Mornings with Morty

Mornings with Morty

By Matthew WeismanComedy
Download on the App Store

Mornings with Morty episodes

  • Catholics v. MILF
    Carl's dad has a birthday coming up and he's raising money to help out in Texas, check out feedingtexas.org if you want to make a donation to help those affected by the storms and struggling with hunger. And now on to the episode! Super fun one, a little longer--much to discuss. Pakistani rollerblade police: Better or worse than a bike cop? Marjorie Taylor Greene: Only trusts science when it supports her bigotry. A mother's on OnlyFans and her kids are expelled from Catholic school--because in Catholicism, you can touch little boys, but you can't pose in lingerie! The New York Times' reporting is bupkis and Purim just might be the most lit Jewish holiday. It also involves the ORIGINAL running of The Bachelor, which is WAY better than the show. Check it out, follow us @TheDailyMort on IG, and send those emails to [email protected]!
    1 hr 17 min
  • Don't Mess with Mama Bear!
    Episode 7! It was Carl's birthday! Some mother in Texas executed a perfect form tackle to take down a perv spying on her 15-year-old daughter! Mama bears will protect their kids at all costs! They'll also roast them endlessly. Jewish mothers are masters of microaggression--inspired by Judy Gold (@jewdygold) and her book Yes, I Can Say That. Shout out to Judy! We'd love to have you on the podcast if you ever see this! Matt's grandma doesn't think his stand-up is funny, but she loves MwM. You get a 2-for-1 special with the parshas this week. Matt didn't really understand either of them and Carl has some weird love for TGI Friday's. As always, follow us on IG @TheDailyMort, SEND YOUR SUBMISSIONS TO [email protected], and please be sure to share with a friend and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts!
    1 hr 6 min
  • Starring: Indigo - The Sequel

    Part two of our episode with Indigo Ross (@starring_indigo on social)! We pick up where we left off with some conversations about Black-Jewish relations (DeSean Jackson, Nick Cannon, and Zach Banner). Huge shout out to Zach Banner, please consider the B3 Foundation for any future donations that you're making! Along the way, we learn about Indigo's Buddhist practice and finish up with our parsha, getting some Buddhist insight on what lessons we can take away from it. As always, be sure to follow us on Instagram @TheDailyMort and send your emails to [email protected]!

    45 min
  • Starring: Indigo - The First
    Our first guest! Indigo Ross (comedienne & voice actress; @starring_indigo on IG & Twitter) joins Matt & Carl to discuss vaccine elitists, the Gorilla Glue Girl from Twitter/IG, natural hair in the Black community, and briefly discuss the Black-Jewish Entertainment Alliance. Part two coming next week! As always, please be sure to give us a follow on Instagram @TheDailyMort, send your emails to [email protected], and please leave us a review on Apple podcasts!
    49 min
  • COVID is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book

    In this episode, brought to you by Levine's Kosher Lasers, Matt & Carl discuss a COVID scare for Matt (does he have it? Does he not? The doctors basically said "You decide!"), Marjorie Taylor Greene's theory that Jews have lasers in space, the Super Bowl (which I don't think I officially have the rights to say here, but I pray for the day this podcast gets big enough that it actually matters), and Moses receives the Ten Commandments while attending a Jethro Tull concert in the desert. As always, please share with a friend, follow us on Instagram @TheDailyMort, and email us at [email protected]

    58 min
  • Fauci Strikes Back
    THIS MAY BE ONE FOR THE PARENTS TO SKIP! <-- A surefire way to make sure they *won't* skip it.
    In this episode, brought to you by NPR Pop Culture, Dr. Fauci: Born Again Edition, and ThirstWater™️, Matt and Carl discuss the Mets' GM sending d*ck pics, how people sent nudes before smartphones, what's in a name, and Moses continuing to herd the Jewish sheeple through the desert. We learn a little about anger management, which neither of our hosts is very good at, and Carl loses it while discussing Chuck Schumer's hilarious gaffe on the Senate floor about an..."uprising" of a different sort. It's a very fun one, so be sure to give it a listen, follow @TheDailyMort on Instagram, and shoot us an email at [email protected]!
    55 min
  • Moses Continues: Revenge of the Moses
    In this episode, brought to you by MyPillow, Matt & Carl discuss a listener submission about Ashkenazi Jewish foods, talk about Jews from the Old Country, break down the Armie Hammer cannibal kink drama, and continue with Moses' wild ride in the pyramid scheme of Egypt. Buckle up, share with a friend or a cousin, and be sure to send your submissions to [email protected]!
    1 hr 4 min
  • Moses' Origin Story
    Brought to you by QAnon Wine Subscription, in this episode Matt and Carl discuss the Cleveland Browns' first playoff appearance in 18 years, the significance of the number 18 in Judaism, a story submission of a non-kosher brunch date between a Heeb and a goy, God being an accountant, and Moses' origin story as Batman. It's a really fun one so check it out, share it around, and don't forget to submit your stories to be featured for advice in an episode!
    54 min
  • Meet Morty
    Matt and Carl introduce you to Morty, share their Jewish motherly advice on how they'd handle a mask conflict, and discuss what we can learn from this week's parsha, which Matt really only understands as a rough outline of Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.
    59 min
  • What is Mornings with Morty?
    A brief introduction to your hosts and what to expect in each episode! Be sure to follow on IG @TheDailyMort, Twitter @DailyMort, and email submissions to [email protected] We hope you enjoy!
    ---
    Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/mornings-with-morty/message
    1 min

About Mornings with Morty

From the publisher's feed

Hello my little bubelehs! Grab a bagel & schmear, a cup of coffee, and come on an auditory adventure with your favorite schlemiel & schlimazel duo, Matt and Carl. You’ll hear embarrassing…