Miserable Retail Slave

Hey. How was your summer? We're back.

The wedding guest/ going to a wedding with someone you've never met or talked to/ an online dating open invitation (2:03)/ slaying it like Bugs Bunny at his finest (3:03)/ the age when "maybe" became a "no" (5:58)/ Meatloaf philosophy (7:34)/ poetry in motion (8:54)/ the judgmental round (10:10)/ Tommy likes drawing seahorses as kids (10:47)/ is the Bermuda Triangle ok now? (12:46)/ Mr Everything (17:42)/ perpetually frustrated (20:14)/ overreaction theater: the case of being cropdusted by a Twizzler-eating old woman (23:10)/ Miserable Retail Slave history from S04E19: The Convenience Nurse, Honey Quotas, and Diner Terms of Endearment (35:11)/ Dboy is a former child Jeopardy champion (42:11)/ Tommy likes Justin from Epic Film Guys (45:00)/ THE MOOSE and the problem with pop-Country (47:00)/ Tommy defends pop-country (50:00)/ the Faster Horses country music fest (56:00)/ Blake Shelton (1:00:18)/ Missed Connections (1:02:00)/ hollerin for your jalapeños (1:05:00)/ the most desperate missed connection ever (1:07:29)/ The reason we've been off all summer (1:15:03)/ shoutouts : Just the Worst podcast and The Cryptinaut (1:20:00)/ Randy's urban legend. The Black Panther (1:21:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

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Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Flying cars/ Nonstop Glee/ The Legend of Wacky Warren (1:57)/ Tide Pod challengers (2:30)/ Flirting with girls in a flying car (3:24)/ Cheesy or Corny: which is the worst food descriptor (3:45)/ Proper Bro-tocol (5:09)/ Tommy's Beard and transformation into a skunk ape (6:05)/ Tommy's impeccable brows (6:51)/ Bacon obsessions (10:19)/ an intervention for Tommy (10:42)/ A middle age choose your own adventure (13:00)/ Woodie Wagon cars (15:00)/ Elon Musk pledges to help with the Flint water crisis (17:00)/ Elon Musk's Not a Flamethrower (19:36)/ women with bangs (20:25)/ an entrepreneur (22:34)/ searching for my eBae (22:40)/ "Don't look at at my scabs" (23:50)/ Tommy's into kayaking and the world will never be the same (25:13)/ endangered bumblebees and counting bees (29:13)/ Randy's Career Fair: Becoming a hot dog guy (32:05)/ Up North, Michigan (39:00)/ the United Steaks of America (39:16)/ DJ Shouty Mouth and The Dumpster Fire (42:30)/ Steak debates (42:45)/ Revelations about Nathan - the best gas station attendant in the world (46:35)/ missed Connections (50:10)/ Bad Boys (54:53)/ Bar stares (55:40)/ Big hats and all day grins (58:07)/ That time that Tommy made an audience member cry (58:38)/ cinematic movie Jokers (1:02:10)/ Tommy is Randy's big, fat memory/ wild hogs

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Recorded on the road to Lansing, MI...

Post Malone, face tattoos, "Always Tired", and adjectives on your face/ Skin Deep Thinkers (1:28)/ Inviting celebrities to your wedding (1:45)/ Riding on the roof of your car (6:16)/ Road trip stunt tales (8:43)/ mooning tales (9:41)/ online dating nonsense and Kayak (14:23)/ a text message sent (17:21)/ opening up a barely town convenience store (17:41)/ creating a dating app for customers to hit on retail employees (23:49)/ "Straight Up Randy (27:17)/ how do you talk to girls?/ millennial dating terms from Cosmo (29:56)/ Links (33:48)/ Tommy's comedy show (35:23)/ He-Man Woman Hater's Club and Kayak responds (36:10)/ The new phone excuse (37:34)/ people watching and watching a man completely bomb when trying to hit on a girl wearing a bathroom towel (40:00)/ Empty vessels on the phone (45:00)/ Hecklers vs comedians (48:00)/ Pascal the Dog (49:22)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear: If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Tommy's Maroon 5 haircut/ Mick Foley (:45)/ Too many "ladder falls to the face" (1:00)/ A ladder-cage Match aka Hell in the Cell (WWE King of the Ring 1998) (1:22)/ "He's like Johnny Knoxville, if Johnny Knoxville was a complete and total anarchist, nihilist, and masochist (3:02)/ Randy's first job (3:30)/ The Miserable WrestleTalk Podcast/ Late fees are stupid (4:40)/ Taking an IQ test to get a video store job (5:15)/ Redbox users are the most entitled people (6:30)/ "I would turtle like Claude Lemieux" (7:30)/ The Red Wings and Colorado Avalanche rivalry (7:44)/ Goalie fight/ The best hockey game (10:00)/ Resting b face (12:44-)/ The intimidation of an aggressive "huh?" (14:12)/ RWF - resting weird face (14:33)/ stop with the Dad bod (14:45)/ the slob bod (15:25)/ Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining (20:00)/ Tommy's big day off (21:23)/ a tearfest (22:45) "you gotta go to dot com" (23:22)/ Tommy visits a Golden Corral (24:44)/ online dating nonsense (29:00)/ what happened with Just Ask? (29:34)/ on a scale from troll to gargoyle, how hot are you? (46:20)/ hiding behind this ring of matrimony (46:39)/ introducing Kayak (47:40)/ Tommy has never dated anyone (49:00)/ something crazy happened (57:47)/ Facegym (1:00:58)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear: If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

We've been known to go on tangents during episodes of Miserable Retail Slave, so here they are. Smaller, bite-sized episodes of your favorite big, dumb comedy show: Tangents of the Damned.

In this short, mini-episode, we talk about Deadpool, pick our favorite Ryan Reynolds movies, get nostalgic about skate parties, and cringe at the thought of the couples skate.

Heroes/ Tommy lies about never seeing a super hero movie/ Deadpool interrupts Stephen Colbert's monologue on The Late Show (1:25)/ what fictional character is as inseparable from the actor that plays him than Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool (1:43)/ comedians as social commentators (2:14)/ favorite Ryan Reynolds movie (2:16)/ Explaining Deadpool (4:00)/ Miserable Retail Slave steps into "Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics" territory (5:00)/ Deadpool was cool because he was created in the '90s (6:19)/ skate parties at Skateland/ playing "A Nightmare on My Street" (7:10)/ running from the couples skate (7:42)/ never make eye contact with anyone in real life (8:40)

It's that time of year where people are graduating high school/ one more graduating class to remind you how old you're getting (1:29)/ definition of "sexist" (2:29)/ Can we get published guidelines for all the PC words we should be saying? (3:29)/ a refreshingly honest graduation speech (4:25)/ school is weird (5:30)/ what percentage of kids go to college now? (6:14)/ Randy's shattered dreams (7:03)/ still best friends with your high school best friend(8:31)/ skate or die! (12:00)/ "I guess round balls don't tip over" (12:34)/ Skate parties (12:52)/ living in a big city (14:00)/ "I live in the city that never sleeps and I'm going to bed early"/ subscribing to The New Yorker (15:32)/ Fitness magazines at Walmart (16:57-18:23)/ let's learn about art! (19:00)/ Tommy sketches former Red Wings goalie Chris Osgood (20:30)/ "My Secret is in the Shading"/ Tommy's sketching YouTube show (22:30)/ Tony Danza is not The Fonz (23:40)/ The Fonz was Wooderson from Dazed and Confused (24:10)/ Side of Beef meat art (25:55)/ Fortnite video game (26:34)/ Fortnite streamer, Ninja is super famous (27:23)/ iTunes review (34:01)/ Uptown vs Downtown (35:35)/ Quality Question: haunted houses. Why don't we just burn them all down?(36:30)/ Tommy's experience with a spirit at the Holly Hotel (37:52)/ Tommy's good experience (39:00)/ "one of my old socks is in my pants"/ the Grim Reaper tugged on Tommy's ear/ Finally, the quality Question (42:36)/ online dating nonsense (44:37)/ a picky Senfeldian man (47:14)/ online dating profiles (48:16)/ the profiles that say "Just Ask" (49:16)/ the fine line between creative and stupid (53:00)/ Scorpion from Mortal Kombat is a man who loves, he always wants to pull you closer/ "don't you quit or do you quilt because I'm not into quitters"/ Online dating questions for Just Ask (55:00)/ Justin Verlander or Matthew Stafford (1:00:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear: If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Tommy doesn't know the difference between slur and slang/ The Pre-Date / The pre-date rulebook/ "no one's ever been charming in the presence of a scone"/ 2018 - The Year of Scumbags and Forced Apologies/ The Internet - we're in the business of boning/ That Active Shooter game/ Tommy's living his best life/ if aliens came to Earth, how long until someone wanted to eat them?/ Octopi are aliens / The Giant Squid/ Hugs from Bigfoot/ Tommy's Soapbox/Will we take a hike? and Weird Tommy/Quality Question : What if grass is conscious and the smell of freshly cut grass is the smell of souls leaving their bodies?/ Thunderdome- Tampa Man vandalizes cars that reminded of college bullies/ Man spends 4 hours in underwear on top on Wendy's/ best fast food mascot ever/ Deep Don Knotts Sniff/ The Incredible Mr Limpet talk

We've been known to go on tangents during episodes of Miserable Retail Slave, so here they are. Smaller, bite-sized episodes of your favorite big, dumb comedy show: Tangents of the Damned.

This time, we cover Facebook getting into the worlds of online dating and cryptocurrency. Plus, Weezer covering Toto's "Africa" and "Roseanna" and the significance of the song Africa to us.

Facebucks (of Facebook dating and cryptocurrency) - Can you imagine if Tommy could comprehend everything that went on around him? - Predicting the future - "Making your own adventure" Ice Cream - Tommy learns who Jean Luc Picard is. - (21:59 - 28:06)

Cuomosexuals - Weezer covers Toto. - Africa - Roseanna - Why "Africa" is significant in the guys lives - Karaoke Club - Rivers Combover

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear: If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy. Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer. Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Live from Livestream for the Cure 2.0 with Epic Film Guys and special guests, Jake and Tom from Jake and Tom Conquer the World

We were part of Livestream for the Cure 2.0 recently, a 30 hour live streaming event put on by the Epic Film Guys to raise money for cancer research. We had a blast kicking the event off. So thanks to everyone who donated, viewed, shared, liked, retweeted, or thought about doing any of those things. The event managed to raise an amazing $11,545.88 for cancer research!!!

Here is our contribution to the event. Come listen to Miserable Retail Slave Live with Epic Film Guys and special appearances from the lads from Jake and Tom Conquer the World!

A drive-by kissing/ Online dating nonsense/ dating a pregnant woman when it's not your baby and all the social anxieties that come with that/ Refreshing online dating honesty/ Cat Poems/ Tommy insults/ No one lets Randy tell the AIM dating story/ Jake and Tom join the show from the Motor City Comic Con/ Random interviews from the comic con/ Nick from Epic Film Guys reads some missed connections

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/ Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear: If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy. Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer. Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Vampire, werewolf, zombie bites/ Cub Thompson and new stage names (:45)/ a slacker vampire (1:00)/ comedic glory (3:27)/ Evil Genius on Netflix and collar bombs (4:14)/ aftermath of doing Livestream for the Cure 2.0 (8:54)/ The last time Tommy is with Dave Landau??? (13:50)/ Kokomo, Indiana (14:54)/ compound media (18:00)/ The girl who threw poop at the Tim Horton's employee (19:11)/ stopping shoplifters in retail (21:00)/ Tommy's shoplifting story (23:00)/ "you're not the force" (25:07)/ The Untold AIM Story (will never be told)/ actually having fun podcasting (26:00)/ Tommy's weird women (27:22)/ Sunday Afternoon Sorrows and The WingMen of West Michigan podcast (32:00)/ Tommy tries to breathe alcohol (33:46)/ childhood fear of basements (34:18)/ Contra (35:00)/ The Ghost in Three Men and a Baby (38:10)/ Tommy's adventures UP NORTH Michigan (40:02)/ you cant make fun of anything (42:12)/ "lady, you're not a pepperoni pizza. I would never touch you"/ Tommy's doppelgänger (45:10)/ Canadian gimp (46:12)/ Body shots and bachelorette parties (48:00)/ playing and critiquing the beginning of the first ep of MRS (51:29)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear: If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else: http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com