Night Classy

Kat is a list bitch once again and teaches a lesson on the more interesting White House pets. Sunny and Bo are cute and all, but they're no Emily Spinach the snake. Then, Hayley begins her lesson by defining "infanticide" and "neonatalcide," and makes everyone sad by describing the custom of abandoning babies in "baby boxes." We added in a trigger warning, because- duh.

This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2020

Hide your wine, hide your cheese! Hayley teaches a lesson on the Great Fire of London and the subsequent atrocity of child chimney sweeps. Though the real lesson here is that rich people will always do anything to avoid paying taxes. Next, Kat brings up an old favorite: The Winchester Mystery House! Sarah Winchester may have been a little guy, but she liked a BIG house.

This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphiandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

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Kat gives Hayley and Alec homemade "gifts" before launching into a lesson on Victorian era hair wreaths and mourning rituals. Victorians were not just a little-sticious, they were A LOT-sticious. Next, Hayley covers the liger of note-taking: bullet journals, and the man who created them, Bullety McJournaly, no- Buletini Journalani.. Or was it really just Ryder Carroll?

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Hayley teaches about the "Day Disco Died;" the Chicago White Sox' promotional Disco Demolition Night. Cris cross! Everybody burn your records! Next, Kat makes dreams come true for every preteen girl back in 2009 with a crush on a boy with a bowl cut, by announcing that vampires are real! Though unfortunately not the ones described by literary genius: Stephanie Meyer.

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Kat heats things up like a hot pocket this week and covers the mysterious phenomenon that terrorized American diplomats in Cuba. Possible explanations include loud bugs, sonic weapons, Daddy Putin, and microwaves! Then, Hayley teaches a lesson on creative writing and dramatic monologues- no wait- sleep demons! Or as wet blankets call them, sleep paralysis. Fun fact about sleep demons- their penises are cold and they look like Pig Ed.

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This week we talk Star Wars- ever heard of it? Hayley takes us to a galaxy far far away in 2001, and covers the religion of Jediism. Next, Kat receives a package from daddy.. It's a bottle of vodka! And teaches a lesson on vodka, or as we like to call it- "second water." We are unsure if vodka was invented in Russia or Portland, the history is a little murky- just as a vodka night should be.

This episode is sponsored by BYLD Bar.

For 10% off your first order of BYLD Bar visit byldbar.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

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Kat is a witch bitch for sure and teaches a lesson on the Magic Resistance- the coalition of witches dedicated to taking down Donald Trump with a curse! Though one could argue Trump has already been cursed with a body (and face) that looks like Mr. Krabs without his shell. To perform this curse you will need something that encapsulates the essence of Trump, like an orange candle- though we recommend a petri dish of orange mold. Then, turn your ears on and your mouth down to zero while Hayley covers a possible catalyst for the Salem Witch Trials: ergotism! Basically a yeast infection.. But make it rye.

This episode is sponsored by BYLD Bar.

For 10% off your first order of BYLD Bar visit byldbar.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2020

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Happy October! This week, Kat and Hayley embraced the spirit of Halloween… in a Spirit Halloween and bought matching dirndls to celebrate an Oktoberfest-themed episode. Kat was a list bitch this episode and teaches all things interesting about Oktoberfest. All of our love to Auntie Anne's but Bavarian pretzels are much better. Then, Hayley interprets the Oktoberfest theme as loosely as possible by teaching a lesson on the mysterious disappearance of Ursula Herrmann, otherwise known as 'The Girl in the Box." Does driving a moped with a shovel make you guilty of a crime- or do bitches just be shovelin'?

This episode is sponsored by BYLD Bar.

For 10% off your first order of BYLD Bar visit byldbar.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

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Kat presents the curse of King Tut's tomb and his controversh daddy! There definitely was a curse unless you're a wet blanket who hates fun. Next, Hayley starts the party back in Egypt once again and teaches the history of Birthdays. You know work went into this research because she read the damn Bible AND researchgate.net. Lastly, Tommy defends his sexuality. Enjoy!

This episode is sponsored by BYLD Bar.

For 10% off your first order of BYLD Bar visit byldbar.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2020

In this episode, Hayley exposes Satan for what he really is- a plagiarizer! Then, dives deep into the McMartin Preschool trials and all the satanic-panic-serial-killer realness that precluded it. Did serial killers love the 70s or did the 70s just love serial killers?! Next, Kat spills rainbow-colored tea all over queen of the 90s, Lisa Frank, and the love triangle between Lisa, Proud Girl Rhonda, and the human equivalent to a pile of cocaine, gas station porn, and boner pills.

This episode is sponsored by BYLD Bar.

For 10% off your first order of BYLD Bar visit byldbar.com and enter the promo code NIGHTCLASSY.

Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2020