Hola Funky Media listeners from the Costa del Sol. Yes, it's me, Michelle/Essex again with this week's roundup of what's happening here in Spain or any other madness in the world I've come across this week and you know I probably have. Well, it is March and isn't March known for his madness ?
Firstly, I should recognise that it is a Bank holiday here today. Today is Andalucia day. Well, actually, yesterday was Andalucia day it falls on February 28th but as it was a Sunday they've carried it over to the Monday. In short, this holiday commemorates the ´Statue of Autonomy of Andalucia. It's when the Andalician people voted to make this province and autonomous community of Spain, back in 1980. Any excuse for a day off here. They do like a holiday bless the Spanish.
In truth it´s been another pretty crap weekend weather wise and most of last week being overcast, cold and gloomy. Kind of reminded me a home. Sorry people in the UK. I know it's far colder where you are but when the sun doesn't come out here, us British do like to have a good moan. The Spanish are like really cool with it, they seem to like it. And considering we have about 320 days of sunshine a year, I guess I shouldn't moan but I hate the cold and this stuff is just so depressing when it's grey and gloomy.
In Andalucia the COVID rate is down considerably to 217 people diagnosed per 100,000 inhabitants, which is great news, considering our third wave of the pandemic, the number here was 959 and that was just at the beginning of February, so things are definitely headed in the right direction. Our hospital pressure is now down to about 10% and our ICU levels have dropped to about 23% so that's a break for the NHS which I'm sure they badly need, and it's good news for all of us. Andalucia has administered 626,659 doses, since the vaccine campaign started. Vaccinations have now been supposedly distributed to all of group one, you know, the key workers the care homes, etc. These groups are now essentially complete. The Ministry of Health and Families has already determined, where the vaccine points for COVID-19 vaccinations will be located and there'll be 45 health centres and 37 hospitals that will dispense the vaccine, made up of 177 teams with 526 nursing professionals. Now, 73 of these are going to be mobile, in order to be able to reach the nursing homes and vaccinate all the residents and their workers in the first couple of weeks that are like out of the way. The president of Andalucia, Juanma Moreno said last weekend, he hoped to have half of the Andalucian population of 8 million people vaccinated by early summer. Now I'd like to be able to believe that but it seems like it's going to be a very slow rollout here unfortunately, although there is more vaccine arriving here weekly, maybe even daily, as I said before, logistics was always going to be the problem. Opinions are a little mixed out there but there's not a lot of anti vaxxers I've got to say judging by the people I've spoken to.
Anyway, putting the pandemic statistics aside, nothing terribly exciting has been happening here. I mean how can it ? We're all under the same restrictions as the last few weeks. Eating lunch for dinner is becoming the new norm now, we're all getting used to that and people here I'm glad to say are abiding by the rules but what choice do we have ? British products are still having trouble getting over to our shores and stores. So I still haven't seen a Scotch Egg and there seems to be a Sausage crisis looming, it seems we're about to have "Sausage Gate" here on the Costa del Sol in southern Spain but we've been assured that there is a new supply route and things will be rectifying themselves soon. I don't know, maybe they're going to go the Pablo Escobar route and smuggle Tea bags and Custard Creams in to Spain, through alternate routes now, I've no idea. I did see plenty of jars of Pickled Eggs on the shelf in the supermarket that "all mums go to" but, who in the hell eats those things. Honestly, I can't think of one good reason to pickle an egg, let alone, eat one that is absolutely awful. Why do people pickle them in the first place ? They're vile !!
I did manage to get a frozen Pie, Mash and Liquor TV dinner. Now, unless you're from the south of the UK, this is gonna be totally lost on you but it's one of the things that I majorly miss from the UK. I think up north, you guys have Pie, Mash and Gravy, so I've been told but for me, you can't beat authentic Pie and Mash, which sadly brings me to another thing. The Pie and Mash shops are disappearing off the British High Streets. Personally I think they should be given heritage status. The old Pie and Mash shops go way back in London.
Now, I know you're all gagging to know out there what else has been happening in our world this week that we're not seeing on our tellies, well, funny you should ask that, a 66 year old Irish man plunged into freezing waters this week and swam for a mile to claim a Guinness World Book record as the world's oldest Ice Mile swimmer. Have you any idea how cold the Mediterranean is at this time of year ? let alone an ice lake. Now, I don't know about you but I won't get in the pool until June when the waters warmed up. You know what one of the biggest lies in the world that people tell you, it always occurs around swimming pools, you're just getting in and there's gonna be one person that turns around and says to you "It's alright oce you're in". No......No, it isn't !! They're lying ! and it's cold enough to make your bits freeze off. Anyway, back to the story at hand, Ger Purcell from Corbally, in Limerick and that's in Ireland, (I hope I pronounced that correctly), God bless him he said he trained for several months to swim in frigid waters and he broke the record during the Ice Mile Challenge at the Shannon Rowing Club in Limerick. You'd want a hot Bovril or two after that wouldn't you ? The Guinness rules state that the swim has to be done continuously without any breaks and the water temperature has to be verified as below 23 degrees. Below 23 degrees !! Water !! Now, I'm a strong swimmer, in fact, in my youth I was captain of a swim team at school and I participated in quite a few swimming gala´s but there is nothing in this world that could entice me into a frozen Pond Lake or a Bathtub for that matter. The story didn't go on to say whether he'd done it for charity. If he did, I hope he got tons of donations or if he´d just done it to get into the Guinness Book of World Records or whether he'd acquired frostbite on his nether regions, however, Purcell finished his swim in 43 minutes and 28 seconds, which makes him the world's oldest Ice Mile swimmer confirmed by Guinness, so well done, mate. Congratulations. That certainly takes some balls.
Meanwhile over in California and here comes the "only in America bit".... A man was caught using the Carpool lane using a mannequin as a passenger. Ingenius I thought but I don't think the Policia in California were none too impressed. The California Highway Patrol said the driver was using the high occupancy vehicle lane of the highway and that it was one of the best dummies the Police had ever seen. They pulled him over in a place called Baldwin Park which is in Southern California for travelling in the carpool lane but the truck had tinted windows, so it made it hard for the police officer to see in, so obviously the officer has asked him to lower the windows and when the officer looked into the truck, he then see´s what looks like a man sitting in the passenger seat, which he said was actually a highly realistic mannequin, complete with a COVID 19 mask. He'd even put a mask on it. Unbelievable !! Well, at least he was being complicit to President Biden's 100 day mask request. You've got to give him kudos for that. That's a lot of work to go to in order to cheat the system. In California, the Freeways get choked up so much, like the parking lot they call the M25 in the UK. So they have carpool lanes on the freeways and in California, it just makes it easier for people to get to work and a lot of people carpool. Anyway clever or not and I thought it was pretty inventive, he was issued a ticket for an HOV, which in layman's terms is a ´High Occupancy Vehicle´ violation and carries a maximum fine of $490 which is about 350 GB pounds or around 400 Euros. Bit of an expensive ride to work if you ask me, and I bet the police officer that left him with a. "Have a nice day Sir" because they always do that, they're always so polite after they've written you up. I know because I've picked up a couple of speeding tickets myself when I lived in California.
Funny enough is a bit like here in Spain, except you don't argue with the cops here. They carry weapons, and they look hard. So the best thing to do is be polite, not smart and suck it up. Mind you, some of the Policia here, could be counted as pin up material so it's not all bad. However, some of them don't come up to your car and say "Good day, madam, can I see your licence". They come up screaming at you, which can be quite intimidating and overwhelming and they mean business. I once had an experience over here, when I first moved over, where I got stopped by The Guardia Civil and I felt the need to explain to the officer that I was a good person, that I didn't have any illegal immigrants in the boot of the car or any other contraband, you know, maybe even show him a few family snaps to soften him up because he was so formidable, he scared the flippin life out of me but for the most part, as long as you cooperate with them, they're fine. Long gone are the days in Spain where you used to slip em a few Pesetas into their hand. They don't stand for any of that malarkey anymore. That will get you in a whole heap of trouble. Compliance is always the best thing you can do.
Well, as it comes to a close on this week's episode. I will be back next week with some more riveting and breaking mad news for you all. I'm praying the sun comes out so we can go back to some kind of normal cos I am fed up of going out looking like the Michelin Man, and coming home like Twiggy with an arm full of clothing. I wish you all a fab week and stay safe out there, wherever you may be. Until next week from me, Michelle, as always, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.
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