'Twas then that I wished that I was dead and Columbo could go to sea no more.

"Last Salute to the Commodore" was the sixth episode of Columbo's fifth season, which aired on May 2, 1976. Starring Peter Falk, Columbo is a crime drama series that follows the adventures of the ostensibly-bumbling, quietly-cunning Lieutenant Columbo. The formula is simple: The audience gets to see a too-clever-by-half killer attempt to get away with a crime, and then watch Columbo toy with — and ultimately bust — the murderer. It's great fun.

"Last Salute to the Commodore" was at one time conceived as a send-off to the series. Directed by Danger Man and The Prisoner star Patrick McGoohan, it's attracted a reputation as a baffling mess that somewhat randomly breaks the mold set by the series. It's all about

In addition to Falk, it also stars The Man from U.N.C.L.E.'s Robert Vaughn, Wilfrid Hyde-White, John Dehner, Dennis Dugan, Diane Baker, Bruce Kirby, Joshua Brant, Susan Foster, Fred Draper, Rod McCary, and John Finnegan.

Listen to Áine and Kevin meander around the mizzenmast with topics like pacing, Patrick McGoohan's career, and behind-the-scenes Mystery to Me drama.

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"The Big Neighbor" ran as the fifth episode of Dragnet 1967's second season, airing on October 12, 1967. It stars Jack Webb and Harry Morgan, with appearances from Randy Stuart, Ann Morgan Guilbert, John Nolan, Kent McCord, Hal Lynch, Rhoda Williams, and Joseph Gallison.

Crime takes a backseat to football, pushy neighbors, and strange vibes in this installment, which sees Officer Bill Gannon invite Sergeant Joe Friday to his suburban abode for a hang-out session.

"The Big Dog" was the eleventh episode of Dragnet 1967's second season. It aired on November 23, 1967. Jack Webb and Harry Morgan are back, along with Merry Anders, Art Gilmore, Luana Anders, Bart Burns, Phil Arnold, Bonnie Hughes, Jean Inness, Doodles Weaver, Monty Margetts, Maidie Norman, and Alma Platt.

In this surreal canine caper, Friday and Gannon must fetch evidence around a devious detachment of dishonest dogs. You see, these hustling hounds, these criminal curs, these mendacious mutts, are making off with innocent women's purses. You read that right!

Listen to Áine and Kevin bark about Dragnet's Dognet episodes, Friday's weekends. and the strange vibes with Gannon's wife, Eileen.

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"A Killing in the Second House," the eleventh episode of Kojak's second season, debuted on November 17, 1974. It starred Telly Savalas, Martin Balsam, Dan Frazier, Kevin Dobson and George Savalas.

It tells the tale of a corrupt ex-cop who hatches a plot that just might make him enough cash so he and his horoscope-reading wife can go to Paris and start over. Or it might just blow up in his face and completely wreck his life. We'll just have to watch and see what happens.

Listen to Kevin and Áine — who once did the ding dong number together — speculate about the Savalas sibling dynamics, discover which of them was a Facebook friend of a Kojak cast member, and discuss Kevin's propensity for buying old media that hasn't aged well.

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It was the Dragnet Christmas story that kept on giving.

"The Big Little Jesus" first debuted on the Dragnet radio program that preceded the television show. "The Big Little Jesus" first ran on December 22, 1953. It was re-broadcast on December 21, 1954 and December 25, 1956. It made its television debut on December 24, 1953, as the seventeenth episode of the show's third season. It starred Jack Webb, Ben Alexander, Harry Bartell, Joe Carioca Jr., James Griffith, Ralph Moody, Herb Vigran, Walter Sande, and Billy Chapin. In the show's successor series, Dragnet 1967, it was redone and re-christened "The Christmas Story." That aired on December 21, 1967, and starred Jack Webb and Harry Morgan, and then practically the same cast! Bartell, Moody, and Vigran return, along with newcomers Bobby Troup, Byron Morrow, William Challee, Fernando Vásquez, Craig Huxley, and The Brady Bunch's Barry Williams.

It's all about a missing statue of the Christ child that goes away from its manger right on the eve of ... well, Christmas Eve.

We also review "The Big .22" Rifle for Christmas." It's the seventh episode of Dragnet's second season, and it aired on December 18, 1952. Like "The Big Little Jesus," it was repeatedly aired in the radio version of the show as well. It was first broadcast December 22, 1949, and then re-recorded and put out again on December 21, 1950. That second version also aired on December 20, 1951. It was re-recorded a third time and aired again on December 21, 1952. Versions also ran on December 20, 1955 and March 20, 1956.

The television version stars Jack Webb, Herbert Ellis, John Martin, June Whitley Taylor, Sammy Ogg, Virginia Christine, Renny McEvoy, and Olan Soule. This is a tragic, gutting Dragnet Christmas tale about a gift that goes awry for two families. It's well-written, gripping, and not funny at all. But it gets at the themes of loss and forgiveness and family far better than its sillier counterpart.

Listen to Áine and Kevin carol on about twenty dollar gold pieces, M*A*S*H, Áine's jealousy of Julie London, and Jack Webb's podcasting career.

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate, and happy holidays to you all!

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"Murder" is the twelfth episode of the fourth season of Night Court, a legal sitcom . The episode first aired on January 8, 1987. It starred Harry Anderson, Markie Post, John Larroquette, Charles Robinson, Richard Moll, and Marsha Warfield, with appearances from Florence Stanley, Bruce Kirby, and Alice Drummond in this episode.

Night Court focuses on the eccentric, nocturnal legal proceedings of the nerdy and eager Judge Harold "Harry" T. Stone. In this episode, the courtroom is thrown into disarray when an adorable little old lady confesses to cold-blooded murder.

Listen to Áine and Kevin file motions on Times Square, President Zachary Taylor's death, and comedic bits too dated for the #MeToo era.

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Trial & Error is a television mockumentary-style sitcom, and the show's second and final season aired from July 19 to August 23, 2018. It starred Nicholas D'Agosto, Jayma Mays, Steven Boyer, Sherri Shepherd, Amanda Payton, and Kristin Chenoweth.

In this run of 23 episodes, we return to the quirky — and borderline dystopian — town of East Peck, where naive criminal defense attorney Josh Segal has gotten in over his head with a new client, a sunny and sinister socialite played by Kristin Chenoweth.

Listen to Áine and Kevin deliberate over Cabot Cove's murder rate, The Jinx, and the law of diminishing returns.

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Beverly Hills Buntz is a dramedy spin-off of Hill Street Blues, starring Dennis Franz as gruff and loveable corrupt-cop-turned-private-eye Norman Buntz. This is the second episode of the show's first and only season, and it aired on November 29, 1987.

This episode starred Franz as Butz, along with Peter Jurasik, Dana Wheeler-Nicholson, Grant Heslov, and Kurt Fuller. It's a retail-centric mystery, where Buntz and his sidekick go undercover at a high-end Beverly Hills clothier that's undergoing a fashion-forward crime wave.

Listen to Áine and Kevin steal away topics like Three's Company, patron and client relationships, bundt cakes, and Power Rangers.

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Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is a 2022 mystery film from director Rian Johnson and the sequel of the director's 2019 riff on Agatha Christie: Knives Out.

Like its predecessor, this movie features a star-studded cast, including Daniel Craig, Edward Norton, Janelle Monáe, Kathryn Hahn, Leslie Odom Jr., Kate Hudson, Dave Bautista, Jessica Henwick, Madelyn Cline, Noah Segman, Jackie Hoffman, and Dallas Roberts, along with cameos from Ethan Hawke, Hugh Grant, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Stephen Sondheim, Angela Lansbury, Natasha Lyonne, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Yo-Yo Ma, and Serena Williams.

In this sleuth-centric jaunt, Craig's genial Detective Benoit Blanc arrives on a billionaire's island as part of a weekend murder mystery romp. But once the game becomes too real, Blanc must puzzle out a killer lurking among the eccentric partygoers.

Listen to Áine and Kevin blow up topics like The Beatles, mystery vibes, and intellectual property law.

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"No Exit" is the seventh episode of Miami Vice's inaugural season, first airing on November 9, 1984. Miami Vice was a popular police procedural about Metro-Dade Police Department detectives who work in Miami, a city of stylish crimes. The show starred Don Johnson as the white blazer-donning James "Sonny" Crockett and Philip Michael Thomas as his partner Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs.

In this episode, Bruce Wills guest stars as an evil gunrunner who plans to sell dangerous missile launchers to the highest bidder. The Florida cops must contend with meddling federal agents and the criminal's much-abused wife as they try to put Willis away.

Eavesdrop on Áine and Kevin's conversation about old-time Broadway police procedurals, cliches, turtles, and Jean-Paul Sartre.

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Martha's Vineyard Mysteries: A Beautiful Place to Die is an original film from Hallmark Movies & Mysteries that first aired on January 12, 2020. It's the first in the Martha's Vineyard Mysteries series, based on a string of novels from Philip R. Craig .This film stars Jesse Metcalfe, Sarah Lind, Eric Kennleyside, Chelsea Hobbs, Sunita Prasad, Bradley Stryker, Naika Toussaint, and Kendall Cross.

Metcalfe plays retired detective Jeff Jackson, who retires to his late father's bungalow on Martha's Vineyard after sustaining a devastating wound in the line of fire. He teams up with beautiful, high-heel-loving Dr. Zee Madieras, who serves as a physician, substitute medical examiner, and the daughter of the local police chief. After a body washes up on the island, this duo dully digs for answers in what turns out to be a rather muted mystery.

Listen to Áine and Kevin sail around topics like Hallmarking franchises, our hometowns, and the history of Martha's Vineyard.

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