Midnight Wisdom

It's hard for us to know which thoughts define us and which thoughts don't.

The inner dialogue constantly running the backstage of our minds. It's an interesting aspect to us to take a look at. 

The thoughts and opinions we form without ever giving it a thought. About the people we love and the situations we find ourselves in.

We have certain expectations,  resentments or feelings that bother us and we never bring them up with ourselves or our loved ones, and that slowly eats away at us. And then it all comes out suddenly out of nowhere.  

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I had a dream that came from nowhere. A dream of two wolves following me on a him as I closely followed someone in front of me, someone who I knew was also me, the part of me that's calm, the part of me that was detached from it all.

I saw the dream through the perspective of the part of me who was terrified, or rather, afraid of being afraid. I followed and trusted in the part of me that was detached, but I was always worried about focusing on the wolves. 

"Don't focus on the wolves. Don't focus on the wolves."

And the more I tried not to notice them, the more I did, and the more I noticed them, the more they noticed me.... 

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In the last 30 minutes of the episode I go through my bachelor thesis topic "Online Educational Platforms as a Two-Sided Market: Success Factors in The Middle East".

I discuss what two-sided markets are, and how Educational Platforms have students and instructors that are both interacting on a platform together. And how a platforms actions on one side of the market affect the behavior of the actors on the other side of the market. 

I'm curious to see where the future of online education is going because it's a big part of the plan of what I'm trying to build. Currently with the courses I'm making that you can find on www.midnightwisdom.com and in the future of the platform that I plan on building in the Middle East.

 Just like that, I’m automatically on his side. He had no choice in that, he had nothing to do with that. But here we are, in a place where I’d do anything for someone who’s never ever done anything for me. 

I’ve always wanted to be an uncle, and now I am. 

We need to be careful now, another Gemini is on the loose ;) 

I recorded this yesterday right after finishing writing the last chapter in my book. I have 3 days left till I turn 23 and I promised myself I'd be done with the book beforehand. Let's see how that goes. 

I was going to record this episode in the same football field I recorded in 6 months ago, and I was planning on reflecting a little bit about what changed the past 6 months. It's crazy. But when I got there there were people partying there already and it was too noisy, and without even thinking about it I went to a small park close by and continued recording there. This episode was really good for the soul. 

I talk about what went through my head as I went through the process of writing the book, and how I wanted to formulate my idea in a way that makes sense. 

I'll also talk about a story I wrote about 3 years ago called "Shifting Shadows" and I think I'll upload it for you guys at some point, should be an interesting one. When I wrote it, my only goal was to really mindfuck the reader, and I think I did a really good job with that. 

Otherwise I talk about my writing process a little bit and the point I think I'm trying to get across in the book.

I submitted a speech to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime .

I'm almost done writing Understanding Intelligence. The book cover looks amazing (I think :D)

I filled in a few details I missed mentioning about my mushroom experience. 

I managed to convince my economics and finance professor of three years to record an episode with me. 

I wouldn't say I "convinced" him because he was always down, he's always up for a new experience. 

He's an investor, an analyst, a consultant and funny enough we didn't even bring up finance throughout the entire episode, but it was one of the more fun Midnight Talks we've had so far. 

Energy will always move. 

Energy will always find more complicated representations of itself moving. 

An endless representation we embody. An endless representation we exist within. 

The way we talk, the way we dance, the way we dress. 

The sports we play, the abstract thoughts we discuss and debate. 

The changes in ourselves we see throughout our lives, the personalities we adopt, the situations we adapt to.

We are very much the same as chameleons that can change their colors. But we don’t change our colors by changing the color of our skins when we touch a new surface, we change our colors with how we act and carry ourselves when we find ourselves in a new place.

And we are always moving towards a new place, a new environment. Every single moment that passes we find ourselves in a new place we have to adapt ourselves to. And the only information we have about the places that are about to come, are the places that we’ve been to in the past.

We allow energy to represent itself through us in more and more complicated ways. 

And this complexity will only continue to represent itself to us. 

To itself. 

How much can we attribute to ourselves from the good that comes?

Is it something that we do or happens through us?

I'm finding it harder and harder to attribute anything to myself, or identify with many of things around me.

How much choice did we really have with us being ourselves?

And how much choice did we have in the little choices we did have?

I've been accused of something I didn't see coming. It shook me for a moment but I gave it a lot of thought and tried to take a lesson out of it.

I'm home a day earlier than I should be. But I explain it all throughout the episode.

Thanks for giving me the chance to feel heard. 

I love you all and this is just one more lesson to learn throughout this journey.

What would go through your head as you take a step out of the plane?

Would you remember to breathe?

This is between me and the microphone.