Miserable Retail Slave

This time, we welcome one of our very first listeners ever to the show. The man, the myth, the legend: special guest, Armchair Producer Doug Goodwin!

Can you ride a bike?/ an outlier for a lot of things (1:20)/ an untold story of the bike (3:20)/ The Tomato Throw (6:50)/ "Playboy" Tommy Thompson (13:00)/ Armchair Producer Doug Goodwin (13:46)/ getting listeners is like trying to dig out of Shawshank (19:41)/ how did Doug meet his wife (22:06)/ Doug's old school online dating adventures (29:10)/ Stalker technology (30:46)/ Tommy's afraid of 2,000 people (35:00)/ The return of Funnel Cloud Charles (43:34)/ What's the worst podcast you've ever listened to? (47:22)/ Doug produces the show (50:06)/ "Kickstart My Heart" makes you drive fast (53:30)/ Trump's Hamberders (56:27)/ the worst online date that Doug ever had (59:42)/ Chicken in waffles in Atlanta (1:05:00)/ the Dukes of Hazzard and censoring the General Lee (1:07:00)/ Millenials hate Seinfeld (1:11:30)/ Fyre festival and Instagram (1:13:00)/ Catfish of America (1:18:00)/ rock pop and hip-pop (1:20:00)/ The 12 Labors of Funnel Cloud Charles (1:28:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Other people's pets/ Tommy is a dog and Randy is a cat (1:00)/ Zeppelin, the lost cat (1:44)/ Pet antivaxxers (2:20)/ Plenty of Fish name change (4:35)/ Damien and Jake the Snake Facts (6:00)/ Head over heels and fear of flips (7:00)/ The Spit Curse (9:50)/ 2019 new you (16:23)/ Batman and Robin and being a George Clooney Batman (18:00)/ The Sweatpants Mentality (20:00)/ Cheers and We need a throwback '80s theme song (21:00)/ The Gas Station Troubadour at the McGasStation (24:50)/ The guitar guy at the party (26:56)/ The most amazing musical moment ever (28:00)/ A senior citizen West Side Story (28:40)/ people can't drive in a straight line any more (31:58)/ The Doorbell Licker who licked a doorbell for 3 hours (32:30)/ The Retail Moment (36:20)/ Tommy's adventures in Victoria's Secret (36:47)/ Ants on a log (41:00)/ a personal missed connection witnessed in Chicago (43:00)/ Missed Connections: of cupcakes and Goochland (46:00)/ Alexa, make love to me (53:36)/ Livestream for the Cure 3.Oh My God We're Gonna Raise So Much Money (55:00)/ Thor doesn't have a cellphone (56:00)/ Tommy opened for Jay Larson of The Crab Feast and the Table of Liars (56:30)/ Home videos of 8 year old Tommy (58:11)/ Tommy and The Beloved have a relationship intervention for Randy (59:33)/ Catfish of America (1:04:35)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Animals are getting sassier/ Tommy talks about the deep sea (3:00)/ a wall of geese (5:00)/ Tommy finally agrees that he has polka dot eyes (8:00)/ Possum talk (9:35)/ Possum the Peanuts (11:02)/ Confidence (12:47)/ Christmas (21:00)/ watching a Salvation Army bell ringer slowly lose his mind (24:15)/Springsteen on Broadway (26:22)/ Every man should be a Bruce Springsteen (28:13)/ no hope for an online dater (35:02)/ online dating ads/ #swipelife/ "I'll be some girl's cuddledud" (36:00)/ MRS speed dating? (38:00)/ there are no single people in public (40:34)/ Miserable Retail Slave presents the pros and cons of dating (45:07)/ Online dating nonsense (51:32)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

The Shuffling Pajama Idiots/ The promise of the text message (1:30)/ these horrible texts (2:00)/ why are there spelling errors in texts (3:00) / people need a good ducking (3:20)/ an app to compose texts for you (4:00)/ "I don't fear the robot apocalypse because my iPhone battery won't last more than 10 hours" (6:30)/ you better bag yourself a Wanda (9:03)/ outtie bellybuttons (14:00)/ "I've got problems for days and miles to drive, tell no lies and talk no jive" (16:00)/ Alcohol - the smartest thing a dummy can do and the human Molotov cocktail (17:00)/ The important problems of high school athletes (19:04)/ a raw nerve and a classic ep of MRS (20:00)/ peaks and valleys (21:00)/ a Yukon Cornelius Guy (22:00)/ The Bizarro Matchmaker (27:33)/ a special passenger on the struggle bus (32:00)/ Live Randy unplugged - acoustic performance of his thoughts (36:15)/ The Playlist of Tears (37:00)/ trading Tony Gwens for Kirby Pucketts (43:20)/ crashing the stage of The Machine Shop (45:00)/ Far Behind (47:52)/ Randy is an episode of Growing Pains (51:00)/ Tommy is worried about Tony Danza (53:00)/ I should just (58:00)/ capturing moments (1:00:00)/ Levels (1:06:29)/ what the podcast has done for us (1:08:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Mr Worldly is about to speak: it's better to be weird (2:02)/ normal people at comedy shows (5:20)/ Talking to the typical Michigan Male (5:55)/ the beautiful thing about idiots is they're sincere about everything (9:46)/ Tommy is the Bob Ross of Comedy - Happy little Jokes 16:18)/ Snow plow season (17:32)/ who will rule the driveways: Fred or Frank? (19:30)/ Talking Taft (21:37)/ Sean Connery on Rosie O' Donnell (23:05)/ Taft gets stuck in a bathtub and loves bathtubs (25:55)/ The Future is Sweet Caroline (29:35)/ The Guts Game (33:35)/ Missed Connections (37:39)/ a love letter to nobody (37:45)/ senor butthurt (44:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Surly Temple and the stunning optimist/ Tommy Horse Noise (1:15)/ children are our future (1:45)/ do believe in luck (4:25)/ The universe is a merry prankster (5:45)/ The story of an Abe Lincoln impersonator (6:30)/ Fabio vs the Seagulls (8:10)/ The six fingers of Abe (13:29)/ Give me a solid Taft (15:20)/ John Tyler talk (16:23)/ The lessons of Gabe Lincoln (18:24)/ Thanksgiving Special (22:23)/ Yams (23:30)/ White meat vs Dark meat (26:16)/ why do we talk to babies (30:00)/ Haley Joel Osment (33:37)/ Tommy and Randy Big Night Out part 2 and Bar Band culture (34:49)/ the worst year to be alive was 536 (47:09)/ Thunderdome: the weirdest stories of the month from Florida (51:30)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Macho Kool Aid Man/ how did cavemen function without energy drinks? (1:30)/ leave tastes alone BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR ME (3:20)/ where have we been? (10:00)/ holidays (10:30)/ ominous plans for the future (12:45)/ Tommy Conscious (13:20)/ Randy's very 1st baby picture (14:45)/ Tommy and Randy's Big Night Out (17:25)/ Dance Party (19:15)/ Tommy becomes a band groupie (21:40)/ The drunkest woman (23:00)/ Matt the major dudebro (27:00)/ Electric Ladies (28:10)/ The key to getting all the ladies (29:35)/ The Last Saint in America (35:00)/ All Randy's Eve (38:10)/ Man starts legal battle to change his name. Young god (39:00)/ 32 is the age tipping point (40:45)/ are there 69 year olds on Tinder (44:00)/ missed Connections (46:00)/ online dating nonsense (54:00)/ Tommy's been married a year! (1:01:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Randy's Career Fair: GIF farmer/ Communication is hard these days (2:00)/ The Great GIF Crisis (2:50)/ The Office (6:34)/ Do you even know what makes a magical GIF work? (8:16)/ Tommy has thoughts about a Marc Maron meme (12:53)/ No adults know how to actually adult (15:00)/ Stephen Colbert's thoughts on comedy (16:20)/ Stealing someone's birthday thunder (17:30)/ Stealing moments between gas stations (19:36)/ you can tell how old a man is by how curved his hat's bill is (20:00)/ A gas station tale (21:30)/ hitchhikers and taking candy from old men (24:00)/ Stop with your Facebook comments (26:38)/ A rant on Internet opinions (27:00)/ Elon Musk on Joe Rogan (36:00)/ Halloween is the best (37:00)/ Top 5 Favorite Candy (39:00)/ We need to change these job interviews (42:16)/ Role playing a job interview (43:00)/ the return of Yahoo Answers: what's the most interesting thing to happen at work(53:25)

We become a true crime podcast/ A dog playing frisbee (2:30)/ Tommy forgets his tattoos/ The man with the adult coloring book arms (4:00)/ Greta Van Fleet And Frankenmuth, Michigan/ "In the name of Fido, I commit vengeance upon her person..."/ The Spider Behind You (11:50)/ EB White (12:30)/ A weird week: walking on a flaming carrot (13:55)/ being rich is a waste to a slob (16:36)/ Eminem vs Machine Gun Kelly and Rap Devil talk (18:00)/ older Eminem albums (19:00)/ Poetry Battles: ee cummings diss (22:28)/ That Drake (23:00)/ Post Malone and Aerosmith on MTV VMAs (24:00)/ more legendary song: "In My Feelings" by Drake vs "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran (28:05)/ Love to Atlantic Star and "Always" (30:24)/ GQ Fall Fashion magazine (31:48)/ Rock Star pinups (32:30)/ Thunderdome: couple installs drive thru window in their trailer to sell drugs (35:28)/ Tommy was on classic rock radio and classic rock radio is weird (45:08)/ Radio Dann with two Ns (47:30)/ the moment Tom became Tommy (49:30)/ YouTube, the Views podcast, and David Dobrik (51:42)/ missed Connections Echo and The Bunnymen/ People you went to college with (56:00)/ Lisa and the most hipster thing ever (57:00)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com

Getting up in the morning is a waste of time (3:30)/ Randy is a catch-22 (4:00)/ Voodoo Priest John Madden and his curse (5:00)/ Sunday Scaries and Summer Scaries (6:52)/ exploring things (9:30)/ A crazy Detroit Adventure: of live nude girls, Optimus Prime, and beer (10:00)/ Pistachios, the Infinite Nut (15:00)/ Quality Question: why do people try to craft the perfect joke when it'll never beat a well-times fart? (19:10)/ The Farting Comedian (19:52)/ Hooters is shutting down after recent study says millennials hate boobs (22:08)/ The first wave of grandpas or grandmas named Jayden is coming (25:05)/ Running into a forgotten sweathog (26:02)/ Miserable Retail Slave History: from S04E27. "Kevin Needs Cole Slaw"/ Be our e-bae (41:00)/ search engine humor (42:00)/ a real life Bermuda Triangle encounter (43:12)/ Iceberg cause all the problems (45:37)/ National Geographic Ignorance Podcast (48:00)/ Man buys 300 "sorry" banners (49:48)/ Hot CW babes (52:30)/ We pitch a CW show featuring a sexy Edgar Allan Poe called Poe (53:22)/ "Best" of Craigslist (56:26)/ Yeti blind (59:50)

Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826

"LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya?

Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search "Miserable Retail Slave" on the Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/

Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miserableretailslavepodcast

Follow Randy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mretailslave

Intro: "Hard Times" by Dan "D-Boy" Amboy

Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

You should most definitely subscribe to the show if you dig what you hear:

If you like that iTunes, point your Internet right here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/miserable-retail-slave/id527775275?mt=2

Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/miserable-retail-slave

If you enjoy grabbing your pods using something else:

http://miserableretailslave.libsyn.com/rss

Meet the voices behind all of the idiocy.

Randy juggles two jobs and is the miserable retail slave of the two. He lives outside beautiful Flint, MI, USA and struggles with being a lazy, yet overworked dreamer and a struggling, but barely trying writer.

Tommy also lives outside Flint, MI with The Beloved and his two step daughters. He's a stand up comedian and a man of questionable common sense. Check out his stand up dates and plan a trip to throw tomatoes at http://tomethompson.com