If you’ve ever watched Dario Argento’s 1977 horror film Suspiria and thought to yourself, “what this needs is to be an hour longer, stripped entirely of its gorgeous color palette, and to be dreadfully serious,” well, then, have I got a movie for you—it’s the new remake of Suspiria ! Or, I should say, it’s the new “cover version,” which is what director Luca Guadagnino calls it. I poke fun, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with this approach—the new film takes the central mystery of the