Michelle AKA Essex Bird "6 minutes on the Costa de

Hola Funky Media listeners. Well it all started with a lockdown and here we all are a year later, who would believe I'd still be talking to you ? Yep, its Essex here, feeling a little like Shirley Valentine talking to the wall sometimes but the feedback and comments have been lovely and some quite funny. So I'd like to thank you for all of those. Now I'm going to get all soft and mushy. No, I'm not, I'm going to tell you how things have changed. So, here is a brief reminder. This time last year, we were a week away from masks becoming obligatory in Spain. We closed our municipalities yet strangely enough, the international borders remained open. I never did understand that. Then came all the restrictions with the exceptions at Christmas, where we were given a little bit more freedom by an hour or two. I've reported to you on three or four major devastating fires we've had here. Quite a few diligent, shall we say, Police officers on patrol for one thing or another. I've warned you about scammers and I've brought you the wackiest stories in the world I could find and we've all come through it together. And here we are, a year on, and I'm still chewing your ear off on a weekly basis. I think, maybe the strangest part of the year for me was the filming of ' Bargain loving Brits in the Sun', in the middle of a pandemic and then bizarrely reliving it on the screen. I've met some lovely people, who have come up to me and I can't deny it has generated a lot of business for my awnings and shade company called ´Ace of Shades´. Great name huh ? which is welcome in this current climate, when everyone is trying their best to keep their businesses, ticking over. Oddly enough Channel Five like to get a bit of bang for their buck. So, the TV show is rerun all the time and yesterday while we were milling about the house doing stuff. Oddly enough with the TV on in the background, we suddenly popped up on the screen. That was a surprise. So where are we now ? Well, that's a good question.......

The Costa del Sol is coming out of hibernation. There is definitely a lot more traffic and people about but fewer bars and places that unfortunately didn't weather the COVID storm. On the good side, there are some new businesses popping up. So hope is looming on the horizon for us here as six Costa resorts can now extend their shopping hours to seven days a week until September 30th, which is great, cos, who doesn't love a bit of shopping ? Normally, other than the busy, bars and restaurants. Everything here is closed on a Sunday. I never understood that either. I know it's for religious reasons but shouldn't people be given a choice whether they want to open up or not. They're crying out for money here yet, the one day in the week, when most people are at home and maybe want to do a bit of DIY or spend a few quid. Forget it, because everything is closed. So the shops opening up early this year is fab, as they don't usually do that until July. Also, as of today, Spain has lifted its ban on international cruise ships docking, as has Italy. Another 60 associations and companies have lifted their restrictions. I'm not sure what the pandemic criteria needed for passengers is in each country but I would imagine the cruise companies are well prepared for it. Let's face it, they've had long enough to get their ducks in a row,

Just to throw it in there. The weather is fabulous here now, as I'm sure you're probably all aware but then we do get 325 days of sunshine per year. So, what's not to like ? Now I do feel really, really sorry for those people who booked their holiday, their summer holiday to Portugal. They've hardly had time to unpack and sample the local Piri Piri chicken before Boris's has slapped them right back on the amber list, giving them the option of either scrambling for that last minute extortionate flight back to the UK, before the witching hour, or deciding to return and face 10 days of quarantine upon arrival. This is crazy, isn't it ? Yet, just a couple of weeks ago, they let Manchester City and Chelsea and their fans travel over for a Champions League football game in Porto, and I have to ask, Was that wise ? Could it have been a bit too early, and now the UK travellers are paying the price because of it. Listen, I'm no football pundit but why did Portugal, need to have two major league British teams and fans, play a game in Portugal. For safety sake. Why didn't they keep it at home and play at Wembley ?? Greed is the answer ! Discussions were actually held over the possibility of switching to Wembley but the UK Government was unable to agree to UEFA´s request for 2000 quarantine exemptions for sponsors VIPs and broadcasters. So Porto´s Estadio was then chosen as the alternate venue. Now they're back on the amber list and the poor people who booked a summer holiday there now are stuffed, Spain,.... we're still on the leprosy list, even though it's really safe here. Numbers are on the way down still, most of us have been vaccinated or have at least had one dose, and now there is talk, that in a couple more weeks in Spain, they're going to consider relaxing the mask rules in some open spaces, which will be a welcome relief, especially in this heat. Of course we still have to wear them to go into shops etc but I can live with that. It's just become a new normal for us here. In order to control things, restaurants and bars will only be allowed to offer food and drink until midnight this summer and must be closed by 1am. Fair enough, who in the heck eats dinner after 12pm anyway ? unless you're falling out of a pub with a greasy kebab shop in mind but for some reason, the UK Government is bent keen on not letting you make an informed and grown up decision to be able to enjoy a holiday abroad, and enjoy yourself safely. They require enough PCR tests !! Now, I have nothing against staycations, although I'm not a big fan of the cold and the rain, but a lot of people do enjoy a foreign holiday and this year it seems to be cheaper than a get away in the UK and that's if you can find anything available. Going abroad is, something a bit different, isn't it ? .... a bit of excitement, a bit of sand and sea, sampling different foods and cultures but those luxuries, have been stripped away from us. Even I'm getting sick of the sight of the Costa del Sol. I'd like to travel and see my children. After all, it's only been nearly two years. Between Brexit and COVID, It's no wonder people are going crazy. How long can you keep people locked up for ? .... and, when can we have some kind of normal back ?

Also here in Spain, we're expecting La Noche de San Juan, which is approaching on June, 23rd. It´s the night that kicks off the summer season here. It's a fun night as anyone who has experienced it will tell you. A festival that is celebrated on the beach with family and friends. Bonfires barbecues, sometimes fireworks and here is what happens at midnight. Let me explain.......It's a big party on the beach with music and laughter and then at midnight, you're supposed to jump over the bonfire. write your wishes for the months ahead and the things that you want to say goodbye to on a piece of paper, and on the night of San Juan you throw those pieces into the bonfires of St John. This symbolises liberation from the past, and hope for the future. After that you run into the sea, picturing those wishes coming true. Fountains and natural water resources become magic and have healing properties. Isn't that lovely thought ? It is the holiday of St John the Baptist and that is why the water is so relevant in this Fiesta, but unfortunately, like last year, it looks like La Noche de San Juan, will not be celebrated, once again.

Finally, I can't leave you without bringing a smile. While we're on the subject of water, it seems an international incident of biblical proportions has kicked off on Ipswich´s waterfront. A replica of Noah's Ark is currently stuck there, because it doesn't have the correct paperwork to say that it's sea worthy. The Ark arrived at Orwell Quay in November 2019 and it's been detained there for 18 months, ever since by the Coast Guard. The 2.6 million biblical Museum, is owned by a Dutch TV producer called Aad Peters, who's trying his level best for an exemption to be allowed to return to Holland, but the Coast Guard has serious concerns and insists that it's not safe. Huh !! ....They seem to let enough people travel from France on Dinghies. They even assist them !! The craft was due to leave on April 1 but because of the stalemate, it's been racking up 500 pounds a day in fines ever since. The Coast Guard found a range of issues including overdue services for life saving equipment. Overdue services ? only by a few 1000 years in my opinion, they're referring to life jackets fire kit, and lifeboats. They said that they couldn't rely on the ´Grace of God´ to let the boat leave. Hey Noah, what were you thinking ?.... but Noah never had these problems, because God didn't say anything to Noah about the lack of life jackets and lifeboats. Can you imagine telling God. "No, it's not good, the UK have deemed the Ark unseaworthy. So, can you hold off with the rains for a while until we get the relevant paperwork." Towage plans have now been made for the Ark to return to the Netherlands but the vessel is still awaiting towage approval to depart from the UK. I bet those camels are getting the right hump !!

Well mis amigos. I'm going to bring one year of broadcasting to an end. Once again thank you for a fun year and your indulgence and kindness for putting up with me and my wild rants. If you've got any questions or something you want me to talk about, please get in touch. I'd love to hear from you. I will be back next week with week 53 of news and madness from Spain. Until then, have a great week everyone. Stay safe and as always from me, Michelle, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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Unknown Speaker 0:01 Hola Funky Media listeners, Yup, me again Essex with this week's news and insanity. We've sort of progressed here from the whole COVID issue. We're all being really responsible, so the topic of conversation has changed to "What's going on with this weather"? One minute is hot and sunny, the next day it's warm but grey and overcast. Then it rains. So, we seem to be moaning here, more about the weather. Personally, I think is because I switched my winter wardrobe over to my summer clothes and that's the reason. You know, it's like ´sod's law´ it´s a bit like being in the UK and the weather is lovely for a couple of days. So you finally break out the garden furniture, tease it into place in the garden, invite your friends and neighbours to a barbecue that weekend and it pee´s down with rain so you end up barbecuing under the garage roof. Come on, we've all done it. Here it can be colder in the mornings, so you put on a sweatshirt and a couple of hours later, it's tropical and you're sweating your wotsits off, then the sun goes down and it gets chilly again. This is a time of year, I turn into an onion. I layer up and I layer down. Come on, it's June already and this is the Costa del Sol, "The Coast of the Sun" !! So, Where in the heck is it? Bring it on and while we're adjusting to the crap weather, some smart person in the UK puts up a post on social media of ´how lovely the weather is´ in Nottingham in the UK while we're all suffering here on the Mediterranean. No, I'm just kidding, but we all love to moan about the weather. It amuses me because when I first arrived on these sunny shores on a warm September day. I used to post pictures with captions like. "wish you were here" and I´d send recorded sea noises to my relatives, you know, little clips like "this is what the sea sounds like". I think a lot of us Brits have done this to friends and family for a giggle but the honeymoon phase eventually wears off and you adjust into your new life, then all your friends and families start holidaying....here. In fact, I have seen more of my family and friends since I moved to sunny Spain than when I lived in the UK. Suddenly, I've become the most popular holiday destination of travel for family and friends. They come in their droves and we love it. Despite the fact you're driving the Coast road to Malaga airport like a shuttle bus, starting to think, hmm, maybe we need an ABTA licence. You know and a flashing sign outside that says vacancies/no vacancies. The goodbyes are always hard. Well, most of the time. Then there's the dash through the departure section at the airport in order to bypass the exorbitant parking fees and it's time to play "Beat the Barriers", while yelling, "bye, bye", and waving our arms about like nutters, "see you soon. Love you". We even have a place in plan for all our kith and kin on airport protocol. The picking up and the dropping off procedures we all do here. I miss those days. I hope we can resume those again. Come on, Boris give us all a break. We need to see our families. We need to be on the green list is perfectly safe here. The Spanish are letting the Brits in now, but the British government needs to be regulating some of these PCR test costs because I'm hearing nightmares from friends who have made it back into the UK for one reason or another and are spending a fortune on tests and quarantining. All I'm saying is, look at the numbers, Boris, let us see our loved ones. Congratulations on your wedding, by the way, great distraction this week from the ´Cummings´ and goings over the last week, and nice of you to make an honest woman out of Carrie, a nice young girl like that. I hear Carrie will become a Johnson. That's fabulous, maybe she'll be able to get a comb through his hair. Seriously though, call me old school but how can you run a country if you can't even brush your hair?

Unknown Speaker 4:41 Anyway, back to Spain. This week we saw more British travellers arrive on our shores because we don't have all the palavar of quarantining and constant PCR testing. All we require is a negative test coming in. I think it's like 72 hours before travelling and of course when you fly back out and those certificates are generally reasonable and easy to get here. So, some of the public is back on the Costa and looking very happy to be here. I visited our local Zoo in Fuengirola this weekend, you know, drop-in, see some of the relatives. No, seriously, it was a fabulous day. In all the years I've lived here I have never been to the Bioparc in Fuengirola, and it was well worth the visit. It was so beautiful and so tranquil. It was also filled with families and children out and about enjoying themselves, which was nice to see, Lots of folk on the beach, weather permitting, no parking but definitely livelier and more road traffic. I think we take that for granted here on the Costa del Sol. We don't usually have the choked up traffic like we tend to get our home. Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner, I don't know, my pool is finally warm enough to put my toes into. The Costa hoteliers here are telling us that they're only expecting 40% occupancy rate for June when all the hotels open. Now, considering how many people visit the Costa del Sol yearly. Then you will know this. That's well down. I think we get something like 3 million visitors a year so 40% of that is not a lot but it is bringing some revenue back to the coast so I guess it's a start. I also noticed that the concert park near Sohail Castle in Fuengirola is setting up the seating so I'm wondering what concerts, if any, are planned for the summer but there's definitely seating going up in preparation, which is something we haven't seen in a while and we do get some big names here on the coast.

Unknown Speaker 6:52 Now, this week has had some very interesting stories in it and I'm not going to rant this week, I promise. In fact, I'm wondering if anyone else heard the story of the police officer who could lose his job after he told a female PCSO, he stirred her tea with his ......man bit !! What do they mean he could lose his job? That should be a given. That is just bizarre and creepy. PC Steven Green claimed that, he was just having a bit of a laugh and that he misjudged his friendship with the victim. Misjudged his friendship? I reckon he did that alright. If that´d been me, I would have reached for a knife in the canteen draw, and really taught him a lesson in misjudgement !! Apparently. he's even been watching her getting changed in the female locker room and has given her a shoulder massage, without her permission. A second PCSO, I believe that's a Police Constable Special Officer described him as having a cocky attitude, no pun intended, what she meant was, he behaved as though he owned the place. Now, PC Green denies most of the charges, I´ll just bet he does or in his head, I bet he regrets it but he did admit that he pushed the door to the locker room. He said he was trying to make friends ......and influence people no doubt. Well, that's one heck of a way to get the attention of your colleagues. What is going on in this world? That puts "Protect and Serve" in a whole different category. A police officer and the ones our parents always taught us to respect. Apparently, he was found guilty of nine charges in front of a disciplinary panel but the burning question for me, other than, why would you do like that is... How hot was that flaming tea? Surely that's gotta burn! What an idiot but not the only idiot this week with a cocky attitude as is John Barrowman. He has managed to get himself fired from the BBC Doctor Who series and the popular ITV Dancing On Ice show. I think he was skating on very thin ice himself when he got his man bit out for a laugh. Now, apparently, John Barrowman is very well endowed shall we say, I just want to add this is not from personal experience but it's well known in showbiz circles that he likes to get it out and put it on public view for a giggle. Well, look where that jokes got you mate, unemployed! I doubt he'll ever play Dick in a Panto again. What is it with these people who have a great future and do the most inane things that ruin and bring their careers crashing to a halt and for a what? I hope it brought a smile to your face John because that's about all it's going to do. I just don't understand it. This is definitely a guy thing. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be sexist, but for goodness sake and for the sake of the planet. Put it away.

Unknown Speaker 10:15 Now, next week will be my Anniversary podcast as I've been giving you earache for the last year. This all started with me during the lockdown and we've covered so much ground since then. From the factual to the ridiculous and I've enjoyed doing it. So I just wanted to say thank you to my listeners and thank you to all of you for your feedback and support. If there's anything you would like me to cover in the week, don't be shy, let me know we can always discuss it. Next week, I'll bring you a special anniversary podcast to celebrate. Until then, I'm off to the beach to scope out this year swimwear. Pray that summer arrives so that I can start wearing my summer collection. Let the shoe shopping and the leg waxing begin. Take care, have a great week, whatever you are doing stay safe and as always my friends from me, Michelle, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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Hola Funky Media listeners, Essex here, live from the Costa del Sol, with this week's shenanigans. Well, it seems as of Monday this week, we are welcoming the British and Japanese tourists, back to our shores. To be honest, I'm not sure I've ever seen that many Japanese visitors here but the lack of Brits have been noticed. Not that the parking situation has improved much, but it will be nice to see families and children enjoying their summer holidays, Boris willing, once again, I can't believe Boris still has is on the amber list and Israel is on the green list. Please don't get me wrong I am definitely not anti-Israel but I'm not so sure it's the safest place to travel to at the moment. Here in the Costa del Sol, we are all enjoying life and according to one of our broadcasters, RTVE, there is no longer any autonomous community here at a level of the extreme risk of contagion. So, what's your problem, Boris? People have done what you wanted for the last 18 months, reduce the curve to next to nothing and now you need to give people what you promise them...... FREEDOM! We're just getting on with things here on the coast. Last week I met up with a group of friends for lunch, there was 10 of us, it was a wonderful day. After all, we've pretty much all been vaccinated. Some of us have had both shots, some others, one shot so far but with dates for their second and it was fabulous. We're all respecting the masks situation but only when walking in public spaces. All this BS about having to wear them on the beach and swimming is just that....... BS. We have live entertainment, and the vino is flowing once again. The only thing the police seems to be concentrating on is the new speed laws, which are seeming a little crazy and crime, which is just the way it should be. Yes, life as we know it, Jim, with a few tweaks has returned to some kind of normal here, which is great. The sun is shining, and it's roasting. People are enjoying themselves on the beach, restaurants and other tourist locations. I'm thinking it's about time they resurrected Moses to plead with Boris, "Let my people go". Gibraltar and Portugal's borders are open for business and so it should be here in Spain. I think the Spanish have dealt with the situation really well but now it's time to exercise, a bit of common sense and let people decide if they are willing to take the risk. The vaccination process is chugging away quite rapidly here and I don't know of anyone now who hasn't received at least one of their jabs. Most of us are now headed towards our second inoculation if we haven't already received it and we are enjoying life once again. You can't keep people locked up forever. We've done our time.

Okay, prepare for a soapbox moment now because I have a few rants and I need to clear my chest this week. Did any of you watch the Eurovision Song Contest this last weekend? What a joke it is !! I must admit, I gave it a swerve. I was too busy out enjoying myself but I did catch some highlights on the news. I gotta say, what a load of old tosh as per usual, I noticed it's still a very political competition. What I can't understand is why Britain would still want to participate. Before the singing, even starts, you know Greece is going to award its points to Cyprus and Cyprus to Greece. What is the point? Actually, there wasn't, not 1 point at all. I think it's time to knock this stupidity on the head. Nil point? was our song really that bad, ? or do we maybe think Brexit played some part in it this year? Total waste of time, along with the BBC who hosted it.

On the subject to the BBC, they are taking a lot of backlashes this week and quite rightly so. The British Bullying Corporation is now being sued left right and centre, even more reason to defund them. Let them become a subscription service and see how many people actually sign up for that service. I'm betting not too many. Netflix is now way more popular than the BBC. Even Prince William came out slamming them this week for duping his poor mother into that terrible interview. Maybe, if she hadn't been lied to and coerced, she may never have done that and would possibly still be alive today. Michael Jackson's estate is suing them. In my opinion, they are the left-leaning WOKE brigade, who are committed to bullying people into paying a TV licence for programmes that only follow their own agenda and now they're picking on comedians and comedy programmes from the 70s that they're finding offensive. Political correctness and cancel culture gone mad again! Programmes that we all enjoyed like Fawlty Towers and anything like that doesn't fit with their box-ticking WOKE agenda. They're also double standards going on, it seems, Gary Lineker for example, paid an insane amount of money to present an hour and a half show once a week and is advertising Walkers Crisps, while Nick Knowles gets fired from his show for promoting Shreddies. Double standards in practice, here methinks

I tell you, I'm on a roll this week. Would someone please shut the artist once known as Prince up, he is becoming more irritating as the week's go on. For someone who left the UK for privacy and moved to the tabloid capital of the world and is now invading his own privacy spouting crap about saving the planet. Whilst jetting off on private jets around the bloody world and pontificating to us about carbon footprints. This guy is driving me nuts. The entitled Prince of Wokeness, the "ginger whinger" and his missus, the Duchess of Doom, Me Me Me, are doing their level best to trash our royal family. In the words of Catherine Tate "What a liberty" You don't throw your family under the bus for fame and fortune it´s offensive. I'm no big monarchist, but even I'm fed up with it. The Queen can't really strip them of their titles, because that would cause her a dilemma and make Megan the manipulator, Princess Henry of Wales, which I'm sure she would love. Better to be a Princess than a Duchess hey? She separated him from his friends and family, ghosted her own kith and kin. No wonder the manchild needs therapy. I used to really like that old fun-loving Harry, the cheeky chappy who made a smile but for people who wanted privacy, why are we hearing from them on a daily basis? and now he's attacking the Constitution of the United States. Something else he knows absolutely nothing about. His popularity in the UK is at an all-time low and now, even the Americans are feeling irritated by him. I can't help wondering how long before they have another tea party in Boston Harbour with Prince Harry. He really needs to read up on what happened in 1773. Just a short history lesson. The Boston Tea Party was the precursor to the American Revolution, in which 342 chests of tea, belonging to the British East India Company were thrown into Boston Harbour. Watch out, Harry, you could be next. Let's face it, he's never been the brightest button on the blazer, leaving Eton with two A levels, a ´B´ in Art and a ´D´ in Geography. So exactly what qualifications, does he have to advise people about mental health when he's so messed up himself. For God's sake, Harry, give us all a break and go practice some of that privacy you so badly wanted with Meghan the Duchess of Classlessness and leave us all alone. Thank God we've got the Cambridge´s waiting in the wings.

Now, tirade over, a tradesman was left mortified this week after carrying out work, only to find out he was the wrong house. Yep. He began digging up a garden at an address that he had been given to carry out work and then when his boss arrived they discovered there were two number 37´s on the same street. How can that happen? He received a text from his boss saying he was running late, so to crack on and he would catch up with him. So he decided to get a head start on the day and dug up the border and all the paving slabs in the back garden. His boss arrived once the preparation work had been done only for the pair to realise there was bizarrely two number 37´s, just a few houses apart and it dawned on the worker that they torn up a complete strangers garden by mistake. Can you imagine coming home to tradesmen tearing up your garden? Oh my God. He shared this hilarious video, well of course he did, who doesn't share anything on social media these days? saying, "What a way to start the day huh? showing the number 37 sign outside the house that he´d been working on, saying, "I've just gone to a complete strangers house, opened up their shed, pulled out their pavers and waited for the boss after digging up their immaculate lawn, just to find out it's the wrong house". Since being posted the videos have racked up more than 1 million views, but you'll be pleased to know the mistake has been rectified but how strange to have two houses with the same number on the same street. However, it was reported in the papers, so it must be true...... Right?

Well, Mis Amigos, I figure that's enough ranting and raving for this week. I'm off to enjoy some sun, sand and sangria. Make sure you put plenty of sunscreen on or is it still raining there? I'll build a sandcastle for you with the bucket when the wine´s run out. Until we speak next week. Have a good one. Stay safe and as always, from me, Michelle, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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Hola Funky Media listeners from the Costa del Sol. Yes, it's me, Michelle/Essex again with this week's roundup of what's happening here in Spain or any other madness in the world I've come across this week and you know I probably have. Well, it is March and isn't March known for his madness ?

Firstly, I should recognise that it is a Bank holiday here today. Today is Andalucia day. Well, actually, yesterday was Andalucia day it falls on February 28th but as it was a Sunday they've carried it over to the Monday. In short, this holiday commemorates the ´Statue of Autonomy of Andalucia. It's when the Andalician people voted to make this province and autonomous community of Spain, back in 1980. Any excuse for a day off here. They do like a holiday bless the Spanish.

In truth it´s been another pretty crap weekend weather wise and most of last week being overcast, cold and gloomy. Kind of reminded me a home. Sorry people in the UK. I know it's far colder where you are but when the sun doesn't come out here, us British do like to have a good moan. The Spanish are like really cool with it, they seem to like it. And considering we have about 320 days of sunshine a year, I guess I shouldn't moan but I hate the cold and this stuff is just so depressing when it's grey and gloomy.

In Andalucia the COVID rate is down considerably to 217 people diagnosed per 100,000 inhabitants, which is great news, considering our third wave of the pandemic, the number here was 959 and that was just at the beginning of February, so things are definitely headed in the right direction. Our hospital pressure is now down to about 10% and our ICU levels have dropped to about 23% so that's a break for the NHS which I'm sure they badly need, and it's good news for all of us. Andalucia has administered 626,659 doses, since the vaccine campaign started. Vaccinations have now been supposedly distributed to all of group one, you know, the key workers the care homes, etc. These groups are now essentially complete. The Ministry of Health and Families has already determined, where the vaccine points for COVID-19 vaccinations will be located and there'll be 45 health centres and 37 hospitals that will dispense the vaccine, made up of 177 teams with 526 nursing professionals. Now, 73 of these are going to be mobile, in order to be able to reach the nursing homes and vaccinate all the residents and their workers in the first couple of weeks that are like out of the way. The president of Andalucia, Juanma Moreno said last weekend, he hoped to have half of the Andalucian population of 8 million people vaccinated by early summer. Now I'd like to be able to believe that but it seems like it's going to be a very slow rollout here unfortunately, although there is more vaccine arriving here weekly, maybe even daily, as I said before, logistics was always going to be the problem. Opinions are a little mixed out there but there's not a lot of anti vaxxers I've got to say judging by the people I've spoken to.

Anyway, putting the pandemic statistics aside, nothing terribly exciting has been happening here. I mean how can it ? We're all under the same restrictions as the last few weeks. Eating lunch for dinner is becoming the new norm now, we're all getting used to that and people here I'm glad to say are abiding by the rules but what choice do we have ? British products are still having trouble getting over to our shores and stores. So I still haven't seen a Scotch Egg and there seems to be a Sausage crisis looming, it seems we're about to have "Sausage Gate" here on the Costa del Sol in southern Spain but we've been assured that there is a new supply route and things will be rectifying themselves soon. I don't know, maybe they're going to go the Pablo Escobar route and smuggle Tea bags and Custard Creams in to Spain, through alternate routes now, I've no idea. I did see plenty of jars of Pickled Eggs on the shelf in the supermarket that "all mums go to" but, who in the hell eats those things. Honestly, I can't think of one good reason to pickle an egg, let alone, eat one that is absolutely awful. Why do people pickle them in the first place ? They're vile !!

I did manage to get a frozen Pie, Mash and Liquor TV dinner. Now, unless you're from the south of the UK, this is gonna be totally lost on you but it's one of the things that I majorly miss from the UK. I think up north, you guys have Pie, Mash and Gravy, so I've been told but for me, you can't beat authentic Pie and Mash, which sadly brings me to another thing. The Pie and Mash shops are disappearing off the British High Streets. Personally I think they should be given heritage status. The old Pie and Mash shops go way back in London.

Now, I know you're all gagging to know out there what else has been happening in our world this week that we're not seeing on our tellies, well, funny you should ask that, a 66 year old Irish man plunged into freezing waters this week and swam for a mile to claim a Guinness World Book record as the world's oldest Ice Mile swimmer. Have you any idea how cold the Mediterranean is at this time of year ? let alone an ice lake. Now, I don't know about you but I won't get in the pool until June when the waters warmed up. You know what one of the biggest lies in the world that people tell you, it always occurs around swimming pools, you're just getting in and there's gonna be one person that turns around and says to you "It's alright oce you're in". No......No, it isn't !! They're lying ! and it's cold enough to make your bits freeze off. Anyway, back to the story at hand, Ger Purcell from Corbally, in Limerick and that's in Ireland, (I hope I pronounced that correctly), God bless him he said he trained for several months to swim in frigid waters and he broke the record during the Ice Mile Challenge at the Shannon Rowing Club in Limerick. You'd want a hot Bovril or two after that wouldn't you ? The Guinness rules state that the swim has to be done continuously without any breaks and the water temperature has to be verified as below 23 degrees. Below 23 degrees !! Water !! Now, I'm a strong swimmer, in fact, in my youth I was captain of a swim team at school and I participated in quite a few swimming gala´s but there is nothing in this world that could entice me into a frozen Pond Lake or a Bathtub for that matter. The story didn't go on to say whether he'd done it for charity. If he did, I hope he got tons of donations or if he´d just done it to get into the Guinness Book of World Records or whether he'd acquired frostbite on his nether regions, however, Purcell finished his swim in 43 minutes and 28 seconds, which makes him the world's oldest Ice Mile swimmer confirmed by Guinness, so well done, mate. Congratulations. That certainly takes some balls.

Meanwhile over in California and here comes the "only in America bit".... A man was caught using the Carpool lane using a mannequin as a passenger. Ingenius I thought but I don't think the Policia in California were none too impressed. The California Highway Patrol said the driver was using the high occupancy vehicle lane of the highway and that it was one of the best dummies the Police had ever seen. They pulled him over in a place called Baldwin Park which is in Southern California for travelling in the carpool lane but the truck had tinted windows, so it made it hard for the police officer to see in, so obviously the officer has asked him to lower the windows and when the officer looked into the truck, he then see´s what looks like a man sitting in the passenger seat, which he said was actually a highly realistic mannequin, complete with a COVID 19 mask. He'd even put a mask on it. Unbelievable !! Well, at least he was being complicit to President Biden's 100 day mask request. You've got to give him kudos for that. That's a lot of work to go to in order to cheat the system. In California, the Freeways get choked up so much, like the parking lot they call the M25 in the UK. So they have carpool lanes on the freeways and in California, it just makes it easier for people to get to work and a lot of people carpool. Anyway clever or not and I thought it was pretty inventive, he was issued a ticket for an HOV, which in layman's terms is a ´High Occupancy Vehicle´ violation and carries a maximum fine of $490 which is about 350 GB pounds or around 400 Euros. Bit of an expensive ride to work if you ask me, and I bet the police officer that left him with a. "Have a nice day Sir" because they always do that, they're always so polite after they've written you up. I know because I've picked up a couple of speeding tickets myself when I lived in California.

Funny enough is a bit like here in Spain, except you don't argue with the cops here. They carry weapons, and they look hard. So the best thing to do is be polite, not smart and suck it up. Mind you, some of the Policia here, could be counted as pin up material so it's not all bad. However, some of them don't come up to your car and say "Good day, madam, can I see your licence". They come up screaming at you, which can be quite intimidating and overwhelming and they mean business. I once had an experience over here, when I first moved over, where I got stopped by The Guardia Civil and I felt the need to explain to the officer that I was a good person, that I didn't have any illegal immigrants in the boot of the car or any other contraband, you know, maybe even show him a few family snaps to soften him up because he was so formidable, he scared the flippin life out of me but for the most part, as long as you cooperate with them, they're fine. Long gone are the days in Spain where you used to slip em a few Pesetas into their hand. They don't stand for any of that malarkey anymore. That will get you in a whole heap of trouble. Compliance is always the best thing you can do.

Well, as it comes to a close on this week's episode. I will be back next week with some more riveting and breaking mad news for you all. I'm praying the sun comes out so we can go back to some kind of normal cos I am fed up of going out looking like the Michelin Man, and coming home like Twiggy with an arm full of clothing. I wish you all a fab week and stay safe out there, wherever you may be. Until next week from me, Michelle, as always, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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Hola Funky Media listeners, it's Michelle/Essex with greetings from the sunshine in the Costa del Sol. Well after the mad storms we had two weeks ago this week has been glorious with wall to wall sunshine. It's like summers come early to the coast. I'm not sure how long this will last but last Friday we had 25 degrees here which is about 77 degrees in old money. It's a bit bizarre because one minute you're looking for your wellies and raincoat and the next it´s sunbathing weather, which kind of makes it hard to decide what to wear day to day, Because it's so cool in the mornings and warm by lunchtime, I call this the onion season. You know where you layer up and slowly remove the layers as the days go on.

Well, I'd love to be able to report that the Costa del Sol is vibrant and exciting but nothing could be further from the truth and I only wish I could open the wardrobe door and disappear into the land of Narnia. We're all still living under rigid COVID restrictions here and so it goes on. Another week, another set of figures for this awful pandemic and according to RTVE, which is the Spanish Radio and Television Corporation, we now have 7,703 cases with 981 of those diagnosed in the last 24 hours here in Andalusia. That's if the figures are to be believed. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not conspiracy theorist in any way but depending on what source you go to the numbers differ but unfortunately, not by much. Our hospital pressure here in Andalucia has jumped up again to 25.82% and the ICU´s, are now at 37.16%. Where we look like we were making some progress down here in the south, we now seem to be going backward and into some very dangerous territory, because if the numbers go up to 1000 per 100,000 inhabitants, we are surely headed for much tougher restrictions, if not, a total lockdown. Some of the other provinces like Valencia, have extremely high numbers. So for example in Benidorm, everything is closed and locked down. Their hospital pressure is at 41% and their ICU´s at 63%. So as you can see, the NHS here is also feeling the pressure. We're still stuck in our own municipalities here on the Costa del Sol with everything still closing at 6pm. The only way you could leave the Municipality and go into a neighbouring town, is if it's for essential reasons only, like work, visiting a doctor or a hospital and then you have to prove, have proof on you that that's where you're going. The police are out fining anyone who breaks these regulations and with three Police forces here to reckon with they really don't mess about. Apparently the word from the Andalucian government is 52,000 doses of the Moderna vaccine will be distributed from February the 1st with another 600,000 doses arriving by the end of February. Spain, also expects to receive 1,779,570 doses of the BioNTech Pfizer vaccine during the month of February, making it possible for Spain to share a total of 2,340,000 doses to its autonomous communities. Now, considering the population of Spain is around 46.94 million people with 8.47 million of us living here in Andalucia here alone it seems like a spit in the ocean and it looks like it's going to be another very long year. I'm not expecting to see a needle until about, August, September at this rate in my age group. I'm not gonna lay all the blame on Spain for this hold up, I have to say a lot of the blame lays with the EU and their lack of coordination, Portugal is also having its own nightmare and has completely shut its borders down not allowing anyone from Spain to enter its territories and its reporting 12,435 cases at the end of January.

Now, I had to have a COVID test myself this week due to being in contact with people who had tested positive. There is nothing that wakes you have more than a message telling you you've been in contact with people that are infected and I've got to tell you it was nerve wracking waiting for the results. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. Watching people come out the clinic with their eyes streaming only made me feel worse and you Men, you Men are dreadful. Thank goodness it´s us women that bear children, otherwise the population would just die out. I saw grown men coming out of that clinic, wiping their eyes and shaking. That freaked me out to start with. Then they called me in and what I can only describe as a minute toilet brush was shoved up my nose and yes, I too came out with my eyes streaming. I'm not sure if they were testing to see if I still had a brain. You know they shove it so deep up inside your nose. I'm not sure about the brain but thankfully after the longest 15 minutes of my life, the test results came back negative. The doctor called me into his office to show me the test, and explain the results and there was only one line which meant that I was clear of COVID-19. I must admit I couldn't help wondering if two lines meant I was pregnant. I know, I know I shouldn't joke about such things but sometimes nerves get the better of me.

On the lighter side of life I did something totally ridiculous this week, that had my pharmacist in stitches. During the Christmas period, they were giving away complimentary bottles of gel containing Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and I had an allergic reaction to something this week and was itching like crazy, so, I was prescribed some strong Antihistamine and I told the chemist I've been rubbing this gel into my body to relieve myself of the itching but it was taking so long to absorb it into my skin and it wasn't helping. That's when he fell apart in total hysterics. When he pulled himself together he explained that the bottle of jollup that they had been giving out over Christmas turned out to be shower gel and I'd been rubbing this stuff all over my body for days. It didn't say anything on the bottle about it being shower gel. I know because my Spanish is quite good. It just said gel so I thought because it contains Aloe Vera and Vitamin E, it was body lotion. Talk about lost in translation. I wondered why it went all sparkly and took ages to rub in. Thank goodness I mentioned it to him or I'd still be using this stuff as body lotion and I have to tell you I'm not the only one who did it. When I told some of my friends about my experience, they said they'd done the same thing and they hadn't realised it was shower gel either. That made me feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only village idiot. To his credit, he did give me another bottle and I have to say, it is really good shower gel.

Now, before I continue with the madness that has become my podcast, I'd like to respond to a lovely lady who sent me a fabulous message this week on the Funky Media website named Barbara, under the heading of Marital Love. Barbara had seen me on Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun and told me that their hair stood up on her arm when I mentioned in the programme that I still fancied my husband after all these years. She then went on to tell me that she felt the same way, not about my husband obviously, Barbara and her husband, who I believe is called Len are celebrating 62 years of marriage this year, 62 years !! Wow ! Barbara you could have committed three murders and been out of prison by now. I'm only kidding my love, I just want to say congratulations to you both. I hope you have many, many more happy and healthy years together. I found your message, really heartwarming. So, thank you for reaching out and telling me. I think that's blooming marvellous, 62 years married. What a feat !!

Now on the subject of love, you remember last week me telling you about the bodybuilder who married the sex doll ? Well it seems he's not the only crazy one out there. I just love a bit of Weird News, don't you ?

A Russian woman called Rain married her friend and mentor..... a briefcase ! Has the world gone completely nuts this year ? The wedding ceremony apparently was held last June, and was officiated by a friend of Rains in Moscow. I bet that was stunning to witness. "Do you briefcase, take this woman Rain to be your lawful wedded wife to having to hold, by strap or handle". The 24 year old said, that she'd been in relationships with men however, she's always been more attracted to objects. Now according to Rain her relationship became official in November 2015, and she has been with Gideon, (that's the name of her briefcase), ever since. Speaking about her relationship with the briefcase, she said that she did not have any idea that she would end up together with Gideon. I can't help thinking her parents must have been elated that she'd bagged herself such a catch. Rain liked how he looked, I'm guessing it might have been all that leather but did not think anything more about it but then she slowly realised she was starting to fall in love.... with a briefcase. Oh my gosh ! You couldn't make this up ! She claims that they have philosophical conversations for three to four hours. I´m betting he can't get a word in edgeways. Philosophical conversations about what ? Now, philosophical conversations are designed, I thought, to stimulate thought and discussion, but with a briefcase ? It makes you wonder what the briefcase had to say for itself. They've also shared hugs and kisses and spent more time together in the evenings and nights, as per Rain. It sounds all very romantic, this briefcase, I wonder if she finds little romantic notes in his pockets. Rain said Gideon is more than just a partner to me, he's a husband, a friend and a mentor. To be honest, I think some people need more than a COVID test. I think they need a brain matter test. I don't get this falling in love with inanimate objects lark, I just think they're stark raving bonkers !! Well, it's making me look at my Microwave oven and a whole new light. I might have a cheeky fling..... Oops, I mean, ping while hubby is at work.

I was really sad this week to hear about Sir Captain Tom Moore, who was taken into hospital this week. I do hope he makes a rapid recovery although I can't imagine why he travelled to Barbados at this time. All that hard work he put into raising money for the NHS but I'm sure he's getting the VIP treatment there. So God bless you, Sir Tom, we all wish you a really speedy recovery.

Well guys, that's all I have for you this week. I hope you all stay well and try not to take a fancy to anything in your household. If you do, please be sure and let me know. I'm going to wrap this up now because the sofa is giving me funny looks. Keep well everyone, try and have a good week and I'll be back with some more barking mad news for you next week. Stay safe and as always, Hasta Luego from me, Michelle in the Costa del Sol.

Hola Funky Media listeners, it's Michelle/Essex with greetings from the sunshine in the Costa del Sol. Well after the mad storms we had two weeks ago this week has been glorious with wall to wall sunshine. It's like summers come early to the coast. I'm not sure how long this will last but last Friday we had 25 degrees here which is about 77 degrees in old money. It's a bit bizarre because one minute you're looking for your wellies and raincoat and the next it´s sunbathing weather, which kind of makes it hard to decide what to wear day to day, Because it's so cool in the mornings and warm by lunchtime, I call this the onion season. You know where you layer up and slowly remove the layers as the days go on.

Well, I'd love to be able to report that the Costa del Sol is vibrant and exciting but nothing could be further from the truth and I only wish I could open the wardrobe door and disappear into the land of Narnia. We're all still living under rigid COVID restrictions here and so it goes on. Another week, another set of figures for this awful pandemic and according to RTVE, which is the Spanish Radio and Television Corporation, we now have 7,703 cases with 981 of those diagnosed in the last 24 hours here in Andalusia. That's if the figures are to be believed. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not conspiracy theorist in any way but depending on what source you go to the numbers differ but unfortunately, not by much. Our hospital pressure here in Andalucia has jumped up again to 25.82% and the ICU´s, are now at 37.16%. Where we look like we were making some progress down here in the south, we now seem to be going backward and into some very dangerous territory, because if the numbers go up to 1000 per 100,000 inhabitants, we are surely headed for much tougher restrictions, if not, a total lockdown. Some of the other provinces like Valencia, have extremely high numbers. So for example in Benidorm, everything is closed and locked down. Their hospital pressure is at 41% and their ICU´s at 63%. So as you can see, the NHS here is also feeling the pressure. We're still stuck in our own municipalities here on the Costa del Sol with everything still closing at 6pm. The only way you could leave the Municipality and go into a neighbouring town, is if it's for essential reasons only, like work, visiting a doctor or a hospital and then you have to prove, have proof on you that that's where you're going. The police are out fining anyone who breaks these regulations and with three Police forces here to reckon with they really don't mess about. Apparently the word from the Andalucian government is 52,000 doses of the Moderna vaccine will be distributed from February the 1st with another 600,000 doses arriving by the end of February. Spain, also expects to receive 1,779,570 doses of the BioNTech Pfizer vaccine during the month of February, making it possible for Spain to share a total of 2,340,000 doses to its autonomous communities. Now, considering the population of Spain is around 46.94 million people with 8.47 million of us living here in Andalucia here alone it seems like a spit in the ocean and it looks like it's going to be another very long year. I'm not expecting to see a needle until about, August, September at this rate in my age group. I'm not gonna lay all the blame on Spain for this hold up, I have to say a lot of the blame lays with the EU and their lack of coordination, Portugal is also having its own nightmare and has completely shut its borders down not allowing anyone from Spain to enter its territories and its reporting 12,435 cases at the end of January.

Now, I had to have a COVID test myself this week due to being in contact with people who had tested positive. There is nothing that wakes you have more than a message telling you you've been in contact with people that are infected and I've got to tell you it was nerve wracking waiting for the results. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. Watching people come out the clinic with their eyes streaming only made me feel worse and you Men, you Men are dreadful. Thank goodness it´s us women that bear children, otherwise the population would just die out. I saw grown men coming out of that clinic, wiping their eyes and shaking. That freaked me out to start with. Then they called me in and what I can only describe as a minute toilet brush was shoved up my nose and yes, I too came out with my eyes streaming. I'm not sure if they were testing to see if I still had a brain. You know they shove it so deep up inside your nose. I'm not sure about the brain but thankfully after the longest 15 minutes of my life, the test results came back negative. The doctor called me into his office to show me the test, and explain the results and there was only one line which meant that I was clear of COVID-19. I must admit I couldn't help wondering if two lines meant I was pregnant. I know, I know I shouldn't joke about such things but sometimes nerves get the better of me.

On the lighter side of life I did something totally ridiculous this week, that had my pharmacist in stitches. During the Christmas period, they were giving away complimentary bottles of gel containing Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and I had an allergic reaction to something this week and was itching like crazy, so, I was prescribed some strong Antihistamine and I told the chemist I've been rubbing this gel into my body to relieve myself of the itching but it was taking so long to absorb it into my skin and it wasn't helping. That's when he fell apart in total hysterics. When he pulled himself together he explained that the bottle of jollup that they had been giving out over Christmas turned out to be shower gel and I'd been rubbing this stuff all over my body for days. It didn't say anything on the bottle about it being shower gel. I know because my Spanish is quite good. It just said gel so I thought because it contains Aloe Vera and Vitamin E, it was body lotion. Talk about lost in translation. I wondered why it went all sparkly and took ages to rub in. Thank goodness I mentioned it to him or I'd still be using this stuff as body lotion and I have to tell you I'm not the only one who did it. When I told some of my friends about my experience, they said they'd done the same thing and they hadn't realised it was shower gel either. That made me feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only village idiot. To his credit, he did give me another bottle and I have to say, it is really good shower gel.

Now, before I continue with the madness that has become my podcast, I'd like to respond to a lovely lady who sent me a fabulous message this week on the Funky Media website named Barbara, under the heading of Marital Love. Barbara had seen me on Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun and told me that their hair stood up on her arm when I mentioned in the programme that I still fancied my husband after all these years. She then went on to tell me that she felt the same way, not about my husband obviously, Barbara and her husband, who I believe is called Len are celebrating 62 years of marriage this year, 62 years !! Wow ! Barbara you could have committed three murders and been out of prison by now. I'm only kidding my love, I just want to say congratulations to you both. I hope you have many, many more happy and healthy years together. I found your message, really heartwarming. So, thank you for reaching out and telling me. I think that's blooming marvellous, 62 years married. What a feat !!

Now on the subject of love, you remember last week me telling you about the bodybuilder who married the sex doll ? Well it seems he's not the only crazy one out there. I just love a bit of Weird News, don't you ?

A Russian woman called Rain married her friend and mentor..... a briefcase ! Has the world gone completely nuts this year ? The wedding ceremony apparently was held last June, and was officiated by a friend of Rains in Moscow. I bet that was stunning to witness. "Do you briefcase, take this woman Rain to be your lawful wedded wife to having to hold, by strap or handle". The 24 year old said, that she'd been in relationships with men however, she's always been more attracted to objects. Now according to Rain her relationship became official in November 2015, and she has been with Gideon, (that's the name of her briefcase), ever since. Speaking about her relationship with the briefcase, she said that she did not have any idea that she would end up together with Gideon. I can't help thinking her parents must have been elated that she'd bagged herself such a catch. Rain liked how he looked, I'm guessing it might have been all that leather but did not think anything more about it but then she slowly realised she was starting to fall in love.... with a briefcase. Oh my gosh ! You couldn't make this up ! She claims that they have philosophical conversations for three to four hours. I´m betting he can't get a word in edgeways. Philosophical conversations about what ? Now, philosophical conversations are designed, I thought, to stimulate thought and discussion, but with a briefcase ? It makes you wonder what the briefcase had to say for itself. They've also shared hugs and kisses and spent more time together in the evenings and nights, as per Rain. It sounds all very romantic, this briefcase, I wonder if she finds little romantic notes in his pockets. Rain said Gideon is more than just a partner to me, he's a husband, a friend and a mentor. To be honest, I think some people need more than a COVID test. I think they need a brain matter test. I don't get this falling in love with inanimate objects lark, I just think they're stark raving bonkers !! Well, it's making me look at my Microwave oven and a whole new light. I might have a cheeky fling..... Oops, I mean, ping while hubby is at work.

I was really sad this week to hear about Sir Captain Tom Moore, who was taken into hospital this week. I do hope he makes a rapid recovery although I can't imagine why he travelled to Barbados at this time. All that hard work he put into raising money for the NHS but I'm sure he's getting the VIP treatment there. So God bless you, Sir Tom, we all wish you a really speedy recovery.

Well guys, that's all I have for you this week. I hope you all stay well and try not to take a fancy to anything in your household. If you do, please be sure and let me know. I'm going to wrap this up now because the sofa is giving me funny looks. Keep well everyone, try and have a good week and I'll be back with some more barking mad news for you next week. Stay safe and as always, Hasta Luego from me, Michelle in the Costa del Sol.

Hola Funky Media listeners, It's Michelle/Essex once again with this week's update from the Costa Del Sol and things seem to be pretty hunky dory here at the moment I've got to say, although it's very quiet, residents and we have a few tourists out here are venturing out to eat, socialize and support their local restaurants and businesses, which is fabulous but I have to say is a very different coast to this time last year, I was in Fuengirola on Saturday night and it was unusually quiet, but yet still a nightmare to park, its strange. Very few people but so many cars.

Of course masks have become the norm here, as they have all over the world. Some of them are actually quite pretty but it's funny how the beginning of 2020, we looked at the odd person wearing one as overreacting and now it's become mandatory law, which is subject to fines if you don't wear one. Even the looky looky men have now jumped on the bandwagon and are selling them, so they have a new line this year, aside from Sunglasses and Bags, they're now flogging Masks. I do feel a bit sorry for them they've had a really bad summer of course with no tourists out here so let's hope it picks up for next year. I myself would be thrilled if we could all get back to a "normal normal" instead of this "crazy normal". Anyway, yesterday I was at the beach, taking Lolly the spoilt animal, yes the one that's sitting there looking at me with daggers at the moment, for a leisurely stroll in a spot of lunch, as you do, and I was, I was actually quite surprised at how warm the Mediterranean Sea is at the moment. It was so serene there with the waves washing slowly up on the shore. This is starting to sound like a travel brochure, but for the moment I've got to say gazing out in that water. It made it feel like all this craziness had gone away. Well, one can wish eh ? I do consider myself being lucky living here though, when you wake up in the sun shining in the sky is blue, that already lifts your spirits. Anyway, let's get into this week's happenings.

Now where in the south of Spain we've been quite fortunate, the people in the north of Spain have not been so lucky. This weekend because of two Spanish regions that border France, Catalonia and Nevarra have announced new coronavirus restrictions on public life to try and tame the rise in COVID-19 infections. Now in Nevarra, that's home to about 650,000 people. Gatherings as of tomorrow will be limited to six people, bars and restaurants must close at 10pm and their capacity will be limited to 30% as will cinemas, theaters and libraries but supermarkets will be limited to 40%. Now unfortunately for Navara. They recorded their worst case numbers since the pandemic started. They actually recorded 463 new COVID cases on Saturday. So, that's what's put them in trouble. In the northeastern region of Catalonia, which is home to about seven and a half million people, Companies have been urged to encourage their employees to work from home for the next 15 days and Universities have also been asked to move their classes online for the next 15 days in order to reduce any social interactions. Spain's central government on Friday declared a state of emergency in the Madrid region to enforce a partial lockdown in and around the Spanish capital. Now, Madrid is currently one of Europe's COVID-19 hotspots. So they've been put into partial lockdown to stop the Madridleaños from traveling south, which is what I spoke to you about a few weeks ago. This particular weekend is a Bank Holiday weekend. In fact, today the day I'm broadcasting to you. Monday is a National Bank Holiday here and I believe that's for the Virgin Pillar now it's hard to keep track of these because there's so many virgins, and so many holidays. I think that's why Richard Branson named his company Virgin you know it's all starting to make sense.

Well social media strikes again, a Canadian businessman was left surprised and confused when Facebook pulled his ad, because his photo was flagged as an "overtly sexual image". The company submitted an ad to Facebook to promote his Walla Walla, Onions. Now these things kind of like spring onions in case you didn't know what they were. I didn't know what they were I had to Google them but the image they submitted was rejected by the social media giant because the photo was of the group of Onions was said to be overtly sexual. They got notified the other day about the image, and it was banned from the site, and the company think has something to do with the fact that it was two round shapes that could be misconstrued as boobs, or something like that. Now considering they look like spring onions Facebook's anti nudity algorithm, picked them up in an error and the company appealed to the of the decision of course I mean who wouldn't ? and the spokeswoman from Facebook confirmed the ads rejection was indeed an algorithm error. She said they use automated technology to keep nudity of our apps but sometimes it obviously doesn't know Walla Walla Onion from a pair of, well you know what, you get the idea. They did restore the ad, and they apologize for their error and any trouble caused, which is good to know, isn't it, but how many of us have seen offensive posts on Facebook, and they've done absolutely, absolutely nothing about it. I mean, and that's quite regular. Do us a favor Facebook, go look for criminals and terrorists, leave the WALLA WALLAS alone. I mean it just makes you wonder what the world's coming to.

Finally, I heard Prince Harry's on his way home, and Frogmore Cottage is being prepared. Anyone want to bet that Meghan and Archie won't be accompanying him ? I reckon hes being called back to get a slap on the wrist and told to rein it in, no pun intended. Okay, let me move my soapbox nearer. Someone needs to explain to this pair that you can't have members of the British Royal Family, getting involved in American politics. Royalty are supposed to remain impartial in British politics, let alone other countries which have nothing to do with us but our rogue Prince is not making the UK look too great and I gotta say, apart from any future damage he might also be doing. When you guys finally get Brexit together. Britain is going to want to do trade deals with the US, so it doesn't do for us any favors if you've got somebody upsetting whoever is sitting in the White House. Even if Orange is the New Black ! I'm guessing, as I lived in California for 15 years that without a Green Card Harry's visas expired, and he has to return for so many days to the UK before returning to the States or he's going to be facing a very, very big fine in taxes from the IRS for overstaying. So will the Queen give him a rap on the knuckles, that he deserves ? or should she stripped them of their titles, and then they can go and live their lives as Mr and Mrs Mountbatten-Windsor in Malibu in private, as they wanted to in the beginning, remember, and earn their own living like the rest of us. Ahhh except they have an incredible Netflix deal and they live in an 11.8 million dollar mansion in Malibu. Huh ! isn't life tough !

Okay, my lovely amigos. That's my news from sunny Spain. That's my rant of the week. So until next week, have a really good one, everybody. Be kind to others, unless they really wind you up. Stay safe and as always, Hasta luego from the Costa del Sol.

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Hola Funky Media listeners its Michelle/ Essex with this week's news on the Costa del Sol and it's day 205 in Spain of the current situation and to be honest, nothing much has really changed here over the last week, except for Storm Alex that blitzed through Malaga province this week. Its the first storm of the season that we've had, and didn't we know it. We went from 32 degrees on Thursday to a mere 22 degrees on Friday. Now, I know that doesn't sound really bad to those of you in the UK but 10 degree drop hit us like a brick. I went from my summer closet to my winter closet in a matter of hours. It was cold, it was massively windy. In some places the wind reached up to 70 kilometers per hour. Although we got hardly any rain. It sure did turn nippy, really really quick and then on Saturday we were back to sunshine and warmth. Now, I hope the sunshine and warm continues, but we could use some rain here, to be honest.

Now on a sad note the Hotel Yaramar in Fuengirola closed its doors on October the fourth, and is not due to reopen until April 2021, due to this awful pandemic. This is a first for the Yaramar, which is a very very popular adult only hotel. When I say adult only hotel I don't mean it's a kinky hotel for adults, I mean, they just don't take children under the age of 16 and it's normally open all year round, especially this time of year because you get your, what they call golden holidays. Your pensioners and stuff that are coming out to have a nice holiday, a bit of peace and quiet, not so many children around because they're back in school. So, it's really hard to see these giant chains closing down for the winter. I mean I can remember back in my days at Thomson holidays I booked a lot of people into the Yaramar over the winter. Now this of course is going to attack our economy even further here, and it's looking like tourism will be dead for the winter period here as well. Everyone seems to be focusing on Easter of next year and from what we understand the Spanish government is still in talks with the UK government to try and reach an agreement to ensure safe corridors of travel. Now, whatever that is, I hope they managed to sort it out, because they really need the tourism here it is really hurting out there there's a lot of places that are closing.

Now, moving on. There were some Syrian asylum seekers being left on the streets in Spain after being deported from the UK this week. The UK and EU governments are being accused of playing games with the lives of refugees. After asylum seekers were forced to spend a night on streets in Madrid, after being removed from Britain. Now, there's 11 men, all of whom recently cross the English Channel to Britain. I just want to reiterate that part, reiterate excuse me that part. Eleven men, all recently crossed the English Channel to Britain, and were forcibly removed from the UK on a charter flight last Thursday, under an EU law called the Dublin lll. Now, I completely get that you, from what I've heard you've got about 7000 asylum seekers, which are being housed in hotels, army barracks, and now they're even trying to figure out some sort of floating accommodation for them. So, I can, I could totally get, you know, but only 11, eleven out of 7000. My goodness, as I said, a few weeks ago, I always thought that you had to claim asylum in the first democratic country you came to. Now, one of the men filmed himself and other Syrian asylum seekers after arriving in Madrid. They were sitting on the ground with tarpaulin bags in broad daylight outside the airport. So that tells us that they've got smartphones, um they've got technology. I'm wondering where they're charging these things, to be honest. Another man said is, he has an aunt and cousins in the UK, but he's been refused entry. Immigration guards deported him to Spain, because he had an ongoing legal case here, that's fair enough if he'd already started the asylum seeking process off in Spain, then, yeah, absolutely. He should have continued here. He was placed in handcuffs and accompanied by five officers to the airport and placed on a flight. I think that was a little bit heavy handed personally, why they needed five officers, I don't know, I'm hoping he's not a danger that's been released in Spain but you know it's, it's just what you do with all these people it's just a really sad situation isn't it? The UK authorities told them the Spanish authorities would sort out their stuff in Spain. Good luck with that one because when you come to Spain, they are not going to put you in a four star hotel, they are not going to put you in army barracks, and they are certainly not going to put you on a cruise ship out on Malaga Port. So can't see that happening. The Home Office said it was under no obligation to monitor the treatment of asylum seekers who have returned to an EU country, which is responsible for their claim. I go along with a Home Office on that. Absolutely right they got claims in other countries, they should be deported back there.

Right, moving on. This made me laugh this week. A British Wildlife Park has removed five African Grey Parrots from public view, because of the fowls foul behavior. Now Lincolnshire Wildlife Park adopted the parrots about six weeks ago and put them in quarantine together and during their time together the birds have shared this ability to curse up a storm. According to Steve Nichols, the park CEO, he gets called a "Fat Tart" every time he walks past. Can you imagine. I mean, you wouldn't want to take a school trip up there and have little Barry and little Jenny called a "Fat Tart" as they are walking past these cages. Well, for the last 25 years they've taken in parrots that sometimes have a bit of blue language, but they've kind of gotten used to that and he says every now and then you'll get one this swears and it's funny, and they find it comical, and just by coincidence, they took in five parrots in the same week and because they were all quarantined together. It meant that one room was just full of swearing birds and the more they swear. The more, the employees laughed, which then triggers them to swear again and Nichols said that the cursing birds sounded like an old working men's club, they we just all swearing and laughing I mean can you absolutely imagine that, I bet that would be really hilarious. Although he and fellow Park employees found the whole thing funny, they did have to remove the cursing birds out of view before any visiting kids heard them. Ahh yeah, not very family friendly I gotta say. The birds have been moved now to different parts of the park. So at least they're like separated, lets separate the perpetrators. Nichols says that he hopes the cursing parrots learn nicer words from their new cage mates, because he dreads the alternative, and the alternative is, if they teach each other bad language, they will end up with 250 swearing birds and not a sign of a Partridge in a pear tree.

Right now I want to ask a question and this is something that really puzzles me and it's to do with vegetarians. Now, I don't want to offend any vegetarians, I personally am not a vegetarian. I eat what I want to eat but I understand why people become vegetarians, you know, it can be for a plant based diet because it's a healthy option or they're really dead serious about animal cruelty, but so far this week I've seen Burgers Sausages, Bacon, and "Tofurkey". Now, I understand that Burgers Sausages and Nuggets are shapes not animals, but what the heck is a Tofurky ? and how much nut roast can a person eat anyway ? Most of these products are wheat based which is no good for me cos I'm gluten intolerant so it wouldn't do for me to be a vegetarian. Although I do have a couple of vegetarian meals a week. You know, like a jacket potato with baked beans in it or an egg and cheese salad because to be honest, I'm a really lazy cow I hate cooking and if I don't have to cook I wont but I don't get why vegetarians need to make things taste like meat. I'd love somebody to explain this to me. For me, the big problem will start when they stop making wine, because of cruelty to grapes, all those people treading on them, its terrible. I might have to go on Twitter and start a new hashtag you know hashtag GLM, Grapes Lives Matter.

Well, that's it for this week. I'll be back with you next week with more stories and nutty news and of course, what's going on here on the Costa del Sol. Until then, I wish you all a great week. I hope you'll stay happy and healthy and from me Hasta Luego on the Costa del Sol.

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Hola everyone, its Michelle/Essex checking in with you from the Costa del Sol, I hope you're all doing well this week in our crazy new world. The temperatures here are beginning to drop. For me this is the perfect time of year. It's not so hot that everyone is moaning about the heat on Facebook like they have been for the last two or three months. It's just beautiful, but we can definitely see that Autumn is on its way and it's now getting darker earlier around 8pm. The days are lovely and warm and the nights are starting to cool down so the light jackets are starting to come out of the closets.

On my side of the coast as far as the virus is concerned. It all seems pretty calm here. In fact, I think the numbers are still quite low. In fact Mijas where I am, we got a thank you from our Mayor thanking us, the public for our exemplary behaviour. How about that, a pat on the back for being good citizens. Thank you very much Mr. Mayor.

Malaga local government is supposed to be distributing a further 532,000 masks this week to the town halls of the province. Municipalities of more than 20,000 inhabitants will receive 363,500 masks to be distributed. Now I have to say this is a pretty good scheme, back in April, every person in every household received a box with masks and hand sanitizer, in order to help maintain the safety of its residents. So for us, this will be the second delivery this year. So, I gotta say hats off to Malaga local government.

Now the Bank of Spain has downgraded its economic forecast, due to the rise in COVID infections. They're not expecting the economy to return to pre pandemic levels until 2023. That is one heck of a downer it's going to be a really long, three years and it's also beginning to have a bit of a knock on effect. Unfortunately, not a positive one. As figures of burglaries are on the rise and it seems that the robbers had a very busy weekend last weekend, robbing numerous homes, businesses and restaurants in the area and one of the businesses does actually have, I found out, clear CCTV footage and clear photos of one of the perpetrators. So personally, I hope they catch them and I hope they chop all their hands off. I mean it's just, it's so horrible it really angers me that you work so hard for what you have and some scumbag thinks it's okay to take it away from you. You feel so violated, it's awful. Where I live is a very quiet residential area. I've been here for over 10 years in this particular house, even though I've been in Spain 12 and we've had no problems but now it seems that things are starting to get a little crazy.

Fuengirola Port has been hit particularly hard with many people walking away from their businesses and bars closing. It's just no longer viable for them to carry on, after being hit so hard this year with the lack of tourism. It's really sad to see so many of them lose their livelihoods and just throw in the towel. Some of these owners I know personally, and they've been on the coast for many years but they just feel like they have no choice. They're just handing in the keys.

In contrast, Madrid is still facing problems and a further 8 cities have been locked down making that a total of 45 regions. The reason the numbers are much higher in Madrid is because of their dense living situation. Here in the Costa del Sol, things are more spread out. In Malaga people tend to live in apartment blocks. It's a big major city and so therefore people are on top of each other. There is a threat that if the numbers don't start to reduce they will eventually close the entire Province, which is not good, considering the Government of Spain.. ....yes, you guessed it, it's in Madrid, and they may also stop the Madrileños from crossing the border in order to wait it out in their second homes in the Provinces of like Alacanté and Malaga. If they test positive for the virus.

Now, I'm getting very frustrated at the moment with all the diversity that seems to be spreading throughout the world. Forgive me if I sound a little impolitically correct, but I feel at a time when we should all be helping one another. We're being divided and conquered and put into little boxes of race, religion, sexism, ageism, I think, in fact, if you have an opinion or you want to speak about anything you have an ism. I just think it's sad that we can't all respect one another and live and let live. People or people we're not born with these thoughts. They're a learned behaviour. Surely, at this time in our lives we should be tolerant and help one another get through the most difficult time in our history.

On a lighter note I had the pleasure of visiting the lakes in El Chorro this week. I have to say it's so beautiful there. The scenery is amazing. Hubby took me for a picnic and a pedal boat ride on the lakes, very romantic. It was a lovely chill out day, something that we don't get to do very often that we really should do more of and the location is absolutely breathtaking. I can't reveal any more at this time of what we were doing up there but I will alert you in January/February, when everything will become clear to you to see and you will also see me podcasting. At the moment I'm under the contract keep my big gob schtuum but when you get a chance to visit Spain. I highly recommend visiting the lakes in El Chorro in Ardales. It's about an hour and a bit drive from Malaga. And the views are breathtaking. In fact, we're thinking of having a short break there with Lolly our dog, as there are a number of pet friendly hotels up there.

Now living in Spain comes with hazards. One being mosquito bites you know the little beggars that come out at night for your blood. Well apparently a spoonful of sugar may help keep the medicine down and according to new research, that has pinpointed a protein in the disease carrying mosquitoes that can curb their attraction to human blood. According to new research feeding sugar to mosquitoes affects the protein enough that these blood suckers temporarily keep from biting humans. Yeah, that's what I need. No wonder I'm constantly being bitten. I've got a very big Skittles addiction. Mosquitoes look at me as their personal Smorgasbord. They jump off people to get to me.

While female Tiger mosquitoes must suck blood to gain the energy necessary to develop their eggs. They also feed on sugar from plant nectars or SAP. So researchers wanted to see whether a bellyful of sugar might reduce their vampiric urges. They fed a solution of sugar to young female mosquitoes, then they put 10 to 12 of these little beggars in a plastic cup, and they put the open side of this to their hands to see how interested the mosquitoes would be in taking the bait. What a job to have, I'm a mosquito checker. Mosquitoes are particularly attracted to humans, often living in urban areas, like me. Thank goodness I manufacture mosquito screens and they can transmit a number of nasty diseases and that tell you that bites aren't too great either. By the way, did you know that it's only the female pregnant mosquitoes that bite.

Now, on the funnier side of the news this week. It's time to go food related and this is a gooden.

How do you fancy a new crispy, salty, snack ? Pharmacists have dev not pharmacists...lol physicists have devised a preparation method that transforms gelatinous Jellyfish into crisps and it may help make Jellyfish, a more common food....errr I don't think so. I can't imagine hunkering down to watch my favourite movie with a bag of Jellyfish crisps. Certain species of jellyfish are presently eated in various cultures eated ? eaten in various cultures primarily in Asia. No kidding ? They'll eat anything. Not that the Spanish don't have their own strange eating habits I want to add. Jellyfish may be prepared in a variety of ways but fresh Jellyfish can spoil at room temperature. I bet they can bloody sting too ! So they can be soaked in a salty solution for 20 days or more and then dried and then that preparation process leaves the Jellyfish with a texture that researchers described as being like a pickled cucumber. That sounds completely gross. Can you imagine being a taster in one of these labs. However, they have a new method. It not only offers a more rapid way of preparing Jellyfish, but also produces a new crisp texture, more like a potato that might appeal... To who ? Seriously, would you guys be interested in eating a bag of Jellyfish crisps ? I cannot wait to see Gary Lineker advertising these. I wonder if they'll do them in different flavours

You know, sometimes I read these stories that I have to think why. Here's another one an Illinois man celebrated an unusual milestone last Tuesday for 60 years, 60 years he's been holding on to an old sandwich that former President Richard Nixon took a bite out of. Steve Jenne from a small town in America, of course, was a 14 year old boy scout, who was then like asked to serve in the honour guard when the then vice president made a campaign stop to his hometown. On September, the 22nd 1960 and that was ahead of his speech in a place called Wyman Park. Nixon was served a Barbecue Buffalo sandwich, which sounds a lot more delicious than Jellyfish, on a paper plate during a cookout and when he was finished, Jenne, snatched up the leftovers. So like once Nixon left. He looks down at the picnic table. Everyone's gone and he thinks, Ill grab that half eaten sandwich. So he takes a half eaten sandwich and he runs home to his Mom, oh by the way tasted the sandwich, he tasted the sandwich because he commented on how tasty and good it was. I'm not sure I take a bite out somebody else's sandwich. Anyway, he then runs home to his mom and he says Mom, Mom, I got a sandwich that Nixon took a bite out of and she was so surprised and she said, pretty much what I would say. "What do you want me to do with it ?". So he said "Freeze it". His mother than wrapped up the sandwich even a plastic bag and put it inside an applesauce jar and stuck it in the freezer. Ever since then, he has kept that sandwich frozen. He even got a guest appearance on an episode of The Tonight Show with the legendary Johnny Carson in 1988, and then went on to publish a book called "The Sandwich That Changed My Life", about the whole wacky story. Now I wonder if anyone is going to be looking for any uneaten Trump sandwiches this year or maybe that would be a little too hard to swallow. Maybe a little bit of Humble Pie would be more appropriate. Well my friends. That's all for this week. I will be back with you next week with more insights and nutty news. Until then, have a fabulous week. Be kind to each other because you never know who you're going to be sitting next to in that old folks home. Stay safe, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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Hola Funky Media listeners it's Michelle/Essex Bird with my weekly check in from the Costa del Sol.  Thank goodness things have cooled down here this week. We actually had a bit of rain on Friday. You know the craziest thing. I never did this in the UK. but the minute the rain started to fall here, I ran outside to stand in it and I've got to say it felt great and all my neighbors came outside and everybody's jumping up and down excitedly, screaming "It's raining it's raining"  I can't ever remember doing that in Essex. It’s amazing how a little water from the sky can cause so much excitement. I think the last time we had rain here was actually last May.

 

Unfortunately COVID numbers have gone up here just like in the UK but it's nothing like what's being reported on your news channels, I want to put you straight. The majority of cases are in Madrid, and the north of Spain.  They have now put 37 regions of Madrid in lockdown again, which, I got to say it is a little bit of a relief for us living in the south, where the numbers are quite low. A lot of Madridleaños, that's what they call the people from Madrid, by the way. Madridleaños have holiday homes down here and ... you know here on the Costa del Sol, so hopefully it will keep our numbers down and get things back under control. Although the Province of Andalucía are keeping their eye on the situation and if there is a rising in cases in Malaga province. Then you know what's going to happen but at the moment they're putting it down to tourism hotspots. As usual I don't mean to sound condescending but it's mainly due to the younger people coming here and partying like the world is normal, and they're invincible. The economy here isn't doing great. Unfortunately and at the moment unemployment, of course is up. Businesses are hurting from the lack of tourism this year. It's really quite heart wrenching to see some of the Brits, and the Spanish, who have built a business and put their blood sweat and tears into it, only to have to walk away from it and hand in the keys. It's just so sad and we have noticed that the price of food has gone up slightly as well, but I guess that was bound to happen.

 

There are a couple of places that I got to say are totally take into the urine here. They have added a COVID tax and I'm not going to I'm not going to name and shame, but they've added a COVID tax to their bills but let me tell you something this is totally illegal. They're justifying it by saying, it's because they have to supply hand sanitizer and take extra disinfecting procedures, but those places are being found out and they're being stopped. We didn't get the "Eat Out to Help Out" deal here, like you guys got in the UK. So for me, I think it's just a bloody liberty making up a tax and adding it to the bill. Of course if you call them out. You could refuse to pay it. So life here is a little bit different, right now but we all have to keep that stiff upper lip mentality and exercise a bit of common sense and just get on with it really i mean what else can you do?

 

 Also this week we had a 4.1 earthquake. The epicenter was just 6 kilometers off the coast of Fuengirola and was about 60 kilometers deep. Now, this natural phenomenon was felt in Fuengirola, Torremolinos and Mijas where I live. Although I have to say, the earth didn't move for me. No damage thankfully was recorded. This is the 5th earthquake we've had and the biggest one recorded this year. Now, earthquakes really do worry me actually, I spent 15 years living in California, where they're very, very prevalent. In fact, I was there for the big Northridge Quake in 1994, which was a magnitude of 6.7. on the Richter scale and he did a lot of damage and it can be really scary when it's happening because you never know how strong it's going to be or how long it's going to go on for.  So you've got like a couple of different types of earthquake you've got the ones that like jolt and crack or you've got the ones that rumble, that you don't know when they're going to end but once you've had an earthquake, you're then usually on alert for the next few days because of tremors. So right that's, you know, hopefully everything will be cool, that's enough of the bad stuff let's move on to something lighter

 

Now you know how much I love a mad news story and I've got a couple for you this week. I personally I think there should be a news channel designated to these crazy stories across the world because I think we'd all have a really good laugh. So, this week, a man took to Twitter to share a snap of the confusing instructions that were printed on the back of a Chopping Board that he purchased. Now I'm not going to name the store is a very well-known store. He noticed a sticker on the back of it, that advised users against using it as a Chopping Board. Well he was more than confused. You would be wouldn't you?  I mean, you go into a shop you buy a Chopping Board and it's not fit for purpose. I mean, what the heck?  So the warning, it’s got a warning label on the back, it says, wood chopping board in big bold letters and then it says, wipe clean only, wipe up spills immediately to avoid staining. Do not soak. Do not use as a chopping board!! Well the man shared the picture up to Twitter and all he wrote above it was like, Errrr.......which is probably what I would have put too, unsurprisingly his posts received plenty of attention from the fellow, Peeps, you know, fellow tweeters, who were actually trying to work out what the purpose of the board actually was.  One person put underneath.... "ha-ha jumping board instructions, clear as COVID guidelines" another one  said "it's  obviously a JUST FOR SHOW chopping board"  and then a third person added  "It's not a chopping board for veg, It's a karate chop chopping board to prove how strong you are" aha crazy absolutely nuts. What is the point of buying a chopping board you can't chop on?

 

Now if that wasn't a strange enough. This is the weirdest story of the week, slowing it down, is an understatement. Now if I pronounce this place right but fans flocked to St Bachardy Church in Germany last weekend, when the world's slowest musical composition, changed chords for the first time in seven years. Seven, bloody long years for one chime. It's been 19 years since this piece, which is called "As Slow as Possible", no kidding.  it's a piece that was composed by an American called John Cage. He began, and not he began sorry, they began playing here at the church on an organ, specifically built for its extremely slow tempo. The song was designed to take 639 years to finish with a projected end time of the year, 2640, which means that none of us are ever going to hear this thing in its entirety. The performance that began in 2001 is so slow it once had an 18-month long pause, ahh try listening to that on your iPod. Impossible! Even though no one will ever hear this piece, it's gathered quite a worldwide following, both in person and via Livestream. I just can't imagine, you know, waiting for this to happen. According to the project's website fans, watch the momentous chord change last weekend. Oh my gosh, how exciting is that?  I mean, imagine calling to your partner. Quick come in from the kitchen come in, you're going to miss it, you’re going to miss it. We're going to go to the church, or we'll miss the chime, unbelievable. They've waited seven years for this to change. Now they're going to have to wait a little bit longer for the next chime, as it's not due until the end of 2022. This musical piece represents "slowness during a fast-paced era", and a symbol of confidence in the future. I mean seriously what does that even mean? I don't get it. I thought waiter service here was slow in Spain, but this takes the biscuit absolutely.

 

Anyway, I've had a really great week. I've had a charity luncheon with a Neil Diamond tribute and if you remember a couple of weeks ago I told you a story about some people that started "Rock the Lockdown", which kept us all going during that quarantine period and last night I got the pleasure to go and see them live. The wonderful Ollie Hughes, and Lucy Pardoe and I got to say it was absolutely a brilliant, brilliant night, we got there and first we had a temperature taken and then we went through the hand gel sanitizer station and then we were shown to the VIP area! which was absolutely great. I had no idea we were going to be at the VIP area. We had an absolutely fantastic view. The show was absolutely fabulous I think it was really a night that we really all needed. It was just so good, so well-done Lucie and Ollie, once again, you wowed the crowd. Anyway, that's all my news for this week. I hope you guys have an absolutely fabulous week, enjoy your lives, please stay safe. Hasta luego from the Costa del Sol

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