Misfits & Wanderers

We learned “fight or flight”, then “freeze”. In this episode we explore “fawn”.

Fight, Fight Freeze or Fawn. Our body’s automatic defense mechanisms that activate when the primal mind (in particular the amygdala) senses danger.

Fawning is the behavior most of us know as people pleasing. Seeing it as an automatic defense changes the way I looked at it and made me look at a number of things in a different way.

I use a tweet string shared with me by a member of the Misfits, Wanderers and the Rest of Us Community. The author of the string is Sam Dylan Finch and the entire string is available here: 

The book mentioned in the Episode:

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA by Pete Walker 

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

Talking Victimus Maximus. Lot of us know him. I certainly do...

Tends to convince us to frame situations gone wrong so that we are the big victims, that the world is out to get us, blah blah blah. He's convincing, for sure...

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare):

Intro-Riding On by Martin Rose

End-Drift By Drift

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

Thanksgiving.

A time for gratitude, a time for demolishing all kinds of goodies, and yes-a time for drama, judgment, and other shenanigans.

Here is a guide to navigating through it all as seamless as possible, and maybe the urge to choke someone out over a flatscreen on Black Friday won't be quite as strong.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share

To donate:

paypal.me/BeaconRJL

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

instagram.com/misfitwanders

twitter.com/misfitwanders

tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/misfitsandwanderers

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

Celebrating Good Ol’ Charlie Brown. Still as stand-up of a guy as it gets.

This is simply a tribute with the understanding that all rights to the name and character belong elsewhere.

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare):

Name of the Child-Motions

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

This episode is called "Emotional Sunburn", and it focuses on how for many of us, the understanding that rejection has nothing to do with us and can serve to support us on our path, while true, can be a devastating thing for the brains of many of us to process, and we can not only struggle with regulating emotionally but it can really hold us back with taking steps in all areas of life.

While not an official diagnosis (DSM, etc.) it is recognized by many as a neruodivergent symptom known as rejection sensitivity dysmorphia (RSD), in particular with ADHD. It can also be seen as connected to CPTSD as well. Please not that while there are still clearly things that science and medicine have yet to make consistent links with for multiple reasons, what is clear that a number of us are afflicted with this and just for knowing that we aren't the only ones, let's talk about it. Maybe knowing that this is a real thing can help us to know what is going on in the moment and give us just enough to realize that what is happening is something we need to allow to pass rather than react from in the moment. From there, it's information and possibilities that we need to explore further, through research and also through connecting with our medical and mental health professionals to understand our own unique situations.

Resources:

Living with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

https://neuroclastic.com/living-with-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/?fbclid=IwAR0ZtxD5iVnNgu3VAg4zCLzIGaks2bt3LccKDUZcrPzJUgUk1HeVznoXl5w

Is My Trauma Response RSD, C-PTSD or Both

https://themighty.com/2021/06/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-complex-post-traumatic-disorder-similarities-differences/

Person Gives A Spot-On Explanation Of Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, Many Are Surprised This ADHD Symptom Has A Name

https://www.boredpanda.com/adhd-rejection-sensitivity-dysphoria-twitter/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Emotional sunburn: What rejection sensitive dysphoria feels like to me

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/emotional-sunburn-what-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-feels-like-to-me

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: The link between ADHD and sensitivity to criticism.

https://www.drmelissashepard.com/post/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-the-link-between-adhd-and-sensitivity-to-criticism

Is It Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or Complex Trauma?

https://jessemeadows.medium.com/is-it-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-or-complex-trauma-d9d519b5bb55

More Than ‘Thin-Skinned’: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/more-than-thin-skinned-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-1130197

The Incredible Shrinking World: Life with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

https://yourcontractualobligations.medium.com/the-incredible-shrinking-world-life-with-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-62f9d08f7cc0

How Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Affects Me as a Person With ADHD

https://themighty.com/2017/12/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-emotional-sensitivity/

After recording, I learned that the story from the final segment was actually published in Reader's Digest in 1985 https://www.readersdigest.com.au/podcasts/heart/letter-in-the-wallet

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. Legion of Misfits, the host, or any platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share

To donate:

paypal.me/BeaconRJL

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

instagram.com/misfitwanders

twitter.com/misfitwanders

tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/misfitsandwanderers

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

This was asked to me point blank.

My answer surprised me, and also led to to a clarity I’d sensed for years yet couldn’t describe.

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share

To donate:

paypal.me/BeaconRJL

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

instagram.com/misfitwanders

twitter.com/misfitwanders

tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/misfitsandwanderers

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare, I use Filmora 9 to build my video and audio content):

Intro-Riding On by Martin Rose

End-Drift By Drift

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

Life is muddy, no matter how much we want to keep it clean and easy.

What if that was okay? What if the mud is okay?

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare):

Intro-Riding On by Martin Rose

End-Drift By Drift

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

Feeling seen, feeling understood, feeling like not only other people are truly listening to you, but that you're able to be fully present for yourself.

It's a simple act in theory but it can be very hard in practice for a number of reasons. Sometimes the manner somebody is trying to be seen violates boundaries. In other cases it forces us to look at things within ourselves that we quite frankly would rather not.

This gets a bit scattered admittedly, but there is so much to this and it is very hard to do any justice in a small amount of time. This involves many hard conversations and a lot of very powerful, difficult work.

That work is so important. It's not necessarily the solution to any one thing, of course. But it's the first step to EVERYTHING. Whether it's a universal conflict or an internal struggle. Macro or micro, it's the same.

We can't fix anything if we can't understand what we're all seeing. Does it mean we have to agree on what we see? Of course not, we all have different values and life experiences and we will never all see the world the same way. But the openings come when we understand each other and why we see things the way we do.

It starts with seeing. It starts with feeling seen.

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare):

Intro-Riding On by Martin Rose

End-Drift By Drift

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

There’s plenty of reason to feel anger. Certainly, in this current climate.

Anger needs to be seen and heard and is a powerful and important teacher.

It needs to do its job. But then it needs to be free to be sent on its way.

When it overstays its welcome and hijacks our logic and blocks out our consciousness...well, look around.

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare, I use Filmora 9 to build my video and audio content):

Intro-Riding On by Martin Rose

End-Drift By Drift

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com

Saw a bumper sticker that said "Save Me From the Savers"...I got what they were saying. Or not. Either way I was inspired to riff on it.

To find more of my content (writing and podcasts) please visit https://misfitsandwanderers.substack.com/

Thank you for listening, please like, subscribe and share. If you have the means, please consider supporting Misfits:

Venmo: richlevesque10

Cashapp: $richlevesque10

Social links:

https://instagram.com/misfitwanders

https://twitter.com/misfitwanders

https://tiktok.com/misfitsandwanderers

https://linktr.ee/Misfitsandwanderers

The purpose of this episode is simply to inform and offer ideas and possibilities for further exploration. Nothing said is to be taken as medical or any other advice without consulting with your service providers. The host, guests, anyone associated with creating this content or any of the hosting platforms do not acknowledge responsibility for any contrary actions taken by any listener.

Created using  Audacity and Wondershare Filmora

Music credit (music used under license granted through Wondershare, I use Filmora 9 to build my video and audio content):

Intro-Riding On by Martin Rose

End-Drift By Drift

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit beaconroad.substack.com