Nos Pasa a Todos: A Queer Latino's Podcast

Today, we wanted to talk about what love means, and how do we find it? This is a broad question, for sure, but there are so many ways to look at love, and how have our perspectives of love changed throughout our lives? We take this podcast episode deeper into our lives, not to take away the from the focus of our topic, but to address the value of secure attachment and how elements of shame and insecurity influence how we view ourselves and the capacity we have to love. We're all able to engage with someone else in a vulnerable and loving manner, but what does this look like, and how can others understand how love is shaped by life experiences and early attachments in our lives? Take a listen to our podcast today and ponder what it means to you. 

Here's the thing, we know how difficult it can be to express our needs when we're upset, if we're feeling angry, frustrated or shameful. These are just a few of the ways we feel when our partner, our friend or closed love one upsets us in a way that, when we feel a loss of control of our emotions, we can push or pull away from our attachments, or even push them away from us. Today, we talk about the value of secure attachment, because understanding how we can thoughtfully label our emotions, put words to those reactions, and help our partner(s) or other attachments be there to lean on to will be a beautiful transformation. Our past relationships can influence our reactions, especially when we're triggered, and we talk about this as well, because everyone deserves a secure attachment, and you might not realize how much your past relationships are impacting your current attachments too. 

When we talk about removing obstacles to growth, we're focusing on the need for awareness and comfort in a relationship, and how our own roadblocks can affect our emotional and physical attachment with a partner. You may have heard the saying that goes, "you have to love yourself first, before you can love someone else." In terms of attachment, you might not find security or comfort in yourself until the moment you find another human being who can help build your awareness about your needs. Security and trust can be found, even in times of global crises, when we communicate and have someone to help us pay attention to the parts of us that are struggling. We can unlock so much potential just by making the effort to connect with someone else. 

Through the struggles that are moving you in the direction of your life, it's important to gain awareness about how trauma has impacted you. What are some of the experiences of trauma in your life? Maybe you need some help understanding what trauma looks like, because the timestamp on grief can be infinite, and there's no amount of time that can given to you to deal with that trauma(s). We're hopeful you find hope and safety in relationships in your life, especially those that can help you discover the impact of trauma in your life and how reaching out to a loved one, or even a counselor, can help you build that awareness and process the feelings underlying your triggers or responses to instances that remind you of your own traumatic experiences. 

Right now, it's so hard to get in touch with what we're experiencing, especially with the current COVID-19 crisis in America. Wherever you need a listening ear, it's important to recognize the value in processing your own emotions, and you need a safe-base for security and trust. To have someone that can listen and provide a sense of empathy for what you're going through is the ultimate tool with this particular crisis. We're reaching out giving the listeners some options that are effective for various personality types or backgrounds. I hope we can continue to offer valuable information about attachment and the value self-care has in maintaining healthier bonds with those we love!

The world is always changing, and right now, we're learning that some things are out of our control. We're two working mental health professionals that are aimed at focusing on the beauty of attachments and understanding what direction to take when we're struggling in different ways.