It’s National Beer Day and the Crankers are crackin’ cold ones while diving headfirst into the chaos of April 7th! 🍺 From budget brews that won't break the bank to naming the best cheap beers that fuel tailgates and bad decisions, this episode is both hilarious and refreshingly honest. We also get into the madness beyond the March Madness courts—like protestors who seem to have lost the memo on why they’re protesting 🤷‍♂️. Plus, we discuss a troubling rise in missing children cases in Illinois and Missouri—because not every topic can be all fun and foam. Of course, we had to recap the NCAA tournaments: The men’s madness delivers once again, and the UConn women’s team proves why they’re absolute beasts on the court. 🏀🔥 If you're into comedy with a side of truth bombs, this one's for you.

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On today’s wild ride of Morning Crankers, we’re serving up a buffet of bizarre, hilarious, and straight-up head-scratching stories! We kick things off with this week's Crankers Dumbest Criminal – and trust us, this one takes the cake 🍰 (and maybe tried to steal it too). Then we dive into a round of Would You Rather that gets more unhinged by the minute. From there, we get real about the billions of taxpayer dollars being poured into higher education – where’s it going and who’s benefiting? Next up, we break down the 9 restaurant chains on the brink – if your favorite’s on the list, brace yourself. In sports, the NBA drops the hammer, suspending 5 players, and we discuss what this means moving forward. We also take a minute to honor Val Kilmer – a true Hollywood legend – and wrap things up with a fun look at the National Days of April 4th. It’s bold, it’s hilarious, it’s unapologetically Morning Crankers.

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Welcome to the April 3rd episode of Morning Crankers, where logic goes to die and laughs are born! Today’s wild ride kicks off with a brand-new segment: Crankers Court—the only courtroom where common sense is outlawed. We take on the BIG debates:

• How many holes does a straw really have?
• Is cereal a soup or just a soggy mistake?
• If you drop the soap… is the floor clean or is the soap dirty? 👀

Then we get inspirational with Daniel Kish, the real-life Daredevil, who has taught over 500 blind children to “see” using echolocation. This man is part superhero, part bat, and 100% badass. We also go full absurd with the return of the Chuck Norris joke era (yes, he can divide by zero), and we ask the timeless question no Renaissance sculptor ever answered:
Why are the dudes in famous artwork so… uh… under-equipped? 🎨🥜 Plus:
🏈 The NFL is saying goodbye to the chain gang and hello to the Hawk-Eye system—but will robots ruin 4th & Inches forever? Crank up the laughs, get weird with your coffee, and start your day with unapologetic chao

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Happy Hump Day, Crankers! The April 2nd episode is packed tighter than Keanu’s gun belt! We kick things off with the wildest National Days you’ve never heard of—and a few you might be celebrating wrong. Then it’s time for our signature segment, Hump Day Harmonies, where we go live with our brand new original song, “Doge Is a Finishin’”—a politically incorrect, full-throttle spoken-word country banger that pulls no punches! We also dive deep into Keanu Reeves’ possible return in John Wick 5, plus the news of a Caine comic book spin-off that’s about to get its own revenge story. Could the Baba Yaga be back? But hold onto your tinfoil hats—because Elon Musk just found OVER A TERABYTE of hidden data buried inside the U.S. Institute of Peace… and it might not be so peaceful after all. Plus:
🏈 The NFL says “not yet” to banning the Tush Push—will the brotherly shove live to fight another day?
🦇 Torpedo bats are exploding in popularity—are they revolutionizing baseball or just another gimmick? It’s truth, comedy, chaos, and Crankers-level crazy—all in one episode.

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Dive into the latest uproarious creation from the Morning Crankers podcast with their new comedy song, "Doge Is Finishin'." This satirical track takes a humorous jab at leftist progressives, Democrats, Communists, and LGBTQ communities, highlighting the things they'll miss when DOGE, Trump, and Musk are done. From transgender monkey studies to the gay Sesame Street in Iraq, and the corruption, fraud, and money-making schemes that have dashed globalist control, no topic is off-limits. The song also touches on climate credits for farts and the exclusion of men from women's sports, ensuring a hearty laugh for listeners who enjoy edgy, politically incorrect humor.

Note: The song "Doge Is Finishin'" is a work of satire and is intended for comedic purposes only. Listener discretion is advised.

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Get ready for a wild ride on Morning Crankers! Today, we’re diving into the latest buzz, from Luke Grimes’ rumored Yellowstone spin-off to Avengers: Doom Days speculation—is the MCU about to shake things up again? Plus, it's April 1st, so we’re breaking down the quirkiest national holidays you didn’t know existed! And of course, we’re playing Crank It or Yank It, where we rate the hottest (and not-so-hot) trends of the week. Don’t miss out on the laughs, chaos, and unfiltered Crankers fun! 🎙️🔥

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Get ready for a wild ride on this episode of Morning Crankers! We’re covering everything from quirky national holidays to breaking news and sports madness. ☕ What’s on the menu today?
🥔 Happy National Tater Day! We’re diving into the history of this spud-tastic celebration.
🚔 Senior Assassin Game Sparks Police Warning – Harmless fun or potential danger?
🍽️ Applebee’s & IHOP Join Forces – What this major restaurant merger means for your next meal.
⚾ Yankees’ Torpedo Bats Smash Records! – How a new bat shape helped take down the Brewers.
🇫🇷 France Calls Out America’s “DIKTAT” on DEI – A global controversy erupts over diversity policies. It’s the perfect mix of laughs, news, and straight-up Crankers chaos. Don’t miss it! 🎙️🔥

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Rise and shine with Morning Crankers, where we serve up your daily dose of laughs, hot takes, and pure mayhem! Today, we break down 5 classic boomer behaviors that send the younger crowd into a rage—because nothing says "timeless wisdom" like refusing to text back in under three days. 🤣 Meanwhile, the FBI launches a task force to tackle anti-Tesla domestic terrorists, because apparently, keying a Cybertruck is now a federal offense. ⚠️🚔 Then, we dive into National Day celebrations (as if we needed an excuse to party 🍻), and in the Morning Crankers VS Series, it's the ultimate music battle:
🎸 Pink Floyd vs. Johnny Cash—psychedelic rock meets outlaw country. Who takes the crown? 🎶🏆 All this and more on today’s chaotic, caffeine-fueled episode—grab your coffee and buckle up! 🚀☕ 📢 Drop your comments! What’s a boomer behavior that drives YOU nuts?

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Get your morning dose of Morning Crankers as we break down the biggest stories of March 27, 2025! We kick things off with March 27 National Days, then dive into trillion-dollar investments flowing into America—creating huge job opportunities for American workers! Next, we discuss the jaw-dropping case of Japan’s longest-serving death row inmate, who was exonerated after 40 years and offered a mere $1.4 million for his wrongful conviction. Is justice ever enough? We also explore DoorDash’s latest offering and how it’s changing the game for convenience lovers. Plus, Cummins ditches diesel in favor of a new, powerful, fuel-efficient gas motor—is this the future of trucking? Buckle up for another wild and unfiltered episode of Morning Crankers! 🎙️🔥

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Get ready for another wild ride with Morning Crankers! Today, we dive into the National Days of March 26, belting out our brand-new hit Ozark Fellas! We also break down some of the most ridiculous news stories, including a criminal who broke into their own parole officer’s home (talk about bad decisions) and a DUI driver who plowed through a barbershop like a wrecking ball. Greg even pitches the genius idea of drive-thru haircuts—because who has time to stop? Plus, we analyze the Sweet 16 madness and more. Buckle up, grab your coffee, and let’s crank it up! 🎙️🔥 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

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