An episode heavy on crime: shoplifting, missing people, and overdue porno tapes.

This week, we welcome on the one and only Van Lathan, the host of Ringer podcasts such as Higher Learning, Midnight Boys, and Ringer Tailgate. He’ll be reading as Valentina*, a woman who’s had her fair share of weird exes and heartbreak, but is managing to dance her way through it all.

(*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:00: Voice memos are hell.
05:11: Our guest: Van Lathan
06:31: Our business: "Valentina"
08:16: First Things First: “He produced for the Wu-Tang Clan specifically.”
12:05: Worst Ex: "I turn around and standing there is his mom.”
26:46: One Who Got Away: "If there is criminal activity …”
45:08: Best I Ever Had: "The Prince."
50:04: Status Update: "Conscious celibacy."

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at [email protected].

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod
TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod
Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad
Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit
Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen
Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen

Van's Instagram: instagram.com/vanlathan
Van's Twitter: x.com/VanLathan

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Van Lathan
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeat.com.

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Lock in, because it’s Bosco Sticks Day.

This week, we’ve got a special story about the most fun girl in Cincinnati. Join us as the hilarious Sam Taggart from Straightiolab reads as Annie*, a nanny who had a slightly complicated relationship with one of her bosses.

(*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:00: The cringe of early dating.
06:35: Our guest: Sam Taggart
12:00: Our business: “Annie”
16:00: First Things First: “It was a mess.”
29:47: State of Affairs: “This lesbian couple reached out …”
46:03: Worst Ex: “Get all the ick you want.”
56:07: Shoulda Known Better: “She introduced me to eating ass.”
01:00:54: Status Update: “Actually the best sex I’ve ever had.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at [email protected]

Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

Sam's Podcast (Straightiolab): instagram.com/straightiolab

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen
Guest: Sam Taggart
Supervising producer: Justin Sayles
Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle
Video editing and production: Kayla Talley
Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle
Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris
Motion design: Skull Closet Studio
Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton
Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toss on your goggles and head to the playa with us, because we have a fun one for you. This week, we're joined by Greta Titelman, the amazing actor and comedian you may recognize from 'Search Party,' 'Los Espookys,' and 'Problemista.' She'll be reading as "Lucas*"—a ladies' man from Los Angeles with some tales about Burning Man and a threesome faux pas that nearly ended a friendship, plus one group story that's so good we don't want to spoil it here.

(*Not his real name. Definitely his real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:00: A tale of two Bobs

07:43: Our guest: Greta Titelman

08:20: Our story: “Lucas”

13:11 First things first: “This is cool"

15:10: Worst ex: “Terminator vibes”

24:30: The one who got away: "My main three exes"

32:26: Wildest sex stories: "I'll just call it a cult"

49:25: Best I ever had: “On a blanket in the middle of Burning Man"

55:24: Status update: “I gotta chill out a bit”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at [email protected].

Follow None of My Business on Instagram and TikTok.

Follow Greta Titelman on Instagram and TikTok.

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Greta Titelman

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re back with one of our favorites. This week, we’re joined by comedian and co-host of the podcast Exploration Live Charlie Bardey, who’s reading anonymous stories from Gwen*. Strap in as we talk about a journalism assignment that led to self-discovery, someone with the super power to smell sperm, and livesex at SIRenty Farms. Plus, we try to figure out to get Kelsey a boyfriend that can be Sophia’s buddy.

(*Not her real name. Definitely her real stories.)

Today’s business includes …

00:22: Should you be buddies with your friend’s boyfriend?

10:30: Our guest: Charlie Bardey

16:32: Our story: “Gwen”

18:35: The backstory: “Beating a path to the glory hole.”

30:40: First things … second: “She literally smelled cum on my breath.”

39:19: Worst ex: “He’s why I ended up in Kansas City.”

45:22: Places and space: SIRenity now.

48:00: Cheat sheet: “Barbara Bush.”

53:45: Best I’ve ever had: “The sugar baby thing.”

57:40: Status update: “I speak Jesus, I can fake a prayer.”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at [email protected].

Follow None of My Business on Instagram and TikTok.

Follow Charlie Bardey on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter.

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Charlie Bardey

Supervising producer: Justin Sayles

Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video editing and production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton

Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re popping our podcast cherries!

It’s our first episode, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by Paige Gallagher to read anonymous stories from Isabella*. We’re talking about men who wash their face with Dawn dish soap, pegging the Marines, a few unconventional marriage arrangements, and dating someone who looks exactly like you.

(*Not her real name. Definitely her real stories.)

Today's show includes ...

00:23: Welcome to None of My Business!

10:29: Our guest: Paige Gallagher

11:59: Our story: “Isabella”

15:00: First things first: “I’ve actually never had an orgasm”

24:14: Peg the Marines

34:53: Worst first date: “Why aren’t you kissing me?”

38:52: The one who got away: The two-year situationship

47:04: Cheat sheet: The cousin story

54:32: Best I ever had: “I don't consider myself a size queen, but …”

If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at [email protected].

None of My Business Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

None of My Business TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod

Paige Instagram: instagram.com/paigeagallagher

Paige TikTok: tiktok.com/@pgally

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Guest: Paige Gallagher

Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles

Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio

Additional Motion Design Support: Chris Calleton

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Because we all love hearing things that aren't any of our business. Each Monday, Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen take you on a journey into the private sex lives and relationships of real-life (anonymous) people—with the help of our favorite funny people.

If you'd like to submit your stories ~anonymously~ reach out to us at [email protected], and we'll get back to you.

Follow us on IG: http://instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

Follow us on TikTok: http://tiktok.com/noneofmybusiness.pod

Subscribe on YouTube: youtube.com/@NoneOfMyBusinessPod

Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen

Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles

Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle

Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley

Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle

Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris

Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices