This Is A Buffer, Not A Quick Fix

A daily mental well-being or mindset practice builds up your reserves, much in the same way that eating healthy builds up your immune system’s capability, or saving gives you a buffer against unplanned economic hits.

I’m deliberately using those two examples because they relate to the situation we all find ourselves in right now.

Mindfulness practice, expressing gratitude, building awareness and self compassion all help you deal with the unexpected pressures life can throw at you. And they need to be built up in the same way our immune system and finances are, one almost imperceptible piece at a time.

Does that mean starting a mental health plan now is no use? Absolutely not. Even one minute not being overwhelmed by stress and worry is worth it. In the first day you might go straight back to anxiety right after you’re done. But the more you do the more you’ll find yourself more comfortable with uncertainty and not swept along by anxiety or worry.

Even if you have never practiced any of this before, start now. Not with the expectation that it will fix everything, but with the expectation that it will compound and give you more mental strength each day.

SLOW DOWN PLEASE!!!

I’ve seen a lot of people this week post that they’ve never been busier and they’re working well past midnight and have stopped taking care of themselves.

I bet it feels like if you don’t do everything right now you’ll lose it all, right? And that things are changing so much and you’ve lost your routine and there’s new information daily that you have to act now!

We’re all sprinting but this is a marathon!!

PLEASE! Slow down and take care of yourself!! When you’re sleep deprived, surviving off vending machine snacks, and neglecting your down time, your decision making is seriously impaired! And you’re going to make mistakes that will cost you more than you save by rushing into something straight away.

Nassim Taleb talks a lot about the need for intervention, when letting things work themselves out is better. Ryan Holiday loves to quote that “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Slow down, take time to recharge yourself in whatever form is best for you. We’re in this for the long haul so don’t make yourself an after thought while trying to fix everything. You at your best will have a lot more positive impact than you in a fatigued and harried state.

After This Is Over

I think it’s fair to say we’ve all spent a lot of time lately wondering what the future will be like. And our brains just love thinking about the future and imagining all the threats that exist there.

Wondering what you’ll lose in the coming months is easy, your brain needs no help in doing that. So I’d like to give you a tool to change your mindset and your daily habits.

Ask yourself “After this is over, what would I proud of myself for doing during this time?”

Imagine yourself in a few months, or next year, looking back at this time and thinking of how you handled your emotions, who you helped, and how you grew as a person.

Every time you find yourself stuck in a worry loop, ask this question and use it to direct your actions and I promise you’ll feel better.

Your Home Environment & Your Mental Health

Normally I only talk to people about their environment in respect to their mental health when they’ve developed a ritual but since so many of us are forced into spending time at home I think it’s important to give some tips of how your environment impacts your mental health.

If you’re working from home the best advice I can give you is to use your breaks between tasks or meeting to clean up a bit. Decluttering your space does actually help declutter your mind.

You don’t need to do a full deep clean, but you can certainly fold one item of clothing, or bring your coffee cup back to the kitchen. Little things add up and you’ll feel a lot better about yourself the more you clean up.

Improving your environment is very empowering, and cleaning up is the most accessible way we have to proving to ourselves we can reshape our world.

Secondly I’d advice that you change into work clothes at the start of the day and out of them at the end of the day. Staying in your PJs doesn’t help you feel productive and valuable, but switching back to comfy clothes allows a clear mental division so work doesn’t eat into your necessary rest and relaxation time.

These are two simple and powerful practical ways you can improve your mental state at home. 

You can protect yourself and be socially conscious too

You may feel right now like you have to chose between looking after yourself or fulfilling your obligations to other people.

Confirmed cases are on the rise and the economy is contracting, so it’s natural to be anxious. The instinctual thing to do is to grab what you can and hoard to protect yourself.

When we act out of fear or scarcity we almost always end up hurting ourselves, either in the short run or the long run.

The best mindset to have is one in which you look for everyone to make the most out of the situation - either by minimising loses or maximising gains. There is no need to martyr yourself nor is there a need for someone to lose for you to win.

Yesterday I drastically reduced my work time and number of messages I read/replied to as I felt the overwhelm come on. This small slowdown allows me to be calm for others and help more people today than if I kept on ploughing away.

I’m a huge advocate of making sure your internal needs are met and I still believe that the case. Approaching the coming week with the mindset of “we” brings you a sense of togetherness and support, rather than the opposite, which leaves us feeling divided, antagonistic and isolated.

You can absolutely protect yourself and be socially conscious/responsible at the same time. Fear is contagious, but so is calm. And you get to chose what emotions you spread and what emotions you let into your mind.

What’s the Most Good I Can Do Right Now?

When and if you find yourself stuck - either physically or inside your mind - a simple yet very powerful question you can ask yourself is “What’s the most good I can do right now?”

This works so well because it gets your focus away from ruminating about problems or lamenting your predicament and into solution/action mode.

The most good may be “self centred” like taking a break, tending to your basic needs like feeding yourself or taking a nap. It could be improving your environment - either cleaning up the area around you (which has shown time and time again to have positive health benefits). Or it could be a much larger project.

If you find yourself unable to do the thing you most want to do now, asking the question brings you back to positive action.

While you’re engaged in positive action (positive action as defined by your standards) your mind isn’t worrying and your self critic is silenced. Add enough of these actions up and your day has become something you’re proud of, and you feel proud of yourself too.

So right now, what’ the most good you can do?

A perfect time to practice loving kindness

A lot of people may be panicking right now. You may feel it’s an overreacting or you may agree with them. For most of us it’s a very uncertain time. There’s a lot of information to absorb, rumours of what’s to come, and then fears about what this will mean for your day to to day life in the short term, not to mention the health and economic challenges.

This all highlights how high the level of anxiety there is in day to day life, and how fragile our sense of security is for a lot of us.

Loving-Kindness is the practice of wishing people well. It’s the desire to see people safe, healthy and happy. Loving-Kindness can be applied to yourself as much as others.

In practical terms we can reassure people who are frightened and anxious, providing them with empathy to their emotions and if possible action steps they can do to regain a sense of control.

We can also use this opportunity to help others, provided we aren’t putting ourselves at risk. That can be as simple as a check in text or collecting groceries for someone who can’t leave the house.

The benefit to you of course is increased peace of mind and sense of connection, with less energy spent worrying and more spent making your little corner of the world better.

Coronavirus, Containment & Compassion

I am not an epidemiologist or pathologist, so this post isn’t about how to stop the spread of Covid-19 or about washing your hands 🤲🏼

A lot of organisations are recommending soft quarantine or social isolation to break the chain and flatten out the peak of the contagion.

If you’re in any way driven this can be frustrating as it slows down your goals - either personal or business.

So where does compassion come into play? Simply put the more energy you’re wasting being frustrated with situations, expressing resentment or complaining, it’s energy that could be used better.

Self Compassion involves asking yourself what’s the most good you can do for yourself given your circumstances? If you’re at home can you catch up on sleep, prioritise what work is really important as opposed to busy work, improve your environment by doing a deep clean and of course investing the time becoming aware of and friendly with your thoughts.

Meditation is Your Best To Do List

We all have so many demands on our time, our energy, and our attention. And everything is going to come at you like it’s life or death, super urgent and priority #1!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten to do something important, but not urgent, only to remember during my Clarity Break. Then I do it and I know I’ve taken positive action instead of just reacting to the demands of life.

Think of your minute as mental sorting, allowing the unimportant issues to fade away while the really valuable information or actions to go to the top of your to do list.

Julia Roberts was wrong!

I was talking with a client the other day and they told me why they didn’t meditate, or felt they couldn’t meditate, and it was because of Julia Roberts!

In “Eat, Pray, Love” - a movie admittedly I’ve never seen - Julia’s character goes off to India and is told that she just needs to empty her heard of all thoughts. And honestly, who can do that!!??

Meditation, mindfulness, clarity breaks, whatever you want to call it. They are not ways of shutting off our thoughts. Instead they’re moments where we take the time to observe our thoughts, feelings, needs, or body sensations - which are always present. We’re deliberately, consciously checking in with ourselves.

And while we’re here, her career choice in Pretty Woman is also not recommended 🤪