Hold onto your coffee, folks—this episode of Morning Crankers is an all-you-can-eat buffet of bizarre headlines, hot grill recipes, and hilarious history! We kick things off with a mouthwatering spin on potato skins—Spinach Artichoke Potato Skins—perfect for your Weber grill cookout. Then we spiral into the strange as we uncover the story of a woman who tried to trade her foster child for a monkey (no, really). In our fan-favorite Crankers Drunk History segment, we uncork the French-Mexican Pastry War—where flaky croissants sparked cannon fire! Meanwhile, a helicopter crash in the Hudson, a 74-year-old declared dead wakes up at her own funeral, and a California woman is rescued from a sewer (again—no joke). Plus:

It's weird, it's wild, and it’s Crankers-certified comedy chaos. Don't miss out on the madness!

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It’s Thursday, and Morning Crankers is serving up another hot pot of comedy, chaos, and questionable wisdom! On the 4/10/25 episode, we launched a brand-new segment: Crankers Bad Bosses—where we exposed the worst of the worst in workplace leadership. From micromanaging maniacs to passive-aggressive post-it leavers, we told the stories, cracked the jokes, and gave you the therapy you didn’t know you needed. 💼 Ever worked for a boss who scheduled meetings just to feel powerful? We got you.
🤣 Unfiltered rants, listener shoutouts, and ridiculous real-life examples that'll make you say, “Yep, been there.”
☕ Plus: our usual dose of news bits, sports jabs, and caffeine-fueled nonsense to keep your morning moving. Crank up the volume, pour the coffee, and let’s roast some bad bosses together!

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Get ready for a wild ride on this week’s Morning Crankers Hump Day Show (4/9/25)! We kicked things off with our fan-favorite segment Hump Day Harmonies, featuring the ridiculously relatable original hit “Love is a Dumpster Fire”—because nothing says midweek like emotional chaos with a beat! But that’s just the start...
🐺 Scientists are actually cloning dire wolves now—yes, the Game of Thrones kind (minus the CGI)!
🎬 Left-wing film legend Oliver Stone surprises everyone by agreeing with Trump on a major issue. What timeline are we in again?!
🏈⚾ From gridiron gossip to baseball brawls, we hit the hottest stories in sports this week.
🔥 Plus: sarcasm, rants, and your weekly dose of unfiltered Cranker chaos. Whether you're sipping coffee or dodging coworkers, we’ve got your midweek madness covered.

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Brace yourself for the most romantically tragic anthem of the year! Morning Crankers presents “Love is a Dumpster Fire”—the song that perfectly captures the chaotic beauty of modern relationships. With lyrics hotter than your ex’s rebound and melodies messier than a shared Netflix account post-breakup, this tune turns emotional disasters into comedic gold. Whether you’re happily single, regrettably committed, or texting your ex again, this original banger will have you laughing, crying, and possibly re-evaluating your life choices—all in under three minutes. Warning: May cause uncontrollable snorting, bitter laughter, and spontaneous karaoke in traffic.

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Buckle up for the strangest ride of your morning! The Morning Crankers are diving headfirst into April 8th's national days and quickly veer off into the land of the bizarre with a wild collection of strange but true stories that'll leave you laughing, cringing, and questioning humanity. 👨‍🦱 Meet the former model who proudly chugs his own pee and does pee enemas—because apparently, that’s a thing.
💨 Discover the woman who’s developed a new wellness method called the orgasmic breath (yes, you read that right).
🍦 We break down the buzz about a company now selling breast milk-flavored ice cream (seriously, who asked for this?). It doesn’t stop there! We go from weird wellness to workplace woes as new facts emerge about companies steering clear of hiring college grads. Why? Think entitlement, zero teamwork, fragile egos, and broken communication. It’s a hot mess—and we’re here for all of it. With our signature cranky comedy and zero-filter commentary, this episode hits hard and hilariously weird. Perfect for fans of offbeat news, twisted truths, and reality that’s too strange for fiction.

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It’s National Beer Day and the Crankers are crackin’ cold ones while diving headfirst into the chaos of April 7th! 🍺 From budget brews that won't break the bank to naming the best cheap beers that fuel tailgates and bad decisions, this episode is both hilarious and refreshingly honest. We also get into the madness beyond the March Madness courts—like protestors who seem to have lost the memo on why they’re protesting 🤷‍♂️. Plus, we discuss a troubling rise in missing children cases in Illinois and Missouri—because not every topic can be all fun and foam. Of course, we had to recap the NCAA tournaments: The men’s madness delivers once again, and the UConn women’s team proves why they’re absolute beasts on the court. 🏀🔥 If you're into comedy with a side of truth bombs, this one's for you.

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On today’s wild ride of Morning Crankers, we’re serving up a buffet of bizarre, hilarious, and straight-up head-scratching stories! We kick things off with this week's Crankers Dumbest Criminal – and trust us, this one takes the cake 🍰 (and maybe tried to steal it too). Then we dive into a round of Would You Rather that gets more unhinged by the minute. From there, we get real about the billions of taxpayer dollars being poured into higher education – where’s it going and who’s benefiting? Next up, we break down the 9 restaurant chains on the brink – if your favorite’s on the list, brace yourself. In sports, the NBA drops the hammer, suspending 5 players, and we discuss what this means moving forward. We also take a minute to honor Val Kilmer – a true Hollywood legend – and wrap things up with a fun look at the National Days of April 4th. It’s bold, it’s hilarious, it’s unapologetically Morning Crankers.

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Welcome to the April 3rd episode of Morning Crankers, where logic goes to die and laughs are born! Today’s wild ride kicks off with a brand-new segment: Crankers Court—the only courtroom where common sense is outlawed. We take on the BIG debates:

Then we get inspirational with Daniel Kish, the real-life Daredevil, who has taught over 500 blind children to “see” using echolocation. This man is part superhero, part bat, and 100% badass. We also go full absurd with the return of the Chuck Norris joke era (yes, he can divide by zero), and we ask the timeless question no Renaissance sculptor ever answered:
Why are the dudes in famous artwork so… uh… under-equipped? 🎨🥜 Plus:
🏈 The NFL is saying goodbye to the chain gang and hello to the Hawk-Eye system—but will robots ruin 4th & Inches forever? Crank up the laughs, get weird with your coffee, and start your day with unapologetic chao

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Happy Hump Day, Crankers! The April 2nd episode is packed tighter than Keanu’s gun belt! We kick things off with the wildest National Days you’ve never heard of—and a few you might be celebrating wrong. Then it’s time for our signature segment, Hump Day Harmonies, where we go live with our brand new original song, “Doge Is a Finishin’”—a politically incorrect, full-throttle spoken-word country banger that pulls no punches! We also dive deep into Keanu Reeves’ possible return in John Wick 5, plus the news of a Caine comic book spin-off that’s about to get its own revenge story. Could the Baba Yaga be back? But hold onto your tinfoil hats—because Elon Musk just found OVER A TERABYTE of hidden data buried inside the U.S. Institute of Peace… and it might not be so peaceful after all. Plus:
🏈 The NFL says “not yet” to banning the Tush Push—will the brotherly shove live to fight another day?
🦇 Torpedo bats are exploding in popularity—are they revolutionizing baseball or just another gimmick? It’s truth, comedy, chaos, and Crankers-level crazy—all in one episode.

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Dive into the latest uproarious creation from the Morning Crankers podcast with their new comedy song, "Doge Is Finishin'." This satirical track takes a humorous jab at leftist progressives, Democrats, Communists, and LGBTQ communities, highlighting the things they'll miss when DOGE, Trump, and Musk are done. From transgender monkey studies to the gay Sesame Street in Iraq, and the corruption, fraud, and money-making schemes that have dashed globalist control, no topic is off-limits. The song also touches on climate credits for farts and the exclusion of men from women's sports, ensuring a hearty laugh for listeners who enjoy edgy, politically incorrect humor.

Note: The song "Doge Is Finishin'" is a work of satire and is intended for comedic purposes only. Listener discretion is advised.

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