Missing Real with Mike D'Arrigo

Aw, what have you done, Gunn?!?  Superman is supposed to be impervious to bullets, but somehow you've managed to shoot down the greatest superhero in the world!  From another world!  Of the various iterations of the Man of Steel, this latest one's more of a little tin god.  At least he's got a dog, who basically steals the movie.  I went into it with an open mind, I left it mindless.  What went wrong??? Here to help answer that burning question is my very own cinematic Justice League of David Franklin and Dave Chan.  Have a listen to our nerdy but sensible breakdown of all things super.  Apologies to James Gunn, but watch out: this movie's about to be Krapt-on!

Some THING is wrong.  On Missing Real.  So...are you intrigued?  Concerned?  That was more or less the menacing tagline I heard on the TV commercials back when this cheap sci-fi shlock was out in the theaters.  I didn't see it until I rented the VHS tape from Blockbuster (speaking of: this movie sure wasn't one!) and saw what the big deal was.  One good sign was that it starred pinup favorite and Charlie's Angel Farrah Fawcett.  The legendary Kirk Douglas was on board as well.  And some fellow named Harvey Keitel, who I'd never heard of, or HEARD, so I simply accepted his dubbed voice as legit.  I know much better now, but back then I'd be so thrilled over any movie with an alien monster or, in this case, killer robot who walks so slowly he makes Michael Myers look like Usain Bolt.  It ain't scary, and the special effect aren't so special, but it's a bit of a cult classic.  A movie doesn't have to be great to be loved.  The same might be said of podcasts, and now you can have both all wrapped in one amazing audio gift package.  I'll bet you that whatever you're planning to listen to today, my Saturn 3 podcast will run rings around it!   

Jaws just turned 50 this year, and he's looking a little long in the tooth...but it's long overdue and the perfect time for Missing Real to take a dive into these dangerous waters!  Actually, in this epic podcast, you'll be hearing about all 4 of the Jaws films (The "Jawses"?) and their steady descent into the depths of stupidity.  From malfunctioning mechanical sharks to the laziest musical composition to ever win an Oscar and worldwide recognition, we've got a lot to chew on here, so put on your life jackets, join me on this audio expedition and hopefully we all make it back in one piece!  Now, let's go meet "Bruce"...

Before I name the movie we'll be xploring in this episode, let me make it xplicitly clear that I can spell, OK?  I don't feel I should have to xplain myself, but I have the most xtreme respect for my listeners.  This movie, however, may test the limits of your own self-respect if, like me, you actually think it's great!  It's Xtro!  Yes, that's the correct spelling.  Can we move on?  It's sort of about extra-terrestrials (not the cute, abbreviated, Spielberg kid-friendly type), and a father who gets abducted by some sort of aliens that arrive in a big bright triangle.  They're either come from outer space or a geometry class, it's never quite xplained.  Not very much makes sense in this film, but it's a wild ride with gore, sex, rubber alien rapists, homicidal giant toys, heavy British accents, snakes, panthers, slimy eggs, inappropriate hickeys...am I forgetting anything here, let me think...ah, y'know what?  Don't think!  Just watch the movie, hear the podcast, and you'll have a most xtro-ordinary xperience!   

John Cusack can't help but be cool.  He just is.  Probably owes Peter Gabriel big time, but it's not just the iconic "boom box" Say Anything thing.  His roles have ranged from record store owner to Edgar Allan Poe, he's heroically saved people from natural disasters and been terrorized by a kid on a bike demanding "two dollars!".  Versatile, right?  So here we have a typically cool 1997 Cusack film which also features a Ghostbuster/Blues Brother!  It gets better: my guest for this episode is a fellow podcaster from "across the pond", Anthony Short (or just "Ant", for short!)  He has an impressive knowledge of film, music, Marillion...all the good things in life, basically.  Now you can have a listen to our spirited banter about one of his favourites: Grosse Pointe Blank.  Why not give it a shot?   

This is certainly something "buzz-worthy"!  A brilliant reinterpretation of a classic film that not only put a clever spin on the original premise but also added...color!  In the tradition of upgraded horror masterpieces like The Thing and The Blob, we have a look at David Cronenberg's body horror bonanza, The Fly!  A scientist, played by the inimitable Jeff Goldblum (but yeah, I will definitely imitate him during this podcast!) has a little mishap while testing his invention and slowly, gradually transforms into a giant fly!  Not very convenient while he's trying to romance Geena Davis, but the script, performances, music and goopy makeup effects are really top-notch here.  I absolutely love this movie, and I think you'll love my podcast episode, which is so good it's sure to draw a swarm of listeners like flies to a pile of...er...ice cream sundaes with chocolate syrup and fresh fruit toppings!  Huh?  What did you think I was gonna say?? 

This is an obscure one, but you true film geeks know it well.  For the uninitiated, it's the movie where the guy makes out with his television set and sticks a VHS tape in his stomach.  Given that this guy is played by a typically wired James Woods, not too unusual.  Throw in Debbie Harry and some S&M, and we've got ourselves a true masterwork here.  We even get to see Blondie "in the flesh".  Or is it "the new flesh"?  Plenty of trippy, mind-bending special effects, trademark Cronenberg "body horror" and a timely theme of people getting obsessed and losing their minds staring at videos.  Even if you've already lost yours, feel free to listen to this cool podcast.  But, careful...it bites. 

Snakes...why did it have to be...snakes?  Well, because it's Lunar New Year of the Snake!  Took me half the year to get this thing wrapped and ready, but here it finally is: a festive gathering with a couple of buddies to talk about some of the most memorable (or best forgotten) snake-related movies through the years!  As we slither along, we'll cover Snakes on a Plane, Anaconda, & Sssssss!  Plus a few unexpected twists and turns.  I've got Dave Chan and Evan Lam down in the snake pit with me, and if you stick around til the end credits, maybe you'll get to hear a long-lost song I wrote in the late 2000's inspired by Sam Jackson's immortal dialogue.  Get ready to tip the SCALES!

Let's face it: even the most die-hard Star Wars fans absolutely HATED episodes I and II (and probably also hated every Die Hard after the second or third one).  But no matter what, we just HAD to see it through and get some closure, at last witnessing the origin of Darth Vader.  Hearing that iconic voice for the "first" time.  The movie turned out to be pretty satisfying, as if Vader himself threatened George Lucas with a good old "You've failed me for the last time!”   

Sadly, Vader's few lines in this film are far from menacing...and you'll get to hear them along with a whole lot of much better dialogue from me and a very special guest: my cousin and fellow Star Wars veteran since the very start, Chris Nicosia!  For once, I have a good feeling about this!

Everyone knows who Batman is (unless you happen to live in Gotham City, then it might take a while) so here's my tribute to the Dark Knight's first big cinematic adventures since the 1960s Adam West camp-fest.  Most of us were skeptical about a Michael Keaton/Tim Burton collaboration.  We were expecting something ridiculous...Beetleman?!?  Batjuice?!?   To our surprise, 1989's Batman delivered, thanks in no small part to Jack Nicholson's even battier Joker.  We then got a bonkers sequel, Batman Returns, with Christopher Walken in a supporting role that basically steals the show.  Of course, I'm a bit biased and maintain that Walken steals every show.  Even mine.  This POD.  CAST.  So put on your BatBeats or whatever sort of headphones are handy and have a listen, you'll see who the real "joker" is.

Go with a smile!