https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/movie-mastery-star-wars-holiday-special.mp3

So this thing is internet famous as a bizarre travesty against Star Wars right?  Kind of like a Jar-Jar 1978.  What the internet won’t normally tell you about the holiday special is that it is crushingly, painfully boring.  Dicking around a cellphone isn’t enough to survive this thing in one viewing, you’re going to need a tablet, a second TV playing something better, carolers outside your window and every caroler is Gilbert Gottfried… something along those lines.  Anyway, we watched it!  FOR YOU!  Now you don’t have to!  Special thanks to horrible friend of the show Double Vekh for this idea.

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https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/movie-mastery-christmas-with-the-kranks.mp3

There are three Movie Mastery episodes this December, and you can be sure that every single one of them will be a holiday themed film.  There’s no genre of film that Jef hates more, so these should be great.  Kicking it off, here’s Christmas with the Kranks, the movie guaranteed to make you hate white people, rich people, people in general, things, the concept of Christmas, and existence itself.

Got an idea for a horrible holiday movie?  The bar may be set pretty high, but don’t let that stop you from sending in your recommendations!  There’s still two movies to go this December, you can beat those odds!

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https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/movie-mastery-sinbad-of-the-seven-seas.mp3

Hot off his recent triumphant return to the role of the Incredible Hulk (in a movie where he fights Thor, you should go check it out), Lou Ferrigno hits the silver screen with his starring role in what is DEFINITELY a Cannon Films production, Sinbad of the Seven Seas.  Thrill as he flexes his way out of all sorts of stupid shenanigans!  Marvel at the neverending narration!

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https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/movie-mastery-mechanical-violator-hakaider.mp3

Never let it be said we won’t watch some insane random thing out of some vestigial sense of self preservation.  Here, we sit down together to watch a tokusatsu film, which probably doesn’t directly translate to “All Power Rangers-y” but might as well.  Mechanical Violator Hakaider is a stoic, boring Judge Robocopinator of a weird future, and boy oh boy, is he ever bulletproof.

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