By Emeric McCleary, Widower
4.9
2323 ratings
The podcast currently has 97 episodes available.
The last doctor visit, and why Jane’s doctor cries.
Hope discussion. Did Jarie have a hope stopping point, like I did?
What love is.
Jane’s last written words, delivered to Jarie, after Jane dies.
Now, how Jarie lives each day, even if it’s a shytty day. Try this.
Love after Jane. Is soon, too soon? Define soon.
Dating and guilt. No one else knows your path.
If you’re uncertain (scared to death) about dating, hear what Jarie says, because you might not have another shot.
Quitting substances (except caffeine and orange-glazed scones). Jarie specifies his decisions, effects, and how this helps to not make life more miserable.
Golden words of wisdom.
Link to Jarie’s website JarieBolander.com where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie.
If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here: Part 1 Part 2
Thanks for listening.
Yes, and...
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
Vaping to cope. THC and CBD.
Jane needs Jarie to be her ROCK.
Failure lump in Jarie’s throat. The feeling…how anxiety and stress manifest themselves.
When Jarie, the man who loves a plan, asks himself “How am I going to fix this?” And then realizes “I can’t fix this!”
Chemotherapy ravages—Jarie buzzes off Jane’s long black hair.
Freezing your embryos. Jarie and I have a gut-wrenching intimate discussion.
Discussing death with your dying spouse. So hard.
How a guardian angel social worker puts things into clear focus.
Jarie describes the best gift he’s ever had: priceless words Jane said to him about finding love after death.
Link to Jarie’s website JarieBolander.com where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie.
If you haven't listened to Part 1, link here: Part 1
Thanks for listening.
Join us for part 3 of 3.
Yes, and...
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
If you marry, and mark your day with ceremony, you might include these wedding vows:
To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part.
Half-easy to recite, but fulfill—a Sisyphean effort.
Widowed guest co-host and author Jarie Bolander joins us.
Jarie’s book is titled: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband’s Memoir.
Jarie’s memoir, a poignant tribute to his late spouse Jane, is a testament to the power of love and commitment those exact wedding vows embody.
Here’s the set-up…
Friday, the day after Christmas 2015.
Married less than two years, Jarie and Jane are San Francisco’s young attractive power couple. Jarie is 45, a Silicon Valley engineer, entrepreneur, seven-book author, podcaster, blogger, and working on another start-up. Jarie is a highly functional introvert.
Jarie’s spouse Jane, an outright extrovert, runs the public relations firm she founded. A quenchless zest for life fills Jane, a 35-year-old fireball.
Jarie and Jane work on making a baby.
But after two miscarriages…diagnostic blood tests become routine.
Now, the day after Christmas—after spending a few hectically fun-filled days at Jane’s parent’s house, it’s time to drive the thirty-five-plus minutes home to San Francisco.
Jarie looks forward to getting home midday and relaxing a bit before their restaurant dinner date.
But Jane insists on having her next routine blood draw today. Jarie protests why Jane can’t wait until the next week because it’s barely the day after Christmas AND it’s a Friday.
The walk-in-no-appointment-necessary laboratory is on the way home. It’s quick.
Blood drawn.
35 minutes later, Jane and Jarie arrive home, unpack, and put their luggage away.
Jane’s cell phone rings. An unknown caller. Jarie says ignore it.
Jane answers because restaurants often call to confirm reservations.
The restaurant is not the caller--the medical facility calls.
Jane’s blood test results signal concern. The caller wants Jane to test more NOW. Please come into the hospital via the Emergency Room entrance.
Jarie and Jane enter the ER entrance. And straight away, escorted into a curtained section.
Not even 6 minutes pass, two doctors enter.
After introductions, one doctor asks Jane do you know why you’re here?
Jane says, because I was told over the phone my blood test was abnormal. The doctor agrees.
The doctors also ask about the small patches of red dots on Jane’s tummy. The red dots appeared after the last miscarriage—severe cramping often bursts tiny surface blood vessels.
Jane asks why, what about the red dots—and the doctors say they need an opinion from the on-call oncologist.
Oncologist? Why an oncologist?
One doctor says, well, we’re not exactly sure, but it looks like you might have…leukemia.
Jarie’s book is the first I’ve read written from a widowed Man’s viewpoint.
Jarie’s memoir NAILS it. So much echoes my own once-upon-a-time story.
Jarie hands you his heart, his fears, his perceived failings. Weaknesses. Strengths. Obsessions. Addictions. Things you only tell your therapist.
Jarie’s experience might parallel yours. For example, as men, we were raised to be protectors, not caregivers. An old-fashioned male archetype? In our DNA?
Jarie painstakingly details his caregiving odyssey.
Losing himself in Jane’s sickness, he copes by numbing. Alcohol. Pot, Caffeine. His therapist doesn’t know to what extent.
Jane’s health declines. Jarie can’t protect Jane. His self-perceived failure persecutes him.
And from diagnosis to death, not even 18 months pass.
Kindly observe what happens after Jane’s death.
Because Jarie continues his lionhearted pilgrimage— through grief and anger— to find himself, and love again.
Link to Jarie’s website JarieBolander.com where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie.
Thanks for listening.
Join us for part 2 of 3.
Yes, and...
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
Gut-busting, emphatic, grand finale.
First, listen someplace where it’s safe to pee your pants.
Why Susan’s Uber driver advises her to lock the hotel door and under no circumstances come out until morning.
Pretending all is okay--when it’s not.
Telling your family to shut the fuctuplets up.
Is God kept on retainer?
The High School Provocative Classmates Widow Group.
Susan Can’t imagine falling in love again.
Oh God, I’m blushing. Can you say vi-vi-vibrators?
Life’s three stages according to Susan: what sex, food, and bowel movements have in common.
Women pee their pants.
Susan gets solicited by a hot-to-trot widower looking to replace his dead caregiver.
Why Susan transforms her basement into a NYC Greenwich Village Bohemian apartment.
Hard and unasked questions. Regret, resentment, risk, and fear.
Mark was worth missing.
Why Amazon delivers 12 bottles of body wash, after Mark dies.
And there’s more…
If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here: Part 1 Part 2
Thanks for listening.
Yes, and...
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
Morphine, ahhhhh. Mark’s last days.
Wait, what about Sofie, Mark’s dying dog?
The last goodbye. Mark and Sofie wear American football team Green Bay Packers sweatshirts.
From the Woo Woo and Taboo Department: before Susan’s birth, her mom bore a son. He died at birth. Like a shameful secret, never discussed. So how does Susan’s four-year-old son know about Susan’s late infant brother?
Now alone, Susan says “F#@k it, I don’t want to cook!”
After Mark dies, Susan is pissed off at Mark. Susan discusses the metaphorical burden she carries and how she sheds it.
Living alone and liking it, without guilt.
Susan’s kids don’t think she has it “all together.”
Susan lies to her kids! She reveals when and why. You might employ the tactic.
Soon after Mark dies, Susan, her kids, and grandkids go away for a much-needed beach vacation.
What happens in 24 hours, when you add fresh grief, plus all-day-on-the-beach Bloody Marys, plus Mark’s favorite Merle Haggard country music?
You get a military-strength family explosion—followed by passive-aggressive silent treatment.
But wait, there’s more. Go and listen.
If you haven't listened to Part 1, avoid rickets. Link here: Part 1
Thanks for listening.
Join us for the grand finale, part 3.
Yes, and...
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
Widowed dynamo Susan Yelton jumps into action as my guest co-host in this first episode of a whirl-wind 3 part series.
The series makes you: question, agree, cry, laugh, piss you off, shake your head and your fist, say oh my gosh, and holy shyt.
Susan even makes me blush! In a later episode we talk about sexuality…just listen for yourself. You hear me turn red.
A Baptist preacher’s daughter, at age 16, Susan meets Mark. A long-haired guitar-strumming 19-year-old. Akin to a 60’s folk singer. Instantly in love.
Three years later they marry, and stay that way for fifty-two years until death do you part.
But not without a roller coaster ride.
Alcoholism, shame-filled cover-ups, and how they saved their marriage.
Then two and a half years ago, Mark got sick.
You’ll hear about Gloria Vanderbilt the cat, and Sophie the dog. Sophie’s dying too… she won’t leave Mark’s side. You see how and why Susan keeps Sophie alive.
The harsh reality of hospice.
Why Mark administers his morphine. Susan won’t administer it because a mysterious morphine experience haunts her.
And so much more…
Whether you’re 25 or 95 years old, priceless gems emerge—warnings, lessons, and advice.
Thanks for listening.
Join us for part 2 of 3.
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
“Are you sitting down?” When you answer your phone and the caller says this, does lousy news always ensue?
Kady ruminates over how to deliver bad news to her teen daughter.
Grief ambushes Kady.
Kady details her what-ifs. Mourning what you thought could be.
What Kady believes causes her grief—an eloquent explanation.
Can death deliver relief? Kady’s fear-filled recurring nightmare about Mikey.
If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here: Part 1 Part 2
More EX grief stories? Listen to my sister Vickey's episode 11: Three Weddings. (Vickey grieves the loss of an ex-husband. Ken, her ex, is the father of Vickey’s two sons. First-born son Derek, a U.S. Marine, was killed in Iraq.)
Thank you for listening.
Yes, and...
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds.
Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary
Kady gives Mikey an ultimatum.
Mother’s little helper (the Xanax kind).
Granting extra chances (breaking boundaries to stanch your pain and unease?)
Kady says, “I don’t need a man."
Meet Kady's condominium complex busybody matchmaker, aka, Miss Pat.
Wisdom from grandma.
A suicide threat.
Might Kady move in with a man?
A poignant proposal.
And Kady gets an unforeseen telephone call about her ex, Mikey.
If you haven't listened to Part 1, here's the link: Part 1
More grief from an Ex? Then here's the link to my sister Vickey's episode 11: Three Weddings
Yes, and...
Before you split,
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds.
Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary
You might label Kady’s Ex a “major dyck head.”
Today, Kady and her new husband celebrate ten-plus years with two kids—a teen and a five-year-old. (The Ex fathered Kady’s teen).
And then Kady’s Ex dies.
Grief ambushes Kady.
Secretly grieving, Kady struggles to make sense of it. Embarrassment and shame pile on. Kady doesn’t want to tell anyone.
And why might someone grieve the death of a major dyck head?
This three-part series details awkward young love, endearing qualities, substance abuse, loss of innocence, teen pregnancy, immaturity, growing up too fast, choosing what’s best for your baby girl, sticking to boundaries, dating again, serendipitously finding a new spouse, and grieving your EX, even if your EX was an ashwhole.
Thanks for listening.
Podcast links mentioned:
Emeric's sister Vickey's episode 11: Three Weddings
Wait, there's more!
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give grief the middle finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena
Welcome to part 2: Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals, with my guest co-host Linda Klein. Linda is co-editor of the book Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals.
I shamelessly ripped off the book’s title for the podcast episode title because it makes sense.
If you haven’t listened to part 1, please do that first to avoid brain freeze. Here's the link.
In this final episode, we pick up where we left off from part one.
I finish reading a once-upon-a-time story and then read one more tremendous story of spousal loss.
You’ll hear the author’s thoughts on erasing the late spouse’s last voice message.
Sitting Shiva. How a piece of us dies with the dying.
Does joy eventually outweigh the sadness?
Resilience.
Wedding ring conundrums (or How NOT to remove your wedding ring).
The Mission: Normalizing loss and grief amongst doctors and healthcare professionals.
And a whole lot more.
Enjoy this final chitchat with book co-editor and guest co-host Linda Klein.
Thanks for listening.
If you haven't heard part 1, here's the link.
Buy the book at Amazon. Here's the link: https://a.co/d/a15mjX2
Our House Grief Support Center link: https://ourhouse-grief.org
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:
Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.
Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.
Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: https://www.myspousediedtoo.com.
Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.
~ Emeric
My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2023 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.
The podcast currently has 97 episodes available.
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