Not Like This

Muzz and Richie break the fourth wall of podcasting by recording a 'live' episode during the closing stages of the AFL's (insert mercilessly promoted corporate partner) trade period, revisiting past deadline day horror stories, rejoicing as some legends of the pod find new homes, marvelling at the tier two ruckman merry-go-round and Hawthorn's failed fire sale. Do these two footy tragics have more hutzpah than Heater and Daisy? Or the Armchair Experts? You decide!

Muzz and Richie Buckets enjoy a quick chat with the ABC's state political reporter/long-suffering (non-toff) Melbourne supporter, Richard Willingham, the day after his beloved Dees gave the Dogs hell in the AFL Grand Final.

Rich, Muzz and the Bone bring all kinds of heat to their analysis of a Grand Final that, for three quarters, lived up to their wildest expectations. They dissect the mammoth midfield battle, the Dogs' deal with the Gods, Brian Taylor's commentary, T-Bone's failure as the podcast's chief smug prognosticator and the Demons heroes - Gus, Clarry, Frisky, 'Action' Jackson - who ended 57 years of failure. And, if nothing else, tune in for an extended Grand Final mic drop edition of Trac Watch!

Rich, Muzz and the Bone drift into unchartered waters as they attempt a grand final preview, critiquing steely gazes during national anthems, forward divas versus defenders of the dark arts, players most likely to have all-nighters before the game, players least likely to pay for Vietnamese spring rolls if their side prevails, and the authenticity of fans who paint their houses in club colours...all in a circuitous attempt to predict whether the Demons or the Bulldogs will hold the premiership cup aloft.

T-Bone's coaching odyssey reaches its bone-busting conclusion as him, Rich and Muzz list their top 20 coaches of the AFL era. 'Zen Man' Roos or 'Wild Man' Scotty? Painful Pagan or Mercurial Malcolm? Lethal or Clarko? Heinous chokes, utter rage, player humiliation, bouts with aliens, whispers to the Gods...three football tragics enjoy one last look back at the legends who made it through the gates of Valhalla.

Muzz and T-Bone pay their (begrudging) respect to all things Alastair Clarkson: the Hawks' three-peat, Clarko's victories over turgid, ugly opponents in finals, his re-shaping of the Kennett Curse, his phasing out of 'Buddy' Franklin, his treks through Siberian winters to recruit opposition players, his intense competitiveness, his 24-hour tears of anger, his excruciating acoustic guitar playing, his filibustering...and they finally acknowledge Clarko's status as a legend of the AFL.

After both preliminary finals stank as contests, Rich, Muzz and the Bone fire up about 'Teflon' Kenny and his Power chokers, 'Wild Man' Scotty and his pot-committed Cats, Bevo's post-match vitriol, a MAMMOTH Trac Watch, a gobsmacking Gawn, unsung Doggies heroes, scorched earths, Carlton's uninspiring coaching options, finals trauma and, rather enjoyably, Collingwood's ongoing draft night trauma.

T-Bone's coaching odyssey chronicles arguably the greatest coach of the AFL era, Alastair Clarkson, who embraced sports science, analytics, the draft, Genghis Khan mantras and fleecing opposition teams at the trade table in his prophecy to take Hawthorn from a blue-collar team in the early 2000s, to a meticulous, 'death-by-a-thousand-cuts' contender who pulled off one of the greatest boilovers in Grand Final history in 2008...when the Hawks found a way to stop the shark from moving!

With only two games to cover, Rich, Muzz and the Bone finally get to break into the long form analysis - umpire audits included - that they've always craved. T-Bone rejoices in the realisation of his Bont injury prophecy, Muzz re-lives the 'weird hypothetical' that nearly turned Chris Scott into a Bandido, Richie reveals his most handsome player in the AFL, the panel unveil their (confusing) Liam Picken All Stars for 2021 and give their thoughts on the Pies' new 'mystery box' coach.

T-Bone's coaching odyssey takes a regrettable, yet inevitable voyage to the high-water mark of 'the enemy' in the 90s, when David Parkin, who'd thrived in an era where a coach's authority was absolute, managed to usher in the practice of player empowerment, culminating in the Blues' (in no way untainted) 1995 flag. Parkin's poems, Diesel's dominance, trade table heists, cigars in the coaching box; just the general smugness of born-to-rule Carlton...finally, an episode for all Navy Blues fans to enjoy!