Mr. Fitxit

If I’ve written an episode description, I’ve written it 33 times. Why in the name of a Jeopardy contestant’s HOA meeting would anyone ever say, “if I told you once I told you a thousand times”???? What a bogus If/Then statement. Pretty sure MS Excel would give you a big fat #VALUE! Or #REF! for that….
Speaking of which, was that MS Excel joke “nerdy”???
I’m def fed up with jock-nerds who are all nerdy about jock things. Bro… I watch SPEEDRUN videos of KIDS playing NINTENDO 64 games when I can’t sleep and I probably clean n jerk more than you AND I just ran 10 miles yesterday…. And I’m NOT a nerd about Jock bullshimt!!! 
Hey… I don’t want anyone to think we meant to imply Kenny G isn’t creative. How could he not be.
Have y’all ever made a tin foil canoe?
Seems less wasteful than those “structures” Ms. F was making and gettin last place but still going to Orlando to WASTE MORE FOOD AND GLUE IT TOGETHER!!!! At least no one could have EATEN a FOIL CANOE FULL OF WASHERS IN A KIDDIE POOL IN AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PARKING LOT!!!!!!!
Love,
Mr. & Ms. F

ZAIREEKA! Honestly y’all … I’ve read nerd ass critics say it’s terrible but I’ll tell ya….. you and your friends get your pupils dilated AF and get a 50 pound Dell laptop from 2001 and someone’s old boom box… and some other CD players from eBay or whatever …. And boyyyy I’ll tell ya… it’s cool for a few minutes. But I’m happy to have done it a few times.
Hey… seriously tho… why are grownass adults going around telling ppl but not telling them they’re just blasting off into their wives’ vags? “We’re trying to get pregnant.” Ummmmmmmm ok? Thanks for sharing I guess? Thanks for putting this image in my head? It was awkward enough before you shared this information to a room full of people who don’t want to hear this…. Although I seem to be the only one whose brain goes there? Get outta here that’s BULLSHHHIMT. 
Hey… what kind of idiot store manager (or whoever decides where to put fruity pebbles cereal bars in which aisles at stores) decides to put one kind of fruity pebble cereal bar in the aisle with crap like vitamins n “protein cookies” and another kind of fruity pebbles cereal bar in an aisle like 200 feet away from the other fruity pebble cereal bars? Sometimes I think I’m an idiot… but I’m relieved and also further upset when I notice there’s people doing better off than I am making stupid decisions like this.
I thought this episode was gonna be boring but holy crap it’s the best one yet. Let’s drive slowly over some pedestrians while blaring the quad citiy DJs yall WOO ooo WOOOOO!!!!!
Love
Mr. & Ms. F

Does Maryland even have fingers? I thought it did... I don't know I briefly looked at a map after this and it looked mega different than the last time I saw Maryland on a map. Weird.
Does eternity depend on your size? But your size only matters when you have something of a different size to compare it to.... right? Does that matter when Mr. F snaps and the sound wave from his fingers travels 3 and a half meters across the room to Ms. F? What about the microscopic things floating in the air between Mr. and Ms. F??? Does the sound wave obliterate those things or pick them up along the way? And do those things even have brains or something that can even comprehend what is happening? Do those things know what language is? Do they need to understand our language or can they perceive on some other level. Ay yi yi. 
What a stupid STUPID name for some kind of triad of fitness-ey things. Sounds more like a game involving a tumbling tower of rectangular blocks than a place to get strong and healthy or whatever. Screw that.
And how bout that name of that crossword puzzle creator? 
Give it up for Cubby and trying to imitate a WD-40 can. 
This is the best episode ever so far.
Please listen with headphones. Or in a car or wherever FINE. And share with your friends. We love you.

Wow didn’t even realize we’d done 30. HOO freakin RAY.
Doesn’t it feel like Gatorade Frost just came out not that long ago? Weird.
Who the hell does Mississippi think they are? Ole Miss???????? I guess if your state is that horrible maybe you have to make yourselves stand out somehow. Maybe some would say that’s what we do with this show. But does it even stand out? Maybe it sits down to stand up. Have you ever heard that song where he screams that? I have. It rocks so hard.
Hey… can you believe we never got a picture when Brian and I had an entire wall of our apartment dedicated to local sex offenders? Brian if you’re reading this and I haven’t texted you yet… lemme know if you have a picture… or kept the map. HE SERIOUSLY DREW THE MAP!!! Of Chicago!!!! TO SCALE (I think.)
If you have ideas on how to spell that “word” at the end, let us know. My brain is convinced it knows the answer but I’ve been wrong about many things a lot of times. That’s the thing about people who think they are never wrong… they’re wrong A LOT and you CAN’T TRUST THEM.  But y’all can trust me. Even tho I just told you I’m wrong a lot. 🤔hmm Weird. Maybe you can’t trust me either then.
Or Ms. F…. SHE CAN’t EVEN SPELL ALIBI! OR SQUIRL WITH 2 Rs!!!!
Keep listening.
We have love for you.

Hey..
Have you ever made hash browns from scratch before?
Have you ever been wearing red pants with the fly open and have any bits and/or pieces sticking out in the middle of class?
Hey... aren't you glad you weren't born with that thing in your brain that makes you decide one day to murder your family and get a documentary made about you???
But what if you have that thing and just don't know it yet????? That'd be the freakin' WORST!!!!!
Also... why would a person... who later gets shot in the face and kidney (with a gun) ... decide to do THAT to a BAT???????
Hopefully someone out there can answer our questions about why planes can't just turn like cars... and also answer the age old question...
WHERE DOES VINEGAR COME FROM?????????????
Thanks for listening.
Please meat Jim & Bob and us at [Texas (Road{house})] to throw shit all over the floor.
We love you.

Wow can you figure out why there'd be a pic of Martin Mull on the cover of this one????? That can be a little game for "y'all" to figure out. Wow. That's cool. What's not cool is the kid from the Nirvana cover doing that thing he did. I can/can't believe it.
This is probably the greatest episode ever.
But we must have faith that future ones will continue to get better... so much better, in fact, that we look back at this one and say, "wow... that song during the capillaries part SUCKED." Well that's your opinion, young man. And you're an IDIOT.
Hey does this show count as ASMR?? I think it might actually. I'm going to tag it with that. I think these are probably best listened to with headphones/ear goggles anyway. Sitting at your desk at a job you hate with co-workers who are willing to just get fat and do nothing but their dumb job 10-12 hours a day not including the hour and a half part in the morning where you're just filled with despair making coffee ....plus the commute time to and from.....  and then just watch sports at night time and say things to you the next day like, "did you see the game?" or "hey you look like that one fighter... the Irish guy" ... pretty cool we humans decided upon this system and to just do that for our short time on this planet.
Not me though... nooooo sir... I'm recording PODCASTS and turning things Ms. F says about freaking PENISES into sooooongs man!
That story about Ozzy Osbourne pretty much sums up my entire life I think.
Please tell your friends about our songs about penises and also our songs about capillaries.
We love you.

I'm going to start shortening the titles of these things. Titles are nice... not just "things that the episode is about" yknow? And it's not like this episode ISN'T about headbutting kids in first grade anyway.....yknow?
We finally get to the see-el-eye-tee-oh-are-eye-ess Clippers submissions this week. Sheesh it's about time. Did y'all know that cool fact about paper and folding things in half? Wow. 
Remember ... you can't judge a book by it's cover unless it's a self help book. Can you imagine actually reading / finishing a non fiction book?  Wow.
I have made 2 to 4 websites in my day... but probs none as good as that first one we talk about in this one. Really wish / am glad it's not still there.
Really happy they contacted JOZVEJCORP about making the music for the "Penguins and Skeletons" video game.
Keep lis'n'n'
Love you.

Wow what a fun episode.
Don’t you think someone should be able to win the whole Olympics? And if you were to retroactively turn a pseudo “conversation” about Malört  into a pseudo “song,” wouldn’t you also make it in 11/4 time? Oh you don’t know anything about music theory? Neither do I. But I know how to count to 11 boy do I ever. And boy have I ever been learning how to say things about horses and bread in Portuguese on a popular language teaching-you-how-to-speak-it app. What a hoot.
We love you.

Twelve is a solid number of eps per season YKNOW??????!
Plus I do feel we are in a NEW ERA of the show… 
so it feels right to have a NEW STARTING POINT or sumthin.
I KNOW that the Z-word we refer to is ACTUALLY just someone who MAKES the stuff, not necessarily a CONNOISSEUR of the stuff but let’s “be real”… if you’re gonna make the stuff, you “should” be a CONNOISSEUR of the stuff…. AND VICE VERSA FREAKIN PROBABLY!!!?
PS our “editing team” cut out an entire 6+ minutes from this about picking your own line at the grocery store vs getting into a separate pre-line with your fellow shoppers so you all have the best chance of getting the best available line. Ms. F had NO IDEA what I was talking about and it was STUPID… but I’m sure “y’all” would back ME up on that anyway right??????!
And I KNOW it’s EASY to “make fun of” prescription drug commercials BUT WTF is that side effect for your Type 2 diabetes pill, JARDIANCE®️?????
PS I don’t think we’ll ACTUALLY talk about the Olympics every week bc they’re over now (I think?) and we didn’t even watch em.
MAYBE WE WILL THO!
WATER POLO LOOKS LIKE GYM CLASS! 
Keep listening… 
TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
SEND @MRFITXIT YOUR WINNIFRED CLEO SUBMISSIONS!!!
We LOVE YOU!!!
C-L-I-T-O-R-iiiii-S….C-L-i-P….P-E-R-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C-L-I-T-O-R-iiiii-S….C-L-i-P….P-E-R-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh ohhhhhhhhh have you ever used THAT as a substitute for freakin' toilet paper? I was once like you. But now I'm like me because I have.
Ms. F has a nice little theme now... it sounds like a video game rhythmic ceremonial ritual in a field with horns or somethin' IMHO.... or maybe even a song from Winnifred Cleo and her li'l pink button band.. but that's for Y'ALL to decide ANYway.
Imagine going into your work room in the basement where your kid has been having recurring dreams about in which a monster pops out of at the end and catches your kid at the top of the basement stairs before he wakes up and you look in the corner by the water heater and find two soaking wet blonde wigs and then pick em up and realize they're soaked in freakin' piss.
And speaking of that... can you imagine that happening to your turquoise binder / Trapper Keeper-esque thing? WOW.
Ay yi yi.... 
Please submit your Winnifred Cleo ideas. Our li'l clapping/singing piece at the end happened COMPLETELY ORGANICALLY. Wow can you believe it? Winnifred is in the air and was meant to be. 
Keep listening.
Love you.