Night Classy

Kat may not be a strong medium but she still knows what the people want: a lesson on ouija boards! Much like the toy, it was a medium success. But we still have questions like, "What is your accent?" and "Are you wearing underwear?" Ouija gonna do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Next, Hayley reminds us of the hell Carl Tanzler put Elena Hoyos' corpse (and family) through. At least she got some hot beef tea before being blasted into outer space, because science. Happy

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Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley tells us about a man with a plan: Carl Tanzler. From childhood, Carl received visions of his future spouse and spent his adult life searching for her. But when he finally met the object of his obsession, she was dying of TB (Tuberculosis, not tight butthole) and her time on earth with him was short… But Carl could live with a little corpse stink. Then, if Kat had to read something horrible, you have to hear about it. We bring to you one of the most brutal and creepy murders in history: The Hinterkaifeck Killings. At least they didn't kill the dog, am I right?

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Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

This week Hayley teaches us about The Pollock Twins! They're the direct result of reincarnation and their parents not being able to keep their hands off each other, despite almost getting a divorce. We are convinced souls are recycled and these young ladies are pretty convincing. Next, Kat takes us to a scary place full of HOAs. Having a $1.3 mansion doesn't sound too bad until there's someone who calls themselves "The Watcher" involved. If you also consider yourself a sensitive daisy, you've been warned! This spooky tale is sure to wilt you.

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It's an animated ribbon! It's a quoof! It's ectoplasm! All are true for Kat's lesson on the mysterious, gelatinous substance coming out of all orifices remotely related to ghosts. Some call it egg whites and urine, others call it "soul substance" but at the end of the day you could probably just make ectoplasm at home tbh. Next, Hayley talks a lot about kale and its girth. Halloween was the OG romantic holiday and as previously stated, there were a lot of fruits and vegetables involved. And no, we are not f*cking with you. Good thing apples are so versatile #ThanksJohnnyAppleseed

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Happy Oktoberfest b*tches and welcome to our *loosely* themed episode! Hayley delights us with the tale of Peter, a feral child plucked from Germany's Black forest and raised by royalty. Peter was a wild boy, not a proper boy- and it showed. Next, Kat hits Oktoberfest on the nose with a lesson on beer. Beer making started as many as 10,000 years ago, and was a vital part of society. So much so, there were goddesses dedicated to its making, not limited to our current beer goddess: The St. Paulie Girl.

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If Johnny Appleseed has come up in your life a lot recently, you're not alone. And if you're a big fan of sacks, you're also not alone! For being raised by a tree, Johnny Appleseed has left quite a legacy as the creepy old man giving away sections of books. Oh, and planting trees! Next, we rejuvenate with a lesson on Drunk Tank Pink and get toxic with Paris Green. Even the guy who researched the calming effects of this shade of pink isn't positive how it works or how long it works but why not paint jail cells pink? The same cannot be said for Paris Green. We DO know the best way to get your daily dose of arsenic is by painting, wearing, or ingesting some Paris Green! So lesion us alone and get to listening.

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Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Lord Timothy Dexter was not a lord, but he was the Informer of Deer, a collector of giant statues, and the first in the East, the first in the West, and the greatest philosopher of the western world. In other words, he was a moron- possibly the biggest in history. Next, we learn about Catfish of the sports world Leeroy Jenkins. Sadly for him, his "high school" football team does not consist of Russel Wilson, Russel Wilson, and Russel Wilson, but he probably would insist otherwise.

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Death is a part of life and, coincidentally, this week's episode! Hayley teaches us about the Capuchin Catacombs of Palermo which attracts hoards of tourists thanks to its 8,000+ mummified corpses. The most famous of them being 2 year-old, Rosalia Lombardo, the blinking mummy. And we have the MRI scan to prove she's real! As real as Kim K's you-know-what. Next, Kat answers all of our burning questions about American squirrels like, "The American government used propaganda to persuade school children to do WHAT to squirrels?!" We had walkathons, these children had homicide... It was a different time.

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This week in the CIA think tank- AKA Night Classy, Kat lures us to a hotel room to look at crystals and talk about murder. Charles Sobhraj evaded the police countless times during his "Hippie Trail" murder spree, but ultimately it was mineral water that took him down. Next, Hayley dips her feet in the food industry and revisits an age old debate: Coke or Brad's Drink?

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Bama Rush TikTok has taken over the internet but not a single video mentions the secret not-so-secret society operating behind the scenes of University of Alabama's Greek life. Hayley clues us into all things "The Machine," except for why it tries so hard to control the Student Government Association… and what the student government is… and what it does... but you know it's bad when Bill Cosby shows up! Kat lifts the mood with a throwback lesson on the widely hated and widely loved band, Insane Clown Posse. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll realize the origin of children telling each other to spell "I cup" was just a misspelling of ICP. They should've named the band Joseph Squared anyway. But that won't stop the loyal juggalos, they go wherever Faygo.

Head over to our social media to check out our own ICP-inspired photoshoot as our latest alter egos, Kotton Kandy (Kat) and Cherry Pie (Hayley). Coming soon!

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Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021