It's a mini offseason for Major League Baseball, so Dan and Bryan dream up headlines they want to see in the second half of the year, but with way more tangents than usual. Feminist literary criticism? Check. UAE currency? Check. Questionable wardrobe choices? Check, mates. Also: Should Bobby Dalbec pitch? Will Jarren Duran set a Major League record before the end of the month? And how is Bryan doing on 1000 Laps of Summer? All that and more. Pinky swear.

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