New Ways New You ( Tendrils of Grief- Life After Grief)

Susan, your host, welcomes Peg Conway to today's episode. Peg writes and practices healing touch therapy in Cincinnati, Ohio, where she also volunteers at The Children's Grief Center. Her essays about early mother loss and long-term grieving have appeared at The Manifestation, The Cincinnati Enquirer, and The Mighty. After earning a Master's in Journalism and working in Corporate Communications, she became a certified Childbirth Educator and Doula.

Peg is the author of The Art of Reassembly: A Memoir of Early Mother Loss and Aftergrief a memoir about early mother loss.

Key Takeaways:

• Peg shares her grief journey.
• Children grieve in different ways; their emotions can manifest through behaviors.
• Children's grief reoccurs in different stages of their life.
• Peg talks about the steps that she took in the process of reassembling herself.
• Susan shares the most challenging parts of her own grief journey.
• It can be confusing but during grief the clashing of emotions is real; you can host two conflicting feelings at the same time.
• People get uncomfortable in front of a grieving person; some just don't know what to say and others simply tend to be avoidant.
• As human beings with have the gift of renewal, we can reassemble ourselves in many aspects.
• Peg talks about Energy Healing and the benefits of being grounded and present in our bodies.
• Grief takes as long as it takes, it is a long and non-linear road.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Peg Conway

Visit Peg's Website

Follow Peg on Facebook and Instagram

The Art of Reassembly: A Memoir of Early Mother Loss and Aftergrief, by Peg Conway

Susan is accompanied to today's episode by Alyse Oram. Alyse's grief journey started in 2016 with the loss of a childhood friend, then her younger brother six months later. While processing her loss, she became aware of the limited resources available to sibling loss specifically and the discomfort she witnessed from others when discussing the topic. Alyse and her family created a local summer camp scholarship fund in honor of her late brother as a way of creating positivity from tragedy. While not an expert, Alyse hopes that by sharing her story of loss and grief, she can provide hope and support to others in similar situations. Alyse is in the development of her own podcast: Alyse Makes It Awkward, where she discusses uncomfortable topics with her own personal spin. Alyse Makes It Awkward will premiere in early 2022. Alyse lives in Maine with her boyfriend and their fur babies, Stella and Harlow.

Key Takeaways:

• Alyse shares her grief story.
• There is no right way to grief, whatever is a way to cope with your grief and loss it's OK.
• Surround yourself with the people who matter.
• Time numbs the pain a little bit.
• Alyse shares how grateful she was for spending the last days with her brother who passed away, even though a series of negative personal experiences took her there.
• People who are about to die somewhat know it.
• Alyse talks about how, along with her family, they started a summer camp scholarship fund in honor of her late brother, Nick.
• Find the way to honor the person you lost.
• If you want to feel better try doing something for someone else.
• Alyse shares her advice to people who are grieving: Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time.

Resources:

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Alyse Oram

The Nicholas Daniel Oram Scholarship on Facebook

NDO Scholarship on Instagram

Listen to Alyse Makes It Awkward Podcast

Laah Wallace is a writer and dreamer, a recovering social worker turned mushroom farmer and business consultant. Her personal and professional lives have been steeped in grief, each loss cumulative and heavy and left her floating and untethered after the loss of both parents and a sibling. As with the dynamism of loss and life, the grief waxes and wanes but is ever-present, now a welcome reminder of the collection of loves gained and loves transformed and the longing for a reconnection.

Laah is wildly passionate about earth offerings as a way to connect to our ancestors, our families, and each other. Childhood in a small, company town made an indelible splodge on the unfolding of her life, often peppered with periods of protest, hibernation, and nomadism. Her affair with the rise and lull of words began early, most assuredly bolstered by the condition of aphantasia--the inability to voluntarily make mental images. She enjoys turns of phrase, the blues, and lives for a gripping mystery.

Key Takeaways:

• Laah shares her grief story.
• In society we tend to praise people that hide their emotions, considering them as "strong".
• Usually, people don't know how to be empathetic with a grieving person.
• Laah and Susan talk about how different people grieve in different ways.
• Fear of mortality is often the cause for people denying the suffering involved in grieving.
• Death is inevitable but yet we don't teach people how to do it.
• Engage in relationships where grief and pain are topics of discussion.
• Groups are a great place to open up and hear yourself talking about your suffering, it has profound healing power.
• Don't compare yourself to another person grieving, each grieving journey is different.
• It is important to exercise our own self-control around other people's grief because it can come when we are not ready. We need to create our internal and external boundaries and hold our own boundaries. We need to be stable if we are going to support someone in his or her grieving journey.
• What is grief policing? Disagreeing about how someone is processing and experiencing grief.
• There is no normal in grieving, you can grieve in any way that feels good to you.
• We tend to idealize the "moving on" while grief always stays with us and becomes a part of who we are, there is no way of moving on from it.
• Grief is cumulative, each death sums up to the one that came before.
• Grieving can create an identity crisis, where you can doubt where your place in the world really is.
• Laah talks about mushroom micro and macro dosage and how it is revolutionizing the world of mental health. Experimenting with mushrooms and psychedelics can help to let go and let in, to connect, and to open the doors to spirituality.
• Lash recommends grieving people to be courageous and let their hearts break open and seek connection. Feel it, embrace it! Grief prepares us for our own deaths.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Laah Wallace

Connect with Laah on Linkedin

Email Laah at [email protected]

Michele Benyo is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, parent mentor, and founder of Good Grief Parenting, whose purpose is to support parents who are raising young bereaved siblings after child loss. Her mission is to be a voice for the youngest of grievers and to help parents nurture and understand the unique needs of children who have lost a sibling in early childhood.

When Michele's six-year-old son died of cancer, her daughter said, "Mommy, half of me is gone." She was just 3 1/2 years old. Even though Michele was teaching early childhood parenting classes and had a Master's in early childhood education, she didn't know how best to help her daughter. This inspired her to become the support she had needed most during that time so that parents like her wouldn't have to go it alone.

Michele has spent more than 20 years learning all she can about early childhood sibling loss, its lifelong impact on the surviving sibling, and how parents can help their bereaved child grow up whole and happy. Michele equips parents with tools to help their family heal after child loss, foster hope, and build resilience.

Key Takeaways:

• Michele shares her personal grief story.
• Michele talks about how she grieved a loved one and parented a child, all at the same time.
• Self-care is a priority, don't deny your own heartache and grief. Allow your children to see your grief.
• Our instinct as parents is to protect our children from pain, only to then realize that we cannot do it, but we can teach them how to walk through it. Foster conversations with your children about their feelings and to walk towards hope.
• Two conflicting emotions can live in the same space: Despair and hope, anger and love.
• We don't teach people about grief, that's the reason why many people do not know what to do with a grieving person, they simply don't have the tools.
• As a griever, you get to advocate for the fact that your reality as a family is different.
• Michele shares what Good Grief Parenting is about.
• Grief is a series of continuing bonds towards healing.
• People can also show up for grieving loved ones in beautiful ways.
• What are your own beliefs about grief? Lean towards the healthier ways to deal with grief.
• You can't have the perfect answer, just show up and care, ask: "Do you need something? Is there anything I could do for you right now?", give them a hug, and talk about the big elephant in the room: someone they love is no longer here.
• Michele shares tips to approach a child who is grieving: Use the words "died" and "death" when talking about the lost one. Ask them if they want to talk about them and share your feelings with them.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Michele Benyo

Get your free copy of the Good Grief Guide at Good Grief Parenting

Follow Michele Benyo on Linkedin

Susan welcomes Elizabeth Kipp to today's episode. Elizabeth is a Chronic Pain Specialist, Yoga-Informed Addiction Recovery Coach, Ancestral Clearing® Practitioner, Yoga and Meditation Teacher, and international best-selling author of The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing Power. She focuses on helping people realize the power of their inherent healing.

Elizabeth healed from over 40 years of chronic pain, including anxiety, panic attacks, and 32 years of addiction to prescribed medication. She now works to help others achieve the same healing that she experienced directly from the work she teaches. In addition, Elizabeth offers one-on-one and group sessions on stress and chronic pain management and addiction recovery, Ancestral Clearing®, trauma-informed yoga, and meditation. Find out more about Elizabeth on her website.

Key Takeaways:

• Elizabeth shares her grief story which is linked to her history of chronic pain.
• Elizabeth shares valuable information about how chronic pain affects our population.
• Learn not to judge your experiences.
• Elizabeth suffered several losses and she had no place for closure until all those pending matters came back for her to properly process.
• Every time we think and talk about the people we lost, they are back with us.
• Who you are is the staff that can never be taken away from you.
• Elizabeth shares pieces that she wrote about her grief experience.
• Let grief pass through you, change, mold you, and prove how love is embedded in you.
• Not one grief is like another.
• Getting perspective is so important, detaching from the physical plane and connecting to the spiritual one gives a different point of view.
• Elizabeth explains why her approach to grief and chronic pain is unique.
• Elizabeth shares three takeaways around grief: - Grief is Love, - It takes time to readjust, and - In the end, grief is a profound exaltation of our capacity for love.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Conquer Chronic Pain: An Innovative Mind-Body Approach, Dr. Peter Przekop

Meet Elizabeth Kipp

Reach out to Elizabeth on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube.

Susan, your host, welcomes Caroline Nadine Helsing to today's episode. She is an alumna of The University of Hawaii. She currently lives in Newport Beach, California with her husband and their dog, Daisy.

Unapologetic: Tales of the Original Party Crasher is her debut book and is the heartfelt story of a daughter processing the loss of her mother while she examines and celebrates her mother's story through clues and memories left behind, she weaves an entertaining account of a complicated, enigmatic woman who was equal parts, Holly Golightly, Auntie Mame, Mrs. Maisel, and dare we say, Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek. This funny and poignant memoir-biography follows the author's mother through life from crashing parties and hobnobbing with celebrities in NYC, to the crashing waves of Hawaii, and back full circle to the city she loved. Including all of the characters she met in between and the lessons she taught her daughter along the way, the book is a portrait of a life lived truly and unapologetically.

Key Takeaways:

• Caroline shares her grief story.
• To relive your experiences with loved ones who passed is a way of celebrating their lives.
• Caroline talks about how she started to write Unapologetic and how she felt the company of her mother all the time she was writing.
• It is all about faith, and if you believe in something, then that is your truth.
• Find an interruption to your grief, having distractions often ease the grief journey.
• Asking for signs and being open to receiving them is a way of staying present and focused on your surroundings.
• Everyone grieves differently.
• It is ok to not be ok, really feeling the feelings you are experiencing is how you are going to heal.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Caroline Nadine Helsing

Before delving into writing, Caroline began her varied career path as an international model and actress. Her work took her from Europe to Asia and all throughout the United States, where she appeared on countless covers and in over 60 commercials. Before she turned 30, she founded an internationally renowned pet products manufacturing company. After selling the company in 2013, she parlayed what she learned in front of the camera to her work behind the lens. Her photography credits are varied. Caroline was chosen by leading philanthropic organizations such as Doc in a Box 360 and Ayuda International to document their medical missions through her photography while traveling to remote areas of Mexico, Peru, as well as deep within the Amazon jungle. She was chosen as the photographer for the Newport Beach Host Town Committee for the 2015 Special Olympics, working with athletes, press, and city officials. Caroline has photographed Newport Beach business leaders and local political figures for the 2016 and 2017 campaigns. She's also worked as a freelance writer for the Orange County Register and the Newport Beach Independent. Caroline is an active member of the community and a former Rotarian with the Newport Beach Sunrise Rotary Club. Through her endeavors, she's received the Volunteer Leadership Award for 2016. Other Honors include 2012 Orange County Business Journal's Women in Business Nomination 2011 Orange County Business Journal's Excellence in Entrepreneurship Nomination.

Unapologetic: Tales of the Original Party Crasher (If you are a Kindle Unlimited member you can read the entire book for free!)

Visit Caroline's website at www.CarolineNadineHelsing.com

Follow Caroline Nadine Helsing on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and TikTok: @CarolineNadineHelsing

Amanda Farrat is the founder of Value Yourself Counseling, a certified emotional wellness counselor, Advanced EFT Practitioner, and professional speaker. Amanda has a prolonged history of education and experience in the mental health and wellness field and social services. She received her undergraduate degree in Family Science from Montana State University and later pursued a Master of Social Work. Amanda left the program to attend to her own needs after facing numerous difficult losses in a short span of time. Although her healing journey has not been easy, Amanda has gained the confidence and resilience to meet challenges head-on with compassion and curiosity. She uses her education, experience, skills, intuition, and passion to help other women make peace with their past, fall in love with their present, and get excited about their future.

Key Takeaways:

• Amanda shares her story of loss.
• Amanda went through a series of losses without having the proper time to grieve until her body said "no" and her health started to deteriorate.
• It is important to return to "life" after a loss but it is crucial to have a space of grace, peace, and forgiveness allowing people to have emotional and psychological safety for them to re-acclimate to the world.
• Pulling back from the world can be a reality when you are grieving.
• When grieving, doing something outside of yourself and for others can be liberating.
• Amanda shares how she learned to hold space for people who are grieving.
• Loss can become an opportunity to rebuild and reinvent.
• We are storytellers and when we have a loss our personal stories need to be rewritten.
• Have some grace and compassion with yourself, find your support system.
• Do nothing and let your higher power show you what you have to do next.
• Amanda teaches a quick trip when you feel tears coming out and you are somewhere when you don't want to be seen crying.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Amanda Ferrat

Value Yourself Counseling

Follow Value Yourself Counseling on Instagram and join the Facebook group

Dr. Kevin J. Payne joins Susan in today's episode. He is a scientist, entrepreneur, and author. He's spent 15 years as a professor and a decade as a startup founder and consulting data scientist. He had the life he loved shredded by decades battling multiple sclerosis. When he lost everything he cared about, he decided to rebuild his life by facing the fear of his uncooperative body in the air and becoming a skydiver. 600 jumps later (and counting), he is at home in the sky.

Born from a decade of research, Your Life Lived Well is his labor of love: a book, a podcast, a curriculum of classes, organizational services, and technology — they all support those whose lives have been touched by chronic illness: diagnosed, loved ones and caregivers, and medical, health & wellness, professionals. There's no one answer to living well, but Dr. Payne is committed to showing you the practical tools you can use to build the life you want. We may be sick, but we can still live well.

Key Takeaways:

• Tragedy in life teaches you how to appreciate life more profoundly.
• Dr. Payne shares his experience on grief living with multiple sclerosis.
• Our grief is always unique and it is about a loss and that forces us to rewrite our stories and identities.
• Dr. Payne compares grief to free falling.
• Dr. Payne shares how he reinvented himself after losing his "tribe".
• There is shame in a grieving person to recognize that at times they just want to die.
• Dr. Payne went back to sky diving, a real challenge that saved himself every time he jumped.
• Do what makes you feel alive.
• Dr. Payne carried his journey, shared it with others with the intention of easing theirs.
• Dr. Payne and Susan talk about the power of meditation.
• Show yourself some grace!
• You have to build a good and positive relationship with yourself.
• The identity we build is a big lie that we put over ourselves, we are not a unitary self!
• Dr. Payne shares tips to make a grieving person feel a little better.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Dr. Kevin J. Payne

Visit Your Life Lived Well and grab your free 100-page book preview, podcast links, webinars, and more.

Follow Dr. Payne on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Susan is joined in today's episode by Carmen De La Russe who is a self-independent writer who decided to embrace her mother's passing by writing poetry.

Carmen is 28 years young, one year ago her mother passed away from complications of COVID and she is still learning to cope with this huge loss day by day. Carmen decided to write away all her pain and published her very first poetry book Poesia en Los Labios which is dedicated to her dear mother, Aurora. This book contains poems about depression, anxiety, and love written in English and also in Spanish.

Key Takeaways:

• Carmen shares her loss story.
• Carmen's gut feeling kept pointing her in the direction that something was going to happen.
• How do people who have lost someone due to COVID feel about vaccination?
• Signs are a survival mechanism, but how do you know when something is a sign?
• Carmen talks about unusual ways in which she receives heart signs.
• Carmen shares her inspiration to write her poetry book and how she got it published.
• How did the death of Carmen's mother change her life?
• Grieving can turn you into a more compassionate person.
• Carmen shares a poem with the audience and suggests: Believe, have faith, ask for the sign you need and you will receive it!

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe, Laura Lynne Jackson

Meet Carmen De La Russe

Follow Carmen on her YouTube Channel

Susan welcomes you to a special New Year's episode of Tendrils of Grief Podcast. This is a solo episode, where Susan shares the tools that can help you make it through each day at this particular time of the year. Remember that it is ok not to be ok, and in your grief journey, there will be good and bad days. Listen to this episode and learn how to interrupt that deep grief for a moment, focus on something different, and find moments of peace in your life.

Key Takeaways:

• How do you show the world you are grieving? Just because you pull yourself together from the outside. does not mean that internally you are fine, life goes on, even when you are grieving.

Grief is always there, waiting under the surface. Susan shares ways in which you can interrupt grief:

• Find a quick diversion (call a friend, stand under the sun for a few minutes, get a drink of water).
• Breathwork (long deep breaths; inhale to the count of four, hold your breath the same time and then exhale, repeat 5 consecutive times)
• Take a shower, listen to music, or a podcast.
• Create a mantra for yourself ("I am safe", "I am going to be ok.", "I am loved")
• Spend time in nature.
• Start a gratitude journal.
• Acknowledge your emotions, give yourself permission to feel.
• Selfcare is crucial, do something that gives you joy.
• Refrain from negativity of any kind.
• Learn to set boundaries.
• Journaling is getting something out of your head and onto paper.
• Susan talks about her experience using a manifestation journal.
• "Rage on the page" followed by meditation practice.
• Prayer can be a form of meditation.
• Meditation is about being focused, present, and clearing space in your mind.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]