New Ways New You ( Tendrils of Grief- Life After Grief)

Susan, your host, welcomes Sherrie Barch to today's episode. Sherry is the CEO of two Forbes-ranked top executive search firms and a leadership consulting company.

Sherrie is married with three sons. As a mom, she describes herself as a part-time pancreas for her two youngest sons who were both diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes within the same year. Playing this role for the last 12 years, she is relentlessly creating open and honest communication with her family and friends about this chronic and life-threatening condition.

Sherrie's passion for storytelling was a strong motivation for her to publish her preteen children's book Heaven's Bell. One of her goals for Heaven's Bell is to create and inspire a safe space for families to have serious and sometimes "heavy" conversations about death and dying in a natural and productive way.

Key Takeaways:

• Sherrie shares the motivation behind her book Heaven's Bell.
• Sherrie talks about the structure and message of the book.
• Peace and grief can be experienced together.
• Susan talks about what is necessary in order to process negative emotions.
• Children and adults grieve differently.
• Everyone grieves in their own way.
• Give permission to yourself to ask questions and create the space for others to start conversations about loved ones who passed away.
• Sherrie shares the pain of losing her father figure.
• Susan talks about how her daughter's school failed her terribly when she was grieving the loss of her father.
• Sherrie speaks about remote goodbyes.
• Celebrating the memory of someone you lost is not always easy, be present, be curious, and hold space to just listen to what someone grieving is going through.
• Grieve and, when you can, try to recall the one (or ones) you lost in your happy memories together, try to lean into those stories and feel a different connection with them.
• Sherrie is publishing a Grief Journal for families to capture memories, you can find it at Ring to Remember.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Sherrie Barch

Email Sherrie at [email protected]

Follow Sherrie on Facebook and Instagram

Learn more about Heaven's Bell.

Susan welcomes Carol Fitzgerald to today's episode. Carol is a vibrant, passionate, fun-loving, young-spirited woman. Through coaching, searching, group settings, and the death of her husband, she learned three very important life lessons late in the game. She has longevity in her family background and since learning these lessons, she wants to live life to its absolute fullest with no regrets and offers ideas in her sixth book Living a Vibrant Life At Any Age: Creating Love, Joy, & Connections in Everyday Moments, including shifting a mindset where everything is neutral and being okay when things don't work out as planned.

Key Takeaways:

• Carol shares her grief story that began when she lost her husband who had battled with his health for over three years, which included going through 16 surgeries.
• Carol explains how she lost her husband before actually losing him.
• Carol shares how she struggled to take care of her husband's business.
• Carol shares how she redefined herself after her husband and mother died.
• Carol expresses how happy and accomplished she felt when she first invested in gold and silver by herself, and a whole new learning curve in her life began.
• Carol shares how she got herself out of the deepest place of grief to figure out her life.
• Carol shares how much she needed some time away when her husband was ill and how her friends were amazing support in helping her have those moments for herself.
• Allow yourself to grieve in the way that is right for you.
• Carol talks about her book Living a Vibrant Life at Any Age.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Carol Fitzgerald

Follow Carol on her YouTube Channel

Check Carol's books.

Susan, your host, welcomes a recurring guest to today's episode, Allison Perkins. Allison lives in Cleveland, Ohio, with her husband and two sons. She is a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP), currently working with children with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders), and has also worked with adults in Skilled Nursing Facilities. Though professionally she is an SLP, she has always been passionate about writing. She has her own personal blog, HeartSoulStomach, which was created after her mother died in 2013. The blog began as a way for Allison to replicate her mom's recipes and talk about the entire process, though it has evolved into more than just food — namely, her struggles (and victories) with Endometriosis, grieving her parents, and life, in general.

Key Takeaways:

• Allison shares how her grief about the loss of her parents was re-edited when her second son was born; grief has no due date.
• Allison shares how the death of her parents was "the elephant in the room."
• Allison talks about the huge milestones of her grief journey.
• Allison realized one day that she no longer had a mom who could help her be a mom.
• "Sundays at Grandma's" is a book that Allison and her family used to write every Sunday when the family got together. Allison had lost track of that book for four years and "miraculously" found it on Mother's Day.
• Allison shares the precious moment when her 2-year-old son asked about his grandparents' pictures that had always been exposed in the same area of the house, Allison realized she had never talked to her son about them, and the conversation turned out to be heartwarming and emotionally impacting.
• Allison expresses how much would she love to have her mom close to her to be part of their children's childhood.
• Susan and Allison talk about how they wish their loved ones who passed were there to share the everyday struggles that were often underappreciated when they were alive.
• Allison talks about how she honors her mother and dad.
• Allison shares her learned lessons in her grief journey:
• • Grief does not go away but how you approach it changes.
  • Your feelings are always OK.
  • It is OK to ask others for help.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Allison Perkins

Check Allison's blog HeartSoulStomach

Susan, your host, welcomes Shirley Thiessen to today's episode. Shirley states that grief is our common human experience, and yet, we live in a death-denying, grief-avoidant society. Most people don't know what is helpful to say or do in support of someone who is grieving, often, it feels awkward.

Shirley was one of those people who felt uncertain about how to express empathy to people suffering a devastating loss. Then abruptly, grief ambushed Shirley's family.

Twelve days after her son's wedding, Shirley was thrown into the unimaginable task of planning his funeral. Grief threatened to destroy her. Hope and resiliency gradually emerged with the caring support of courageous friends.

Inspired by the kindness of others, Shirley wrote, The Little Black Funeral Dress – Five Things I Wish I Had Known About Grief to pay it forward.

Shirley and her husband, founded a non-profit grief ministry, CornerBend. Shirley coaches with simple concepts to fuel connection, build trust, and lend hope by expressing empathy to the bereaved. No one should grieve alone.

Key Takeaways:

• Shirley shares her grief story which began in 2012.
• There is a fog about grief that slowly lifts as the weeks and the months go by.
• Shirley speaks about how at the beginning she was fixated on everything she lost, that she couldn't see anything positive. Sadness clouded everything.
• Your feelings are inevitable but how you respond to them can become a choice.
• When grieving, you need those people who you can be totally vulnerable with.
• Shirley shares how she wants to help build "hope heroes"; people who can express empathy and can be by the side of a grieving friend.
• There is no timeline for grieving.
• Shirley shares tips about how to show up for someone who is grieving.
• Shirley speaks about the course she gives to form hope heroes.
• Message to grievers: You can recycle your pain for good purpose.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Shirley Thiessen

Visit Shirley's Website

Learn more about Corner Bend

Join Corner Bend on Facebook

Susan, your host, decided to receive a special guest for today's episode, Avery Thatcher, who is the CEO and founder of the Inner Stillness Outer Chaos Podcast and the Flow State Membership. When she started her career as a Registered Nurse working in the ICU, she noticed that the majority of the reasons people found themselves in the ICU were because of illnesses and diseases that could be linked to chronic stress. She decided to get out of the reactive side of medicine and now helps highly sensitive high achievers prevent burnout and reverse the negative health effects of stress.

After experiencing a significant change in health in 2018, Avery had to learn to redefine her identity and grieve the loss of who she used to be. Now she shares her story openly to help others realize that they are not alone in their struggles and talk about the strategies that helped her heal along the way.

Key Takeaways:

• Avery shares how a health problem transformed her life and led her to grieve the life she used to have.
• Avery shares how she got to the point of releasing who she used to be and accepting who she had become.
• What do you no longer identify with?
• Your grieving path is unique; there is no normal way of grieving.
• Avery explains what "What if" affirmations are and how they help to hold space for yourself.
• Seeing emotions as information rather than positive or negative can be really impactful.
• Grief is the last form of love you can give to the person you lost.
• Avery shares the steps she took in her transformational process.
• Avery shares how the self-compassion script works.
• As a society, we reward high achievement but Avery redefines the concept.
• It is OK to voice your feelings.
• Slow down until you can hear your thoughts and the wisdom of your body and feelings.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Avery Thatcher

Visit Avery's Website: Becoming Avery

Follow Avery on Instagram

Susan, your host, welcomes Veronica Bratcher to today's episode. Veronica is a licensed mental health therapist and transformation coach, specializing in grief and trauma. She helps parents and professionals facing anxiety and mending broken hearts understand their own experience of loss so that they can find healing and deeper, fulfilling relationships with themselves and others in their life. She demystifies the healing process of bringing body and mind together through individual work as well as releasing an upcoming Grief support book titled Missing Pieces Matter set to be released on May 27, 2022. She also serves as a clinical director and treatment creator for an upcoming residential treatment program for teen girls with a personalized approach to addressing attachment, loss, and trauma.

In this episode, Veronica shares her grief story that started when her 15-year-old adoptive daughter was murdered. She openly talks about the shame, fear, and guilt as well as the strength that kept her seeking healing until one day after she decided to begin helping others in their grief journeys.

Key Takeaways:

• Veronica shares her grief story that began 10 years ago when her older daughter was found dead.
• Veronica shares how it has been to grieve her daughter after she was murdered.
• As an adoptive mom, Veronica felt the shame and guilt of failing to keep her daughter safe.
• Veronica realized through hypnotherapy that she felt stuck as a result of thinking she needed to be a perfect mom after her daughter was murdered.
• Veronica was not willing to lose anything else; her stubbornness kept her strong.
• Veronica reached a point when she needed to identify what was under her control for the sake of her mental health.
• Being vulnerable and open to the grieving process is crucial.
• Veronica shares how she moved from grieving to helping others in their grieving process.
• Feel your feelings, give yourself permission to feel.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Everything Is Here to Help You: A Loving Guide to Your Soul's Evolution, Matt Kahn

Missing Pieces Matter, by Veronica Bratcher

Meet Veronica Bratcher

Visit Veronica Bratcher's website

Susan, your host, welcomes you to another episode of The Tendrils of Grief Podcast, this time she is accompanied by Yolanda Copes-Stepney who is a founder, development producer, anti-racism and EDI educator, and podcaster. After gaining her degree in journalism, she went on to become a PR, events, and digital content specialist working for national and global brands.

In 2016 she founded Speak&Do, representing influencers, talent, and speakers. Yolanda considers herself an anti-racism activist and mental health advocate who strives to break down barriers and passionately challenges the status quo in the quest for equality and equity.

Today, Yolanda shares her grief story that started after she lost her grandmother and best friend, someone she "could not possibly love any more." Yolanda openly talks about a series of losses that changed her life completely and how she managed to allow herself to grieve and heal.

Key Takeaways:

• Yolanda shares her grief story that started in 2016 when her grandmother passed away.
• Yolanda shares the devastation she felt when she was gone.
• Nine people in Yolanda's family died within 20 months; every time she was processing a loss, another one happened.
• Yolanda and Susan talk about the several losses resulting from someone you love passing away.
• Susan shares about her prayer journal and how she had to teach herself to be more specific with her requests since they tend to manifest exactly how she framed them.
• Everything happens and it's up to us to find the meaning of it.
• Yolanda gained resilience as a consequence of all the work she did to heal and process all the losses in her family.
• Be aware of what you think and say, intentions are powerful.
• Life is going to keep moving whether you like it or not!
• Grief is like a scribble, messy and ugly, Yolanda shares an explanation of grief she once heard from a psychologist that exemplifies how grief is experienced.
• Many people think they are grieving incorrectly, but whatever you are doing is OK, don't force yourself to grieve in a specific way.
• When you are grieving, you lose friends but also gain others.

• There will be a day when it is going to hurt a little bit less, and that will be a great day! Keep this in mind: You will feel better.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Yolanda Copes-Stepney

Follow Yolanda on Instagram and LinkedIn

Susan is accompanied by Kathryn E. Nuñez in today's episode. Kathryn is the founder of The Social Selling Agency. She is a LinkedIn Marketing Expert and a Top Visibility Thought leader. She is an authority on sales and, has built a rapid-growing following of over 30,000 professionals.

Kathryn has a long grief story, that began when she was only 14 years old and is made of eight devastating losses. Kathryn learned to live and thrive while healing, and today she shares the tools that have helped her in this journey.

Key Takeaways:

• Kathryn shares her grief story made up of eight losses.
• The tools of mindset, meditation, journaling, self-love, and grace have kept Kathryn safe through her grief.
• Kathryn shares her words with people struggling with "Why me?" thoughts.
• Kathryn talks about how hypnosis has helped her in her healing process.
• Stop overdoing, healing often comes in quiet and restful moments.
• Pretending something didn't happen doesn't make it go away, numbness is not a solution.
• Kathryn shares how she embraced grace.
• The victim mentality doesn't help anyone; life needs to be celebrated.
• Be ready to redefine yourself and meet a newer version of yourself after loss.
• Kathryn encourages everyone grieving to redefine their stories and change that narrative in order to allow themselves to experience joy.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Kathryn E. Nuñez

Learn more about Kathryn E. Nuñez

25 Myths to Avoid on LinkedIn

Email [email protected]

Find Kathryn on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

Susan is accompanied to today's episode by the award-winning coach and speaker, Jane Duncan Rogers who says "I was devastated when my husband died – this was not in our plans! My greatest fear had come true, my life had completely changed, I was on my own again at age 54, too young to be an old widow, but too old to be a young one. However, little did I know that three years on I would be publishing a book called Gifted By Grief. How could I be gifted by this terrible loss? And yet I was – and that has led me directly to what I do now"

Jane's background of 25 years in the psychotherapeutic and training field has been perfect for the not-for-profit she now runs, Before I Go Solutions. Together with her team of trained End of Life Planning Facilitators, she offers products and programs to help people complete their end-of-life plans, something 90% say is essential. Still, only 14% actually do anything formal about it.

She lives in the north of Scotland, got married again in between lockdowns, and she and her new husband are building not only a new life but a new eco-house together.

Key Takeaways:

• Jane shares her grief story.
• Jane and her husband, diagnosed with terminal cancer, reached a point where they were grateful for the disease and the closeness in their relationship they achieved as a result.
• Jane describes how difficult, but also helpful, it was to answer a list of questions with her husband about certain decisions to be taken after his death.
• Jane shares how she found gifts in grieving which motivated her to write her book: Gifted by Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss, and Rebirth.
• Jane talks about end-of-life planning and what are the most important things people should know.
• Jane points out the importance of taking care of secrets in advance and making a conscious choice about how you want your loved ones to find out about them after you passed.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Jane Duncan Rogers

Jane Duncan Rogers on Facebook

Jane Duncan Rogers on LinkedIn

Before I Go Solutions on Facebook and Twitter

Gifted By Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss, and Rebirth, by Jane Duncan Rogers

With Amy Warner, Regional Director for Club Pilates

It’s no secret that the key to staying fit and in good health involves moving our bodies each day. When we intentionally move in ways that stretch and lengthen our muscles, we condition our bodies, by improving our posture and muscle tone. Not only is it good for us physically, but it gets those endorphins flowing which can also lift our mood and reduce stress. The most recent studies have shown that it may also improve our mental focus and concentration. Exercising our body may also exercise our mind.

But which exercise programs are best for us? One of the things to look for in a daily workout is a full-body, low-impact routine that won’t strain your muscles or cause injury. Placing undue stress on your joints is not only painful, but it could prevent you from exercising for a few days until you can move again without pain. You’ll also want a workout that can stabilize your core and improve your balance. That’s why Pilates has consistently been rated one of the best overall fitness and conditioning programs. A good Pilates workout provides strength, flexibility, and balance training; the perfect mix to improve posture, mobility, and mental health.

My guest today is Amy Warner. She’s the Regional Director for Club Pilates, an equipment-based pilates studio with 7 locations throughout metro Detroit and Grand Rapids. We talk with Amy about the mind/body benefits associated with Pilates and learn why this is such a great fitness activity for optimum physical and mental conditioning.

What You’ll Hear on This Episode:

• What is Amy’s background and how did she get started with Pilates?

• What is Pilates and how is it different from yoga?

• What makes Pilates different from other forms of exercise?
• What are some of the benefits associated with a Pilates workout?
• Why is it so important to strengthen and stabilize our core?
• What is the reformer?
• How is the reformer more beneficial than mat Pilates?
• What is some of the other equipment that you provide at Club Pilates?
• What does a typical Club Pilates class look like?
• Is Pilates a “one size fits all” type of workout?
• Does Pilates help you lose weight?

Today’s Takeaway: Finding an activity or exercise routine you can commit to doing several days a week is not only good for you physically, but it’s also good for your mental and emotional health. You may find that you have more energy, sleep better, and feel less anxious or stressed. When stress hormones build up in your body, it can lead to muscle spasms and pain. But finding a way to effectively “channel that stress” through a physical workout, helps to release that build-up in a healthy manner. Taking part in an overall body conditioning class like Pilates may increase your body awareness and mental focus, which could improve your memory and concentration. In addition to strengthening your core and improving your posture, you may also find yourself breathing better. Remember that every day is a gift and the gift that we get from properly nourishing and moving our bodies will only serve to make us healthier and stronger. We’ll feel better physically, we’ll have fewer aches and pains, and our mental focus will be sharper. Best of all, when both our mind and body are in balance, it has a positive effect on our mood so we act better too! Remember to treat your body as a gift. Get moving! I’m Florine Mark and that’s “Today’s Takeaway.”

Quotes:

• “Pilates is a low-impact full-body workout that focuses on flexibility, strength, and body awareness through controlled movements.” — Amy
• “Always moving your body is a good thing.” — Amy
• You want to do what speaks to you and what you respond to so that you’re consistent and healthy.” — Amy
• “Pilates is all-inclusive; it’s always full-body, it’s always low-impact.” — Amy
• “It’s all-inclusive. Regardless of age or fitness level or injury we can actually help people be successful with their fitness routines.” — Amy
• “If we're not using those muscles on a regular basis, they become dormant.” — Amy
• “We can accommodate all ages and all fitness levels.” — Amy
• “Any time you're moving your body is a good thing.” — Amy
• “The nice thing about Pilates is how it increases your body awareness.” — Amy
• “When you're doing good things for your body, you do tend to put better things inside for fuel.” — Amy

Brought to You By:

Gardner White Furniture

Mentioned in This Episode:

Club Pilates