Nerd Post

Vile Jabba the Hutt, a second Death Star in 1/19th of the time, Jer-Jared,  walking through the Tunisian desert (again), is that droid being drawn and quartered? Lando is in Tobias Beckett's costume, Han looks like he's on a two day hangover, props for being able to wheel and deal, slave Leia, Chewbacca is spooning Han, Bib Fortuna gets Jedi mind tricked, and Luke is dropped into a Rancor pit. 

Who's your favorite character, he's a strange tiny little man, Darth Vader and Luke duel, Spongebob is G.O.A.T. (not), "normally I'd agree with you, but..." Cloud city has handrails, it's someone else's hand right? "No, I am your father", and how the reveal actually went. Misquotes are fine, Luke nopes on out of there, just hold yourself there my guy you're so dramatic, Lando's actually the architect, free for all kisses, s-o-d-a soda, our PG-13 and Deadpool segments.

A mailman is violently shaking a stall door, E Chuta is a slur, Dagobah is Taco Bar, Obi-Wan is hiding behind a tree and popping out, and lying to Luke when it's convenient. It's ok, when this one dies I'll get to train the one I want to, Ugnaughts are present, Norman Rockwell painting, Han sucker punches Lando, Lobot is Echo, are cats marsupials?

Chewbaaaca, not everything needs a backstory, Yoda would have rather trained Leia. Boy, you're not that smart but you are hard to kill. What would have happened if Luke had died on Hoth, Lando calls Leia "Layer", the Chosen One is a recurring theme, I'll just make him stand his head. 

Heidi recaps her experience in an airport, how is a rogue squadron ranked, lots of first person crashes, how to take an AT-AT out, and Gibby's stunt double actually bounces. Vader flies on hate and anger alone, Cody Naruto runs with his Vader helmet on. We make it off Hoth and onto Dagobah, Leia flies thorough space for sure, R2 is spitting up with anxiety, and Yoda is hitting R2 with a stick. Search your feelings, you know it to be true...

What's a zeitgeist, Han is riding his Tauntaun and cracking his whip, we need duct tape for C3PO, what did they use for those intestines? Pole to pole or hole to hole but never pole to hole, I'm not gonna lay down until Jabba goes back in the hut. What happens in a Tauntaun stays in a Tauntaun. If you had the chance to kiss your sister, would ya?

Heidi has a twitch, Darth Vader drives a tide pod, sister simp, bring Owen Wilson into all our nerddoms. Daft Punk is Vader's wingman, "now this is podracing". Beggars canyon has no context, and Vader shoots R-2 (?!?) Explosions are fireworks, and we wrap up our first original movie recap. Join us for our first Deadpool segment.

We continue to recap A New Hope, covering what happens in the Death Star. Obi-Wan is ping-ponging through the Death Star, Deadpool shows up, droids escape super easily because storm troopers are super easy to trick. Heidi takes a drink for every SpongeBob reference, I will cut all 4 of your limbs off, just ask your grandmaster. Vader kicks at a pile of robes.

Luke orders alcohol like a child, I don't trust anything that Han says, the falcon is a piece of garbage. Leia is extra salty, Luke is at the level of a force-sensitive 4 year old, and Chewie rips off arms. That's no moon!

We continue our recap of A New Hope. Cody opens in a Darth Vader helmet, we compare Krayt Dragon calls, Heidi thinks shirtless Ewan McGregor listening to Enya is super hot, but Obi Wan loses his mind in the desert. Your father died medium rare, nobody's gonna watch this; 40 years to explain all this BS.