Mouth Dancing

Cannibalism, oven mitts, and surveys: A hard-hitting investigation into these three fascinating subjects. Be delicious.

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What do the following have in common? Charcuterie boards, crackers, cheeses, alcohol, parties, and tattoos on old people. Nothing. Make yourself available to everyone.

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What have we here? Podcasting, organic carrots, skateboarding and surfing dogs, prison life, jenkem, the worst drugs to be addicted to, and the best things to be addicted to. Ravish yourself.

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I eat and review cake. Then I think about government surveillance and privacy, the difference between humans and animals, what to do in case of a bear encounter, and how easily an animal could kick a human's ass.

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Dudes. End of Humanity. American ego. Biceps. Junk proportions. Tightness. Cutting things. Snow. Hawaii. Aloha.

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Why doesn't it matter if a baby is cute or ugly? Why do Karens and Gregs exist? Why do you need to scrub your entire body? Why did Madonna disappear? Why can't you bring Chee-Tos into the Love Land? Why is chocolate sexual? Why aren't sports nerds considered nerds? Why was the tone of this episode weird? Why are your nipples hard? Make love to yourself.

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Summer's nice but gloomy winter weather can do a number on your mood, possibly even making you feel suicidal, but you can mix that up with a little eroticism, and deal with it by nourishing your spirit, possibly using psychedelics, such as mushrooms, or reminiscing about your favorite childhood snack, and wondering why as you get older you need more to feel stimulated or excited and about the dynamics of attractive people who resemble their opposite sex parent. Treat your spirit kindly.

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This is the something slash episode, featuring puppies/podcasting, Jeff Bezos/Amazon, wrestling/football, marriage/knowing what your spouse is thinking, and the psychics/ESP hoax/conspiracy. Talk about efficiency of topics! Make love to yourself.

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Why do we have to greet each other? I'm not a professional so I don't know. I'm also unsure about multivitamins, Joe Blow off the street, gender neutral names, not assuming things about people based on their appearance, and my wisdom. Go enjoy yourself.

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If you're tired of passive aggressive people, try turning their tactic on its head. And give a listen to some stuff about Catholicism, shock jocks, a lost tribe, and bicycling gear. Love yourself.

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