Strap in, folks—this episode of Morning Crankers is a wild one! We kick things off with the National Days of April 18th (because apparently, every day needs a holiday). Then it gets real strange, real fast: a 3-year-old claims he's been reincarnated, correctly identifies a village, his past home, his killer, the body location, AND the murder weapon. Someone get this kid a Netflix deal. We dive into the grossest beach cleanup story from New Jersey—spoiler alert: you’ll never look at the ocean the same way again. Then we explore the age-old mystery: Why do old people smell? Is it science? Is it mothballs? You’ll find out. Also on the slab: Tom Brady possibly joining WWE, a sperm race in Los Angeles that’s not what you think (or maybe it is), and a restaurant giving skinny people a discount—cue the body image debates and food fights. It’s bold, bizarre, and belly-laugh-inducing. The only morning show where reincarnation, pro wrestling, and sperm races somehow make sense together. Welcome to Morning Crankers.

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In this nostalgic and nutty episode of Morning Crankers, we crank it back to the golden days with our hilarious new segment “80s/90s Who Said That?” — can you guess which icon dropped the quote? From sitcoms to action flicks, it’s a blast from the past with a Cranker twist! Then we hit another level of stupid with some jaw-dropping headlines, including a Kentucky restaurant doing something so bizarre it might actually be genius. 💡🍽️ We also take a spin through politics as Kamala Harris announces plans to open her own policy institute. What could possibly go wrong? And in the world of sports, the UFC dishes out wild matchups and unexpected drama that only Dana White could dream up. 👊💥 You get retro trivia, wild stories, sharp laughs, and absolutely no filter—just how Crankers like it!

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On the April 16, 2025 episode of Morning Crankers, we’re back with another wild Hump Day Harmonies banger—this time it’s our brand new comedy song “Sent to China” roasting taxes, bureaucracy, and everything that mysteriously vanishes after we pay Uncle Sam. 💸🇨🇳 We also dig into today's National Days (spoiler: there's some weird ones), and we go full Cranker-mode on Tax Day frustrations that have the average American fuming. You’re not alone—anger is in the air and wallets are empty! 😡💵 Then we head to Mountain Grove, Missouri, where in a bold move, the ENTIRE city government resigned… except for one bold soul. A new mayor stepped in and may just turn the whole place around. It's small-town chaos with a twist of hope! This episode is loaded with laughs, rants, and real talk. Don’t miss it!

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Buckle up for another chaotic ride through comedy and curiosity with Morning Crankers! On this April 15th edition, we celebrate some of the weirdest National Days you’ve never heard of—because who doesn't want an excuse to eat weird snacks and blame it on the calendar? 😎📆 We’re talking about KFC-flavored toothpaste (yup, you read that right), a woman who proudly dyes her Easter eggs in the toilet, and a nasty new outbreak: ringworm from trying on clothes. We also dig into the surprising success of the Minecraft movie 🎬🧱, and we list the strangest unclaimed luggage items ever found—including the stuff that’ll make you question humanity. 🧳😳 Crank up your morning with laughs, WTF moments, and a side of finger-lickin' absurdity!

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It’s a cosmic comedy collision on this episode of Morning Crankers! 💥 We’re launching headfirst into absurdity—starting with NASA’s $3 million quest for a better way to squish space poop 🚀💩. Then we flip into Conspiracy Crackdown where we ask the BIG question: Is there life after death... or just overdue taxes? We talk about the tragic story of a former LSU wide receiver, the Menendez brothers’ courtroom twist, and a bizarre tale involving a Bulgarian football team that feels like it was written by a sleep-deprived AI. 😵‍💫⚽ And don’t miss our “Freedom Fitness” segment: a female jogger goes viral recommending open carry for safety on the trails—because cardio and caliber now go hand in hand. 💪🔫 Plus, we announce the new MorningCrankers.com—your one-stop shop for Crankers chaos, comedy, and merch! Strap in, laugh hard, and question everything!

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Hold onto your coffee, folks—this episode of Morning Crankers is an all-you-can-eat buffet of bizarre headlines, hot grill recipes, and hilarious history! We kick things off with a mouthwatering spin on potato skins—Spinach Artichoke Potato Skins—perfect for your Weber grill cookout. Then we spiral into the strange as we uncover the story of a woman who tried to trade her foster child for a monkey (no, really). In our fan-favorite Crankers Drunk History segment, we uncork the French-Mexican Pastry War—where flaky croissants sparked cannon fire! Meanwhile, a helicopter crash in the Hudson, a 74-year-old declared dead wakes up at her own funeral, and a California woman is rescued from a sewer (again—no joke). Plus:

• Ken Griffey Jr. trades the bat for a camera 📸
• Wisconsin man fakes his own death
• Torpedo bats!? Yup, that’s a thing.

It's weird, it's wild, and it’s Crankers-certified comedy chaos. Don't miss out on the madness!

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It’s Thursday, and Morning Crankers is serving up another hot pot of comedy, chaos, and questionable wisdom! On the 4/10/25 episode, we launched a brand-new segment: Crankers Bad Bosses—where we exposed the worst of the worst in workplace leadership. From micromanaging maniacs to passive-aggressive post-it leavers, we told the stories, cracked the jokes, and gave you the therapy you didn’t know you needed. 💼 Ever worked for a boss who scheduled meetings just to feel powerful? We got you.
🤣 Unfiltered rants, listener shoutouts, and ridiculous real-life examples that'll make you say, “Yep, been there.”
☕ Plus: our usual dose of news bits, sports jabs, and caffeine-fueled nonsense to keep your morning moving. Crank up the volume, pour the coffee, and let’s roast some bad bosses together!

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Get ready for a wild ride on this week’s Morning Crankers Hump Day Show (4/9/25)! We kicked things off with our fan-favorite segment Hump Day Harmonies, featuring the ridiculously relatable original hit “Love is a Dumpster Fire”—because nothing says midweek like emotional chaos with a beat! But that’s just the start...
🐺 Scientists are actually cloning dire wolves now—yes, the Game of Thrones kind (minus the CGI)!
🎬 Left-wing film legend Oliver Stone surprises everyone by agreeing with Trump on a major issue. What timeline are we in again?!
🏈⚾ From gridiron gossip to baseball brawls, we hit the hottest stories in sports this week.
🔥 Plus: sarcasm, rants, and your weekly dose of unfiltered Cranker chaos. Whether you're sipping coffee or dodging coworkers, we’ve got your midweek madness covered.

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Brace yourself for the most romantically tragic anthem of the year! Morning Crankers presents “Love is a Dumpster Fire”—the song that perfectly captures the chaotic beauty of modern relationships. With lyrics hotter than your ex’s rebound and melodies messier than a shared Netflix account post-breakup, this tune turns emotional disasters into comedic gold. Whether you’re happily single, regrettably committed, or texting your ex again, this original banger will have you laughing, crying, and possibly re-evaluating your life choices—all in under three minutes. Warning: May cause uncontrollable snorting, bitter laughter, and spontaneous karaoke in traffic.

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Buckle up for the strangest ride of your morning! The Morning Crankers are diving headfirst into April 8th's national days and quickly veer off into the land of the bizarre with a wild collection of strange but true stories that'll leave you laughing, cringing, and questioning humanity. 👨‍🦱 Meet the former model who proudly chugs his own pee and does pee enemas—because apparently, that’s a thing.
💨 Discover the woman who’s developed a new wellness method called the orgasmic breath (yes, you read that right).
🍦 We break down the buzz about a company now selling breast milk-flavored ice cream (seriously, who asked for this?). It doesn’t stop there! We go from weird wellness to workplace woes as new facts emerge about companies steering clear of hiring college grads. Why? Think entitlement, zero teamwork, fragile egos, and broken communication. It’s a hot mess—and we’re here for all of it. With our signature cranky comedy and zero-filter commentary, this episode hits hard and hilariously weird. Perfect for fans of offbeat news, twisted truths, and reality that’s too strange for fiction.

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