Trump demanded plans to take the Panama Canal by force, then he later threatened to take Canada and Greenland by force in front of the NATO chief, Musk shared a Tweet excusing Hitler and Stalin from their crimes against humanity, and Musk installed a TV in the White House so he can play video games.

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Trump calls Senator Schumer a Palestinian in an obvious effort to get him deported, Musk tries to buy a Wisconsin Supreme Court seat, Fox "reporter" Jesse Waters claims Canada threw the first punch, RFK Jr. says EVERYONE should get the measles, and we give you a partial list of words banned from federal documents for being "woke."

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Trump says boycotting Tesla is illegal, violently boycotting Tesla is terrorism, and Americans must support the Broligarch in Chief. All this while his Secretary of Energy says renewable energy is a quasi-religion and calls on more reliance on fossil fuels. The U.S. was also placed on the Human Rights Watch List, a dubious badge of honor, and the Department of Education staff will be locked out of their offices starting Wednesday.

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Monday Mayhem! Pete Hegseth says climate change is crap as climate disasters pillage the globe, Musk called Sen. Kelly a traitor for visiting Ukraine, with a measles outbreak going on, Texas' Lt. Gov. focuses on the priority: dropping New York from New York Strip because New York is too liberal, and Musk blames a cyberattack on Ukraine ten days after Hegseth ordered a stop to all Russia cyber planning.

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Trump threatens massive tariffs on Russia, but who's he kidding? The GOP reportedly asked Musk if they could vote on DOGE cuts... they asked a private citizen if they could vote. DOGE efforts to sell of federal property brought them to a CIA black site in Northern Virginia. Apparently, they thought black site was a DEI term.

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Trump thanked his crony Chief Justice John Roberts on a hot mic last night, then set Marco Rubio up as a patsy once this house of cards tumbles, anti-vaxxers are pissed at RFK Jr. for realizing measles fucking kills people, MAGA moves to murder Social Security and a bunch of its oldest supporters, and John Cena FINALLY turns heels just as his old boss readies to powerbomb the Department of Education.

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Boston starts an EV party by torching half a dozen Tesla charging stations, Trump's tariffs have gone into effect predictably tanking the American stock market, Canada retaliates and the trade war is on, shitheads in Texas are holding measles parties, and shitheads on the Supreme Court reduced restrictions on how much shit is allowed in our drinking water. All that and more on this entirely necessary edition of NNR.

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Trump announces his tariffs will go into effect tomorrow and the stock market takes a shit, Russian state media are openly celebrating Trump's loyalty to Putin, Musk, Trump, and Vance signal they want out of NATO and the United Nations, those tariffs that caused the market to falter are likely to crush American farmers, and the FA Cup of Darts kicks off in the thriving metropolis of Minehead, England.

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Trump and Vance bring out their inner grade school cafeteria bully, Russian state-owned media outlet TASS allowed access to the White House, and the U.S. now offers green cards in GOLD! And the Sec Def ordered the U.S. Cyber Command to stop their efforts against Russia.

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Trump says he doesn't believe he called Zelensky a dictator after definitely calling him a dictator, Musk agrees to an interview with Jon Stewart the timer until Musk backs out starts now, FBI Director Kash Patel wants to partner with the UFC so he can watch sweaty, jacked dudes in boxer shorts wrestle, and measles, AKA Patriot Polka Dots, hits Kentucky. All that and more, plus sports desk commentary.

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