well combined with a strong winds on Friday morning. The powder spread around the  the immediate vicinity of the factory, leaving a fine cocoa dusting on everything and they say that the ventilation system has now been repaired. The company said that one car was lightly coated, and that it had offered to pay for the cleaning of the car, but as of yet the owner of the car hasn't taken up the offer. I bet they haven't !! If it was me, I'd be out there licking the Windows as well. I would become a window licker for sure. Anyway, I'm going to leave you on that note, that's my bits and bobs we'll do this for this week or next week everyone have a really great one. Be kind to each other. Stay safe and Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

Hi guys, it's Michelle Essex bird, bringing you this week's installment from the Costa del Sol, and like you, we've had a few changes here too. Now I know that you now have to quarantine for two weeks now when you come back from France Malta, and the Netherlands, as well as they announced a couple of weeks ago from Spain and Portugal as well as other countries. So, some rules came in sort of overnight here last Friday as well and the rules are concerning smoking and nightlife. Now, there is a smoking ban that came in in Galicia and the Canary Islands, where you are not allowed to smoke in the street or in public places, unless you can maintain a two meter distance from the person you are near. Now I know all your non smokers are jumping up and down for joy and thinking, thank God I can go out to eat, and nobody on the next table is going to be puffing away and I get that I really do get that and I know that when I go out. If I'm going to have a cigarette I will get up and leave the table. I respect people's rights. I will move away, but I cant help wondering if our freedom is being taken away from us. So, that happened this Friday also nightlife. As far as bars wine bars, clubs with entertainment, nightclubs are closed down but clubs weren't seen anything like that. They now have to close at 1am in the morning. If you wish to visit that establishment, you have to be inside by midnight, if you are not inside by midnight. They do not, or will not allow you to enter that establishment. So, you've got to be in by 12 o'clock. Now I get it, I understand they're trying to keep us all safe I do get it but then again, they open up Bowling Alleys and Casinos. Now, Bowling Alleys I find that really really weird because you go to a bowling alley and we don't all have our own gear, you wear other people's shoes. You put your fingers into balls that other people have had their fingers in. This is what I started out like last week's podcast, here we are back home balls and what you can handle. I know they're sanitized I know it's all disinfected but for me, there's no desire to go put somebody else's shoes on and handle somebody else's, somebody else's bowling balls. That's what I wanted to make a point of now Casinos,  Casinos I don't get that at all, because I come from a casino background. And I worked as a Croupier for four years.  Now, Blackjack, I can understand the social distancing because you only open every other box on the table. So I get that completely, with a few things. If you are on a Roulette table and you are at the end of the Roulette table, and you want to put a chip on number three. You either have to stretch across that table, which means you stretching across people, walking around those people, or passing the chip to the dealer to place on that number for you. So you are now, passing plastic and passing money to a person behind the table who's putting this down the, the money goes down inside the table and passing the plastic chips to you. So, I don't get how the whole hand sanitizing thing and casinos and social distancing are really going to work out but hey it's not my rules. I just tell you what's going on. Now, the next subject is something I think us Brits are all guilty of and this is another one of those things like the postcard issue last year. Last week, sorry.

 

If we're going on a long haul flight. Hands up, who hasn't packed a snack in their bag ? I bet, none of you. We've all done it. We have all done it. You're going on that long haul flight, and in go the crisps, in go the sweets in go the sandwiches and the sausage rolls. Because let's face it, airports are extremely expensive. And then once you get on the flight. You're a captive audience, and they can overcharge as well so a lot of people do actually pack their own food on long haul flights, believe it or not and then once you get through passport and all that security and get departure lounge. You can then pick up a drink. So there's this one guy, which I thought was absolutely ingenious really. He has gone on board and wrapped up he's got a slice of pizza and during the journey, he decides that he fancies his bit of pizza but he doesn't want it cold, so he turns on the overhead light. You know the one we all turn on to read. And he warms his pizza underneath the light, now I thought that was quite funny and I thought was quite ingenious. However, the moment was captured by fellow passengers sitting in the row behind and shared on social media its called passenger shaming I think has become the new thing like keyboard trolling, you know, if you can take a video of somebody doing something they shouldn't. You can put it out there for everybody to see.  I'm sorry I don't think this guy ruined anybody's holiday by pulling this pizza out personally. Good luck to him I thought it was absolutely ingenious idea. Personally I'm not a pizza person but I'm sure he enjoyed eating it. The last story I want to get to you today is Brooklyn Beckham, now Brooklyn Beckham got engaged to this beautiful girl called Nicola Peltz 25 years old, I believe and because Victoria and David hold OBEs they are eligible to host their son's wedding in St Paul's Cathedral and they are looking to do just that and it's the same spot that Princess Diana and Prince Charles took their vows back in 1981 and this is from a report in the Sun, and the showbiz couple, I mean, you know, like them or hate them. They made their money, they came from nowhere. They made the money and if they can afford to host a wedding at St Paul's Cathedral. Good luck to em, you know, if that's their choice. I don't understand how they want to have a private affair because I thought that St. Paul's Cathedral was a public space. And I don't think you're allowed to stop the public from going to a public space. Now I think if that's the case, there's going to be absolute pandemonium in London, because I remember what it was like, I'm not suggesting they're the same but I remember what it was like when Princess Diana and Prince Charles got married, because that's when I was working in the West End and I came off of my shift and I was unable to drive home to sleep. So, I think, London will be an absolute nightmare but hey Brooklyn and Nicola Good luck to you.  Now Nicholas parents are from the United States and they are having another wedding in the United States. God only knows what they're gonna book. I mean it's a bit you know, they're they are wealthy, their parents are wealthy in their own right. Who knows, maybe they'll book the White House. Absolutely incredible, absolutely incredible that people have that amount of money but you wouldn't want to keep up with the Joneses on that one would you.  Anyway, that's all my gossip and news for this week. I hope everybody has an absolutely fantastic week. Go out there and enjoy yourselves. Please stay safe, hugs from Costa del Sol.  Hasta luego till next week............Tara peeps.

Hi guys it's Michelle from the Costa del Sol bringing you this week's updates on what's been happening. and what's been on my mind and I've got a few things to chat to you about today. You'll notice I dropped the Essex part in my broadcast today because the very first story is a little bit embarrassing for us from Essex I have to say. We had some lads land here in Malaga airport from Essex, who were arrested for not wearing masks. The Police wasted no time at all getting straight to the arrival’s hall, apparently, other passengers said that they knew they were going to be problems on the flight, when they boarded the stewardesses did actually import reported to the captain. And he was informed by that time it was too late to turn the plane around. And so, the plane had to progress on to Malaga airport where the police were at waiting and cabin crews had to give a statement. And you know, it was just, it was just absolutely dire I mean really, guys. You do know, let me tell you these guys are absolute idiots. You do not go up to a cop in the airport and say "me have no mask made me English tourist. We will bring mucho dosh to Spain. Where is nearest bar o”? Well, the cop spoke perfect English, and the next thing you know is there in the police van being hauled away, so they've spent the weekend in a jail. They are up in court today which is Monday here while I'm doing this broadcast. And they will find out if A. they're going to get a massively huge fine. Or if B. they're going to get a massively huge fine, and also get deported from the country, which I think should happen because I think that's like totally disrespectful, especially during this time. You know, so, you know, "Me no have o Masko". No no no no no worst thing you can say to a cop Let me tell you. Secondly, there happened here this week, which I actually take glee in to be honest with you. We had a Matador in Cadiz, which is just up the coast from us a little bit got rammed up the jacksie by dying Bull. Now, his name is Enrique Ponce, which I think is quite an apt name, to be fair, this poor dying bull in his last seconds, managed to ram his horns into his tormentors’ buttocks. Good for the bull that's why I say, I think it's an absolutely dreadful sport. Me and along with, you know, along with loads and loads of Spanish people would love to see this sport stopped. It's only the older generation that see it as a tradition. Most people in Spain, to be fair, would like to see the end of bullfighting. It is a totally cruel and unnecessary sport. And it's a shame that they still practice it here in some places in Spain. Some places it has actually been outlawed, but obviously Cadiz not being one of those places. And then we've got another happening on the coast. King Juan Carlos has decided to. Well let's take as let's say take a short or a long break in Abu Dhabi. In, the United Arab Emirates. So he's left King Philippe here to handle the collateral damage. Yes, it's corruption. What else could it be. It's just a shame the people in that power, feel the need to take the money away from people who really need it, that really guts me. The monarchy here doesn’t get anything like the monarchy there in the UK. They're not given the wealth that they are given there. However, they are taken care of very very well, their transportation or everything they do is taken care of by the Spanish, so they don't have a bad life. You know, they do have quite a distance, you know, a

 

public life, but they are just figureheads just like are you, Queen really to be honest with you. They are there to bring money into the country, not to take money off the country so yeah that's a bit disappointing. Now, I think the next subject could upset a few people because I can be a bit controversial and I got to say how it is, and I am really starting to find myself agreeing with Katie Hopkins. I think that the UK, I think the world is becoming a little bit too PC, I think our language. It's being sanitised. You've got, the you know the white privileged here and the Black Lives Matter movement there and why do we have to have all this. Why can't we all just get along together, and everything be fair for everybody is just such a shame that we have this division and I think it's causing more separation, than it is bringing people together. I mean, she was talking about. Cliff Richard, getting a 2 million payout. After he sued the BBC. Now, they say the BBC paid the 2 million. The BBC did not pay the 2 million. The license payer’s money paid the 2 million. Is that fair that they now want to charge the over 75 for a TV license. You know, in, in their lives, that TV is a lifeline to them. and they've built this country and worked in this country and payed taxes all their lives in the UK. I think when they get to a certain age, I think the BBC should really pull up their big boy pants and go you know what our pensioners deserve a bit better and, yeah, they'll pay the TV license all their life. Let's give it to the over 75 so that's my opinion. Katie Hopkins. She's Marmite she's Marmite you either like her or you don't like. But I got to say she's been doing some parodies on YouTube, where she dresses up as Megan Markel which you know is another favorite subject of mine, and I got to say I'm finding those rather amusing. So, yeah, this time I'm going to give Katie how Katie Hopkins a hats off because actually I do agree with her. Now, the last bit of news I'm going to bring to is, a bit of a shocker, I only found out the other day I don't know some of you may know, but I'm a big fan of. "I'm a celebrity Get me out of here” I’m sure a lot of you out there watch it and apparently this year. It's going to be held in a castle in Wales. Um, yeah, my thoughts on that, I mean it's one thing being in a rainforest in Australia isn’t it, but it's something else being in a sodden wet Castle in Wales, not the Wales is bad, Wales is a beautiful country. But I think they filmed this in like November time, so I don't think they're going to be guaranteed. You know, and who knows, maybe I'll be a little bit more upmarket than the jungle but apparently according to Lady C,  Lady Colin Campbell, she was saying that it's going to be held in the Castle in Wales this year and another thing she said was, all the insects and the critters are all cleaned and therefore made safe from disease because obviously they can't have the several celebrities catching things, but I never knew that. And I'm thinking, who'd have the job of cleaning 50,000 cockroaches. Thank you. One of those on my kitchen floor is enough. You know I can I can definitely live without those. So with that in mind, I'm going to leave you this week. I hope you will have a fabulous fabulous week, please please everybody Stay safe, and until next week. Hasta luego from the Costa Del Sol.

Hola mis  amigos, it's Essex here with another update on this week's antics on the Costa del Sol, well, if I said to you, it was hot out here.

 That would be a grossly misrepresented understatement. My God is absolutely baking. Ah Saturday night. Hubby, and I went off to meet friends for drinks and a meal. And we left here about seven o'clock in the evening. And I got into my car, and the temp gauge was showing 48 degrees. I kid you not !! 48, degrees. We are currently experiencing a hot winds here from the Sahara at the moment. So the temperatures here have gone absolutely crazy and ballistic. Okay, so we go out for friends you know with friends for dinner. And I made the reservation. And I'm guessing that Indian really wasn't probably the best choice of the week but I didn't think it was gonna be this hot. Now, I like things really hot food wise. I love a good chili. I even grow my own habanero peppers but we get to this restaurant, melting, like the witch from the Wizard of Oz, and we're now asking the waiter. What's the coolest thing that you've got on the menu. Can you imagine doing that in an Indian restaurant what's not hot. I got to say they were brilliant they were really helpful. We had a great night The food was fantastic. We've got some really fab restaurants here. The food was almost as good as the wine I've got to say the wine was very, very good. Oh and the alcohol hand sanitizer We mustn't forget the alcohol hand sanitizer. Anyway, in between meetings and other activities I've been involved in this week. I must admit I've spent a lot my time working from my house because of the air conditioning. It's just the only place to keep cool or in the pool. Now the pools like bathwater but at least it provides some sort of relief. The sea temps here are fab at the moment. And usually this time of year they can still be a bit sort of fresh. But even the sea is warmer. And yes, we have tourists on the beach. And I have to say that people are out there enjoying their holidays while social distancing.

So, all is well here on the coast. Our numbers are still really really low on the Costa del Sol, and we're all feeling perfectly safe. Everybody is abiding to everything. So, as they say on the postcards. "Wish you were here"  Postcards ?  Does anybody send postcards anymore ? Do you remember when you used to go on holiday, and you'd send postcards to all your mates and stuff and your, your family telling them what a fantastic time you were having how great the food was and then you'd arrive back in the UK. And that's another thing every time you rock back in the UK the doors of the plane would open it would be peeing down with rain, but you arrive back in the UK. And then the cards arrive about three days after you. Oh, Happy Days. I've had a fair bit of entertainment from Facebook this week to be fair. They really grabbed er put out a couple of things that have grabbed my attention, one being..... Us British, we love to complain about the weather, all year round. It doesn't matter whether it's the British living in the UK, or the British living in Spain. Everybody's posting on Facebook, they're either swooning in the heat, and you've got the. "Oh god, it's so hot here. It's sweltering" and you see other people putting up things like "Is it just me or does anybody else have their heating on in July, asking for a friend". Then winter comes round and we're like "Fab day out in December having lunch in the sunshine" and then the other mob are going "Hate scraping the ice off my windscreen in the morning to go to work".

 

Go on, admit it. We are all guilty, it's defo a British thing. It defo is it's got a be. Then this week we've had the odd few that have kind of gone keyboard commando in the last week. They've really upped their game, and decided to make it their mission, in this day and age, to wind everybody up. They're aggressive belligerent, they know everything. You know the type. I mean me myself I can't be bothered with it I just scroll past I think there's enough stress in our lives, you know, do we need it on social media. Sometimes I am tempted though to tell them what morons I think they really are. But I can't see why people feel the need to cyber bully it's just so cowardly. It's times like these, we should be pulling together not pulling people down. Anyway, changing the subject. I notice something else. If already you felt like 2020 hasn't brought you

 

enough grief. I noticed that a lot of people in the UK are posting on Facebook about flying ants. Now it's starting to sound like you've had this this plague out like the biblical 10 plagues of flying ants. So I did a bit of research, which I always do. And I came across a picture, and it looked like a rain cloud that was drifting across Kent, London, and the Southeast. But people, that is no rain cloud. It was flying ants. And apparently, there were so many of them one day last week, they were actually messing with the weather radar. So for those of you in the UK, that have had to endure these little beggars. You have my sympathy. I remember what it was like when I lived there. Here we just seem to have like the regular ants that appear from nowhere. You know there's like no beginning no end. They're trying to move the entire dog food bowl across the kitchen floor, or sometimes it's a battalion of a marching from the front door through the hallway to good knows where or goodness knows where even. And it's always first thing in the morning when you get up and head into the kitchen for that first hit caffeine, That lovely cup of coffee first thing in the morning. Thank God. These things don't fly. The other thing I've got admit  I've got bit engrossed with, is the royal family now.... I've really not been a royalist for a long time, but I am finding myself really feeling sorry for Her Majesty the Queen.  I mean boy has that poor woman got a load on her plate. And I'm not talking ants between her gone rogue surfer... sorry sofa surfing grandson who seems to be so miserable under the Markel thumb. And there's her that is suing everyone in sight. Even little Archie has his own lawsuit now. I mean, for goodness sakes, what is he like 18 months old. Sadly, there's a rift between brothers William and Harry, and they've always been there for each other and so close, especially after what happened to Princess Diana. And then you've got the book Finding Freedom. Finding freedom from exactly what I've got no idea what a privileged life, a life for servants and staff and. Come on, Meghan, you cannot say you did not know what you were getting into because you were briefed, Harry told you and there is a photo of you sitting outside Buckingham Palace, many years ago when you were younger, so you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into and then the other stories that are circulating regarding Ghislaine Maxwell and her close association with Prince Andrew amongst others. Personally, I have Liz kicks them all to the curb. In my opinion, they're all a disgrace. They are bringing the British monarchy into disrepute and disrepute. And I feel really sorry So, God bless her.

Right, one other piece of news I want to bring you on the upside. I told you a story. A few weeks ago about Microsoft /Amazon scammers, and a guy called Pierogi from Scammer Payback, who by the way has a very very well supported channel on YouTube, as well as other platforms and on there you can see him mess with the scammers and their computers, whilst he's trying to be a 79 year old woman victim.

 

And he also tries to save a lot of victims, and he hands their files to the police and the authorities. Now this is happening all over the world by the way America,  Britain and Australia, being the biggest victims of everybody. But we've even had them here in Spain. You know the nuisance calls, the dodgy emails we all hate, you may have seen a documentary on TV recently I believe BBC aired one. People are scammed out of thousands on a daily basis by people working in boiler rooms. Anyway, you're wondering what's the good news. Pierogi has been in touch with me this week, and he has agreed to chat with me sometime this month. And honestly, this is one interview, you will not want to miss it will open your eyes to the other side of that Scammers call. He's a top bloke. He lives on the east coast of Americam and believe me, he is like a cyber superhero.

 Right. On that note, I'm going to leave you. Until next week. I hope you all have great weather there in the UK. I hope it bloody cools down here a bit in Spain. I wish you all well have a fab week. Stay safe peeps. And as always. Hasta luego from the Costa del Sol.

Michelle 

week, fab, costa del sol, hot, scammers, uk, pierogi, ants, feel, friends, spain, defo, postcards, disrepute, british, victims, rain, life, cyber, close

Hola funky media listeners, it's Michelle Essex once again, reporting in from the Costa Del Sol. And there's been a few things happening this week. I gotta say one thing. It's very, very hot here folks, you wouldn't believe it. It is about 36 degrees at this moment. And we are absolutely dripping here. Now, this brings me into I'm having a bit of a rant today, I've got to say, because we got news over the weekend, that if you were coming to Spain on holiday, upon return from your holiday in Spain, you would then have to quarantine for 14 days. Now, I'm sorry, but I find that absolutely ridiculous. I don't know what they're telling you on news. Well, I do know what they're telling you on the news, actually. Please stop watching the news. That's what I'm going to say because they are not reporting things as they are. I heard last time Night on a major news channel that because of the problems in mainland Spain, this is why you're having to quarantine. Let me tell you, the only problems that are going on in mainland Spain are up in the north in Aragon. Places like Zaragozza,  Lleida, they had put them back into phase two. And Barcelona, they're having some problems as far as Benidorm, places like that the Costa del Sol where I am, there are no problems at all. We have very, very low virus numbers. Our numbers are much lower than the UK. So why they are getting you to quarantine. I have absolutely no idea but hey, What I don't get is. Last week they say to you, right, you'll have to wear face masks as of next Friday. They didn't bring that in over 24 hours. But the quarantine suddenly caught everybody right off guard. I know And people that are out here at the moment that are having a lovely holiday. They've now been forced to fly back to the UK. And when you save up all year for a holiday, that does seem a bit, you know a bit. Well, it's upsetting, isn't it? I mean, Take for instance where I am on the Costa del Sol. There is a beautiful town down the road to me called La Cala de Mijas. Now the La Cala de Mijas used to be a beautiful fishing village. Now it is a lovely seaside town with some of the most fantastic restaurants I've got to say that you will go to the food is absolutely phenomenal. The beach is beautiful. They are not overcrowded, which is another point I want to make last night on a social platform.

 

I saw photographs of supposedly beaches here in the Costa del Sol, those were actually stock photos that the Daily Mail put out last year so None of that is true. I am telling you what's going on here. I live here. The beaches are manageable and everybody's keeping their distance.

 

People are wearing masks. If you go to a restaurant, as I said to you last week, you only have to wear the mask when you get to your table. Once you're eating and drinking, you don't have to wear the mask. You get up to go to the bathroom, you pop the mask on, and you pop back to your table. Everyone's adhering to it everybody sanitising my god, the alcohol that we're going through here in this house, but now on our hands alone is just unbelievable. So sorry to start my podcast off this week with a rant.

 

But I thought it was just a bit unfair that they were giving you one side but they're not actually giving you the true story of what is happening here on the Costa del Sol and we don't have the Magaluf problem either. They've closed the whole strip down in Magaluf in Majorca because of the drunken louts, I dont want to point fingers, but unfortunately we do get them. But there has been no behaviour like that here reported at all. And everything here, as I said, clean, friendly. I really, really hope that you guys can get out for a holiday. Now, the next thing is I told you last week I was having a meeting with a certain channel that did a reality show that I did last year. And I met them on Friday, I met the Casting Director and I met the the Seriies Producer. And we had a wonderful chat. And it looks like I will be back on the programme this year. I cannot tell you much more than that. What they told me is obviously at the moment confidential, I'm not sure how they're going to get around the whole mask thing though after talking to them. I mean, it could end up being a load of all Brits well you thought I was going to say something else didnt you ? , No, I was gonna say Brits, Brits looking like DicK Turpin in glasses and face coverings. Maybe they'll call it bargain loving Brits in masks. Who knows, I know that they're trying to stay away from that particular subject. So we will see how it all comes out. And I'll let you know you guys know how things go with that. The other trial and tribulation I've had this week is I had to get used to Varifocal lenses, and Varifocal glasses. And that's been a bit of a bit of a dichotomy for me because I didn't realise that coming down the stairs. Don't look down. You know, when you look down in Varifocals, the ground suddenly starts weaving up and down, you think now this is not a good idea. I'm just going to look straight ahead. So I picked up my Varifocal glasses and I popped him Varifocal lenses. And it's taken me a few days to get used to it. But I am getting there. Originally I had some close up distance great far away distance great Man, I could see a bus coming from two miles away now. It was just the things in the middle were a little bit hazy, but we're past that point. We've moved on and all is going well with the Varifocal lenses. Now of course, I can't leave you this week without something lighthearted. So as you know, I like to scroll through news stories. And I came across this story in India. That did make me giggle a bit, even though I'm sure the poor chap wasn't giggling at the time, but it seems that doctors removed a two foot phone charger from the inside of a man's bladder. Yeah, that's what I said. a two foot phone charger. Now, this 30 year old guy goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pains, no doubt. And the doc thinks he has swalloed and, they take x rays and the doc thinks that he swallowed it. Apparently the man has a history of accidental ingestion. I don't know how you get a history of accidental ingestion. I must admit the only thing I've ingested has been edible I cant say I've ever taken up you know, eating  headphones or phone chargers, or I don't see the nourishment, or any of the goodness in them. So, anyway, this guy has a habit of or a history of accidental ingestion. So the gave him laxatives for two days to relieve the pain before they operated, and then they discovered the lead in his gastro in I can never say Gastrointer ....No, No, you know the one in his gastro tract,  five medics perform this forty five minute surgery. And then they said they're not sure about his mental health. I don't think I'd be too sure about his mental health either if he was eating phone charges to be fair. Anyway spent the night in hospital three days, spending the night and the days in hospital. And he's fully recovered, I'm glad to say and god knows what he'll eat next. Who knows? I could be bringing you that story next week. But until then, have a fabulous week, stay safe.

 

don't rule out Spain.

 

Hasta Luego from the Costa Del Sol.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

costa del sol, quarantine, week, spain, beaches, mask, phone charger, brits, days, reporting, holiday, coming, problems, beautiful, eating, glasses, point, doctor, accidental ingestion, stomach pains

Airing Wednesday 12pm BST 13Hrs CET and 7pm/8pm 

Hi Funky Media Listeners, I´m now 5 weeks into my podcasts “Moments from the Costa Del Sol” and I hope you are enjoying them as much as I am making them for you.  If you have any suggestions or information from or about Spain that you´d like to know I´d be interested to hear your opinions. Don´t be shy……lol.   I will also add be adding some interviews to my Podcasts at a later date once things settle down in my part of the world. 

My show consists of life and happenings here on the Costa del Sol, Spain as well as any other crazy, zany news stories from around the world that I come across that make me giggle that I think would be fun to share with you guys. 

It´s my aim to bring you something a little bit different, a little bit quirky, light hearted and sometimes a bit controversial.  I can be quite outspoken and my opinions are strictly my own and I only use stories that are already out there on the public domain. 

So, tune in to my spot, we´ll have a laugh and hopefully you will be entertained.

Big safe hugs from the Costa del Sol

Michelle

My name is Michelle Johnstone, and I'm coming to you from the Casa Del Sol in Spain. I am super excited to be here with you do my first broadcast. And I can't wait to start telling you all sorts of different things. Plus, I have some interviews lined up with some very interesting people. So stay tuned for that. But I thought I would start by introducing myself and giving you a little bit of my background. I started my life as a Playboy bunny at the London Playboy Club in Mayfair, which I'm very proud of, but we'll get to that another time.

I do have an aka essex bird that goes back through my years on the radio here in Spain for a variety of different stations. It also may give you a very big idea as to where I hail from Essex Nah, London, I'm a towie transplant. Anyway, this year I had the pleasure of taking part in a popular TV show. That was a lot of fun, had an absolute scream doing it. And hopefully I'll be making an appearance on next season show and their Christmas special Fingers crossed, but I'll divulge that to you later as well. I own a small business here on the Costa del Sol. I provide the bespooke awnings, lines, mosquito screens, as well as some other products. The name of my company is Ace of shades. Brilliant name, huh.

But I don't want to make this broadcast into commercial. What I want to do is bring you snippets of real life on the Casa Del Sol and the things that happen here when you're a resident. Now this may involve the odd celebrity that you might have seen on TV in the UK, that are currently here because they do come here and look about

After all people love theCosta del Sol. I've had a lot of strange jobs. I've lived in a variety of different places. And over time, I'll tell you about that. But today I want to tell you about something completely different. that's affecting a lot of us here in Spain, which I'm calling locked down lazy itis. Now, I think a lot of the ladies might relate to this one. locked down in Spain. It's been really tough. It's been 12 or 13 weeks now. And thankfully, Spain is now waking up slowly. So the girls and I decide as we're now allowed to do a girly lunch as you do.

I have lounged around for weeks in Pyjamas and clothes that I wouldn't be seen getting out on the street. And now I have to get ready for my first social engagement. So I pick out a nice comfortable summer dress because the weather here of course is lovely now For the last, you know, first seven weeks of isolation, it just peed down. But now the weather's lovely. Got my dress, and I turn on the shower. Oh my god, shock horror. How can a woman grow so much hair in so few weeks? I need a strimmer for my legs, let alone a razor. Anywhere manage the shower and the washing of the hair without any drama. And then I've got to put on makeup. Makeup. I haven't worn any in weeks.

So I'm desperately trying to make a straight line with my eyeliner and remove the mana brow that has suddenly appeared when slowly and surely I get ready. And it's time now to negotiate the hair dryer in the straightness. Now I gotta say, suddenly, this lunch date is running into to two and a half hours of pre faffing and it's taking me ages. To get ready So, anyway, I'm done. I'm good. I'm ready to go and thank the gods. they've picked a restaurant within walking distance of my house. What a stroke of luck. Now any woman knows, you never leave home without European. Forget that. I gotta wear a mask. I guess I could always put the lip on the outside and embrace my blindness. But I decided not to do that. So cometh the hour cometh the newly D haired woman ready for lunch? It's 28 degrees outside and I am wearing the latest fashion in facemask, purple rubber gloves, and sunglasses. I look like I'm about to perform a rectal examination on the wine waiter instead of going to lunch. So I arrive at the venue and I meet the girls and when you can imagine the excitement. We haven't seen each other in ages and now We've got a big decision to make. Do we elbow bump? Do we touch hands and sanitised immediately? Can I just add at this point over the last 12 or 13 weeks, my hands have absorbed more alcohol than I've drunk in a lifetime. The only one result is there's no hangover behind Joe. Anyway, we all decided to rip off our face masks and we recklessly hug each other. We will get seated. And we're away. except we're living the new norm. So there's no menus, there's no table class. There's just what they call a QR code on the table. Now, you scan this with your smartphone, and the menu appears on your screen. Unless you're a troglodyte, who still has a Nokia phone, in which case you're going to be out of luck. So we ate we drink copious amounts of wine. laughs took the back legs off the back of a donkey And we had a really great afternoon, we really did have a giggle from what I can remember. No, that was just a joke. I'm a hand Jelacic now. My point is, I guess it's time to get up from this lockdown lazy itis and support our local restaurants and businesses, because God knows they need it. And of course, we're looking forward to welcoming tourists back to the coast.

Although I have to say the parking here has been amazing. But we've got to get back to this new normal life, whatever that may be. locked down lazy itis has set in for some people. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. And to quote a young girl named Dorothy Gale, there's no place like home. So until next time, keep positive. Stay safe and love from sunny Spain. Hasta llwego! 

Cath yo unext week at 11am on Funky Media Radio :)