We may intellectually know our feelings matter, but emotionally we don’t acknowledge them or even know how we really feel. So what happens? We end up discounting or disowning this HUGE part of us. And we think if we’re able to make someone else ok, we’ll be ok. In other words, by filling someone else up, we think we’re filling ourselves up. Unfortunately… no. That’s not how it works. You can’t control others’ feelings, and even if you could, it wouldn’t make you feel fetter.

Sacrificing your own feelings for someone else doesn’t bring you closer to them either. It gives you a false sense of control that you THINK will end your own suffering. When you dishonor your feelings, you end up feeling empty, defeated and resentful. I’m not saying you need to discount other people’s feelings, but catering to theirs at the expense of your own is how you go against yourself. It’s the opposite of self-love.

Look at your relationships—where do you discount your feelings or hide them from others? What are you afraid of losing? Power? Control? Love? If you keep going down the road of saying your feelings don’t matter, you’re not living an authentic existence. You want the appearance of things being ok, but that doesn’t feel good. It’s not your feelings vs. their feelings—this isn’t black and white. There is enough space in the world for their feelings AND your feelings to matter. Stop sacrificing yours thinking you need to choose.