New Beginnings CounsellingBW

Worrying about the past , present or future will not alter the situation; but may very well alter your mental health and physical well-being. 

“there is no health without mental health” - Stop worrying, it solves nothing.

# Physiological responses to worry

#Emotionally caused diseases

#Psychosomatic ailments; Diseases, sicknesses, illness.

# Diabetes, Rheumatism, Arthritis, heart conditions, elevated blood pressure, skin disorders etc 

# Notice when you are in a  worry drive; is it about the past? What will dwelling on it change?, can it delete, erase or change your past, your present or your future.

Avoid focusing on closed doors of your past; you’ll miss open doors of your present and future ( Wyllie,T.M, 2024; Botshelo, T,M, 2014). 

# Develop healthy coping strategies

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#Fascinating book by Dale Carnegie:”How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. It’s worth reading. Try it!

-  Is your job weighing you down?.

   If you were to change jobs what will you change  into?.

     What are the challenges of transitioning from what you are doing now to the option you may be considering?.

     Do you have what it takes?.

     What has to happen for the change to take place?.

      Do you have the passion, talent, skills and additional competencies to find a niche there?.

      We are still reading the book by Dale Carnegie: "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living".

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"Everyday is a New Beginning "

We continue reading Dale Carnegie’s book: “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. 

#worry is counter productive

#does your worrying change the situation?

#whats the worst that could possibly happen?

#as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”

#you are what you think

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From Dale Carnegie’s book : “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”.

- Does worry change your situation?

- Does spending sleepless nights thinking about the problem make it disappear?

- Do you find solutions  by worrying?

- Ask yourself: “what’s the worst that could happen?”.

- Have you considered acknowledging the problem, noticing your thoughts and  emotions , getting enough sleep, exercising, and mindfulness,  then moving into rational problem solving? 

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#thoughts

#emotions

#behaviour

#interlinked

#notice your thoughts

#notice the link between  your thoughts and your emotions

#notice the influence of your thoughts and emotions on your actions/behaviour

#notice how your negative actions/behavior influence your thoughts, emotions and eventually your Behaviour creating a cycle of negativity.

#notice how your distorted thoughts influence your emotions and how you treat , talk to or behave towards  your partner/children which result in conflict  or them not being unable to love you back.

#notice your tendencies to over think/rumination

#notice when your actions are based on anger or impulsivity ; only to end up with regrets. 

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#Are you avoidant?

#What scares you in a relationship?

#What are the strengths of your relationship?

#What needs changing in the relationship?

#Never try changing the person: change perceptions, expectations and examine what you have in common

#when there is conflict do you prefer shutting down than talking? That’s stonewalling  (sulking).  

When you do that, how is your partner impacted and does that resolve the issue or escalate emotions?

Do you tend to need closeness or distance in the relationship?

Do you feel suffocated by closeness in relationships?

When your relationships end do you downplay or minimize  its importance?

Or When your relationship ends do you fall apart?

Are you always fearful in a relationship; scared that it may end and you may be abandoned,  and because of those fears, do you tend to monitor your partner , become insecure, aggressive, controlling, violent or jealous?

How are your anxieties, controlling or dismissive Behavioural  tendencies affecting the relationship? 

If your partner treated you the way you treat them, will you be happy in the relationship? 

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"Everyday is a New Beginning "

• Self-awareness:  involves emotional self-understanding, emotional self-expression, self-acceptance, awareness of how your emotions impact others, and how you get impacted by other people's emotions, actions and behaviours as well.

# Your ability to effectively manage conflict, anger, and stress. 

#Self-awareness is all about the awareness of your strengths and limitations.

Therefore, it's important for us to notice, to learn, and to let go of self-limiting stories regarding who we are, in order to live meaningful and fulfilled lives. 

#We are not the negative stories we grew up being told, that we internalized, believed and continue to tell ourselves. We are completely different from that.

#There are lessons, however, to learn about ourselves. If you are interested in going on this journey of inner introspection, reflection, and inner journey of your inner self, lessons to learn about the self is to look at :

- Who are you really? 

- Who are you when you are alone?
- Who are you when you are with friends?    

- Who are you among strangers? 

- Who are you in your family or with your family?
- Who would you say you are at church, at work, among your colleagues, among strangers, people you don't know …..?

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Our early childhood’s emotional and physical environment influences  our adult life and how we end up experiencing relationships. Are you secure?

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                     WHAT CAN WE  DO 

#unhealthy Relationship 

#toxicity

#toxic relationships 

#emotionally overwhelming 

#draining

#demeaning

#abusive

#belittling

#hurting

#genderbasedviolence

#violence

#aggressive

#quit

#toxic-environment 

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#To those who have subscribed by clicking “follow”; THANK  YOU so much; it means a lot to us.

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"Everyday is a New Beginning "

🌿 The Silent Wound: Growing Up Without a Father 🌿 

        Written By Rittah Mmonadibe , 

        Edited by Dr T.M Wyllie 

#Absentfathers

#absentdaddies

#absent Dads

#absent

#father

       Looking at social media this past Sunday was heartbreaking. While we celebrated daddies with love and laughter, it was evident that Father’s Day is a painful trigger for some.

     For those who grew up without a present or supportive father, father’s day can open old wounds. It may become a reminder of what was missed and continue to be missed; daddy’s warm  hugs that never came, the comforting words never spoken, the presence that was never felt. An absent father leaves behind more than silence. He leaves questions, emotional scars, and sometimes a lifelong search for identity and desire for a sense of belonging.

       Not forgetting single mothers, who carry both the heavy weight of being a mother and a father to provide a  nurturing and protective environment whilst having to wipe away tears of their children and  at the same time often having to hide their own hurts.  To these mothers, Father’s Day can be a reminder of the load they have to carry alone, sacrifices they have to make, and of the emotional labour that often goes unseen or an appreciated. 

   New Beginnings Counselling Centre counsellors understand the deep emotional pain in this situation and believe that ruptures can be repaired and relationships healed. We are available to help.

    To anyone who found Father’s Day triggering and challenging to navigate; your feelings are valid, your  pain is real and  healing is possible.

💚Talk to someone.

💚 You are not alone.

💚You are worthy of love and healing.

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"Everyday is a New Beginning "