No Guarantees Show - 4th & Dirty

Happy Labor Day! Whatever the hell that means now. Anyway, we have a packed house tonight! Some old guests, some new guests and everything in between (idk whats in between). We're 0-60 in like 2 seconds tonight. To start off we talk about the best of 90s kids game show prizes. From that we move onto beans in a bag. Yes thats right, beans in a bag. Just listen. In the second segment we move into cobra talk. Have you heard the good news?! $50,000 bounty for the capture of the Orlando King Cobra! In the third segment we talk a bit about the Kim Davis controversy. To round it out we discuss proper neighbor etiquette. Tonight was a great time and thanks to everyone that came in! See you guys next week for show number 59! Music Featured in the Show: Midtown - Give It Up / Simple Plan - Boom / Dance Gavin Dance - We Own The Night / Ludacris - Money / Nothing But Thieves - Itch / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Zacks not here now so I'm gonna give this a go! Tonight was off the rails from the beginning. We started off with yelling at Jesse for getting us sick and missing last week's show. Who else get's high off cold pills? We do...get down with the sickness. The show then takes a turn into our deepest and darkest dreams. Are ghosts real? Probably...we won't risk it. Second segment goes back into some standard No Guarantees topics, how we would pick up dudes at a bar. Jeopardy...it's the question first. Jesse is back with his stupid stories and they're better than ever. (Maybe not...you can be the judge) Anyway Show #57 is in the books, take a listen and don't let us know what you think. See you next week! Music Featured in the Show: Jme - Man Don’t Care / Slaves - Drowning In My Addiction / Drag - Day Wave / The Struts - Could Have Been Me / The Wombats - Give Me A Try / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Unfortunately, Jesse was out sick this week. We wish him a big "get well soon". That being said, the show must go on! This week we have the one and only Pizza Piesenberg in studio with us! We recap the weekend of Lagunitas events and how Chris blew it a couple Stetson hotties. To counter his total debauchery we discuss the woman in Indiana who "married god". Then to completely counter that we talk a little bit about the Ashley Madison hack going on and how dumb you have to be to actually get caught. From there we keep the sexual talk going with the man with the six million dollar penis. Which if you're wondering will buy you 8 inches. We finish it out with a couple news stories, one being that Japan is sending hard liquor to their people in the ISS (which we fully support). To end it out we talk about Spain and their odd obsession with festivals involving animals. Which if you're an activist of any sort you won't want to hear. As always guys its been fun and we will see you next week for show #57! Music Featured in the Show: Run - Coin / Scavenger - A Static Lullaby / Young & Aspiring - Underoath / Soundtrack - Yellowcard / My Type - Saint Motel / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Tonights show was completely off the rails. No organization to it whatsoever. The first segment was literally just masturbation talk. 30 minutes of it, so enjoy! After the first break we reveal what TacoBell item each one of us we are as decided by BuzzFeed. After that its just a shit show of tangents. In the final segment we discuss our weekend. Not much different than any other, drink a lot, pass out, get up, drink more. We did attend an event at a certain piano bar in Orlando though so we discuss that a bit. Anybody that's interested in grabbing some beers with the No Guarantees guys, we will be at cafe DaVincis in DeLand for the Lagunitas "Keep the Jar" night. Buy an IPA you keep the mason jar. Pretty simple. Saturday the 22nd we will be at World of Beer Lake Mary for Lagunitas keg tapping of Citrusenensis and Chicago Fusion XXX. Come hang with us, get a coozie, some Lagunitas schwag and a beer with us! After that we'll be heading to Tomoka Brewery to end the night on a high note! Music Featured in the Show: Left, Right - YG / To Plant A Seed - We Came As Romans / Writing On The Walls - Underoath / Chesterfield King - Jawbreaker / What I’ve Done - Linkin Park / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Feels like it's been a another year already but alas it has only been 2 shows since the 1 year. Only 50 more to go! Recently we've noticed a direct correlation between "art" and homeless people. We dive into what gives value to "art" and how there really is no true "ones own perception" anymore. Also we found out if making money as an artist doesn't pan out you could make a cool $51,000 as a Taco Bell manager. Coming back from break Paul gets excited over some Republican talk. He still has a boner. Tonight we come up with, what we think is, a million dollar idea. Death Row Hunger Games. Pretty much is exactly what it sounds like. To finish off the night we talk about another one of our new ideas, beer insurance. Sounds pretty foolproof to us. As always we end it with some of Jesses Stories. Thanks for hanging with us again guys and make sure to tell your friends about us! The more listeners, the more cool things we can do with you guys! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: Happy Song - Bring Me The Horizon / Parallels - As I Lay Dying / One Shot One Kill - Dr. Dre (ft. Snoop Dogg & Craig Owens) / Alien - The Devil Wears Prada / Till It's Gone - Yelawolf / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

I'm trying to type a summary but I'm way too interested in the new porno that Jesse has supplied me with, which in this show you'll find out how Zack is in a bit of a porno rut. To start off though we recap Fridays ! year anniversary event. Thank you to everyone that made it out! We had a great time and plan to do more events like this in the future! After recap the drunken shenanigans we get into some more discussion type topics like Cecil the Lion. After the "serious" talk, we get into our fratboy douche neighbors at the Orlando City match this past weekend. To end the show Jesse gives us a couple stories including some girls scamming ISIS and UFO's flying over Wisconsin and Japan, which branches off into alien talk. Thanks for listening guys and we hope to make it another year with all of you! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: No Diggity - Chet Faker / Long Live - Atreyu / Got To My Head - WATERS / In Fate's Hands - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus / Breathing Underwater - Metric / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Show #52! One whole year! First off thank you to all that have tuned in every week and joined us in our drunkin ramblings. To start things off we talk about our experience at a local Japanese sushi restaurant. From Japanese restaurant we go into Japanese porno. (Wouldn't be a show if we didn't do some sort of porno talk). To be honest, I'm pretty drunk and don't remember what the rest of the show consisted of. What else do you expect from a one year show? Anyway, we hope to see you ll this Friday, July 31st at Celery City for our 1 year meet up! 2 free beers and a shot just for showing up! Can't beat that! See you guys there! Music Featured in the Show: Born For This - Paramore / Trip Switch - Nothing But Thieves / Homeless Jazz - Letlive / In the Belly of a Shark - Gallows / The Flood - Escape The Fate / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Show #51! 1 away from the big 1 year! We start this week with wet dreams. Have you ever had one? From there we go into Paul's 10 year reunion. Apparently not much has changed. After the first break we get into a little bit of a more serious subject. When should people just mind their own business and when should they get involved? We actually had a great call from our buddy Owen on the subject and it felt good to have a bit of a discussion that wasn't about dicks. In the final segment we talk about how we feel the Special Olympics and Olympics should be a bit more intertwined. Theres nothing i can really say here to explain this so you'll just have to listen. Make sure everyone checks out our event Friday July 31st at Celery City in downtown Sanford! 2 free beers and a shot! If thats not incentive, i don't know what is. Music Featured in the Show: Outta My Mind - The Arcs / Leave a Trace - Chvrches / Ride Wit Me - T.I. / Burning Our Morals Away - Slaves/ Heavy is the Heart - Zac Brown Band / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Show number 50, we are officially over the hill! Sorry, dad joke. I'm gonna cut to the chase, we had absolutely nothing planned for this show. It was 100% off the cuff. So enjoy the ramblings of three drunken idiot friends. After all, that's what this show is based off right? Make sure you check out our 1 year event on Facebook! It's going to be at Celery City in downtown sanford on July 31st. We can already guarantee you 1 free beer and 1 free shot! Make sure to keep track to see what else we have in the works for you. See you guys next week for show number 51! Oh so close to that 1 year mark of 52 shows! Music Featured in the Show: Monsters - Matchbook Romance / I Told Her I Invented Times New Roman - Dance Gavin Dance / Martyrs - August Burns Red / Got Money - Lil Wayne / The Future Freaks Me Out - Motion City Soundtrack / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!

Welcome back! It feels good to be back in studio and have the guys back together! As you may know (or don't) Paul was on vacation last week, which was why there was no live show. Obviously the first thing we dive into is Paul's trip. Only Paul would pay for a hotel and then not stay in it. Not only does he choose to sleep in his car, he also gets blackout drunk and meets a new friend! After vacation talk we fall back into the usual Monday night discussions. don't you think palm readers would make a good front for a happy ending business. I mean, sounds like there's money to be made! To close out we get a few stories from Jesse, some stupid, some we're really excited about. It's always a bit rough to get back in the swing of things after a week off but we had a good time tonight and appreciate all who joined us! We'll be back next week ready to go with all the innapropriate things we always have to talk about, see you then! Music Featured in the Show: High - Zella Day / Take Back the Power - The Interrupters / Feels Like Forever - Of Mice & Men / Back Against the Wall - Two Tongues / Fucked Up Kids - Hit The Lights / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!