My Intimacy Therapist

**Please note: podcasts episodes are not a form of, or replacement for, therapeutic treatment. Please consult with a licensed therapist in order to receive direct therapeutic intervention for your specific story.

Are you choosing relationships consciously, or on autopilot?

When we choose relationships on autopilot (i.e. going with what feels right, what we're used to, what's familiar), we'll repeat the same pattern over and over again. In other words, dating the same person, just with a different face. Or, ending up in situations where our environment (or we, ourselves) are unsafe.

But how do you change this pattern?

Ivy Kwong, therapist and coach, talks about her specific history of trauma and unhealthy patterns, and how she began to consciously choose a healthy, life-giving relationship.

Follow Ivy Kwong

There are many ways to self-sabotage in a relationship, but triangulation is one of the most dangerous.

Sometimes, our relationship (us + our partner) experiences too much stress or tension. There's an elephant in the room that we don't know how to discuss. A problem we don't know how to resolve. An issue that we repeatedly blow up about. But when we feel incapable of approaching the problem head-on, we bring in a miscellaneous "third party" to relieve the tension on the relationship system.

And this is the beginning of a slow death to the relationship we hold so dear. What are you triangulating to ease the tension in your relationship?

Choose a tier in Patreon. I love making this content for you, but it is not free to produce. Your support definitely goes a long way!

Join Here

Dating as a single adult can be...a challenge, to say the least. It's hard to know what makes someone a valuable partner, or what makes someone a walking red flag. In this episode, relationship coach Shaun Galanos (also known as The Love Drive) joins us to talk about popular dating myths. We're sure you've heard some of these before...

Remember: relationships are fluid and people are complex. Be careful about snap judgments.

Get to Know Shaun Galanos

Therapeutic Resources:

On your journey towards personal development, healing from trauma, or creating a long-lasting relationship, you're going to notice that you feel.... tired. You might even think that you haven't made any progress!

This episode is your personal pick-me-up. You're doing the work. Keep going. Listen again and again if it helps you remember this.

If you are up to date on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, then you know that the Infinity Stones were a big deal over the past few years. This episode offers a unique twist on: how can you use the infinity stones to benefit your relationship?

Enjoyed this episode? Take a minute to leave A 5-STAR REVIEW on Apple Podcasts! Why? It helps this show appear higher in search results, so that more folks can feel fully seen, fully known, and fully loved

Interested in more intimacy-related content? Visit my website to read the blog, sign up for weekly emails, and download free goodies! www.myintimacytherapist.com

Starting a new dating relationship or entering the newlywed phase can be....surprising. After finding the person that you absolutely adore, you may feel shocked to find that opening up, letting down your walls, and getting close to your boo creates a lot of tension, anxiety, or confusion that you didn't previously feel.

Maybe you've experienced Purity Culture and aren't sure how to connect in the realm of physical intimacy. Or maybe you notice that sharing your feelings and navigating conflict is a lot harder than you'd thought.

In this episode, I speak with spoken word poet, speaker and actress Arielle Estoria about her personal experiences with singleness and coupling.

More About Arielle Estoria

Arielle Estoria is made of sass and good intentions, does not believe in surface level conversations, is a good coffee paired with even better conversation enthusiast and breakfast burritos and flowers are her love language.

Arielle has shared her work through custom spoken word pieces, workshops and themed keynote talks with companies such as Google, Sofar Sounds, Lululemon, Dressember, Tedx, the SKIMS campaign by Kim Kardashian and more.

Arielle’s first EP, a collection of music and poetry called “Symphony of a Lioness” and her single “Magic (In Your Bones)” are available on iTunes or Apple Music. She is Co-author of two collections of poetry: Vagabonds and Zealots (2014) and Write Bloody Spill Pretty (2017) which can both be found on Amazon.com.

Website: arielleestoria.com

Feel inspired and need help navigating through your intimate life? Book a complimentary consultation with me **HERE or purchase the Intimacy Mindset Makeover online course w/ activities **HERE!

Sure, orgasms are widely bragged about in TV, songs, and maybe in your circle of close friends. But what if you haven't ever had an orgasm before? What if you're having trouble with your current partner? What if you don't know what an orgasm is, really?

Here's your discreet episode to understand how mind, body and soul come together to create the orgasmic experience - and (plot twist) why I don't think they should be considered as important as they are!

Want guidance for different, non-intercourse options for sexual intimacy? Purchase Intimacy Mindset Makeover digital course (with activities) HERE

Get more resources on intimacy by reading the blog and downloading your free couple's touch guide by exploring the My Intimacy Therapist website here: https://www.myintimacytherapist.com

I've always been in love with story as a format to better understand concepts... so here you go! Disclaimer: this is completely fictional and is not based on any real persons. However, this story is one that you may be able to relate to.

Oh! If this show has meant something to you, I'd appreciate a review on Apple Podcasts! Thank you...I'm honored that you'd take 5 minutes out of your day to share your thoughts with me and with others!

Being able to discuss your likes, dislikes, needs and desires around intimacy is very important to the health of your relationship. So this episode is full of questions to spark communication with your boo!

DISCLAIMER: Make wise decisions. Podcasts episodes are not a form of clinical intervention, and they are not a substitute for therapy. Get in touch with a therapist in your area (United States, or Atlanta, GA) to receive professional sex therapy guidance.

If you are in a relationship, save this episode and play it when you're with your partner! Feel free to pause in between questions in order to give full time and space for response. Don't rush.

2:38 - What are the beliefs that you have about the way God sees you while you are having sex?

3:36 - What makes you embarrassed, ashamed, or self-conscious during sexual intimacy?

4:09 - What turns you off from sex? Be specific

4:47 - What were your first sexual development memories? Doesn't have to be associated with pleasure at all, but simply your growth as a human. What beliefs or thoughts came from these memories?

5:48 - Based on what you mentioned in the previous question, what surprised you about your response or your partner's? Do you want to know more about anything?

6:19 - How do you know when you are turned on? When you are first becoming open to sharing sexual intimacy

7:30 - What do you like to see/hear/or feel from your partner as a form of initiation?

8:41 - What is one hope that you have for your intimate life, or one affirmation that you have for your partner about why you love connecting sexually with them?

Subscribe to the podcast!

Today, my primary focus as a licensed marriage and family therapist is in helping couples develop healthy communication and expectations around sexual intimacy. But trust me, I didn't start out being comfortable talking about sex with people.

If you feel uncomfortable discussing intimacy with your partner, or even seeing yourself as a sexual person, sex therapy is a great option for a safe space to explore your beliefs, your spirituality, and your desired intimate life.