Mind Witchery

My love, I have for you today the most inspiring, powerful conjuring.

Bernardine Watson is a poet, writer, and author of an award-winning memoir.

She is a force of nature. She is glamorous. She is grounded.

I just pinch myself to tell you that Dine is also a friend of mine.

I asked Dine if she'd be willing to talk about what I think she does so well,

which is conjuring the fullest self-expression.

I hope you find this conversation as inspiring and motivating as I did.

Mentioned:

Bernardine (Dine) Watson is a nonfiction writer and poet who lives in Washington. Her memoir Transplant won the 2023 Washington Writers’ Publishing House prize for nonfiction. Dine was selected by Poets and Writers as one of their “5 over 50” for 2023 and will be featured in the magazine’s November/December issue.

My Build Your Trust (in) Funds group coaching starts TONIGHT! https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0qdOCopjkiGdEgQpyeLRQwvQwunriaDCHc

Make Magic:

If you are not your whole full self,

the world will not know you, and

you will not know yourself.

It’s time to start treating yourself like

the main character in your own story.

Like you are the most important person in the world.

I chose to rekindle this spell because it felt appropriate

for the uncomfortable, uncertain times we find ourselves in.

Clear, deep, whole self-honoring boundaries

are challenging to build and to hold.

I hope this spell helps you to create and fortify some boundaries,

and to protect your peace and integrity.

Mentioned:

The very insightful book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA

Make Magic:

Self-honoring boundaries have clearly defined terms and consequences,

and they’re enforced when the boundary is crossed.

When you draw and hold these boundaries for yourself,

you’re setting an example for all of us who aren’t sure

we deserve to have our integrity respected.

This week I’m resharing an episode

that I truly believe will help you make the most

of your one wild and precious life.

Paying attention to the values underneath our choices

(our own values, the values of our dominating culture,

and all the ways in which those values conflict)

is so valuable when we’re trying to understand

why we make decisions that don’t feel right.

Mentioned:

Mind Witchery Ep. 135 - Conjuring Integrity feat. Emma Gannon

timewitchery.com/planner, where you can get a Time Witchery anti-planner to help you focus on the moments that wake you up.

The fantastic, insightful book Values in Therapy, by Jenna LeJeune and Jason B. Luoma.

Make Magic:

If you feel that you’re falling short of a standard,

or that you’re doing shit you do not want to do

in order to meet a standard, the problem is not you.

The problem is a mismatch between the values you cherish

and the values you’ve been conditioned to prioritize.

Look at your life, and ask yourself:

“What values am I living as I move through the world, and are they truly my own?”

When I read The Success Myth by bestselling author Emma Gannon,

I knew she really got what integrity was all about.

It sounds wonderful. But, like most things that serve our whole selves,

it’s Really. Fucking. Hard.

It’s a lifelong practice that’s constantly evolving,

with tons of ups and down, victories and setbacks.

Emma Gannon joins us to talk about her relationship with integrity,

and how putting her values first has changed her life.

Mentioned:

Emma Gannon is a Sunday Times bestselling non-fiction author and award-winning novelist. Her most recent book, The Success Myth, was chosen as a “best book of the month” by Apple. She runs the popular newsletter The Hyphen on Substack at http://thehyphen.substack.com, and she’s on Instagram @emmagannonuk.

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, by Dr. Richard Schwartz

Make Magic:

Living in integrity isn’t a straight line.

It’s a living process. It expands and contracts,

ebbs and flows, grows and sheds.

It requires us to embrace all the parts of ourselves,

and listen closely to the messages they're sending us.

While I nurture and care for my creative spark,

I’m resharing episodes that just might be right on time for you.

This week’s spell was originally prompted by a listener,

who was struggling to be generous with herself when

her perfectionist tendencies were urging her to

Do More, Better, Faster, Now.

How can she (and we) we honor our very high standards

in a way that doesn’t become self-punishing?

Mentioned:

If you haven’t already, click on over to nataliekmiller.com and sign up for my Sunday Letter! It’s full of magic just for you.

While you’re there, visit nataliekmiller.com/contact and let me know what spells would add sparkle to your life.

Make Magic:

Your inner perfectionist is a part of you,

and she deserves love and engagement.

If you send her on the right missions and

gently orient her away from worrying about

other people’s standards, you can work with her

in an incredibly constructive way.

This week I’m continuing my creative adjustment,

giving myself time to let my brain and heart rest and recharge.

I’m resharing an episode of Mind Witchery

all about replenishing the self.

If you’re out here with big dreams and a big heart

in the not-so-golden Age of Burnout, this is the spell for you.

Press play to learn all about Treats:

what they are, when to use them,

and how they will completely charm your life.

Mentioned:

Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

Subscribe to the Mind Witchery Sunday Letter, for sparks of inspiration in your Inbox each weekend.

Make Magic:

Create a Treats Menu - a whole bunch of ways large and small you can love on yourself.

Notice how your days go when you practice Treats as fuel. What happens to your mood? Your to-do list?

Remember: Treats Practice is likely going to unearth limiting beliefs. Get curious about how else they might be messing with you, and use Treats Practice to gently challenge them.

This week I’m following my own advice about creativity,

and giving myself space to rest and recharge.

I’m resharing an episode of Mind Witchery about setting goals.

You’ve probably been told there’s one best way to set attainable goals.

It’s built on a rigid, quantitative paradigm that works for some people.

I am absolutely not one of them, and I bet you aren’t, either.

Here’s a goal-setting system for the rest of us,

who aren’t motivated by numbers,

but are inspired by meaning, values, and the difference our goals make in the world.

Mentioned:

Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies

Make Magic:

We’ve collected reflection questions for each bit of M.A.G.I.C. Join our email list and you’ll be taken right to the Set MAGIC Goals worksheet.

Transcript: Rekindling: Creating MAGIC Goals

If you’re an entrepreneur, forging connections is so important.

We want our marketing and outreach to help people like, know, and trust us.

Theoretically, this makes them want to purchase things from us, partner with us etc.

My fellow witch and community networking expert Jennifer Battle

has been thinking a lot about the Like, Know, Trust factor,

and how to make sure it centers and honors our most important values.

I love the way she has redefined the concept, and I know you will, too.

Mentioned:

Jennifer Battle is a Connection Queen and Business Community Leader, who helps fempreneurs break the rules to amplify their brand and business through community, collaboration, and authenticity. Her new podcast Unf*kwitable drops September 12. It celebrates people changing the world by being unapologetically themselves, taking the difficult path, and creating the lives and businesses that they want. Join the community here.

Make Magic:

Jennifer’s Familiarity, Joy, and Integrity cycle

re-envisions Like, Know, Trust as a process of

sharing your authentic self and the values you cherish.

It means being open and honest rather than performative,

and sharing things that speak to and about you,

rather than trying to chase trends.

This week I’m following my own advice about creativity,

and giving myself space to rest and recharge.

I’m resharing an episode of Mind Witchery about discipline.

Do you wish you had more of it?

It is possible to become more efficient, focused, and potent in your work.

Here’s a magical reframe that can help you get there.

Mentioned:

Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies

Make Magic:

Rather than fitting yourself into someone else’s productivity box, create a habitat that supports you in your work preferences.

Consider your relationship to Time and Rhythm: WHEN do you work best? What’s a good rhythm for you? Which hours and days are best suited to which activities?

Think about Place. What kinds of environments encourage focus for you?

What motivates you? Plans? Impulse? Deadlines? Inspiration? Learning what sparks your Get It Done energy changes everything.

Transcript: Rekindling: Cultivating Discipline

This week I’m following my own advice about creativity,

and giving myself space to rest and recharge.

I’m resharing an episode of Mind Witchery

about the ways our overnight-success-obsessed culture

keeps us from seeing the truth of - and finding comfort in - the cycles of creation.

I love a good metaphor, so this episode uses an agricultural analogy

to rethink progress as cyclical rather than linear,

slow and co-creative rather than fast,

and dominating, and sustainable rather than explosive.

Make Magic:

Use this metaphor to get new perspective on

where you find yourself right now, re: progress.

If your endeavor were a field, which stage is it in?

For what developments do you need to give yourself credit?

Transcript: Rekindling: Real-izing Progress