Midlife AF Podcast

Midlife AF Podcast

By Emma GilmourSociety & CultureHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement
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Midlife AF Podcast episodes

  • #120 Refreshed AF

    In this final session of my three-day Festive Alcohol Reset, I walk you through exactly how to move into a “third way” relationship with alcohol - one that isn’t miserable, all‑or‑nothing, or based on shame and willpower.

    I share how we can step into the New Year feeling refreshed, resourced, and connected to our original, unhurt selves, instead of chasing a “new me” from a place of self‑blame.

    I talk about why slip‑ups are data, not moral failures, how dopamine and our beliefs keep us stuck, and why self‑compassion is non‑negotiable if we want lasting change. We explore painting a vivid vision of a life where booze is a genuine non‑issue, and I walk you through the core pillars I teach in my programs: knowledge, positive emotion, and aligned action - all wrapped in community, curiosity, and kindness.

    If your intuition is whispering (or yelling) that alcohol is taking more than it’s giving, this episode will help you see that you are not broken, you are not alone, and there really is a way to make this feel lighter, easier, and even joyful.

    Episode Highlights

    • I explain my “third way” approach to alcohol - neither white‑knuckled sobriety nor stuck, unhappy drinking.
    • I share why I rarely use the word “sober” and why language matters so much in how we see ourselves and our choices.
    • I reframe slip‑ups as data points, not proof of failure or lack of character.
    • I walk through the three levels of belief that keep us stuck:
      Beliefs about the substance (“Alcohol relaxes me”)
      Beliefs about society (“You can’t have fun without booze”)
      Beliefs about the self (“There’s something wrong with me”).
    • I talk about dopamine - why the first drink feels so good, how alcohol hijacks our reward system, and what that means for cravings.
    • I emphasise that problematic drinking is a normal human response to an addictive substance, not a personal defect.
    • I show how real change comes from knowledge → positive emotion → action, not from goals and willpower alone.
    • I guide you to define how you want to feel in your future relationship with alcohol (e.g. free, relieved, fearless), rather than just how much you want to drink.
    • I invite you to paint a detailed day‑in‑the‑life where alcohol is a non‑issue and you wake up clear, present, and proud.
    • I talk about returning to the “OG” you - the original, unmasked, unprotected self beneath the coping strategies.
    • I explain why blame (of self or others) keeps us out of change and steals our power.
    • I encourage using curiosity over criticism whenever a craving or slip shows up: “What need is unmet here?”
    • I highlight how planning and preparation make social and high‑risk situations far easier to navigate.
    • I share why community and group coaching are so powerful for dissolving shame and showing us we are not alone.
    • I invite listeners into my Aussie Alcohol Experiment, explaining how it helps you cultivate a genuine take‑it‑or‑leave‑it relationship with alcohol, on your own terms.

      • 👉 Join the 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset (Dec 27–29)
      Repair · Reconnect · Refresh (Free)
      https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

      👉 Join the January 2026 Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starts January 1
      https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

      1 hr 29 min
    • #118 Repaired AF

      In this special episode of Midlife AF, I guide you through the first part of my three-day Festive alcohol reset designed especially for the wild, wobbly space between Christmas and New Year.

      I share how I went from looking “fine” on the outside - successful career, running half marathons, oysters and champagne - to feeling utterly broken inside, waking at 3am gripped by shame, anxiety, and promises to myself I couldn’t keep.

      I introduce a different, deeply compassionate way to change your relationship with alcohol - one that doesn’t rely on willpower, punishment, or labels, and doesn’t even require you to stop drinking to begin.

      We explore grounding, awareness, and self‑trust, and I explain why you drink for very valid reasons, how dopamine hijacks your brain, and why self‑compassion (not self‑criticism) is the heart of sustainable change.

      You’ll also hear about my work with women in midlife, my own journey through burnout, bullying at work, neurodivergence, and parenting quirky teens, and how becoming alcohol free has allowed me to become the calm space in my family’s chaos. This is an invitation to pause, get curious, and start gently repairing your relationship with alcohol - and with yourself.

      Episode Highlights

      • I created this three‑day Festive Reset as a gentle space between Christmas and New Year to repair, reconnect, and refresh your relationship with alcohol.
      • You absolutely do not need to stop drinking to start this work; you can change your relationship with alcohol while still drinking.
      • My approach goes deeper than “top 10 tips” and willpower - it’s built on neuroscience, psychology, and compassionate inquiry.
      • I share my own story: from high‑functioning, overachieving, “healthy” drinker to burned‑out, anxious, and waking at 3am full of shame.
      • On the outside I looked like I had it all together; on the inside I felt like a terrible mum, partner, and person constantly failing herself.
      • Alcohol was my off‑switch from a life crammed with caregiving, a demanding corporate job, neurodivergent kids, and zero bandwidth.
      • Discovering my own and my children’s neurodivergence reframed so much of my past drinking as a coping strategy, not a moral failing.
      • Today I’m happily alcohol free, and far more able to be the “calm space” in my world - even when life is still messy and hard.
      • We start this episode with grounding and breathwork to show how regulating your nervous system can give you what you’re seeking from that first drink.
      • A key goal is rebuilding self‑trust after years of making and breaking promises to yourself about when and how much you’ll drink.
      • Awareness work (like my awareness worksheets) helps you see your triggers, patterns, routines, and the real reasons you drink.
      • Everything you do with alcohol, you do for a reason - usually to escape suffering (loneliness, stress, overwhelm, boredom, pain).
      • Self‑compassion is the core of this methodology: we swap judgment for curiosity and punishment for kindness.
      • I lean on Kristin Neff’s three components of self‑compassion: self‑kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness (you have experiences; you’re not your experiences).
      • Shame and willpower‑based approaches often keep people “white‑knuckling” sobriety for years without real freedom.
      • Dopamine is a survival chemical: your brain thinks alcohol is vital because it delivers a fast, powerful dopamine hit when you’re dysregulated.
      • When you “slip,” instead of spiraling into blame, you can ask, “What was going on for me? How was I feeling? What did I need?”
      • Community - especially among women who “get it”—is incredibly healing; you realize you’re not uniquely broken, you’re completely human.
      • The ultimate aim is a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol and a much more loving, trusting relationship with yourself.

        • 👉 Join the 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset (Dec 27–29)
        Repair · Reconnect · Refresh (Free)
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

        👉 Join the January 2026 Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starts January 1
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

        1 hr 24 min
      • #117 Festive AF

        Quick links (no scrolling required)

        Join the 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset (Dec 27–29)
        Repair · Reconnect · Refresh
        Free
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

         Join the January 2026 Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment (Early Bird)
        Starts January 1
        Early Bird available until 26 December
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

        Episode overview

        What if the reason alcohol feels hard to change isn’t because you’re weak – but because your nervous system is exhausted?

        In this episode of Midlife AF, I’m reflecting on a milestone I never imagined I’d reach. Nearly six years ago, in January 2020, I took what I thought was just a 30-day break from drinking. I had no intention of giving it up forever. I certainly didn’t expect alcohol to become a complete non-issue in my life.

        This episode isn’t about willpower or giving something up.
        It’s about what shifted when I stopped forcing myself and started listening to what my nervous system actually needed.

        And because the space between Christmas and New Year is often when burnout, busy brains and social exhaustion finally catch up with us, I’ve created something gentle to support you through that in-between.

         The 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset

        Repair · Reconnect · Refresh
        December 27–29

        This free, three-day Reset is a gentle invitation to pause after the intensity of the festive season and give your nervous system a palate cleanse before the New Year.

        There is no requirement to stop drinking to take part.
        Many people find their drinking naturally quietens simply because they feel calmer, clearer and more resourced.

        What this Reset is about

         

        • Repair from the excesses and pressure of the lead-up to Christmas
           
        • Reconnect with yourself and your own energy after focusing on everyone else
        • Refresh so you can shine and sparkle your way through the New Year
        • Nothing here is about effort or discipline. It’s about relief.

           

          • How it works

          Each day, you’ll receive a pre-recorded audio episode you can listen to in your own time.

          If you’d like extra support or connection, there are optional live sessions available in the morning or evening. You can join one, both, or none at all.

          Everything is stored in a central hub for all replays, audio files and resources, so you can dip in, catch up, or revisit whenever it suits you.

          This Reset is designed to fit around your life, not add another thing to manage.

          What people say about the Reset

          Kerrie

          “The Alcohol Reset was a great way to press pause on drinking and really evaluate why I drink. The live sessions were warm, inclusive and completely non-judgemental. It made me realise there are so many people just like me. Emma helped me look at things in a way I never had before, and it’s made me want to keep exploring this with myself.”

          Tracy

          “The 3 Day Reset was such a positive step forward. Learning that you can’t fail was huge for me. Emma is a wealth of knowledge and so non-judgy. I’ve been constantly listening to the replays.”

          Anne

          “The Reset felt like having a like-minded, non-judgemental friend in my living room helping me with something I don’t want to talk about with friends or family. I felt safe, I had so many ‘aha’ moments, and I laughed out loud.”

          Rebecca

          “If you’re looking for a non-threatening, non-judgemental way to understand why you drink and decide what to do next, I highly recommend Emma’s 3 Day Reset. It’s supportive, informative and you don’t even have to get off the couch.”

          Libby

          “I came away feeling less alone, more connected and ready to keep going with learning how to reconnect with myself with kindness and compassion.”

          The Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment

          January 2026 intake – starts January 1

          If the Reset leaves you feeling curious about what might be possible with more support, the next step is The Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment – my boutique, trauma-informed program for cultivating a genuine take it or leave it relationship with alcohol, where drinking becomes a non-issue.

          Unlike many programs that don’t begin until the following Monday, this one starts on January 1, with support from day one as the year turns.

          Early Bird details

          Early Bird price: $497

          Early Bird payment plan: 4 x $148.50
          (Usually 4 x $297)

          Places capped at: 25 people

          Early Bird available until 26 December or until sold out

          This is an extraordinary celebration price marking six years since I took a 30-day break in January 2020, a decision I never imagined would change my life in the way it did.

          What people say about the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment

          Simone

          “Emma has this amazing ability to help you dig deep to find the real reason you’ve used alcohol to deal with life. She asks in a way that feels gentle and safe. Over the month I was able to remove the layers, look inward, and reframe my future choices using the tools Emma helped me develop. The sense of community and not feeling alone or broken was a huge bonus.”

          Clare

          “Having taken part in other alcohol programs, Emma’s was a breath of fresh air. She brings a wealth of knowledge and looks at you as a whole person, not just your drinking. She helps you understand where your triggers come from and supports you to work with them in a safe and compassionate environment.”

          Toni

          “Emma is like a ray of sunshine. This experiment meets you wherever you are. She taught me that it’s okay to be unapologetically imperfect and reminded me of the importance of self-love. I finished the experiment with the skills and confidence to trust myself again.”

          P.S.

          You don’t need to label yourself.
          You don’t need to decide anything forever.
          If alcohol has been taking up more space than you’d like, this is a very kind place to start.

          46 min
        • #119 Reconnected AF

          In this session, I guide you through grounding practices, explore why so much of what we believe about alcohol (and ourselves) simply isn’t true, and share how shifting your beliefs can change your relationship with drinking without willpower, shame, or self‑punishment.

          I talk about the myths around alcohol “relaxing” us, why we reach for the buzz when life feels overwhelming, and how dopamine and dinorphin actually keep us stuck in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and disappointment. We also look at how cultural conditioning, patriarchy, trauma, and people‑pleasing shape our drinking, and why self‑soothing with alcohol is an intelligent adaptation, not a moral failing.

          This is an invitation to step out of fear and scarcity and into choice, abundance, and deep self‑compassion as you move toward a take‑it‑or‑leave‑it relationship with alcohol.

          Episode Highlights

          • This series is a reset, not a reprimand - it’s designed for the wobbly space between Christmas and New Year to help you repair, reconnect, and refresh before stepping into 2026.
          • Grounding is essential, not optional - simple practices like feeling your feet, placing a hand on your chest and tummy, and breathing slowly can regulate your nervous system and bring you back into your body.
          • Beliefs run the show - most of our drinking is driven by unconscious beliefs at three levels:
            Substance: “Alcohol relaxes me,” “It’s a treat,” “It helps me switch off.”Society: “You can’t celebrate or socialise without booze,” “A proper meal needs wine.” Self: “There’s something wrong with me,” “I’m weak,” “I should have more willpower.”
          • Much of what we believe about alcohol is the opposite of the truth - science shows alcohol floods us with dopamine once, then leaves us with cortisol, adrenaline, and dinorphin, increasing anxiety, low mood, poor sleep, and the urge to drink again.
          • The ‘buzz’ isn’t what you think - it’s not calm or happiness; it’s a dopamine‑fuelled seeking state that makes us chase more, even when the drink doesn’t actually taste or feel that good.
          • You didn’t “make” yourself - your patterns are intelligent adaptations to your upbringing, culture, trauma (big T and small t), and the roles society expects midlife women to play.
          • Compulsive drinking is self‑soothing, not lack of character - as the holistic psychologist says, soothing is instinctual, not moral. You drink because it works… until it doesn’t.
          • Alcohol keeps us small and compliant - it helps us tolerate the intolerable: over‑functioning, people‑pleasing, exhaustion, loneliness, and suppressing our true needs and desires.
          • Real rebellion is going against the drinking norm - in a culture that normalises a toxic substance, choosing to question alcohol and listen to your intuition is deeply counter‑cultural.
          • Dopamine needs to be scaled to effort - quick, high dopamine hits (like alcohol) come with a cost; joy and contentment grow from effortful, value‑aligned actions and genuine connection.
          • Shame and drill‑sergeant tactics don’t create sustainable change - research shows long‑term change comes from kindness, curiosity, and self‑compassion, not punishment and fear.
          • The path to change is threefold: knowledge → emotion → action 
          • Learn how alcohol truly affects your brain, body, and nervous system.
          • Imagine how you want to feel (freedom, peace, self‑trust, ease) and let that pull you forward.
            Then experiment with behaviour (pauses, breaks, new rituals) from a place of choice, not deprivation.
          • A take‑it‑or‑leave‑it relationship with alcohol is possible - when your beliefs shift and the desire softens, you’re no longer fighting yourself; you’re simply choosing what genuinely serves you. 

            • 👉 Join the 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset (Dec 27–29)
            Repair · Reconnect · Refresh (Free)
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

            👉 Join the January 2026 Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starts January 1
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

            1 hr 27 min
          • #116 Bored AF

            Let’s get real about boredom, especially when you’re taking a break from alcohol.In this week’s episode, I’m unpacking why “I’m bored” can feel shamey, why stillness can spike dread for trauma survivors and neurodivergent brains, and how comparison pours petrol on the fire. We talk Peter Levine, Internal Family Systems, Kristin Neff, Tara Brach, and Brene Brown, but keep it super practical for real life. If “busy” has been your personality, this one’s a deep exhale and a warm reminder that you’re not broken; you’re human.

            What we cover:

            • The sneaky origins of boredom shame from childhood and why it sticks.
            • Boredom ≠ lack of stimulation for trauma survivors and ND folks, it’s the threat of being with ourselves.
            • The “second arrow” of self-judgment and how it multiplies pain.
            • Why our nervous system sometimes tries to discharge stored stress in the quiet. How neurodivergent masking leads to crash cycles, comparison, and coping.
            • Practical reframes: becoming the observer, stopping the second arrow, and meeting real needs. Radical acceptance and the beauty of a “nice little life.”
            • Small, doable ways to build capacity for stillness without reaching for a drink.

              • Listen if: You’re alcohol-free or AF-curious, you identify as “always busy,” or you’re tired of comparing your Tuesday to someone else’s highlight reel.

              Episode links & Resources

              • Click here to book an initial consult with me https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=43677625 
              • Click here for a 15 minute Free inquiry call to for my Be The Lighthouse Membership https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=22037671

              • Ready to transform your relationship with food before Christmas? My 6 Weeks To Christmas Intuitive Eating Program starts November 10th and runs through December 20th—giving you the tools to navigate the holiday season with confidence, peace, and food freedom. For just $497, you'll get 6 private 1-hour coaching sessions with personalized notes and resources to help you break free from diet culture for good. I'm only offering this program to 4 people as I complete the final element of my qualifications under the supervision of Intuitive Eating founder Evelyn Tribole—which means you'll benefit from her expertise guiding my work with you. This is your chance to experience Christmas without the anxiety, guilt, or food rules. Learn more and secure your spot at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/uUeTzEjv

                1 hr 10 min
              • #115 Moderation or AF

                In this episode, I dive deep into the question I hear most often: “Can I just drink like a normal person?”

                I share my own journey with alcohol, the challenges of moderation, and why so many of us are drawn to the idea of having “just two glasses of wine.”

                We’ll explore the powerful influence of the alcohol industry, the real risks of drinking, and why the desire to moderate is often rooted in deeper emotional needs. I’ll also discuss my unique, non-fear-based approach to changing your relationship with alcohol, and why true transformation is about unmasking and self-acceptance-not just willpower.

                If you’ve ever wondered why moderation feels so hard, or if you’re ready to look beneath the surface of your drinking habits, this episode is for you.

                Episode Takeaways:

                • Most people who work with me want to “drink like normal people”, but moderation is much harder than it seems.
                • The alcohol industry and societal norms have convinced us that being able to drink moderately is a sign of being acceptable and in control.
                • There is no truly safe amount of alcohol; even small amounts increase health risks, especially for women.
                • The desire to moderate is often about wanting to fit in, avoid rejection, and mask deeper emotional pain.
                • My approach is not fear-based; it’s about understanding your relationship with alcohol and making choices that feel right for you in the moment.
                • Moderation requires constant vigilance and self-control, which can be exhausting and unsustainable for many.
                • True change comes from addressing the root causes of why we drink—not just the behavior itself.
                • Self-acceptance and unmasking are at the heart of my coaching; it’s about learning to love yourself as you are, not fixing yourself to fit an ideal.
                • If you’re feeling stuck, know that it’s a hopeful sign of change, awareness is the first step.

                  • Episode links & Resources

                  • Download your copy of “Five Important Things You Need to Know About 'Normal' Drinking” to uncover the 5 key insights into why it feels so hard to stick to just one or two glasses of wine, and learn how to use science and awareness to transform those persistent cravings into a source of power, confidence, and control over your wine habits. Click here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/drink-like-normal-people

                  • Click here to book an initial consult with me https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=43677625 
                  • Click here for a 15 minute Free inquiry call to for my Be The Lighthouse Membership https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=22037671
                    • 42 min
                  • #114 Alchemised AF

                    In this episode, I share my personal journey as a late-diagnosed autistic ADHD counselor, psychotherapist, and alcohol coach. I open up about my struggles with busy brain, masking, and the coping mechanisms I used - including alcohol - to manage overwhelming thoughts and emotions. I discuss how societal expectations, trauma, and neurodivergence shaped my identity, and how self-compassion became the key to transforming my relationship with myself and with alcohol.

                    Episode Takeaways:

                    • I learned that “busy brain” is not a personality flaw, but a symptom of deeper issues like trauma, neurodivergence, and societal pressure.
                    • Alcohol and other coping mechanisms are often solutions to discomfort, not the root problem themselves.
                    • Self-compassion, not willpower or harsh self-judgment, is the most effective path to healing and change.
                    • Masking and trying to fit in led me to lose touch with my authentic self; unmasking is a gradual, ongoing process.
                    • Our inner critic and need to control are often protective strategies developed in response to feeling unsafe or unacceptable.
                    • Burnout, stress, and self-sabotage are common among neurodivergent and sensitive people, especially when we ignore our needs.
                    • Sharing our stories and struggles helps break the cycle of shame and isolation.
                    • True transformation - alchemy - comes from understanding and repurposing our coping strategies, not just suppressing them.

                      • Episode links & Resources

                      • Join my 5-day Virtual Retreat from 15th - 19th September at hoperisingcoaching.com/5day-vr
                         
                        • 1 hr 29 min
                      • #113 Not That Bad But Bad Enough

                        In this episode, I share my personal journey with alcohol: how I navigated the confusing space between “not that bad” and “bad enough.” I open up about the subtle red flags that accumulated over time, the impact my drinking had on my family, and the pivotal moments that led me to question my relationship with alcohol. I talk about the challenges of letting go of an identity built around drinking, the power of self-compassion, and the freedom I discovered on the other side.

                        This conversation is for anyone quietly wondering if something needs to shift, and I hope my story offers both comfort and inspiration.

                        Key Takeaways:

                        • I never hit a dramatic “rock bottom,” but a series of small red flags made me realize my drinking was “bad enough” for me.
                        • My children’s reactions to my drinking were wake-up calls that I couldn’t ignore, even if I tried to minimise them at first.
                        • Leaving a high-pressure job and facing my own mental health struggles made me more aware of how I used alcohol to cope.
                        • I learned that self-compassion is essential for lasting change, beating myself up never worked.
                        • Education was empowering: understanding how alcohol affects the brain and body helped me shift my mindset.
                        • Letting go of my “fun wine-lover” identity was hard, but it ultimately brought me relief and a sense of freedom.
                        • Taking a year off alcohol gave me the space to rebuild trust in myself and discover who I am beyond drinking.
                        • My story isn’t about labels or shame, it’s about listening to your own signals and making changes that feel right for you.

                          • This conversation is about breaking silence, normalising challenging experiences, and creating supportive spaces for neurodivergent families.

                          Episode links & Resources 

                          • Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
                          • Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching

                            • FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

                            1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                            2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                            3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                            4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                              5. READY TO GO DEEPER? 

                               

                              Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                              I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 22, 23 and 24 Sept, 7:30pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.


                              REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                               

                              Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?


                              I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Thursday 1 October 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent.

                               

                              Early bird pricing open now (ends 15th Spetember) - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until January.
                              YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                               

                              Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                               

                              57 min
                            5. #112 Isolated AF

                              In this intimate episode, I sit down with Tanya Valentin, a parenting coach specialising in supporting parents of neurodivergent children through burnout. We dive deep into the unspoken challenges of parenting neurodivergent kids, the impact of masking, and the emotional journey of finding safety and authenticity.

                              Key Takeaways:

                              • Parenting neurodivergent children can be an incredibly isolating experience, often shrouded in shame and judgment
                              • Burnout is a complex, non-linear process that requires compassion and understanding
                              • Neurodivergent parents often struggle with people-pleasing, masking, and suppressing their own needs
                              • Building emotional safety is a gradual process of micro-moments and learning to trust oneself
                              • Advocating for our children requires first creating nervous system safety for ourselves
                              • Society often shames parents and children for expressing difficult emotions, which can lead to long-term psychological impacts
                              • The journey of healing involves recognizing survival mechanisms and learning to support ourselves differently
                              • There's a strong correlation between suppressed emotions, masking, and coping mechanisms like alcohol use

                                • This conversation is about breaking silence, normalizing challenging experiences, and creating supportive spaces for neurodivergent families.

                                Episode links & Resources

                                • Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
                                • Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching
                                • Follow Tanya on IG @tanyavalentinnz

                                  • Upcoming Coached Events & Programs:

                                      • Find out about Tanya's Membership: https://tanyavalentin.co/parent-community/
                                      • Tanya is hosting a free workshop called "Why is my child's burnout recovery taking so long?" Here is the link: https://calendly.com/tanyavalentin/burnout-recovery-event
                                      • Join Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG 
                                      • Join Emma's Be The Lighthouse membership here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse 
                                      • Get Emma's Visualisation audio download at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation 
                                      • Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in 
                                      • Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset 
                                      • Join The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae 

                                        • Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

                                        1 hr 1 min
                                      • #111 Decided AF

                                        This week I dive deep into the concept of "flow over force" when it comes to changing habits, particularly around alcohol use.

                                        I share my approach that moves away from shame-based, punitive methods and instead focuses on understanding our triggers, building self-compassion, and creating safety within ourselves.

                                        Drawing from my experience as a neurodivergent mum, I explore how traditional recovery models often fail and introduce my "third way" method of approaching behavioural change.

                                        Key Takeaways:

                                        • Punitive and shame-based approaches to habit change don't work, especially for neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma
                                        • Alcohol is often a coping mechanism that helps people feel safe or escape difficult emotions
                                        • Neurodivergent parents, particularly mothers, face unique challenges that can lead to using alcohol as a way to find space and relief
                                        • True change comes from understanding your triggers and learning to be compassionate with yourself
                                        • The goal is not to "fight" against a behaviour, but to understand why you're using it and create alternative ways to meet those needs
                                        • Interceptive awareness and learning to recognise and sit with emotions is crucial for sustainable change
                                        • My 30-day Aussie Alcohol Experiment offers a supportive, non-judgmental approach to exploring your relationship with alcohol

                                          • Episode links & Resources

                                          • Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
                                          • Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching

                                            • My Upcoming Coached Events & Programs:

                                                • Join The GREAT Aussie Alcohol Experiment - LIVE June 2025 here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                                • Join Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG 
                                                • Join Emma's Be The Lighthouse membership here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse 
                                                • Get Emma's Visualisation audio download at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation 
                                                • Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in 
                                                • Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset 
                                                • Join The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae 

                                                  • Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

                                                  27 min

                                                About Midlife AF Podcast

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                                                Finding Your Groove Without Booze