Missing Real with Mike D'Arrigo

In retrospect, it turns out that Michael Keaton might have been the coolest Batman of all time.  I mean, did anyone really go see that Flash movie because The Flash is so awesome?  Nope.  Keaton Batman.  That's why.  In the mid-1990s, after Tim Burton stepped away from the franchise, the next couple of Batman movies would have a new director, and (gasp!) a couple of new Batmen.  While we've seen some really excellent work from both Val Kilmer (RIP) and George Clooney, these were not their crowning achievements.  Or should I say masking achievements?  These movies quickly became a parody of themselves, goofy as hell, turning our Dark Knight into a Dork Knight.  Oh, yeah...and Robin.  Well, there were a few entertaining villains in the mix, and you might find some entertainment listening to me dissect these 2 oddities in the Batman cinematic timeline.  But, truthfully, I don't think even Ozzy would want a taste of these bats.  

For this episode, I've dug up a forgotten relic: one of director Michael Mann's earliest flicks, a pretty cheesy movie that will in no way remind you of his finer works like Thief, Heat, or even Miami Vice.  It's The Keep!  No, wait...don't leave, listen!  It's the first big Hollywood film appearance of Ian McKellen, before he was "Magneto", before he was "Gandalf", before he was "Sir"...and before his agent knew to steer him clear of this kind of crap.  Yet, it still shapes up to be sort of a supernatural twist on the classic Mann "heist" theme: bustin' open walls, stealing shiny objects, getting the hell out.  Moody and atmospheric, a good old early 80's lost treasure that fans of the genre should give a go.   Dust off the old VHS copy or stream it if you haven't seen it already.  Or just enjoy this podcast, it's probably better.  That ain't sayin' much, but feel free to listen! 

Adapted from one of those massive old Stephen King books that would cripple you if you dropped it on your foot, The Stand was an ambitious 1994 TV miniseries (no cussin'!  These were the "prime time network television" days!) with a big cast and a 4-night run.  Plus commercials!  That's an awful lot of time to sit watching this post-apocalyptic saga, but if you'd read the book you knew it was King's magnum opus and they weren't airing Magnum P.I. anymore, so this would have to do!  It's a really imaginative Good versus Evil kind of thing set in the wake of a plague that wipes out most of the Earth's population but still leave a huge bunch of characters alive for us to keep track of.  Some fine actors (and, er...Stephen King) do their best to bring this sprawling tale to life.  Now you can experience The Stand (or if you wanna relax, "The Sit") as an audio adventure with me performing every part and wasting slightly less of your time than the miniseries would.  

Which side will you choose...?  Good?  Evil?  Or Dumb?  

Another blockbuster action flick from Michael Bay, and probably his most excellent movie!  A disgruntled General and some Marines hold a bunch of tourists hostage on Alcatraz island (conveniently, the place is full of rusty but working jail cells!) and it's up to "chemical superfreak" Nicolas Cage and former "British Sheecret Shervish" agent Sean Connery to bust them loose and stop Ed Harris and his brigade from launching these deadly green balls of toxic chemical gas at the innocent citizens of San Francisco!  Those poor people have it bad enough having to go up and down 45-degree angle tilted streets every day, don't they?  We've got car chases, demolition, hand-to-hand combat, lots of things blowing up, and even some excellent performances (I was gonna say "acting", but you know...Cage is doing his over-the-top Cagey stuff...not sure if there's an Oscar category for Best Batshit Rant from a Lead Actor...).  Plain and simple, action and entertainment up the wazoo!  Welcome to The Rock!  You're in, mate!   

Groundbreaking, mind-blowing and Keanu whoa-ing...this was such an awesome movie on every level and it still holds up today!  Chop-socky fight scenes, bullet-time ballet, cool wardrobe, cyberpunk philosophy, we've got everything but the kitchen sink.  Oh, and possibly a spoon.  Still can't get my head around that one.  Actually, this is a movie you can love without understanding a thing that's happening.  However, just in case you're seeking actual "knowledge" from my geeky little podcast, we are lucky to have my Neo-like friend David Franklin with us this time to delve deeply into the fascinating science and technology that permeates the Matrix, and our present/future reality.  Or just to counterbalance my inane babble.  So, plug in, free yourself, and enjoy the ride.  Have a cookie.  Or a fake steak...ignorance is bliss! 

This is my shortest episode ever, specially recorded for my ADD fan base.  In just 7 minutes and change, I'll take a mad run through all the major movies and projects of M. Night Shyamalan.  If you have the patience/interest/undying admiration for every word I utter, please feel free to listen to my official full-length Shyamalan episode, too!  Different jokes, and a possible TWIST ENDING!  OOOOOH!  

Everyone loves a good plot twist.  Or a twist ending, if you stick around long enough.  One particular movie I'm surprised didn't have more twists: Twister.  After the huge success of The Sixth Sense in 1999, writer/director/somewhat actor M. Night Shyamalan rolled out a succession of films which made less and less sense, but still showed signs of greatness, if you could follow what was happening.  Some audiences would rather split and find the nearest glass of booze at the village tavern.  Before this clever gimmick of mine starts getting old, let me trap you into listening to my fun rundown of some of the most memorable and/or baffling movies by this creative and shameless artist.  This is gonna be a hell of a Night...

   Nobody remembers Krull.  Nobody's seen Krull, most likely.  What the hell IS Krull, anyway??  Well, it's an extremely underrated 1983 fantasy film that I've always loved to watch again and again, I suppose to make up for all the people who didn't bother to.  But you should!  It's got a telepathy-controlled throwing star!  How many ninjas can say that?  It's got Liam Neeson in a role he probably wishes he hadn't...taken.  It's got Slayers!!  No, not the band Slayer, but there's a cyclops here who's played by an actor who was in Hawk the Slayer...oh, that's another movie you didn't see.  Never mind, let's focus on this movie: Krull!  I bet you forgot already.  Give this movie a chance, I mean it.  It's pretty cheesy, but then so are most pizzas and who doesn't like pizza, y'know?  I managed to persuade my buddy Dave Chan to watch the DVD after 6 months of pleading and death threats.  I think he actually enjoyed it, and you'll hear all about it on this adventurous episode of Missing Real!       

Vampires have been around for a long time, kinda like this old TV miniseries/movie based on one of Stephen King's earliest novels.  In 1979, it was one of the scariest things you could see on your television other than that white noise "snow" on the screen where you'd have to get up out of your comfy chair and grab those "rabbit ears" antennas and move 'em around in dozens of configurations and angles until you could see a clear picture again.  Ahh, memories...and if you understood any of that you are quite old yourself, but not as old as a vampire so please don't get offended!  Now... as for this podcast, it covers not only Tobe Hooper's eerie original film, but also the 2004 remake which really wasn't very scary at all.  I was just scared it was gonna suck.  Now hurry up and listen to this chilling and funny episode, 'cause daylight's wastin'!  Face the master!  Is your faith...enough?

While many moviegoers stopped caring about Aliens after the second Alien movie (Aliens! Duh!), this franchise has survived for over 4 decades with an impressive array of directors trying to terrify, thrill, and gross us out.  Seems there's more than one way to open an egg.  When the master himself, Sir Ridley Scott, returned to the Alien universe with 2 movies intended as a trilogy prequel to the original Alien, the fans spewed acid all over them and probably scared Ridley back to making another Gladiator and overblown historical epics like Napoleon.  There, happy???  I learned all I needed to about Napoleon from Bill & Ted, thank you very much.  I wanna know more about xenomorphs, synthetic people and sci-fi stuff!  So now we have a cool throwback story set safely between the first two Alien films (in a space no one can hear you complain?) and people mostly seem to like it.  Mostly.  
I like to think the same holds true for my little podcast, so won't you have a listen?  Put on your earhuggers and enjoy!