Not Like This

Rich and Muzz take a trip down memory lane to the wild 90s, trading tales about some of the AFL's legendary suburban grounds; animal enclosures, rat cages, flying tinnies, pools of urine, freight trains from hell, Philip Morris sponsorships...in the days before cigarettes could kill you.

In Lockdown Number 5, Muzz and T-Bone run a two-man game, (space) jamming on a little bitta Walsh Wizardry, the Clarko Cup, Nank the Tank, the Cats' 'surgical, joyless' football, two lost years as live sports fans, interesting quagmires, precarious businesses, Rex Hunt rants, the Saints' punishment for Muzz angering the football gods and, most importantly, Jair Bolsonaro's constipation!

In the final instalment of T-Bone's (epic) look at the career of his beloved Mick Malthouse, he trades 'war' stories with Rich and Muzz about the drawn 2010 Grand Final and explores the impossibility of Mick and Bucks ever working 'side by side', even if that impossibility was more possible than Mick managing to make Carlton great again!

Rich, Muzz and the Bone recap a perfect round of football, bebop jazz riffing on a stellar Tay Tay's Fight Club, Peggy O's scorched earth Tigers, 'Teflon' Kenny's energy drink addiction, 'Diesel' Dunstan's Brownlow push and a mammoth Trac Watch...hell, they even throw in five minutes of mandatory Dockers talk! And for the first time ever, Richie refutes the Gods at the high table of Valhalla. If nothing else, tune in for the best opening two minutes in Not Like This history.

This week T-Bone's coaching odyssey delves into Mick Malthouse's black and white years; from his beef with Bucks, to his love of Licuria, to his 'rat' whispering, to his sociopathic midweek rituals...Malthouse called upon the Roman Legion, and Sun Tzu himself, to break the Collywobbles and finally lead the Pies through the gates of Valhalla.

In the wake of a woeful encounter between their two teams, Rich, Muzz and the Bone launch into a series of unjustifiable swipes at the football industry; T-Bone gets stuck into the 'anaemic Eagles' and the 'insufferable...rope-a-dope' Giants, Rich accuses Clarko of 'weak sauce' and finally tells the Baby Bombers to trundle back to Tullamarine, Muzz hits boiling point with Fox Footy's 'pressure gauge' and drives a dagger into his own heart by turning on his beloved Ross the Boss.

The ox may be slow...but T-Bone's coaching odyssey is patient! In the first instalment of T-Bone's homage to Mick Malthouse, he takes Rich and Muzz west to re-live the Robo-Eagles years, when Malthouse played the perfect villain, guiding West Coast to two flags and ten consecutive finals appearances, without gaining due recognition from the Victorian football public. 25 years later, T-Bone finally puts some respect on Mick's name!

Richie Buckets calls his own bluff and attempts to eat an entire profiterole cake live on the podcast, succumbing to a Marlon Brando-like state of incapacity, while Muzz and T-Bone try to solve the major mysteries of round 15: the re-emergence of Luke 'Diesel' Dunstan, Danger-mouse or Danger-shank, who is the Eagles' mongoose?  And bravely, with his veins full of sugar, Richie treks to the high table of Valhalla to consult the football gods on whether business is finally closed for the all-conquering Tigers.

In the latest instalment of T-Bone's coaching odyssey, Rich, Muzz and the Bone attempt mission impossible by trying to convert the bland, authoritarian, hugely successful coaching career of Denis Pagan into a hilarious one-hour episode. Can it be done? And would Pagan himself approve? Yes, and certainly not!

Rich, Muzz and the Bone celebrate the return of Jake 'The Package' Stringer as well as the 'Libba Experience'. A new stealth shithead is added to the panel's pantheon of AFL shitheads. Muzz's infatuation with one coach reaches frightening new levels with his 'motorcycle diaries', T-Bone takes a leaf out of Jaidyn Stephenson's (barely legible) book and hits up the TAB, and Richie Buckets doesn't just close a business...he closes an entire franchise!