No Empty Seats

The best advice I’ve ever been told: the last thing you’d ever want to do is make them feel bad about themselves.

Too easily are we fixated on how to fix a person or be a part of the solution. But we need to remember that a whopping majority of the time, we usually just want a shoulder to cry on and get things off our chest. What I’ve learned is the most important process is creating a safe space for them to know they’re not a bad person. When people don’t open up, they usually are holding lots of guilt or shame with what they are going through. Do whatever you can to remove any of that pressure from them:

“I appreciate you telling me all this man, it mustve been really hard…youre totally good dude, wait dont sweat it and we can figure it out together…wait everyone’s been there before, ive actually done that too.”

By creating that safe, non judgmental space, people are more likely to open up more candidly. Not only will they realize they don’t have to go through things alone, but an incredibly large weight will be lifted off their shoulders knowing they won’t be criticized. 

And even if they did something wrong, who are we to judge them as friends and loved ones! Even while saying these kind things, we are not absolving them from their faults — but we are showing all the support they deserve as a person we love. I’ve learned it is not my place to be the judge, jury, and executioner in these situations. 

someone is doing better because of you 💜 

Our story: from a post to national nonprofit

Episode 25 available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify

Many people don’t know how No Empty Seats truly started.

Back in 2021, I was really depressed and su***idal for a number of reasons. Seasonal affective disorder, clinical deficiencies, insurmountable pressures, and a lot of angst that I kind of always had growing up.

I vividly remember the first time I told someone I was struggling, and it was easily the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life. But from that, I learned two major lessons.

We're all going through something unspoken, and how relieving it was to realize I didn't need to go through it alone. 

Friends I haven’t spoken to in years told me: “It feels like you’re reading the words inside my head right now.” The realization kept growing.

On December 20th, 2021, I shared a 10 slide post talking about my deep depression. It was messy, emotional, raw, and too much for a 17 yo to overshare to his small hometown. But for the time being it was enough to keep me going because where we could rely on eachother. 

For better or for worse, I don’t remember too much of those memories. They come up from old pictures,  journal entries, and text messages. I try to embrace that side of me without opening up fresh wounds.

The IG slowly became a blog page for other people to share their stories. Then I started doing goofy stunts to spread NES. More people got involved and we started a club. More people got involved and we started a club. Before I knew it those very same people that reached out in 2021 started their own chapter at their own schools. 

I don’t really know what or where I would be without the NES community. But I do know that it has brought me closer to people with the biggest hearts in the world. This nonprofit has grown with me, and through it I’ve learned how to love myself unconditionally and grow as a team and push one another healthily. i’ll do a podcast episode about those thoughts someday. 

Take care of urself. this is kinda a lot but if theres one takeaway: do whatever it takes to get you through today. all the numb depression and seemingly endless anxiety will be a distant memory so soon. just keep finding the little pockets of things that you enjoy and look forward to

someones doing better because of you 💜 

Also special shoutout to sam dunn for being with me alongside everything.  He was with me when I wrote my first post and I talk to him almost everyday 6 years later. 

In this episode, I talk about a couple of years where I wasn't living up to the expectations I set for myself. For a little while, I became embarrassed of NES because it would remind me of my own failures or shortcomings. The outreach events I wasn't enjoying at the time felt soulless to me and I could feel my body rejecting something I was unhealthily forcing myself to do.

Treating yourself with the same love you would to others benefits you in many more ways than you think. I've learned that when it comes to a passion project, profession, or hobby, avoiding burnout also helps you become more proud of the work you are putting out into the world.

Talking about my experiences last Saturday during the Brown University shooting. Where I was, what it felt like, and the aftermath. 

Tragically, I have experienced a really terrible situation in 2022. And if there is any takeaway from this episode that I’ve learned from either of these, it is that grief and the times that follow tragedy are incredibly messy — but what is most important is that we respect each other’s spaces to be there for one another. 

Since Saturday, everything has blown up and everyone is feeling all types of emotions. SADNESS for all of the victims, friends, and families. URGENCY to do something to make sure no one else feels the same way our community has. RAGE at the authorities that couldn’t come in time or prevent this. NUMBNESS from the shock of the entire week. CONFUSION as to why people are moving on so quickly. OVERWHELM at all of the opinions and emotions people are feeling. GUILT that no one can be there for everyone during winter break. Even RELIEF that none of the victims were my closest friends. 

I have felt all of these reactions deeply in the past week. But that is OKAY. And we need to respect the spaces of those around us. All we have is each other, and we can’t let different reactions make us spiral even further. 

Thank you for listening, and as always someone is doing better because of you 💜 Keep going.

If you would like someone to reach out to you, fill out the link in our bio and someone will reach out at least once a week. 

Hey guys! On this episode, I talk about the importance of remembering that not every feeling is final. Your current state, no matter how overwhelming, ISNT your entire life, and you need to remind yourself that this too shall pass in the future.

However you are feeling in the past couple hours or days IS NOT how you’ve been feeling in the past months, years. It is such an important skill to be able to take a step back and appreciate how far you’ve come. You might not think you are doing a great job right now. But what you need to realize is your “normal” right now is your younger self’s dream. 

Anything stressing you out that might feel otherworldly or absolutely dreadful is not going to be the end of the world. And whatever you are going through will be a distant memory soon enough, just keep fighting through. 

You truly are doing a great job. I’m happy you’re here 💜 

Thanks for listening and I hope you have a great weekend!

Hi, as a freshman in college, I thought I’d reflect on my adjustment to college and how I’ve been focusing on me. I wanted to share that: It’s easy to feel lonely or like you’re falling behind in college, but with the right people you can focus on your growth.

Hey guys! In this episode, I talk about my recent struggles with re-implementing exercise into my life. Since coming to college, I have never found a good structure to prioritize my physical health, and honestly, I have forgotten how much better it can make you feel and change your life. Luckily, I have been running again in response to stress and also to clear my mind for these weekly podcasts! 

When you’re having a really hard time, turn your brain off and immediately go outside. Make it a non-negotiable and split-second response. Do whatever you need to get a sweat out, because it both physiologically and mentally will make you feel so much better. All you have to do is just trust the outcome more than your current emotions or state. Trust me, I fully know how hard it can be to get out of your head and actively pull yourself out of a rut. In fact, it might be a better thing to preach this at one of the most unhealthy points I’ve ever been in my life. I hate exercising just as much as you right now. But when I am having a hard time, I need to remind myself to turn off my brain and JUST GO. 

It doesn’t have to be perfect. Don’t worry about the pace, numbers, or quality. Just get the body moving and sweat your stress out, and you will thank yourself later. If not I will personally apologize to you.

Thanks for reading and listening! Someones doing better because of you 💜 

In this episode, we talk about the importance of sitting with your thoughts. It isn’t something that necessarily comes naturally, and often proves challenging when put in the context of our extremely busy and stressful lives.

For us, being able to sit alone with your thoughts—whether it be journaling or going for walks—is something essential that should be

practiced. The only way to make something easier is to keep it at, despite the challenges it presents. And maybe it isn’t meant to be easy. By reflecting on one’s experiences—both good and bad—we can better understand ourselves while also giving ourselves much needed rest.

Thank you for listening, and have a great Thanksgiving!

In this episode, I talk about the harmful effects of being in your own thoughts without any outside perspective for an extended period of time. When you spiral into these moods for long enough, these negative thoughts can start to feel like a reality and it can be really scary. You NEED to do everything in your power to go outside and get out of your head. Sometimes you don’t even need to talk or socialize to get out of your head!!!

I like to go on runs, walks or ANYTHING to get out of the house and be in the company of other people. I also like to gratitude journal and write down the daily blessings that have happened in my day. I like to talk to friends on a super low-stakes vibe and simply discuss what is going on in my life. My friends help me shift my perspective on my problems and always offer advice, reminding me I don’t need to go through things alone. And finally, I like to talk on this podcast to get out of my head. It has been one of the best forums for me to talk about all of my racing thoughts that I never felt I had a space for, now cleanly organizing them into a catalogue of my thoughts and episodes —  that help me and hopefully other people. 

You will realize how many people can help you and how much hope there is once you get your thoughts out. Find these spaces to express yourself.

Thanks for listening!

Hello everyone, my name is Samuel Andrade and I am a first-year here at Brown. In this episode, I reflect on my experiences so far in my first few months in college, mainly focusing on how the transition has affected aspects of myself, such as my identity. The transition to college is difficult for everyone, and has often had me wondering if I am doing something wrong. However, I believe it is truly important to understand that college is an experience for learning and growth and confusion is inevitable. At the end of the day, I believe it’s okay to not be completely sure of everything.