Midlife AF Podcast

Midlife AF Podcast

By Emma GilmourSociety & CultureHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement
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Midlife AF Podcast episodes

  • EPISODE 7: The Sober Curious Secret - Stop Trying to Stop Drinking - Dry July, No Drama

    Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

    EPISODE 7: The Sober Curious Secret - Stop Trying to Stop Drinking - Dry July, No Drama

    I know this sounds counterintuitive. Stick with me.

    All that stopping and starting - the trying, the failing, the trying again - plays havoc with our hearts and nervous systems when we are trying to cut back on drinking.

    In the methodology I teach, we call it The Pause.

    It is the very best preparation for taking a successful break from alcohol. Not white-knuckling it. Not battling. Pausing - and getting genuinely curious.

    If you are breaking your own heart on a daily basis - stop trying and start learning:

    • Notice your routines, rituals and triggers around drinking
    • Notice the actual physical and emotional experience of drinking - without judgement
    • Become a data gatherer, not a failure counter

      • Stop breaking your trust in yourself. Get into choice.

      This is how a sober curious 30-day break starts to feel effortless - and how alcohol becomes a genuine non-issue rather than something to white-knuckle your way through.

      This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

      My free resources below will help you prepare for and get the most out of your break. See links below: 

      FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

      1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

      hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

      2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

      hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

      3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

      hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

      4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

      hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

      READY TO GO DEEPER? 

      Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

      WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

      Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

      REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

      Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

      YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

      Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. 

      8 min
    • EPISODE 6: How to Say No to Alcohol Without Going to War With Yourself - Dry July, No Drama

      Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

      EPISODE 6: How to Say No to Alcohol Without Going to War With Yourself - Dry July, No Drama

      This goes against everything we have been taught about cutting back on alcohol.

      Instead of going into battle - lean in.

      A craving is not your enemy. It is just a trigger - a way of your body letting you know that something is not OK. So rather than fighting your body in distress, the invitation is to get curious and ask:

      • Would I be having to do something I don't want to do?
      • Would I be pushing through beyond my exhaustion?
      • Is my busy brain driving me bananas?
      • Is drinking the only way I can give myself permission to stop and sit down?

        • Your body is not broken. It is resourceful. It found a solution. Our job is to find a better one - together.

        Part of changing our relationship with alcohol involves working out how to create those experiences the way we want them - without using alcohol. But the first step is always curiosity and awareness. Not warfare.

        This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

        My Awareness Worksheets are perfect for this episode - working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better. See links below: 

        FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

        1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

        hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

        2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

        hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

        3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

        hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

        4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

        hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

        READY TO GO DEEPER? 

        Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

        WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

        Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

        REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

        Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

        YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

        Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. 

         

        8 min
      • EPISODE 5 : Why One Day at a Time Keeps You Stuck - And What to Do Instead - Dry July, No Drama

        Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

        Episode 5: Why One Day at a Time Keeps You Stuck - And What to Do Instead - Dry July, No Drama

        I know this one is controversial. I am speaking from my own experience.

        For me, one day at a time meant I had to keep making decisions - which kept me in decision fatigue, which kept me in willpower. And willpower is a finite strategy for cutting back on alcohol.

        It also reinforces struggle, battling and hard. It ties into good and bad - binary thinking - all of which keeps us in resistance and out of choice.

        The alternative? Make one firm decision:

        I am not going to drink for 30 days.

        • A maybe is always a yes
        • A data point is not a failure - it is something to learn from
        • Go into your sober curious break with the decision made and your brain freed up for more interesting things

          • There is no try. There is only do - or do not. Thanks, Yoda.

          This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

          My free resources below will help you prepare for and get the most out of your break. See links below:

          FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

          1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

            2. hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

            1. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

              2. hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

              1. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                2. hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                1. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                  2. hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                  READY TO GO DEEPER?

                  Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                  WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                  Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                  REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                  Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                  YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                  Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                  8 min
                2. EPISODE 4: Why Thinking About Your Hangover Won't Help You Cut Back on Drinking - Dry July, No Drama

                  Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                  Why Thinking About Your Hangover Won't Help You Cut Back on Drinking - Dry July, No Drama

                  When we are taking time of alcohol we tend to spend a lot of time focusing on the hangover and anxiety post-drinking, and not enough time focusing on the issues in the moment.

                  Our craving doesn't care about tomorrow. It just wants to ease our discomfort right now.

                  If you start trying to sell tomorrow's hangover as a reason not to drink, you’ve lost it - that’s a future you problem.

                  Whereas if we start to think about the impact in the here and now, and in the few hours after the first drink, that can be really convincing.

                  Fear of the future, a bit like willpower and restriction, is a short-term strategy and will only last so long.

                  What we need to is:

                  1. Start to become the craving, need and trigger investigator.

                  2. Understand what is going on in the moment. For example, if we want excitement, confidence, fun, what do we believe we or the situation will be like without that?

                  This is the shift that makes reducing your alcohol intake feel natural rather than like white-knuckling it through the evening.

                  This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                  My Awareness Worksheets - perfect for exactly this kind of noticing - and my Grounding Audio, which will help you identify the unmet need underneath the craving before it reaches for a drink. See links below: 

                  FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

                  1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

                  hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                  2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

                  hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

                  3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                  hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                  4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                  hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                  READY TO GO DEEPER? 

                  Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                  WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                  Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                  REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                  Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                  YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                  Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. 

                   

                  14 min
                3. EPISODE 3: The One Thing That Makes Dry July Actually Work - Especially If You Have ADHD - Dry July, No Drama

                  Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                  Episode 3: The One Thing That Makes Dry July Actually Work - Especially If You Have ADHD

                  Just don't drink for 30 days. That's it. Just one thing.

                  Don't try - as we ADHDers are prone to do - to also get fit, go FODMAP or vegan, and declutter the house. It's too much restriction and you will come undone.

                  For those of us who are demand avoidant or prone to black-and-white perfectionist thinking, piling on extra rules will push us straight into a nervous system safety response - and we'll be pouring a glass of Chardonnay before our conscious brain has time to remind us we are taking a break.

                  Your permission list for the next 30 days:

                  • The comfort food
                  • The rest
                  • The social media and the Netflix binge
                  • The care you would give a sick child

                    • Nothing else matters but your firm no for 30 days.

                    And if you have a slip-up? A data point is just a sign that your body hasn't learnt how to manage something yet. Treat it with curiosity, not judgement - there is so much to learn from that.

                    A maybe is always a yes. One thing. That's all.

                    This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                    My free resources below will help you prepare for and get the most out of your break. See links below:

                    FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                    1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

                      2. hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                      1. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

                        2. hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

                        1. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                          2. hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                          1. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                            2. hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                            READY TO GO DEEPER?

                            Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                            WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                            Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                            REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                            Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                            YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                            Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                            12 min
                          2. EPISODE 2: How to Reduce Your Drinking by Stopping Thinking About Drinking - Dry July, No Drama

                            Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                            Episode 2: How to Reduce Your Drinking by Stopping Thinking About Drinking - Dry July, No Drama

                            The best way to set yourself up for success with a 30-day break from alcohol is to start noticing YOUR behaviours, thoughts, beliefs and physical experience of alcohol.

                            You need to become a need hunter.

                            Don't spend too much time on the after-alcohol experience - that's what people get wrong. The after experience sends us into judgement and self-flagellation, which distracts us from gathering the data we actually need to cut back on drinking for good.

                            Instead, start noticing what was happening immediately before you got a craving:

                            • What need is being met by alcohol?
                            • What is alcohol giving you? What is it taking away?
                            • Is it like slipping into a warm bath? Do your shoulders relax? Do you sigh?
                            • What thoughts change when you drink?

                              • Note for our ND friends: noticing physical sensations can be hard - share anything that comes to mind, however small.

                              This is the kind of super-sleuth behaviour that moves us to a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol - and makes for a really enjoyable sober curious 30-day break.

                              This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                              My Awareness Worksheets are perfect for this episode - working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better. See links below:

                              FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                              1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

                                2. hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                                1. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

                                  2. hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

                                  1. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                                    2. hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                                    1. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                                      2. hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                                      READY TO GO DEEPER?

                                      Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                                      WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                      Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                                      REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                      Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                                      YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                      Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                                      16 min
                                    2. Episode 1 - Why Cutting Back on Alcohol Has Nothing to Do With Willpower - Dry July, No Drama

                                      Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                                      Episode 1 - Why Cutting Back on Alcohol Has Nothing to Do With Willpower

                                      There are not two types of people - those who can drink and those who can't.

                                      Anyone can start to use alcohol problematically if they are drinking regularly and begin associating it with relief from emotional or physical pain. These kinds of sayings shame people and put the blame squarely on the individual - rather than understanding the truth:

                                      Alcohol is the solution to the problem of a person's pain. Not the problem itself.

                                      This means:

                                      • Problematic alcohol use is not a morality issue
                                      • It is often a valid nervous system safety response to a world that doesn't have our best interests at heart
                                      • The goal is not to shame ourselves into stopping - it is to find a different solution

                                        • Our job is to learn how to hold ourselves in our distress. To find a way to be with this world that doesn't hurt our heart and soul even more in the process.

                                        If you are sober curious, tired of the back-and-forth about drinking, or simply want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol - you are in the right place.

                                        This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                                        My free resources below will help you prepare for and get the most out of your break. See links below: 

                                        FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous: 

                                        1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.

                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

                                        2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.

                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

                                        3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.

                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

                                        4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.

                                        hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

                                        READY TO GO DEEPER? 

                                        Ready to make alcohol a non-issue? Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.

                                        WATCH NOW FOR FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                                        Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking? I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

                                        REGISTER FREE: hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                        Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine? I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

                                        YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                        Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes. 

                                         _____________________________________________________

                                         

                                        12 min
                                      • #123 Rise AF

                                        In this episode, I guide you through my “Rise” framework for changing your relationship with alcohol. We explore why your drinking is never about “willpower” or “moral failure” and is almost always about unmet needs, nervous system overwhelm, and outdated beliefs you’ve carried for years. I share how grounding, visualisation, and gentle self‑inquiry can help your brain feel safer with change, so you’re not constantly “white‑knuckling it” around booze.

                                        I walk you through core concepts I use in my programs - like curiosity over judgment, understanding dopamine and why we chase it, building a compelling vision for an alcohol‑light life, and using awareness tools instead of shame. We also talk about the power of immersion (podcasts, books, social media), why community is so vital, and how to start making a practical plan that fits your real life - not some perfect, imaginary version of you.

                                        Throughout, I share stories from clients who’ve gone from anxious, exhausted and stuck to feeling grounded, self‑trusting and genuinely indifferent to alcohol - more like a “cheese sandwich” than a magical elixir. If you’re a midlife woman (especially neurodivergent like me) who’s drinking more than you want to and is tired of feeling like the problem, this conversation offers a kinder, more compassionate way forward.

                                        Key Takeaways

                                        • I always start with grounding (breath, body awareness, connection to the earth) because getting out of your head and into your body makes change feel safer to your nervous system.
                                        • You are not your thoughts; you are the thinker of your thoughts - this gives you space to question old stories about alcohol, yourself and the world.
                                        • Many women drink more than they want to because nobody says “thank you,” “well done,” or “good job” - booze becomes a shortcut to relief and recognition.
                                        • My work is about taking a break from taking a break - stepping out of judgment and resistance and into curiosity and inquiry rather than focusing only on stopping.
                                        • We examine three levels of belief:
                                          Beliefs about the substance (alcohol itself)
                                          Beliefs about society (what’s “normal,” social expectations)
                                          Beliefs about self (worthiness, competence, identity)
                                        • Dopamine isn’t a moral issue; it’s biology. We’re wired to seek it, and alcohol gives us an unearned, easy hit, which can distort how good we think it is.
                                        • Craving is usually your body saying “I’m not okay”, not that you’re weak - often it’s about tiredness, loneliness, overwhelm, social anxiety, or people‑pleasing.
                                        • Alcohol is almost always a solution to a problem, not the problem itself. Until we understand the underlying need, change won’t stick.
                                        • Awareness worksheets and mindful tracking turn “slip‑ups” into data points, so we can ask: What happened? What was I feeling? What did I really need?
                                        • Self‑compassion is non‑negotiable: I ask, “What would I say to me if I were someone I loved?”-especially when things don’t go to plan.
                                        • Visualisation tools like the North Star exercise help your brain feel safer, because it gets a clear picture of what an alcohol‑light day could actually look and feel like.
                                        • Our culture gives alcohol a huge amount of power; I want you to feel about booze the way you do about a cheese sandwich - neutral, take‑it‑or‑leave‑it.
                                        • We’re taught that being alcohol‑free is boring and miserable; in reality, for many women it’s a massive upgrade in energy, joy, and self‑respect.
                                        • Immersion works: podcasts, “quit‑lit,” and social media accounts that reflect your values can rewire your beliefs and show you what’s possible.
                                        • Don’t go to Bunnings for milk - talk about your alcohol journey with people who get it and won’t minimise, shame, or sabotage you.
                                        • There is no “failure” in my methodology - only learning. The only “fail” is disappearing and not coming back to look at what happened.
                                        • “Maybe” about drinking is almost always a yes. Setting a clear intention for the day around alcohol is far more powerful than vague hopes.
                                        • Change involves choosing your hard: the discomfort of staying stuck versus the discomfort of growth and honest self‑reflection.
                                        • You were never broken; this work is not about fixing you, it’s about understanding your conditioning so you can choose differently.
                                        • Support and community are essential. We’re not meant to do this alone, and shame thrives in isolation but dissolves in safe, validating spaces.

                                          • 👉The 3-Day End of Jan Alcohol Reset - Reconnect · Rewire · Rise
                                          FREE - My Back to School Gift To You
                                          27th-29th January 2026
                                          Live on zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82540254435 or in Midlife AF Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AmoBDBtzB/  or at 6 PM Melbourne - AEDT

                                          To join live register here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset 

                                          Once registered you can access the replays, resources and work books in the RESET Hub link is here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/jan-3-day-reset-hub

                                          👉The Link For the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starting Monday Feb 2nd 2026 is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                          Special RESET Discount Codes for the Feb 2nd edition of the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Live - Gives you $200 off the Upfront Price or $50 off each payment from the 4 * monthly Payment Plan instalments.

                                          Full price with RESET discount is $797 (normally $997)

                                          👉Discount Link open until End Of Play Friday 29th Jan:. Special link to get this price is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/CUotwFPz?coupon_code=RESET

                                          Payment plan is $247 * 4 monthly payments (normally $297) 

                                          👉Discount Link open until End Of Play Friday 29th Jan.Special link to get this price is:: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/NCHNReNL/checkout?coupon_code=RESETPP 

                                          1 hr 1 min
                                        • #122 Rewired AF

                                          In this episode, I walk you through my “third way” approach: a compassionate path that sits between white‑knuckling sobriety and feeling stuck in a shame spiral with alcohol. We explore how to get out of resistance and into curiosity, begin reconnecting with our bodies, and gently question the stories we’ve carried for decades. If you’ve ever thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just stop at one?” this conversation is for you.

                                          You’ll also hear how I work with women in my Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment, why grounding and self‑compassion matter so much, and how shifting beliefs can make alcohol feel more like a cheese sandwich - something you can truly take or leave.

                                          Episode Highlights:

                                          • I encourage you to celebrate yourself simply for being here and examining your relationship with alcohol - most people never do this work.
                                          • One of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is: “Why do I like to drink?” answered without judgment.
                                          • Everything we believe about booze, and much of what we believe about ourselves, is shaped by conditioning, not truth.
                                          • There are three levels of belief:
                                            - Beliefs about the substance (what alcohol “does” for us)
                                            - Beliefs about society (what’s normal, social, fun)
                                            - Beliefs about self (am I lovable, acceptable, fun without alcohol?)
                                          • Beliefs about the substance are often the easiest to shift once we understand how alcohol actually affects our brain and body.
                                          • Alcohol doesn’t truly relax us - it spikes dopamine briefly, then floods us with stress chemicals like cortisol, adrenaline, and dynorphin.
                                          • Our struggle with alcohol is not a moral failing or lack of willpower; it’s about biology, nervous system regulation, and learned coping.
                                          • Many of our traits and patterns are actually protective adaptations, not our “true personality.”
                                          • We didn’t make ourselves - family dynamics, culture, and marketing (like “drink responsibly”) all shape our shame and silence.
                                          • Shame keeps us alone, and when we’re lonely, we’re more likely to drink. Breaking the shame is part of healing.
                                          • Dopamine’s job is to make us seek; it shows us alcohol through “rose‑tinted glasses,” which keeps us chasing the “buzz.”
                                          • Starting with knowledge and awareness - then feelings - then behaviour is far more effective than trying to change behaviour with willpower alone.
                                          • My “third way” is about building a take‑it‑or‑leave‑it relationship with alcohol, grounded in self‑compassion, nervous system tools, and deeper understanding - not harsh rules.

                                            • 👉The 3-Day End of Jan Alcohol Reset - Reconnect · Rewire · Rise
                                            FREE - My Back to School Gift To You
                                            27th-29th January 2026
                                            Live on zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82540254435 or in Midlife AF Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AmoBDBtzB/  or at 6 PM Melbourne - AEDT

                                            To join live register here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                            Once registered you can access the replays, resources and work books in the RESET Hub link is here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/jan-3-day-reset-hub

                                            👉The Link For the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starting Monday Feb 2nd 2026 is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                            Special RESET Discount Codes for the Feb 2nd edition of the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Live - Gives you $200 off the Upfront Price or $50 off each payment from the 4 * monthly Payment Plan instalments.

                                            Full price with RESET discount is $797 (normally $997)

                                            👉Discount Link open until End Of Play Friday 29th Jan:. Special link to get this price is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/CUotwFPz?coupon_code=RESET

                                            Payment plan is $247 * 4 monthly payments (normally $297) 

                                            👉Discount Link open until End Of Play Friday 29th Jan.Special link to get this price is:: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/NCHNReNL/checkout?coupon_code=RESETPP 

                                            1 hr 6 min
                                          • #121 Reconnected AF

                                            In this episode, I invite you into Day 1 of my three-day end-of-January Alcohol Reset, where I share the “third way” of being around alcohol—beyond the old binary of either “miserably sober” or “happily drinking with constant regret.” Speaking from both my professional training and my lived experience, I talk about how I went from a chaotic, booze-fuelled life to a genuinely take-it-or-leave-it relationship with alcohol, where it now has no emotional pull and feels about as interesting as a cheese sandwich.

                                            I walk you through why this unique time of year—especially here in Australia, with kids going back to school and summer socialising still in full swing—is actually a powerful moment to pause and reflect before the rest of the year sweeps you away. Rather than pushing you to “just stop drinking,” I introduce the concept of the Pause: taking a break from taking a break, staying curious, and using your current drinking as valuable data instead of a reason to beat yourself up.

                                            We explore how self-trust, self-awareness, and self-compassion sit at the heart of sustainable change. I share stories from my own life—from wild nights in London media culture to exhausted contract work, neurodivergent parenting, and those 3am shame spirals—to show you that the real issue isn’t alcohol itself, but why we’re using it. You’ll hear how I now live happily alcohol-free by choice, while still holding space for a million different ways to be around alcohol for others.

                                            If you’ve ever felt like alcohol is your reward, your way to decompress, your “me time,” or simply something that has more control over you than you’d like—this episode will help you feel less alone, more understood, and much better equipped to start changing your relationship with alcohol in a kind, non-judgmental way.

                                            Key Takeaways (from Emma)

                                            • I don’t teach “quit or fail”; I teach a third way of being with alcohol that’s based on curiosity, not willpower or white-knuckling.
                                            • A take-it-or-leave-it relationship with alcohol is possible—where booze has no pull, no drama, and becomes a genuine non-issue.
                                            • The real problem usually isn’t alcohol itself; it’s the underlying needs we’re trying to meet—stress relief, social ease, escape, rest, sensory regulation, or “me time.”
                                            • The Pause means taking a break from taking a break: you can keep drinking while you learn, observe, and gather data about your patterns instead of attacking yourself.
                                            • Beating ourselves up (“I’m weak, I have no willpower”) doesn’t create change; it just dysregulates our nervous system and makes us more likely to drink again.
                                            • Everything shifts on the other side of awareness: noticing when you first think about alcohol, your rituals, how it tastes and feels, and the true after-effects.
                                            • My awareness worksheets help you track your thoughts, feelings, routines, and the aftermath of drinking with a non-judgmental, “Martian researcher” mindset.
                                            • Self-compassion is the antidote to shame and the heart of sustainable change:
                                              - Self-kindness instead of self-attack
                                              - Common humanity (“I’m not the only one who struggles like this”)
                                              - Mindfulness instead of catastrophising and over-identifying with every feeling
                                            • Many of us drink because being inside our own heads feels like an abusive relationship; the work is to become a soft place to land for ourselves.
                                            • You do not have to stop drinking to start this work. If you’ve already stopped, great—stay stopped. If you haven’t, you’re still in exactly the right place.
                                            • My Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment builds on these ideas in a small, trauma-informed, neuro-affirming group, helping you move from “stuck in the cycle” to genuine freedom and choice around alcohol.

                                              • 👉The 3-Day End of Jan Alcohol Reset - Reconnect · Rewire · Rise
                                              FREE - My Back to School Gift To You
                                              27th-29th January 2026
                                              Live on zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82540254435 or in Midlife AF Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AmoBDBtzB/  or at 6 PM Melbourne - AEDT

                                              To join live register here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                                              Once registered you can access the replays, resources and work books in the RESET Hub link is here https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/jan-3-day-reset-hub

                                              👉The Link For the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starting Monday Feb 2nd 2026 is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                                              Special RESET Discount Codes for the Feb 2nd edition of the 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Live - Gives you $200 off the Upfront Price or $50 off each payment from the 4 * monthly Payment Plan instalments.

                                              Full price with RESET discount is $797 (normally $997)

                                              👉Discount Link open until End Of Play Friday 29th Jan:. Special link to get this price is:  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/CUotwFPz?coupon_code=RESET

                                              Payment plan is $247 * 4 monthly payments (normally $297) 

                                              👉Discount Link open until End Of Play Friday 29th Jan.Special link to get this price is:: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/NCHNReNL/checkout?coupon_code=RESETPP 

                                               

                                               

                                              1 hr 8 min

                                            About Midlife AF Podcast

                                            From the publisher's feed

                                            Finding Your Groove Without Booze