Do you believe the moon landing really happened? I'll tell you what I think about that, and why long COVID is to blame for pretty much everything, as well as deliver a long jeremiad about vanilla flavor in assorted yogurt boxes. See beyond.

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Riding a crowded train in Seattle was quite the experience, but not in the way I wanted. And the things you've heard about what soy does to men is not quite the truth, but what you've heard about gravity's effects on our bodies is. Accept it.

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Let me tell you the truth about cameras, calling your S.O. "baby," and Western propaganda about other countries. Be truthful.

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Some innovative ideas in this one, including swimsuits that don't wedgie, the continued eating of dairy regardless of what it does to your digestive system, and a new type of tooth cleaning machine. Be gaseous.

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How to walk. How we are all cannibals. And how we can censor the English language to make the world a better place. Accept it.

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Superfluous names for weapons. The lack of respect for fire. And whether smoking looks cool. Be ignited.

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This is the shortest episode yet, so you definitely have time to listen to it. If you're too busy to listen to a nine-minute podcast episode, there's something EXTREMELY wrong with your life, and you need to reassess your priorities and stop being a slave to your job and other people and whatever vices you have. But, if worse comes to worst, just listen to it while doing something else, and you'll hear me discuss mullets vs. skullets, furries vs. baldies, and the leaning tower of Pisa. Sounds interesting, right? Listen up.

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First a tirade about people's condiment tirades. Then a little look into 80s society, such as the scares and panics of the time and the candy they sold. To close it out, a side-eyed look at weebs. Be saucy.

Note: I meant to say the USSR not Russia. Also, the title is a joke not to be taken literally.

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Are there two kinds of cafes? That is explored here, as well as a new weapon I think I invented, and inflation (the economic kind). Rock hard.

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One thing you should definitely stop doing to animals. And another thing about what people said about owls in the 90s. Finally, a thing about the real reason hikers disappear. Invigorate yourself.

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