Mr Vertical Line

Welcome to episode 6!! In this episode, Kevin Gary Phillips is joined with the dashing Max Michael Clendaniel as his co-host as the scrumptious Ivan Samuel Berry could not make it into studio MVL today. 

Max and Kevin speak with their guest Malcolm Richard Badewitz over Skype at about 3AM (his time) from LA! What a champ! 

Malcolm is an incredibly funny dude with a bunch of funny (and equally horrifying) stories involving some of his pets. If there’s anything I can do to help prepare you for this episode, it’s to tell you this…….

NATURE 

IS 

HORRIBLE!!

Also, don’t go to New York, spiders are badass, and don’t go in the first cage!

Good people, what a treat Episode 5 has for you all. Now let our smooth, buttery, creamy and yet lumpy voices soothe you today; it’s been a hard week, and we know exactly what you crave. So grab that glass of wine you deserve, dim the lights, pull your socks up to your nips, comb your noise hair real nice, because here comes what you all asked for…..Stories about: 

• Fingers up bum-holes
•  What reaction the Ivan Samuel Berry of yester-year would give to thinking a spider was on him (hint: it’s really cool) 
• & we have our returning guest Max Michael Clendaniel describe something rather awesome that he decided to do for a film project at high-school one year (hint: it rhymes with “setting your leg on fire”).  
• Also guys…..”MY STOMACH IS STICKY!!”…..that will makes sense very soon.

This episode really just needs to be listened to in order to be fully understood. But if I HAVE to create a blurb to entice you people, here’s my attempt:

Max is a lovely person that doesn’t deserve bad things….but we don’t live in a world that dishes out consequence equal to action sometimes….so…..please just listen and learn about something that happened to my friend that really can’t be summarised in a blurb. I guess I’ll leave you with the familiar buzz-word bullet point method that we all love and need sometimes:

• Curry-flavoured condoms
  
  
• Tampon decorations
  
  
• Poo in a bin
  
  
• Poo in a golf hole
  
  
• Dolly Parton VS The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
  
  
• Bristol

Ever wondered what it's like to be kept awake all night because of people having really loud, but yet unconvincing sex next door to your hotel room in Bangkok? Or have you ever wished you could hear some truly horrifying facts about ducks? Cool…..keep reading. 

Welcome to episode 3, in which Ivan Samuel Berry and Kevin Gary Phillips have the pleasure of introducing their first EVER guest to the show: MAX MICHEAL CLENDANIEL! Max’s story-telling skills are up there with the very best, so it was a pleasure to have him on the show this week. I don’t want to give away too much, but here are some buzzwords that you will understand once you’ve hear this week’s “ep” (cool way of saying episode).

• Fuzzy Ducklings
• Audio-porn
• Green motorcycles
• Ducks
• Dave
• Golden Eggs
• I see dead people

Finally, just one more thing. Max and Kevin both attended a church when they were younger. They both have stories to tell, so tell stories they did. Ivan never went to church, but his mate Dave did.

Enough foreplay, JUST LISTEN AND ENJOY:

Max and the Golden Egg

“MOTHER!! FATHER!! COME QUICK!! EPISODE 2 IS FINALLY HERE!!”

I’m assuming this is what you yelled this fine Wednesday morn?…no?..Ok well I’ll stop speaking like an olden posh-head.

There’s a reason I call this a “..storytelling and CONFESSIONAL podcast”; essentially the first part of the episode focusses entirely on things Ivan and Kevin got away with when they were young. Some minor, some a little bit “more-than-minor”. I won’t focus too much on that part because the main thing you need to remember is this: it’s all false and none of it is true…ok? Cool.

Also, Kevin Gary Phillips talks about an experience he had when he walked into a car-park in Guildford and was transported to a Tim Burton film……or maybe Tarantino? 

So ladies and gents, stop everything you are doing AT ONCE, and enjoy the latest instalment of MVL: Scams & The Blob Man

IT’S OFFICIAL, EPISODE 1 IS HERE!!!

It’s a splendid day, and splendid days deserve splendid stories. So, now that your whistles have been sufficiently wet with the Teaser Episode, it’s time to provide you with some story-telling meat. So Here it is!

Poo; it’s a funny old word isn’t it. It can be a noun, a verb, an adjective (I guess), and an expletive. For some, it’s a word than invokes revulsion and distaste. For others, it’s DEFINES their humour and cannot talk about it enough. For KGP, when he hears the word, it only brings up one emotion…regret. More on that later.

You should probably know beforehand: The stuff Kevin Gary Phillips admits to on this episode for his story is really quite disgusting, so please try your best not to judge him….but he totally understands if you do….because it’s basically impossible not to. 

So sit back, put a pair of headphones on, gather round the wireless (or whatever), and enjoy hearing about Scars and Back Stage Regrets. 

About 2 years ago, Kevin Gary Phillips had a dream: to one day start his own podcast. So he thought about it real hard, and then did nothing.

Then later he did something! He called his friend Ivan Samuel Berry and asked him to be a co-host on his podcast. Ivan said “no”. Kevin said “do it or I will murder everyone you love!”, Ivan said “I’ll do it!”. and they high-fived! 

Ivan and Kevin then tried one idea, which never really took off because it was terrible and stupid.

THEN…MR VERTICAL LINE WAS BORN.

In this teaser episode, Ivan and Kevin discuss roughly what to expect from the show, and give a couple of tasty stories to wet your naughty little appetites. We also talk very briefly about the things that make us laugh:

balls

boobs

Big fish…or Big Train (inside joke)

If that wasn’t enough to get you to hit play, Ivan also dies halfway through the episode and Kevin bravely nurses him back to life because he is sexy and brave and sexy…..(that last part may not have been actually recorded).

So sit back, pop a pair of headphones on, and enjoy hearing about scary youth leaders, and a slap happy ex. 

Oh and Kevin also explains why he named the podcast MVL.