Midlife AF Podcast
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Midlife AF Podcast episodes

  • Episode 17: The Thing That Changes Everything - Get Support - Dry July, No Drama

    Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

    Episode 17: The Thing That Changes Everything - Get Support - Dry July, No Drama

    I asked my membership group what their top tips were for a really great Dry July - one that actually feels good. And every single one of them said the same thing.

    Community. Getting support. Not doing it alone.

    I remember what a big deal it felt like to make the decision to spend money on a group program. But it changed everything for me.

    Because when you are in community:

    • You stay accountable
    • You no longer think it is a you problem
    • You begin to understand that alcohol is an addictive substance to anybody given the right set of circumstances
    • You stop believing it is a personal moral failure - something you just need to try harder at or have more willpower for
    • You realise we are all the same, all navigating the same stuff
    • And everything changes.

      Whether it is my program or somebody else's - free or paid - I cannot recommend finding support and community in this journey highly enough. It is one of the biggest indicators of how successful your change will be and how long lasting it will be.

      This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

      If you would like to test out my community, the FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset is the perfect place to start - a judgement-free space to experience what it feels like to be supported in this journey. See links below:

      FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

      1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
      2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
      3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
      4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
      5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

        Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
        Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
        WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

        Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
        I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
        REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

        Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
        I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
        YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

        Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

        8 min
      6. Episode 16: You Are Where You Put Your Attention - Dry July, No Drama

        Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

        Episode 16: You Are Where You Put Your Attention - Dry July, No Drama

        You are where you put your attention. So put your attention in the right places.

        Preparation is everything. You can absolutely go into denial and drink as much as you can before 1 July hits and then go "right, that's it" - but while you do that, start immersing yourself in the culture too.

        Read some of the books. My favourites, in order of preference:

        • Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker
        • We Are the Luckiest by Laura McKowen
        • This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
        • Follow podcasts like mine - MidlifeAF - or I also love Sober Awkward, Present and Sober Podcast, and How I Quit Alcohol. Follow social media people who are on the sober curious journey.

          Surround yourself with information from people who have walked this path before you - and have learnt the things that will help you get where you want to go. Wherever that is.

          You can hear all 30 of these daily tips throughout July on my MidlifeAF Podcast Mini Series - wherever you get your podcasts.

          This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

          Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
          I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol. See links below:

          FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

          1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
          2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
          3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
          4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
          5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

            Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
            Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
            WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

            Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
            I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
            REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

            Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
            I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
            YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

            Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

            8 min
          6. Episode 15: Be Your Own Personal Assistant - Plan Ahead - Dry July, No Drama

            Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

            Episode 15: Be Your Own Personal Assistant - Plan Ahead - Dry July, No Drama

            This is a practical one - and it is more important than it sounds.

            Having a plan makes your brain and body feel safe. It creates certainty. It removes the daily decision-making that drains your willpower before the evening even starts.

            So in the lead up to Dry July - whether you are doing the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment with me, someone else's program, or going it alone - schedule the time you want to dedicate to this and build the rest of your world around it.

            That might look like:

            • Blocking out time for a breathwork practice
            • Scheduling your journaling prompts
            • Getting your group coaching calls in the diary
            • Protecting the time before it gets filled with everything else
            • Your brain loves to know what is coming. When it does, it stops scanning for threats - and that is when real change becomes possible.

              Be the personal assistant your future self deserves.

              This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

              My North Star Visualisation is perfect for getting your brain on board with what is coming - it stops the panic before it starts. See links below:

              FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

              1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
              2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
              3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
              4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
              5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                8 min
              6. Episode 14: Treat Yourself Like a Sick Child - Dry July, No Drama

                Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                Episode 14: Treat Yourself Like a Sick Child - Dry July, No Drama

                When you are taking a break from alcohol, prepare your evenings like you would for a child who is sick and needs looking after.

                Your evening preparation list:

                • Get some lovely new pyjamas
                • Make sure you have clean sheets and a bedroom that feels nice to come home to
                • When you get in - shower, bath, clean your teeth
                • Get into your cosiest clothes
                • Make yourself a lovely cup of something warm
                • Get into bed as soon as possible
                • I know what you are thinking. But I am an adult. I deserve to stay up late. I should be able to sit on the couch with a glass of wine like a grown up.

                  Here is the thing - a lot of people drink in the evening because otherwise it doesn't feel like they have given themselves permission to stop. To rest. To be done for the day.

                  Being an adult is also about knowing how to take care of yourself.

                  And treating yourself like a sick child - with gentleness, with warmth, with a really good bedtime routine - is one of the most radical things you can do for your nervous system when you are taking a break from alcohol.

                  This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                  My Grounding Audio is perfect for that wind-down moment when you would normally reach for a drink - it gives your nervous system exactly what it is actually looking for. See links below:

                  FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                  1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                  2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                  3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                  4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
                  5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                    Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                    Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                    WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                    Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                    I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                    REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                    Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                    I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                    YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                    Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                    8 min
                  6. Episode 13: If You Have to Drink to Enjoy It - You Probably Don't - Dry July, No Drama

                    Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                    Episode 13: If You Have to Drink to Enjoy It - You Probably Don't - Dry July, No Drama

                    If you have to drink to do something or enjoy something - you probably don't actually enjoy it.

                    It was only when I took a break from drinking for a year that I realised half the things I was doing in my life I didn't actually enjoy. There was something about them that wasn't really working for me - and alcohol was the thing that made them bearable.

                    My rule of thumb: if I have to drink, it's usually because:

                    • I don't like doing the thing
                    • I don't like the people involved
                    • There is something about myself I don't feel confident enough to show up as
                    • I am too tired to be present
                    • This is fawning. This is people pleasing. And alcohol is the biggest mask of them all.

                      Because it allows us to do things we don't really want to do - while appearing to be having the time of our lives.

                      Unfortunately it often takes having a break to realise this. And one of the hardest things for people taking a break is:

                      • Advocating for themselves
                      • Saying no
                      • Taking up space
                      • Asking to be considered
                      • Risking the disapproval of others
                      • This can feel very unsafe to our nervous system - and honestly it is the biggest reason people don't get through a month's break.

                        So here is the question worth sitting with:

                        Look at all the things you feel you can't cope with without a drink. Start asking - what would it be like to do them without drinking? What would be hard?

                        More often than not we have to make some changes to our lives to allow us to take a break - and it is worth working out what those changes might be before you start.

                        This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                        My free watch-on-demand masterclass talks about exactly this - and will help you work out what needs to shift before your break begins. See links below:

                        FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                        1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                        2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                        3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                        4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
                        5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                          Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                          Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                          WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                          Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                          I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                          REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                          Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                          I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                          YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                          Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                          8 min
                        6. Episode 12: Get Out of Struggle Speak and Into Choice - Dry July, No Drama

                          Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                          Episode 12: Get Out of Struggle Speak and Into Choice - Dry July, No Drama

                          If you think it's going to be hard, it will be. That's cognitive bias. You know that feeling when you wake up in a bad mood and everything goes to sh*t? People do the same thing with taking a break from alcohol - and it makes everything so much harder.

                          Struggle language keeps you in willpower. Choice language gets you out.

                          • It's not "I can't drink." It's "I don't want to right now."
                            • It's not "I'm battling this." It's "I'm choosing to explore what I really need when I reach for a wine."
                            • It's not stepping into the sludge of trying. It's the clean step of choosing.
                            • Think about the difference between these two experiences:

                              • When you are lost in something and time disappears - that is flow
                              • When you are pushing against something with every ounce of energy you have - that is resistance
                              • Flow is connected to presence. Resistance lives in the past or the future.

                                Here's what most people don't know: a craving or a trigger is actually your body desperately trying to ground itself - to come back to the present moment. Struggle language takes you further away from that. Presence brings you home.

                                This is exactly why as part of the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment this year we are running a present moment awareness breathwork practice alongside the program - to support everyone in learning how to live in presence rather than resistance.

                                This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                                My Grounding Audio is your first step out of struggle and into presence - and it will help you identify the unmet need underneath the craving before it reaches for a drink. See links below:

                                FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                                1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                                2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                                3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                                4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
                                5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                                  Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                                  Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                                  WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                  Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                                  I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                                  REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                  Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                                  I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                                  YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                  Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                                  8 min
                                6. Episode 11: You Are Not the Problem - But You Are the Solution - Dry July, No Drama

                                  Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                                  Episode 11: You Are Not the Problem - But You Are the Solution - Dry July, No Drama

                                  Our culture convinces us from the minute we are born that we are the problem. This is perpetuated by:

                                  • Everything we see on TV
                                  • All the stories from AA
                                  • Families having interventions
                                  • Our culture's concept of discipline
                                  • The idea that drinking more than we would like is a sign of weak character - a lack of willpower
                                  • But the neuroscience shows that is absolutely not true.

                                    Alcohol is an addictive substance to anybody who drinks it long enough and often enough. And the amount you have to drink for it to start working in a way that makes you want it even when you prefer not to have it - is actually a very low quantity.

                                    The main reason people start drinking more than they want has nothing to do with that.

                                    It is because they start associating the relief from discomfort - the relief from emotional or physical pain - with alcohol.

                                    The big alcohol companies have done a very good job of convincing us that the problem lies with the person. Their "drink responsibly" campaign runs everywhere and continues to convince people that alcohol is a people problem - not a substance problem, coupled with a cultural and societal problem.

                                    Anybody who works in psychology will tell you: a problematic behaviour is always the symptom of the problem - not the problem itself.

                                    And this is true when we drink more than we would like.

                                    The longer we stay stuck in the cycle of self-recrimination and self-flagellation, the longer we stay stuck drinking more than we want:

                                    • It stops us being able to look at the data
                                    • It causes our nervous system to become dysregulated
                                    • We are attacking ourselves from the inside
                                    • We cannot make good decisions from that place
                                    • The thing that changes everything is when we stop blaming ourselves and start looking at the data.

                                      This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                                      My Awareness Worksheets are the perfect tool for starting to look at that data without judgement - and without the self-blame that keeps us stuck. See links below:

                                      FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                                      1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                                        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                                      2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                                        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                                      3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                                        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                                      4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                                        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
                                      5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                                        Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                                        Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                                        WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                        Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                                        I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                                        REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                        Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                                        I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                                        YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                        Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                                        8 min
                                      6. Episode 10: Can't Do It Without a Drink? Here's What That's Really About - Dry July, No Drama

                                        Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                                        Episode 10: Can't Do It Without a Drink? Here's What That's Really About - Dry July, No Drama

                                        Start noticing the places where you don't just want a drink. You feel like you need one in order to do the thing at all.

                                        • To get yourself to the party when you are already running on empty
                                        • To sit at the dinner table
                                        • To push through when every part of you wants to stop
                                        • To feel confident enough to just show up
                                        • To tolerate a situation - or a person - that costs you something 

                                        • If alcohol is what makes those things doable - that is not a drinking problem.

                                          That is a sign that somewhere along the way your needs stopped being allowed to matter. And a lot of us have been doing that for so long we don't even know we have needs anymore.

                                          This is grey area drinking at its most invisible. It is not about the alcohol. It is about everything the alcohol is doing for you that nothing else has been allowed to do.

                                          So the tip here is not to stop drinking. It is to start noticing:

                                          • Where do you have to drink to do something?
                                          • What is that something asking you to suppress?
                                          • What would it mean to let your needs matter in that moment instead?
                                          • You matter most. Full stop.

                                            This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                                            My Awareness Worksheets - perfect for exactly this kind of noticing - and my Grounding Audio, which will help you identify the unmet need underneath the craving before it reaches for a drink. See links below:

                                            FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                                            1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                                            2. hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                                              1. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                                              2. hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

                                                1. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                                                2. hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                                                  1. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                                                  2. hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                                                    READY TO GO DEEPER?

                                                    Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                                                    WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                                    Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                                                    REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                                    Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                                                    YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE:

                                                    hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                                    Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                                                    8 min
                                                  3. EPISODE 9: How to Finally Commit to a Break from Alcohol - No Willpower Required - Dry July, No Drama

                                                    Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                                                    EPISODE 9: How to Finally Commit to a Break from Alcohol - No Willpower Required - Dry July, No Drama

                                                    There is an Afrikaans word - soutpiel - which literally translates to salt willy. It describes someone with a foot in two places, not fully committed to either. One foot in South Africa, one foot in Britain - leaving their willy in the ocean.

                                                    Trying not to get banned on IG.

                                                    It is a long-winded but perfectly apt description of trying to cut back on drinking without making a firm decision.

                                                    A maybe is always a yes.

                                                    As Yoda says - there is no try, just do. Trying, by its very nature, holds failure in its raison d'etre. Try and stand up right now. You can't - you either stand up or you don't.

                                                    A decision does something completely different:

                                                    • It gets you out of willpower and into choice
                                                    • It frees your brain up for more interesting things to hyper-focus on
                                                    • It stops the exhausting daily negotiation with yourself about whether you are going to drink tonight
                                                    • If you are struggling to make the decision to take a sober curious break, sit with this question:

                                                      What is not making that decision keeping me safe from experiencing?

                                                      I would love to hear your answer. If you would like to you can email me at [email protected]

                                                      This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                                                      My free resources below will help you prepare for and get the most out of your break. See links below: 

                                                      FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

                                                      1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

                                                      hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                                                      2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

                                                      hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in 

                                                      3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                                                      hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                                                      4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                                                      hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                                                      READY TO GO DEEPER? 

                                                      Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                                                      WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                                      Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                                                      REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                                      Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                                                      YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                                      Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. 

                                                      8 min
                                                    • EPISODE 8: The Real Reason You Keep Reaching for a Drink - It's Not What You Think - Dry July, No Drama

                                                      Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                                                      EPISODE 8: The Real Reason You Keep Reaching for a Drink - It's Not What You Think - Dry July, No Drama

                                                      You have heard of fight, flight and freeze - the nervous system safety responses.

                                                      There is a fourth: fawning - or masking. And alcohol is the biggest mask of them all.

                                                      The body and brain very quickly learn that drinking allows us to mask and pretend to be the human that society told us we should be - rather than the human we actually are. This is one of the most overlooked reasons people struggle to cut back on drinking.

                                                      I hear this from clients all the time: I don't know why I drink. I know it's hurting me but I just keep choosing it.

                                                      Like children, people do well when they can. When they feel safe to.

                                                      These are not moral failings. They are very valid reasons for reaching for a drink:

                                                      • Not feeling confident socially without the bravado barrier of wine
                                                      • An inner critic that makes being with yourself feel unbearable
                                                      • Needing to push through exhaustion and overwhelm
                                                      • Drinking as the only way to give yourself permission to stop and rest
                                                      • This is grey area drinking at its core - and it is far more common than anyone talks about.

                                                        The job here is not to solve any of this tonight. It is simply to notice - and to hold yourself with the same compassion you would give a scared child. That is where the freedom begins.

                                                        This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                                                        My Grounding Audio will help you identify the unmet need underneath the craving before it reaches for a drink. See links below: 

                                                        FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

                                                        1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

                                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                                                        2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

                                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

                                                        3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                                                        4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                                                        READY TO GO DEEPER? 

                                                        Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                                                        WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                                        Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                                                        REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                                        Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                                                        YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                                        Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. 

                                                         

                                                        8 min

                                                      About Midlife AF Podcast

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                                                      Finding Your Groove Without Booze