Influence is powerful. But how do you become influential? It seems like a far more difficult task, right? Sean Callagy—a successful attorney, speaker, entrepreneur, business coach, and the owner and President of Callagy Law—has mastered the art of influence. 

Sean has developed a four-step formula to master ethical influence. In this throwback episode of Negotiations Ninja, Sean drives home the idea that influence begins with building emotional rapport. He states that “You have to move beyond surface-level rapport and create an emotional connection with strong two-way communication and value exchange.”

Learn exactly what that means in episode #366 of the Negotiations Ninja podcast.

Humans are primarily emotional. We bring fears into our negotiations. If we push too hard, we might get nothing. If we antagonize the other party, they might retaliate. We also worry about damaging relationships. The whole negotiation process is emotional. And when you get emotional, your ability to do what you know you should do decreases.

Two years ago, Moshe Cohen published “Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous.” The term “Collywobbles” means the kind of stomachache you get when doing something that makes you anxious. His book looks to address an issue people are taught how to do, but when they have to do it, they choke. Something happens between theory and execution. Usually, they get nervous or anxious. 

So what do you do when you feel like your emotions are taking over? Moshe shares some strategies in this episode of Negotiations Ninja.

• [1:43] Learn more about Moshe Cohen
• [3:24] Why most people get collywobbles
• [4:25] Where does fear stem from?
• [5:49] Competitive and cooperative negotiation styles
• [7:06] The pitfalls that impact negotiations
• [9:00] Stop your false perceptions in their tracks
• [13:37] Why managing moments is critical
• [16:45] Physical health is often overlooked
• [18:23] Pay attention to physical signals
• [20:45] What Moshe learned from his background

• The Negotiating Table
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Michael van Keulen (MVK) has worked in procurement and finance for over 20 years. Over those years he’s seen companies resist digital transformation. The key to a digital transformation is getting the internal stakeholders on board. To do that, procurement leaders have to step up and oftentimes put their jobs on the line. How do they avoid losing their jobs while pushing their companies toward digital transformation? MVK shares what he’s learned from decades in the industry in this throwback episode of Negotiations Ninja.

When people think of negotiation—especially in Western cultures—they often think in finite terms. In a finite game, the rules are fixed until there’s a winner. In an infinite game, the rules change during play. It’s done so to bring as many people as possible into the play. The purpose of the infinite game is that things aren’t just about transactions or deals but revolve around a higher purpose.

How does this apply to negotiation? It’s about the relationship you develop with the people you’re negotiating with. The higher purpose isn’t a singular deal. Your next best customer is continuing to do business with the current one. When you’re thinking in infinite game terms, that’s the angle you take. 

In this episode of Negotiations Ninja, Dr. Joshua Weiss shares more about how to embrace the infinite mindset in negotiation. Once you do, it changes the way you view everything. Listen to the episode to find out why!

• [2:24] Learn more about Josh Weiss
• [4:09] What is the infinite mindset?
• [7:50] Is there room for both mindsets?
• [9:30] Is there resolution in an infinite game?
• [14:25] Improving your adaptability in a negotiation
• [17:50] Three ways to measure adaptability
• [29:27] Check out Josh’s children’s books

• Dr. McFiddle’s Brilliant Book of Creative Conflict Potions and Other Magical Things
• Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse
• The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek
• The Art of Negotiation by Michael Wheeler
• Good to Great by Jim Collins
• 3 Ways to Measure Your Adaptability

• The Book of Real-World Negotiations: Successful Strategies From Business, Government, and Daily Life
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Why does the limitation of liability clause exist? How does it work? Is there a way you can simplify the process of building it out in the negotiation? Contract and negotiation expert Jeanette Nyden shares her extensive knowledge of limitation of liability clauses in this throwback episode of the Negotiations Ninja podcast!

George Siedel—a Professor at the University of Michigan—wrote a great book called, “Negotiating for Success: Essential Strategies and Skills,” in which he shares the importance of planning. He believes so strongly in planning that he gives away numerous negotiation planning tools for free. 

In this episode of Negotiations Ninja, we cover planning in negotiation, the 4th and 5th key numbers for financial consideration, and how to understand and consider life goals when it comes to dispute resolution. George shares a shocking story at the end of this episode that you can’t miss. 

• [2:05] Learn more about Professor George Siedel
• [3:55] How should we plan for a negotiation?
• [8:17] Is negotiation required in all circumstances?
• [10:47] The five key numbers in a financial negotiation 
• [13:49] Why you need to prioritize your BATNA
• [16:25] Is overconfidence detrimental to a negotiation?
• [18:49] Considering your life goals

• FREE Negotiation Planning Tools
• Negotiating for Success: Essential Strategies and Skills

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Jean-Nicolas Reyt—a negotiation professor at McGill University—teaches his students a simple and practical way to negotiate: Ask and you’ll receive. If you don’t ask, you won’t get what you want. But why do so many students struggle to ask? Why do they decide they’re satisfied with a subpar deal? Jean-Nicolas dissects the phenomenon of compliance in this throwback episode of Negotiations Ninja.

What does it cost people and organizations not to listen? Are you solving the wrong problems? Or worse, are you losing relationships, customers, and potential opportunities? The cost of not listening could cripple you and your organization. Christine Miles joins me in this episode of Negotiations Ninja to address that very problem. 

Christine Miles is the founder and CEO of EQuipt, a “Training and consulting company that helps organizations grow sales, develop people, and create cultures of understanding.” Ultimately, they help equip people with the skills they need to elevate their EQ. Listening is the foundation of the house. Without it, you can’t build emotional intelligence. 

• [1:45] Learn more about Christine Miles
• [2:35] The cost of not listening
• [4:00] Are you solving the wrong problems? 
• [5:38] Why people struggle to listen
• [7:08] What is transformational listening? 
• [9:10] How to become present in listening
• [12:30] Stop asking leading questions
• [14:02] “Take me back to the beginning”
• [18:31] The unwillingness to go deeper 

• What Is It Costing You Not To Listen: The Power of Understanding to Connect, Influence, Solve & Sell

• EQuipt
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Why do young people hesitate to negotiate? They need to be able to advocate for themselves, yet many hesitate to speak up. Jean-Nicolas Reyt, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at McGill University, is passionate about helping students become assertive. He teaches that the end result of negotiating is almost always better than not trying. Jean-Nicolas is chock full of advice that everyone can use to become better negotiators. 

How important is relationship-building in negotiations? Can you have a relationship yet still be direct without negatively impacting said relationship? Romina Muhametaj—A Sales Manager and Consultant—believes that relationship-building is the key to moving one’s career forward and closing more sales. She shares why in this episode of Negotiations Ninja! 

• [1:35] Learn more about Romina Muhametaj
• [2:31] Building relationships before negotiating 
• [4:09] Apples, oranges, and coconuts
• [6:40] Can you be direct in a relationship?
• [8:11] Why you can’t use the same tactics in every deal
• [10:00] What happens once the deal is sealed? 
• [13:17] Why you need to overcome your emotions

• Connect with Romina
• Coffee with Romina
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