No Time to Not Win

Stothton discusses the recent ransomware attack on Colonial Pipeline with Jack Tetherton and Jack Walshman. If anyone at Colonial Pipeline wants consultation from my reverse-hacking team just contact me and we can set something up. No worries, it would only be a couple million per hour at most.

Stothton discusses the U.S. healthcare system with Gordon Temple, a consultant who is very unhappy with the current state of the system, and Dr. Olden, Stothton's childhood dentist. All I'll say is if you're looking for a dentist I would steer clear of Dr. Olden. But, if you want some laughing gas he can probably hook you up.

Stothton discusses proper gasoline containment with Jack Tetherton and Jack Walshman. Consider this episode a PSA, because clearly a lot of people have no understanding of gasoline. Guess what, it's a corrosive and volatile substance that's designed to explode inside your car's engine, so stop trying to store it in crappy plastic bags and buckets. Next week we'll go into more detail about the cyberattack on Colonial Pipeline.

Stothton discusses corporate jargon with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. It's very simple, never use any of the terms mentioned in this episode. If you do, you're an insecure pleb and you're definitely fired.

Stothton discusses the Johnson and Johnson vaccine pause and subsequent reinstatement with political advisor Jack Walshman and scientific advisor Jack Tetherton. Like damn near everything, the problem ultimately comes down to people and optics. If people had any real sense, none of the vaccines would even be necessary and Coca-Cola's stock would be soaring.

Stothton discusses gender reveals with Hermes Claywater and Timothy Larson. Hermes is staunchly against gender reveals while Timothy wholeheartedly supports them. In fact, Timothy seems to be so enamored with these things that you could almost call it radicalization. Regardless, this Timothy guy thinks he can take out my building just to show the world he's having a baby girl. What a moron...

Stothton discusses Star Wars with Jack Tetherton and Bill Chafton. Let's get straight to the point, stop deluding yourself into liking these big-budget movies and tv shows just because you're "supposed" to like them. By and large, Star Wars just isn't good and anyone who is truly honest with themself knows that Episode 1 is the best Star Wars movie.

Stothton discusses some game-changing ideas for handling traffic violations with his personal mechanic Chase Walluhz and political advisor Jack Walshman. These ideas may seem fishy at first, but just keep listening. I don't think I'm being immodest when I say that in less than 30 minutes we basically developed a path to fix this entire country and all it would take is professional hooning.

Stothton discusses the reports that Amazon workers are peeing in bottles due to overly demanding working conditions and sparsely placed bathrooms with political advisor Jack Walshman and an Amazon insider who chose to remain anonymous. There's no need to worry guys, Amazon's working conditions actually maximize the health and fitness of their workers. The workers supposedly peeing in bottles just aren't up to Amazon's high standards. At least that's what this Amazon shill wants us to think.

Stothton discusses automotive "hooning" with his personal mechanic Chase Walluhz and Peter Sofdie, a crossing guard. Some people say hooning is reckless and dangerous, but I say hooning just means driving in a manner that's not boring and stupid. Basically, hooning is not a crime and after Peter takes a ride in my Porsche I'm sure he'll agree.