Midlife AF Podcast
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Midlife AF Podcast episodes

  • EPISODE 3: The One Thing That Makes Sober October Actually Work - Especially If You Have ADHD - Sober October, No Drama

    Sober October, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

    Episode 3: The One Thing That Makes Sober October Actually Work - Especially If You Have ADHD

    Just don't drink for 30 days. That's it. Just one thing.

    Don't try - as we ADHDers are prone to do - to also get fit, go FODMAP or vegan, and declutter the house. It's too much restriction and you will come undone.

    For those of us who are demand avoidant or prone to black-and-white perfectionist thinking, piling on extra rules will push us straight into a nervous system safety response - and we'll be pouring a glass of Chardonnay before our conscious brain has time to remind us we are taking a break.

    Your permission list for the next 30 days:

    • The comfort food
    • The rest
    • The social media and the Netflix binge
    • The care you would give a sick child
    • Nothing else matters but your firm no for 30 days.

      And if you have a slip-up? A data point is just a sign that your body hasn't learnt how to manage something yet. Treat it with curiosity, not judgement - there is so much to learn from that.

      A maybe is always a yes. One thing. That's all.

      This episode is part of Sober October, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

      My free resources below will help you prepare for and get the most out of your break. See links below:

      Episode links & Resources
      •⁠ ⁠Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
      •⁠ ⁠Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching

      FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

      1.⁠ ⁠7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
      https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

      2.⁠ ⁠Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
      https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

      3.⁠ ⁠Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
      https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

      4.⁠ ⁠Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
      https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

      READY TO GO DEEPER?

      Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
      I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 22, 23 and 24 Sept, 7:30pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

      REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

      Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?

      I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Thursday 1 October 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent.

      Early bird pricing open now (ends 15th Spetember) - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until January.

      YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

      Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

       

       

       

      18 min
    • EPISODE 2: How to Reduce Your Drinking by Stopping Thinking About Drinking - Sober October, No Drama

      Sober October, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

      Episode 2: How to Reduce Your Drinking by Stopping Thinking About Drinking - Sober October, No Drama

      The best way to set yourself up for success with a 30-day break from alcohol is to start noticing YOUR behaviours, thoughts, beliefs and physical experience of alcohol.

      You need to become a need hunter.

      Don't spend too much time on the after-alcohol experience - that's what people get wrong. The after experience sends us into judgement and self-flagellation, which distracts us from gathering the data we actually need to cut back on drinking for good.

      Instead, start noticing what was happening immediately before you got a craving:

      • What need is being met by alcohol?
      • What is alcohol giving you? What is it taking away?
      • Is it like slipping into a warm bath? Do your shoulders relax? Do you sigh?
      • What thoughts change when you drink?
      • Note for our ND friends: noticing physical sensations can be hard - share anything that comes to mind, however small.

        This is the kind of super-sleuth behaviour that moves us to a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol - and makes for a really enjoyable sober curious 30-day break.

        This episode is part of Sober October, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

        My Awareness Worksheets are perfect for this episode - working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better. See links below:

        Episode links & Resources
        •⁠ ⁠Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
        •⁠ ⁠Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching

        FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

        1.⁠ ⁠7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

        2.⁠ ⁠Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

        3.⁠ ⁠Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

        4.⁠ ⁠Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
        https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

        READY TO GO DEEPER?

        Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
        I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 22, 23 and 24 Sept, 7:30pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

        REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

        Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?

        I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Thursday 1 October 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent.

        Early bird pricing open now (ends 15th Spetember) - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until January.

        YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

        Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

         

         

        21 min
      • Episode 1 - Why Cutting Back on Alcohol Has Nothing to Do With Willpower - Sober October, No Drama

        Sober October, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

        Episode 1 - Why Cutting Back on Alcohol Has Nothing to Do With Willpower

        There are not two types of people - those who can drink and those who can't.

        Anyone can start to use alcohol problematically if they are drinking regularly and begin associating it with relief from emotional or physical pain. These kinds of sayings shame people and put the blame squarely on the individual - rather than understanding the truth:

        Alcohol is the solution to the problem of a person's pain. Not the problem itself.

        This means:

        • Problematic alcohol use is not a morality issue
        • It is often a valid nervous system safety response to a world that doesn't have our best interests at heart
        • The goal is not to shame ourselves into stopping - it is to find a different solution
        • Our job is to learn how to hold ourselves in our distress. To find a way to be with this world that doesn't hurt our heart and soul even more in the process.

          If you are sober curious, tired of the back-and-forth about drinking, or simply want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol - you are in the right place.

          This episode is part of Sober October, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

          Episode links & Resources
          •⁠ ⁠Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
          •⁠ ⁠Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching

          FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

          1.⁠ ⁠7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

          2.⁠ ⁠Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

          3.⁠ ⁠Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

          4.⁠ ⁠Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
          https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

          READY TO GO DEEPER?

          Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
          I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 22, 23 and 24 Sept, 7:30pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

          REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

          Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?

          I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Thursday 1 October 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent.

          Early bird pricing open now (ends 15th Spetember) - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until January.

          YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

          Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

           

          18 min
        • #124 Real AF

          What if the reason you’re finding it hard to stop drinking has far less to do with alcohol — and far more to do with how safe it feels to actually be yourself?

          In this episode, I’m exploring something we’ve been doing a lot of work around in my groups lately: the roles we learn to play in our families, people-pleasing (or fawning), masking, the inner critic, and how all of this can show up in our relationship with alcohol.

          Because so many of us learned very early what made us acceptable.

          Be good. Be easygoing. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t be too needy. Be productive. Help everyone else. Keep going. Don’t sit down. Don’t be difficult.

          And often, those behaviours kept us safe. They helped us belong in our families and in a culture that rewards busyness, productivity, independence and being “fine”.

          The problem is, we can carry those rules with us long after we need them.

          So by the time we reach midlife, we’re exhausted. We’re still saying yes when we want to say no. Still putting everybody else first. Still pushing through when our bodies are screaming at us to stop. Still trying to perform the version of ourselves we believe will be most acceptable to everybody else.

          And then we wonder why we want a drink.

          For many women, alcohol becomes the only way they know how to give themselves permission to stop.

          This is why I don’t believe stopping drinking is simply about trying harder or finding more willpower. In fact, you might have heaps of willpower — you’re just spending all of it maintaining the performance.

          In this episode, I talk about why stopping drinking can sometimes feel unsafe, particularly when it asks us to do things like set boundaries, disappoint people, have difficult conversations, rest, take up space or simply say, “No, I don’t want to do that.”

          I also explore Internal Family Systems and parts work, neurodivergence, hypervigilance and the idea of the “true self” — the person underneath all of those roles and masks we’ve collected along the way.

          Because, for me, stopping drinking is the opposite of optimisation.

          It isn’t another project to make yourself better, healthier, thinner, fitter or more productive.

          It’s about connection.

          It’s about becoming curious about what you actually like. What you actually want. What you need. How you feel. What happens when you stop automatically abandoning yourself to keep everybody else comfortable.

          And perhaps instead of asking, “Why can’t I just stop drinking?”, we can start asking:

          What would it look like to take care of myself today as if I were somebody I loved?

          This work is about slowly creating enough safety to come back to yourself.

          Because ultimately, we have to start to matter to ourselves.

          In this episode, I talk about:
          • Why our upbringing can influence how easy or difficult we find it to stop drinking
          • People-pleasing as a fawn response rather than a personality flaw
          • How childhood roles can become adult masks
          • Why being “good”, productive, independent and easygoing can become tied to our sense of safety
          • The relationship between neurodivergence, masking, trauma responses and alcohol
          • Why hypervigilance can make change feel incredibly difficult
          • The enormous amount of willpower it takes to maintain the appearance of having everything together
          • Why saying no, resting, setting boundaries and disappointing people can feel less safe than drinking
          • The “good girl”, the “cool girl” and the performance of being easygoing
          • Internal Family Systems, parts work and the idea that even the parts of us we dislike are often trying to protect us
          • Returning to your true self rather than turning sobriety into another self-improvement project
          • How small moments of choosing yourself can begin to build safety
          • Why self-criticism makes change harder — and gentle, loving curiosity matters
          • The question at the heart of this work: What do I actually want?
          • Stopping drinking doesn’t have to be another way to reject yourself.

            It can be the beginning of coming home to yourself.

            Episode links & Resources

            •⁠ ⁠Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
            •⁠ ⁠Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching

            FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

            1.⁠ ⁠7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps

            2.⁠ ⁠Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in

            3.⁠ ⁠Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation

            4.⁠ ⁠Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding

            READY TO GO DEEPER?

            Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?

            I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 22, 23 and 24 Sept, 7:30pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.

            REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset 

            Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?

            I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Thursday 1 October 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent.

            Early bird pricing open now (ends 15th Spetember) - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until January.

            YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment 

            Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

            44 min
          • 3 Day Alcohol Reset Day 3 - Rise

            Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?

            I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

            YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

            CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THE 3-DAY ALCOHOL RESET HUB: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset-hub

            1 hr 1 min
          • 3 Day Alcohol Reset Day 2 - Rewire

            Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol?

            Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?

            I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

            YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment CLICK HERE TO

            ACCESS THE 3-DAY ALCOHOL RESET HUB: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset-hub

            1 hr 7 min
          • 3 Day Alcohol Reset Day 1 - Reconnect

            Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol?
            Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?


            I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.

            YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

            CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THE 3-DAY ALCOHOL RESET HUB:
            https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset-hub

            56 min
          • Episode 20: Preparation Is Everything - Dry July, No Drama

            Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

            Episode 20: Preparation Is Everything - Dry July, No Drama

            This is going to be the last daily tip for a few days - because we are about to run the FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset, and the replays will be coming to this podcast.

            My motto: change happens in an instant, but preparation can take a little time - and it is so worth taking that time.

            That is what made all the difference for me.

            Over these past 20 tips I have given you a lot of my resources - and all of them will also be available for free inside the Reset, which starts tonight.

            This whole series has been about getting properly prepared for a really successful Dry July.

            You can come along whether you are still drinking or not. It does not matter. This is not about not drinking. It is about preparing.

            This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

            Join the FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset tonight to access all of these resources in one place, plus live support to help you prepare properly. See links below:

            FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

            1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
            2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
            3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
            4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
              https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
            5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

              Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
              Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
              WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

              Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
              I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
              REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

              Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
              I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
              YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

              Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

              8 min
            6. Episode 19: Conditions Are Never Perfect - Do It Anyway - Dry July, No Drama

              Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

              Episode 19: Conditions Are Never Perfect - Do It Anyway - Dry July, No Drama

              Nobel Prize-winning author Doris Lessing once wrote: "Whatever you're meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible."

              This is exactly what I want to say to you today.

              Your brain is going to look for every reason to keep you doing the same thing you have always done. Biologically, evolutionarily, your brain and body are wired to believe that change is unsafe. Back in caveman days its whole job was to preserve energy - and change requires energy.

              So your brain will always look for reasons to stay the same. Even if staying the same is making you really unhappy, it will still choose that, because it feels safer to stick with what it knows than to risk something different.

              There is no "right time."

              • Waiting for the perfect moment, flawless resources, or total readiness is a trap
              • Life is inherently messy and circumstances will never perfectly align
              • The very act of starting often alters the impossible conditions into something manageable
              • Conditions are never perfect. Do it anyway.

                There are so many reasons your brain will try to tell you it is the wrong time. That you cannot do it. That it is not for you.

                Do not believe it.

                Changing my relationship with alcohol is the best thing I have ever done in my whole life.

                This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                My free preparation tools below will help you start despite the chaos, not wait for the conditions to be perfect. See links below:

                FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                  https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
                5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                  Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                  Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                  WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                  Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                  I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                  REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                  Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                  I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                  YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                  Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                  8 min
                6. Episode 18: What Was Alcohol Keeping You Safe From Experiencing? - Dry July, No Drama

                  Dry July, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol

                  Episode 18: What Was Alcohol Keeping You Safe From Experiencing? - Dry July, No Drama

                  I want you to really listen to this one.

                  Instead of beating yourself up after you have drunk more than you wanted to - focus on the data. Stop being so judgemental. Judgement puts us into a state of dysregulation, and dysregulation makes us much more likely to drink.

                  In my programs we work on data, not blame. We work on growth mindset, not self-attack. It is always: what did I not yet know how to do?

                  The question to ask yourself every single time this happens during your preparation week:

                  What was alcohol keeping me safe from experiencing?

                  For many of us there is a harsh inner critic constantly telling us everything we did wrong and catastrophising everything that is about to happen. Often, drinking is trying to make that voice stop. Often it is trying to keep us pushing through when we are exhausted - or trying to help us relax because we genuinely do not know how to do that without it.

                  For so many women it is exhaustion. Burnout. Needing to stop.

                  We have been culturally conditioned to push through our nervous system and judge ourselves the moment our capacity is not where we think it should be. Alcohol stops us from experiencing ourselves as less than capable. It gives us permission to stop - because we do not know how to give that permission to ourselves.

                  For me it was different again - alcohol let me stay in the room with my family and actually engage when all I wanted was time alone. My brain had been conditioned to believe wanting that time alone was selfish. It let me focus on their needs when everything in me wanted to focus on what I needed to get done.

                  There are a million versions of this question. What is it helping you avoid experiencing?

                  Once you understand what alcohol has been keeping you safe from - you can start to explore what you actually need instead.

                  This episode is part of Dry July, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.

                  My Awareness Worksheets are perfect for asking yourself exactly this question - without judgement, with curiosity. See links below:

                  FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:

                  1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
                  2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
                  3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
                  4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
                    https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
                  5. READY TO GO DEEPER?

                    Ready to make alcohol a non-issue?
                    Watch my free one-hour masterclass: 5 Surprising Ways Taking a Break from Booze Can Be Effortless and Change Your Life. One hour. Five shifts. Your take it or leave it relationship with alcohol starts here.
                    WATCH NOW FOR FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/masterclass

                    Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
                    I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 23, 24 and 25 June, 7pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
                    REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

                    Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
                    I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Wednesday 1 July. 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent. Early bird pricing open now - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until October.
                    YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

                    Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.

                    8 min

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                  Finding Your Groove Without Booze